Unexplained connection
by Daniel'smummy
Summary: Bella and Jake struggle with an unusual imprinting, but it is only the start of Jake's discoveries. Soon a tangled web of secrets threatens to seperate him from his pack and push him into an uneasy allegiance to keep Bella safe from harm. Now complete
1. Chapter 1

A/N – We are at the Meadow in New Moon, Bella hasn't seen Jacob since the night with Mike at the Movies.

Disclaimer – Everything twilight belongs to Meyer.

[Bella POV]

The meadow doesn't look like it should, doesn't feel like it should.

It is cold. Where is the sun, the flowers, where is …he…?

I slumped to the ground in despair, the pain gripping at my chest, halting my breaths so they came out sounding strangled.

I can't keep going, I can't think, I just don't want to be without him anymore.

Leaning forward I braced my hands on the ground, choking, gasping, the wind tangling my hair messily around my face, tears streamed from my eyes and I was too tired of it all to even wipe them away.

It was all starting to slip away, everything that mattered, everything that I cared about. It didn't matter what I did - I couldn't keep him…them…anyone. My stomach began to churn and my head began to spin, that sickening feeling threatening to overwhelm me. I leant forward and squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to stop my head from spinning.

"_Bella" _

I froze, I think every single part of me stopped, even my heartbeat, my breathing, everything. Please don't let it stop, please, anything God anyone, don't let it stop.

"_Bella…open your eyes"_

This was it, the moment, the drug I craved. I can't move, can't break it. Please...

"_Bella…run…Bella…please"_

"Isabella"

What…no…who?

My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head, blinking from the tears and hair tangled in my eyelashes. I saw him then, standing not four feet from me. His eyes pierced through me and I inhaled sharply as I saw the brilliant red.

As I pushed myself up, he advanced forward, feline, graceful, lethal.

I scrambled back and he dropped to match me, crawling forward until he was between my legs, his hands now on the ground either side of my body.

I knew I was going to die now, the same way I had known when James was pressed against me in the ballet studio. They were the same that was probably what drew them together. It wasn't just my blood he wanted – it was my fear.

I felt the seconds tick by. I should be dead by now if it was just about killing me.

I looked him straight in the eyes and calmed my breathing.

I flinched as he moved his hand to my face, then the sickness flooded my mouth as he stroked my hair back from my eyes.

His hand ran down my face and neck trailing his fingers over my pulse, it was the way…he… used to touch me, this wasn't right. My sense of dignity took over. Killing me was to be expected but this I wasn't tolerating.

He moved forward pressing himself against me, oh God – he was aroused. This was disgusting.

I sucked in a large breath and shouted out "Get off me you pervert!" pushing uselessly at his shoulders with my hands.

He cocked his head to one side, looking at me quizzically. His mouth opened to speak, then his head snapped back and he jumped up as if he had received an electric shock. He began stepping quickly backwards staring at the trees behind us.

All sense of self-preservation went out the window as I turned my back on the blood thirsty vampire who seemed to be planning to rape and kill me to look at what had apparently frightened him.

I squinted, struggling to make anything out of the darkness between the trees. A sound behind me made me turn and I saw him now several paces away from me. As I watched, his eyes widened and he spun starting to run at his inhuman speed. Snapping my head back I went to squint, then realised I could make out the shapes of several animals coming out of the trees. They were huge and for a moment my mind struggled to work out what they were.

Two crouched and then sprung forward, running furiously at a pace that was as inhuman as the vampire, tearing off after him. The other two came forward to where I was still sprawled on the ground.

I was breathing so fast my chest was beginning to hurt. One stood back looking in the direction the others had run. The other animal came very close and I froze for the second time today. Its coat was long and I felt the hairs brush my arm as it got closer. I could hear the panting sound of its breathing and I held still as I felt it sniffing me.

I was trying to remember what Charlie had said about holding still - oh but hold on - wasn't that for bears? Does it also work for over-sized wolves?

It sniffed by my neck, nudging my hair out of the way then turned its head towards the other and let out a whine. The other wolf then crouched and sprung in the same way, running after the others.

I glanced down looking at the brown hair or was it fur? and watched as it carefully moved its paws back from me. The huge animal moved itself as if to leave and in that split second I looked up.

My eyes locked straight into the deep brown of the wolf's left eye and suddenly, everything and nothing in the universe made sense. I felt my arms trembling as they began to move of their own accord, pushing me up towards it. Oh god I was moving, don't move - bears, but no I have to touch it, to feel it, to…love it? I placed my trembling hand on the fur, its eye didn't move from mine.

There was a howl in the distance and then in a blur the wolf was gone, charging in the same direction as the others. I watched as it tore away powerful and strong.

I pulled myself up, glancing around.

What the hell was I doing here?

What kind of craziness did I call my life?

Hold on, why am I not crying?

I began moving myself off towards the path, trying to work out if somewhere on my adventure I had lost my sanity as well as my bearings?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Twilight in all its glory belongs to SM.

I stood in the shower for a long time. My mind played over the strange events of the day whilst the water attempted to clean away the remains of my 'mis'adventures. I was a mess, the palms of my hands were scratched and scraped, as were my elbows, my knees well pretty much everything. Not counting the time I had spent scrabbling around on the ground in the meadow, I had also fallen down a lot trying to make my way home.

What had I been thinking? Why was I hiking around in the woods and alone at that? I could barely make it down to breakfast without hurting myself in some fashion. Yet no, leave it to Bella to throw herself not only to the whims of Mother Nature and all her blasted tree roots and slippery moss, but to the mercy of horny human-blood-drinking Vampires and now packs of giant horse sized wolves. Oh yes, that's me all right. What would Charlie think?

Oh God, Charlie... What have I been doing? What would he have thought if anything had happened to me? I've already put him through lost Bella, and zombie Bella and drunk-approaching Bella and motorbike Bella [well, not that he exactly knows about the last two]. I must be making him feel like the worst father in the world.

I shut off the water and hurried out, wincing as the towel scuffed against my sore skin. I have to make it up to him. Maybe everybody else...he...Ed…Edward doesn't want me but Charlie's always there.

Hold on, did I just say his name? I stopped halfway through putting my leg into a pair of clean sweats and promptly tumbled over onto the floor. I did, I said it. I put my hand up to my chest, there was pain, but it was more like uncomfortable heartburn than soul-destroying, father-destroying agony. Father - Charlie – my Dad, had been in pain, because of me. Hold on what was I thinking about before?

"Bella, did something fall?" Charlie's voice called up the stairs interrupting my confusion.

"Just me" I hollered back.

I jumped up and hauled on the rest of my clothes, rushing down the stairs, missing the last one and barrelling into him as he hung up his jacket. I threw my arms around him and squeezed as hard as I could. "Hello Daddy".

Charlie stiffened and cleared his throat. "Erm… Bella, have you been drinking?"

I laughed and turned my head up towards his face. "Nope, just THinking" I stated, putting the stress on the "TH" sound.

"I just wanted you to know that I know I must have been a bit of a handful for a while and that I probably made you feel uncomfortable".

Charlie shifted his feet a little and turned his eyes away but brought one arm up around me and sort of gently bumped my shoulder with his hand a couple of times.

"You don't need to say anything Dad, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me and I'm going to try and get my head together a bit better now".

He ruffled my hair and rested his chin on top of my head. "Bells, I know it can be hard being young but I err…"

"It's OK", I pushed away a little from Charlie before he got himself too flustered,

I know he doesn't like the emotional conversations and that 'Daddy' might have been a bit too much. Probably a lot too much, I'm not even sure where it came from?

"Anyway, it's special make-Dad-a-great-meal night tonight, so what would you like?"

"Um, Bells, can I just see your eyes again?" Charlie's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

I scowled softly at him "I have not been drinking!"

"Well, then, if you're good, steak would be great, there's um a game on, unless you wanted to erm… talk some more?" Charlie crinkled up his forehead, apparently finding the thought of continuing this conversation very unnerving.

"Nope, I'm good. Do you want to invite Billy up, I could make extra?" I smiled warmly.

"But what about the whole Jacob thing?" he whispered the last bit as if he was scared of upsetting me again.

"My problems are my problems, they shouldn't get in the way of your friendships – go on, give him a call".

The smile that crept across his face was priceless. This is what I wanted to see. He deserves to be happy. He almost skipped to the phone and dialled furiously.

"Billy, you're missing the game, and Bella is making us steaks! Yep, I'll be there in 15". Nothing more needed to be said, that's guys for you. He hung up the phone, kissed me on the forehead and dashed out the door. I pulled the steaks out and set to work.

This is what needed my energy, making Charlie happy, getting him together with his friends, not freaking him out. Maybe everybody else did leave me …Jacob, Alice, Ed…Edward, I said it again, and yep just heartburn. But Charlie didn't, he looked for me when I was lost and was there when I was hurting. Charlie loved me and that was enough for now.

Well, almost…somewhere there was a giant Wolf that had protected me and looked at me and sniffed me. OK, those are crazy people thoughts again Bella. Definitely time to make the steaks.

I was putting the final touches on the dinner as I heard the cruiser pull up. I got out two TV trays knowing that otherwise Charlie would feel obliged to sit down at the table. Charlie came in pushing Billy's chair just as I was about to take the trays in. I wasn't sure whether to look at Billy. I'd been bugging him a lot this past week, probably making him feel as bad as Charlie, after all what Jacob chose to do with his life wasn't under Billy's control, maybe Billy was as worried about him as Charlie had been about me. I walked over with the tray and gave Billy a bright smile, he smiled back - that was a genuine smile, it creased his eyes at the sides, so I knew it wasn't Billy's fault he'd been caught in the middle of teenage issues.

"This looks great Bella, no wonder your Dad looks like he's been gaining some around the middle" Billy joked.

This started some general joking and taunting between them so I brought Charlie his tray and retreated back to the kitchen feeling pleased with myself. I put some bits on a plate for myself and went to sit down. I had the oddest desire to eat outside, and after popping my head in and seeing that they were both fully engaged in the game, I pulled on a sweater and took my plate outside, sitting on the steps at the back of the house.

I was pushing the food around the plate, not really hungry when I heard a slight rustle from the bushes near the trees. I could feel my heart thumping in my throat. Then I chastised myself - it is probably just a damn squirrel.

What am I thinking about, it was a wolf - it's not going to pick up the phone book and look up my address for a house visit!

I heard the rustle again. OK, I'm truly loosing it now - maybe I should just go inside and ask Charlie to drive me to the nearest institution, of course after the game is finished.

Then I heard it, really quiet, the same whine I had heard earlier on today. My skin felt like electricity was coursing through me instead of blood. It tingled all over. Before I knew it I was up and moving, moving towards the bushes. Wow, I really have no control over my own body at the moment. I tiptoed closer and could make out the huge shape in the darkness. It was almost completely hidden, lying down on its belly with its head on its front paws.

"Hey" I said quietly and made a little wavy finger movement. I then bowed my head in shame. I just said 'Hey' to a big giant wolf and waved at it like it was a three-year-old. What was it someone said about being a 'danger-magnet', I really just keep asking for trouble.

The wolf tilted its head against giant paws and kept looking at me. It let out another quiet whine. It sounded like a hungry puppy. Wait, hungry, I wonder? I walked back and grabbed my plate from the steps. I put some of the food in my hand and held it really flat, like Renee had showed me when she went through her 'horses' phase. I knelt down carefully and held my hand out.

The giant tongue slurped across my hand, tickling as it went and I giggled like a child. I sat down more comfortably and continued until every last piece was gone. Each time the tongue brushed my hand I shivered despite not being cold. Suddenly the giant head raised and I jumped back a little, uncertain of the movement. It pushed my shoulder edging me in the direction of the house. At that moment, the door flung open and Charlie called out to me asking what I was doing in the dark.

"Feeding a squirrel" I said hesitantly moving towards him.

Charlie shook his head and let me know that he was going to drop Billy home. I turned back to the bush, but my giant wolf was already gone. My wolf, I liked the sound of that, and smiling, I went inside to wash the dishes.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Everything Twilight is SM's not mine.

I blinked a number of times, stretched and turned to look at the clock. Wow, that had been a great night's sleep. Normally, the nightmares would have meant that I would wake up with a pounding headache. But today, I felt refreshed, energetic, and alive. That was a nice feeling. I sat up and looked at my window. Then I looked at my room in general. I realised that I had avoided looking at everything recently. It was as if I hadn't been seeing anything, at all, for quite a while.

I hopped out of bed and began moving around humming. I opened up cupboards and drawers and realised that not only had I been letting my head get in a mess, my room was in a pretty bad way too. There was a light tap at the door and Charlie popped his head in.

"I heard you were up, I'm going in to work for a bit, there's been some trouble with the hikers".

"Ok Dad, be safe" I beamed him a wide smile. He nodded and pulled his head back out. I distinctly heard some muttering about 'not understanding women' as he headed down the stairs.

Smiling, I began pulling everything out of the closet. I stopped for a moment when I got to the bottom and realised what I had just put my hands on. Pushing a pile of clothes off the bed I sat down and took a deep breath. I pulled the bag open and dumped the contents out onto the bed. I ran my hands over the mutilated stereo allowing my mind to briefly recall Emmet's booming laughter when he had fitted it into the truck. I did love that laugh. Turning it over it was pretty clear that I had ruined it beyond repair in my psychotic moment of removal so I shoved it back in the bag. I moved around picking up other bits of rubbish, adding them to the bag whilst I allowed the guilt to touch my heart a little. It was obviously expensive and Emmet had installed it himself, it was a shame I had ruined it, it would have been a nice reminder of him. I tied up the now full bag and put it in the hallway.

I was surprised with myself, did I actually want reminder? Hadn't I fought to get rid of anything that may cause me to think of Ed…Edward? Perhaps, but the others, I think I did want to remember. Yes they left me, but then they were his family, so really that was only right in a way. I had Charlie; they knew he would love me and keep me safe. They knew I had Renee, so really, in all honesty, what did they actually owe me?

Renee…hold on…I walked back into my room and looked back on the bed. Wasn't one of these presents something to do with Renee? I remembered now, the silver box. Oh yes, the plane tickets. How could I have forgotten? I smoothed out the paper. Yes, there was still some time on them. I pinned them to my board to consider later. It was a beautiful thoughtful gift from Esme. She was such a kind-hearted soul. I wouldn't ruin that gift. No I would definitely make use of it.

My stomach began grumbling and I wandered down to the kitchen to grab a granola bar. As I munched, I thought about them. Little bouncing pixie Alice, I did miss her so, always playing dress up with me. Then it occurred to me - that would be her gift to me, her reminder. I charged back up the stairs and looked at the piles of clothes. I began analysing them in turn – ratty, tatty straight into a garbage bag. Boring but good condition items and scary random things that Renee had bought but I would not be seen dead in into a neat pile for goodwill. That left me with a small pile of pretty clothes that I felt comfortable in but were attractive too. I shook my head as I realised that I had probably looked quite a state recently. I hung my small pile up tidily and realised that it didn't amount to very much.

I carried the garbage downstairs and then went over to the phone. I dialled Angela's number and chewed my lip while I waited for her to answer. Her mum picked up and I could hear the surprised tone in her voice when she told Angela who was on the line. I guess I've been letting a lot of people down recently.

"Hello, Bella, is everything ok?" she asked in quiet, cautious voice. My eyes prickled as I could imagine her concerned face.

"Hi Angela, I'm fine, listen, I was just having a massive clear out of my closet and I realised I have hardly anything to wear. I know its late notice but I wondered if you might have some time to go shopping for some stuff". I paused, realising I had said this all very quickly, using just one breath.

"Oh yeah, cool, absolutely – goodness Bella, shopping, that's...that's well...that's just….great. I have some stuff to do this morning but do you want to meet me around 2?" Angela seemed truly happy and I was smiling as I made arrangements to pick her up.

I bought the good will piles down and bagged them up neatly, stacking them by the door. I figured I could probably drop them off whilst we were out shopping. I started dragging the garbage bags out the back door and managed to get one tangled around my leg. I lost my balance and fell over on the other one, causing it to pop open under my weight and spilling the tatty clothing all over the place. I was just shaking my head in disbelief when a coarse, half-barking, half-coughing sound came from behind the bushes. I went still, my eyes wide as the bush began to shake and quiver.

Now hold on a minute! I stood up and put my hands on my hips. "Are you laughing at me?" I snapped.

Its head poked round and I flinched as it raised itself up onto its legs from where it had obviously been lying.

In the daylight it was the first time I had really had a chance to look at it properly, well without someone trying to kill me that is. It stood about shoulder high with me on its four legs and I wondered how tall it would be just standing on its hind legs. Its coat was long as I had noticed yesterday but in the sunlight it almost seemed to shine. It was a gorgeous russet brown colour that reminded me of the warm earth back in Phoenix. The brown fur was shuddering as the wolf continued its barking coughing sound and I remembered my indignation. I stared into its eyes.

"It is not polite to laugh at people's misfortune! I scolded.

The wolf edged forwards and nudged at some of the clothes that had spilled out, tilting its head to look at me. I glanced down and colour rushed to my face as I realised that what had spilled out closest to it were the pile of old underwear that had gone grey and holey.

"Oh God" I cried out.

I scooped up the offending items hurriedly and rushed back into the house for a fresh bag. I stormed back out and began furiously stuffing everything into the bag, refusing to look it in the eyes again.

How embarrassing, not only am I completely and totally insane and apparently have some sort of bizarre cross-species crush on a giant sized wolf, but then I go and plonk the world's worst collection of nobody-should-see-these-but your-mother ratty underwear in front of said wolf. Ground, swallow me up now please.

Once I had finished humiliating myself I looked round to see that the wolf was stretched out on the grass in a patch of sunlight. My stomach grumbled and I realised that the granola bar and probably not done much for me given all the cleaning and carting around. I turned to the wolf…my wolf and smiled.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

Ok, Bella you have really checked into crazy town hotel now, so let's just go with the flow.

My wolf made a huffing sound which I supposed seemed affirmative so I went inside and started grabbing various items. After a few minutes I came back outside and spread a blanket out in the sunny bit. I went back and forth putting various food items out on the blanket. I really have no idea what wolves eat. I should probably start watching more Discovery Channel. I took out some leftover chicken from the other day and held it out. Slurp, ok chicken is good. This continued for some time, it would appear that wolves like everything. That makes it easier. My wolf never took its eyes off me the whole time and I found myself glancing shyly every so often. It really felt like there was electricity flowing between us.

Once all the food was gone, I sat there, feeling a bit silly. I was not exactly sure what to do now. Ok, this moment is getting awkward, need to do something.

"Can I read to you?" Oh wow, I am so lame. Reading…to a wolf….I think I need help.

My wolf huffed again. I guess that's a yes then. I gathered up the boxes and plates from the food and carted some back to the kitchen, grabbing my battered book as I went.

I sat back down on the blanket and my wolf shuffled over a bit until I was resting against its side. It was so warm and I could feel its heartbeat thumping away. I began reading, I figured it would be best to start from the beginning, after all I not sure if wolves had heard of Wuthering Heights. I had been reading for several pages out loud when I realised that the heartbeats were a lot slower. Taking the opportunity I leant round to look at the wolf's face. Its eyes were shut and its head was resting on its paws, breathing deeply. Oh bless, it feel asleep. I snuggled back against the warm coat and continued reading silently to myself.

"Erm…Bella sweetheart, it's time to wake up_"_, a soft voice broke me from my dream.

My eyes flickered open and I took in the sight of Harry Clearwater standing by the side of the house. Oh wow, I feel asleep it was so warm and toasty.

"Uh Bella, I'm meeting Billy and your dad for lunch in a minute…" Harry's voice trailed off and he nodded his head towards the blanket and the book and the OH MY GOD still sleeping big giant wolf in the middle of my lawn with my Dad due back in a minute!

OH God! Oh God! I scrambled, my foot must have shot out and kicked the wolf as it reared up fiercely growling and darting its head around. Its eyes came to rest on Harry who was standing still at the corner of the house.

Harry slowly raised his hands up gesturing that he meant no harm and spoke calmly. "Time to get home son, Charlie is on his way"

The wolf stared for a second longer, no longer growling but a menacing sight nonetheless. Then turned and sprang into the woods.

I stood stock still, staring at Harry in disbelief. What?…who?….ok I'm the only one who is supposed to be calm in the face of all things bizarre, everyone else should be screaming and running and grabbing women and children. But…what…'Son'…did Harry _know_ my wolf?

"Bella?" I heard Charlie shout as he came round the house.

"We're out here Charlie". Harry hollered back.

Charlie came round with Billy and there was a look of confusion on his face. "Did you have company here Bella? In your pyjamas?"

I glanced down in confusion and I felt my cheeks redden as I realised that I had never gotten dressed this morning, I shuffled from foot to foot. Not trusting my voice, not trusting my mind at this point.

But then suddenly Harry spoke instead. "It's ok Charlie, it was one of our Quileute boys, don't worry, it was all above board".

Hold on.. What did he say?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Twilight is SM's only, sad but true.

[Wolf POV]

'I don't want to think, I don't want to think' I droned repetitively inside my head.

"No no! That's not how you do it, that's just giving me a headache!" complained Sam.

He launched into some explanation about calming thoughts and avoiding images. I was too irritated to listen really. I caught something about 'thinking about the cliffs'. So I started to think of the cliffs, the waves, the wind. I thought of the wind and how it blew her hair went we sat on the cliffs, how she tilted her face up to catch the sun when the rays broke through the clouds. I thought about how she would push her hair back from her face….

"Oh God we get it already! Get over the crazy leech lover!" Paul cut in, his angry voice slicing through my beautiful pictures.

I turned and snapped angrily at him. I was sick of his comments, I sick of all of this. I didn't ask for any of this and I hated it for keeping me away from Bella. As I thought her name my mind drifted back to my garage, how she would sit with me for hours, wonderful hours…

"Argh! Just go for a run, even I can't stand this" Sam snapped inside my head.

And with that he shoved us off, challenging each of us to see who was faster. This was the only bit I did like, the running. I would do this for ever, just keep going and going.

Suddenly I felt Paul's alarm, then Jared. I charged over to where they had skidded to a halt, Sam following behind me. What was that smell? I started to gag. It was like rotten candy-floss or something.

"Leech" the three voices swam together in my mind.

I hadn't encountered any since I phased so the smell didn't make much sense to me. When I had run into the leech at Bella's prom he didn't smell like this. Sam's voice cut into my head while we followed the trail explaining about how they smelt to us now. We were all on full alert now, zipping and charging through the forest, focused single-mindedly on catching this leech.

We were nearing a break in the trees when Sam's Alpha command ripped through my body "WAIT!'

This was what I despised the most, this feeling of submission. First he locked my mouth – binding me from speaking to Bella, now he was locking my body. I literally couldn't move and at that moment all the hatred I had for the situation, for being without Bella, poured into Sam's mind and he winced. He cocked his head towards the clearing as I heard the most disgusting sound.

"Isabella", I could hear the lust, thick in his voice and every muscle in my body contracted in hatred of him, whoever he was.

"She knows him, it might be another Cullen. We have to consider the treaty." Sam's will over-ruled my body again.

I felt like my eyes were being tortured as I was forced to watch. He approached her like a lover. My Bella, my beautiful, crazy, broken Bella, lying almost on her back as this leech crawled between her legs. Sickness rose in my throat as he started to touch her face.

I shouted at Sam "If you make me watch her have sex with some leech I will burn your house down!"

The leech brushed her hair back. He was touching her neck, moving on to her. I'm going to be sick. I need to kill him.

"She's mine" I roared inside my paralyzed body.

Then in a heartbeat everything changed. She was shouting at him, pushing him away from her. I felt my body unlock as Sam eased the command and we all moved forward in unison.

He wouldn't let us run, but at least we could move. The leech sensed us and snapped his head up. Then we could see it, all that we needed. I heard Paul shouting "Red eyes, red eyes", Sam released him and Jared and they tore after him. This obviously wasn't a Cullen. I went to break in to the run but my body wasn't fully released.

"What the..?" I shouted

"You need to check her - for bites. If she's bitten this could get difficult" Sam ordered.

Difficult?...Difficult? This is Bella, not some random hiker! I moved towards her not wanting to look. I knew if she was bitten it would kill me inside. I could hear her heartbeat pounding and I wanted to scream at her, to demand to know what the hell she was doing putting herself in danger like this. I started by her feet not wanting to see her face until I was sure. I could smell blood but I couldn't work out where it was from.

"She's hurt her knees and stuff, don't worry about that, check her neck" Sam snapped in my head.

I nudged her hair out of the way with my nose and sniffed around.

"She's clean" I said to Sam and with that he shot off after Jared and Paul.

I stopped. I could see she was looking down, her heart pounding and her breathing shallow. She was probably disgusted by me, or terrified of me. Whatever it was she would hate me. I'm not all sleek, deathly pale and ice cold like the undead vamp who was just copping a feel of her. I'm just a big stupid animal that is forbidden to talk to her.

I moved my paws back being careful not to hurt her. I just needed to see her one last time, see those beautiful eyes once more, before I lost her forever.

I looked at her eyes just as she looked at me and it felt like a lightning bolt had been shot right through my heart.

I could barely remember my name, my age, anything it was just Bella, Bella, Bella taking over my mind.

Bella holding my hand, Bella waking up beside me, Bella taking me as her husband, Bella cooking in the kitchen heavily pregnant, Bella reading on the sofa to beautiful children who looked like her and me together. Oh God I think I'm having a heart attack!

I saw as she raised a trembling hand towards me, and felt like heaven as she placed it on my fur. My whole body was quivering inside at the sensation of her small hand against me. If her hand feels like that what must her arms, her lips feel like? Oh God I could imagine her body pressed against mine, slick with sweat and passion.

The howl pierced my thoughts and Sam boomed in my head. "We're trying to chase down a leech and that distraction is not helping! Get down here now!".

The command ripped through me and I charged off down the hill, I didn't dare look back. I was desperate to hold that image in my mind forever – Bella, my beautiful Bella, looking at me with love in her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Meyer owns it all, I only get to borrow it for a little while.**

We ran for miles, forever chasing the disgusting leech scent. My mind kept playing over all the different ways I would destroy him, torture him for touching my Bella. However, after a while it became apparent that the evil little freak had managed to get away from us. Sam felt it was most likely he had taken to the water somewhere in order to get rid of his trail. I dropped to the floor, frustrated and angry. I really wanted to tear his head off.

We had found ourselves by a small stream and everyone stopped to get a drink. I still hadn't got the hang of drinking like this, in this form. The other guys lapped up the water easily but I struggled to get it into my mouth, so I just settled for sticking my face in the water and sucking up as much as I could. Whilst my face was in the water I was caught unawares as one of the guys crashed into my side, knocking me right into the stream.

"What the…" I shouted at Paul.

"Thought you might be needing to cool off after all those steamy ideas you were having about Bella". He laughed inside my head.

Jared chimed in "Yeah, imprint much did we? I thought mine was bad but no, you have to take it to a whole new level"

I turned to Sam "Was it that? Did I imprint on Bella? Is that what it feels like?"

He nodded, "I do wish I hadn't had to feel it first hand as that was quite strange feeling it for anyone but Emily, but there is no doubt about it. That was 100% imprint. Well, you are free to go and tell her everything now. My bind can't hold you against your imprint".

Paul laughed "Well at least she won't freak out over the whole turning into a wolf thing, like Kim did".

I could feel Jared's anger over this. Kim had been over the moon about the imprint as she'd been crushing on him forever, but she had taken the wolf thing badly and was still a bit edgy at times. This hurt Jared more than he was willing to admit.

I phased out and dragged on my shorts. I didn't want anyone else in my head whilst I was thinking right now. Sam phased too, and looked at me intently.

"Aren't you going to go to her, you've been bugging me for days, ever since you phased. I had to bind you to keep you away from her. Now you are free, completely free to go to her, to tell her everything and you are still standing here. What's going on?"

What was going on, why wasn't I running to her, charging through the forests to get back to her. What was holding me now if it wasn't Sam?

"When you imprinted, it was like this, this desire to be with her straight away, always, forever?" Sam nodded and waited for me to continue.

"And she loved you right back straight away?" He nodded again, as did Jared who had now phased and sat down with us.

"And you told her about the wolf and you phased and you showed her." Sam raised his eyebrows and looked intently whilst Jared winced slightly then nodded.

"Emily and Kim, they loved you straight away, so they tolerated the wolf, accepted it like some kind of side effect that comes with a medicine", I saw both of their eyes grow wide as they looked at me.

"What if that's how it works? What if they love what imprints on them, and they put up with the other half because they have to? What if I walk up to her, all full of myself and imprinty-like and she looks at me, at this", I gestured to my human form, "what if she looks and it's not there, the feeling is not there…what if she doesn't love this me, only the wolf me"

Sam looked shocked, Jared looked sick. I was on a roll now that Paul had gone. "Has it ever happened before, has anyone imprinted as a wolf?"

Sam shook his head, "The elders never spoke of such a thing, the stories they have told me have never mentioned it happening".

I was on my knees now, my hands at the sides of my head. I could feel tears in my eyes and I prayed that Paul wasn't coming back anytime soon. I had wanted Bella for so long, I had done everything I could think of to win her love. Now I'd been given the ultimate gift, she was my imprint. I rubbed my eyes furiously. It wasn't fair! None of this was fair! Why couldn't Sam have let me see her before, so I could have known if she loved me, this me.

I rolled back on my heels and stared at the sky taking a deep breath. I had accepted the little bits she had given me before, the little smiles, occasional touches, the things that no one else could get from her since that night in the woods. I had survived on those little glimmers of feelings for so long.

I turned to Jared "Would you risk it my brother, seeing how Kim felt about your other half?"

Jared stared at the ground for a long time and none of us spoke. Then he looked at me with such age and sadness in his eyes that he reminded me of one of the elders. "I never want to see that look in her eyes again when she looks at me. I'm so sorry, I wouldn't risk it".

Sam looked horrified. "You can't be serious, what if it's ok, what if everything is fine – you saw your future in your imprinting, you can't deny that".

"Sam, would you take a chance on a 'what if' again after…." I let my voice trail off. We had seen his memory, his guilt for his beautiful Emily too many times to speak of it out loud. The pain in his eyes was clear and he slowly, silently shook his head.

The moment had got so heavy, so tense that it was almost choking us.

"Guys" I said loudly, trying not to let my voice crack with pain. "Dudes, I'm not saying forever, I'm not saying never. I just need to get my head around this, OK?" Although inside my gut twisted and I was grateful they didn't have access to my thoughts then. How far was I prepared to go? What would I be willing to do to hold on to her love now I had it?

They looked up at me, both of their faces hazy with their own personal pain. I took a deep breath and forced on the breezy smile that I had perfected over the years, "I need some help, especially from you Sam". His face seemed to lighten at that. His burden was heavy and he carried it everyday without complaint.

"I need you to use your Alpha bind to keep Paul's mouth shut about this". Paul had a dark sense of humour and I couldn't trust him in his human form not to compromise me in some way.

"I'm still worried about this leech and how interested he was in Bella, can the others pick up the patrols around the res and I'll take the one's closer to Forks".

Jared smirked, his memories under control again "Closer to Bella you mean".

I gave him a cocky grin "Well, I didn't say anything about staying away from her in wolf form did I?" He nodded and phased back, heading off home.

I turned back to Sam. "I will bind him, he won't be happy but his mouth is too loose sometime, I'll bind them all to be sure. But Jake, seriously, think about it".

I grinned. "Thank you, look can you also get on to the Elders, I need to know if there is any history, any stories about this. There must be something those guys know. I don't want to sound like some kind of princess about this but it really has me freaked out". I grinned again, and stretched, silently praying that he wouldn't push the issue. The Elders didn't take to the likes of us, only to Sam. Even dad would wander off point and start some long old story if I tried to ask him anything straight-forward. Maybe there was a whole story about imprinting that no-one had got round to telling us yet.

Sam smiled "Don't worry. I'll get on it. Now, are you up for a race back, I still owe you for that comment about burning my house down. Not cool man, not cool".

I didn't even strip to phase. The shorts were getting a bit small anyway. Then we were hurtling back across state, back to my beautiful Bella.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but she understands that we all have imaginations.**

**[Bella POV]**

Charlie began turning a deep shade of purple. "Youwere here, alone, with a boy, in just this?"

The way he said it made it sound as if I was modelling something from the Victoria Secrets catalogue, when in fact it was just some sleep trousers and a vest top. Admittedly, a very light coloured vest top and I wasn't wearing a bra.

"Sorry Dad, I wasn't thinking, he... well...he just stopped by for brunch. I was cleaning...I forgot." I could barely form any word. My mind was too busy playing over and over what Harry had said, what Harry had done.

He knew my wolf, that was for sure, and my wolf knew him otherwise I don't think it would have ended up as smoothly. That growl had been ferocious until they'd stared at each other.

"Bella" my mind snapped back to my slightly less purple father. "Please go and get dressed and we will discuss this later".

Get dressed, right, upstairs. OK I can manage that. I crept upstairs and hung around at the top as Charlie and his friends came in. I could hear him still muttering away. Then it became a little clearer.

"Harry, tell me honestly, what did you see? They weren't kissing were they? Were his hands on her_?_"

"Easy there Chief, no kissing, no hands anywhere, seemed like they were reading a book that's all_. _Homework maybe?_" _Harry let out a little chuckle as he said 'hands' and I could feel myself getting cross that he was finding this funny. Ok, so he definitely knows what's going on then with these wolves. And more importantly, he knows my wolf.

The phone rang downstairs and I could hear Charlie banging around to answer it. He hollered up the stairs. "Angela says she finished early so she's ready whenever you are. Where are you going?"

"Just shopping for some new clothes and to drop some old ones off at goodwill" I hesitated and then added "Is that ok?" I wasn't sure if I might have just got myself grounded.

"Just girls?" Charlie asked. "Just girls" I confirmed.

He grunted and went back to his lunch, which I assumed meant everything was fine. Ok, so I needed to get to Angela's but that would mean I wouldn't get to speak to Harry now and I really wanted to find out what he knew about my wolf.

I dressed quickly and ran back down the stairs. All of them waved me off, but both Billy and Harry were smiling widely, while Charlie was still wearing quite a frown. They definitely knew, and I needed to find out what they knew. I almost missed Angela's house as I was so tied up in my thoughts about what to ask them and had to skid to a halt. Angela jumped in and pulled me into a quick hug.

"I am so pleased to see you" she beamed.

I had missed her. We chatted away as I drove, catching up on all the gossip. She brought me up to speed on who was dating who, the rumours that Lauren thought she might be pregnant, the fact that Tyler's dad had caught him and Eric raiding his liquor cabinet and Eric had thrown up all over the carpet. She explained exactly how many times Mike and Jessica had broken up and got back together again. I loved Angela for this, she knew that I'd been mentally absent and just filling me in without judging me, just as if I had returned from a long holiday. She also didn't ask any questions about me, something I was very grateful for at this precise moment.

After stopping off at the Goodwill, we got to the department store and began looking at clothes. I had some ideas of what I'd need and gathered up some likely suspects pretty quickly. Angela was more methodical, pouring through each rack in turn and this left me with plenty of time to think things over in my head.

Ok, let's start with the facts.

One: There was more than one of these wolves, I'd seen four, but who was I to know how many of them there were?

Two: Harry wasn't afraid of the wolf. He had been cautious with it, so he obviously knew how strong and fast it was, but he didn't seem afraid at all.

Three: Harry had spoken to it like it understood him and had called it 'Son' and a 'Quileute Boy'.

Four: Neither Harry nor Billy seemed bothered by the wolf being with me. Now Billy hadn't seen it but that smile the two had given me as I was leaving suggested they were both in on it.

Angela sought my attention, asking my opinions on some shoes she had found. After I had assured her that they suited her completely she continued her hunt.

Where was I? Ok, now Billy knew about mythical things, this I was fairly sure of, I mean after the way he had carried on over Edward, he definitely knew what the Cullens were.

Wait, Dad had said many of the Quileute stopped using the hospital because of Carlisle. So it would seem quite a few people must have an idea about vampires. What was it Jake had said about the 'Cold Ones', it was scary stories. But what was the rest?

Angela had completed her search and we both stumbled towards the checkout with quite a serious collection of clothing. Luckily most of mine was inexpensive so the total wasn't too horrific. I pulled out my chequebook and paid for the items. As I went to put it away I noticed that it had been doodled on the back. Then I remembered the day Jake and I had spent getting parts for the bikes and the smiley faces he had drawn on it, one for each part we had successfully got. I did miss him so. I took a deep breath and gathered up my bags. Angela and I both agreed that we had spent too much to be able to splash for dinner out, so we agreed to head back to hers for some sandwiches or pasta, whatever we could rustle up.

We sat comfortably, munching away on our food watching some silly soap opera and laughing at the storylines. My mind began to drift back to the beach when Jake had told me about the stories. He had definitely mentioned wolves in it, but I hadn't really registered that bit as I was so focussed on finding out what Edward was. I think it was something to do with being descended from wolves. But what did that mean, were the Quileute 'Wolf-People' or something.

"Wolf people" I must have said it out loud as Angela looked up.

"Sorry did you say wolf-people, you mean werewolves, no I don't this soap would stretch it that far" She laughed and turned back to the TV.

Hold on...did she just say werewolves? That would be what a wolf person was wouldn't it, a werewolf. Oh Bella, what have you done, as if a vampire ex-boyfriend wasn't weird enough, you're crushing on a werewolf, you've got to be kidding me!

Part of me was slightly relieved though, I mean at least werewolves are people some of the time. If this had been like an all-of-the-time animal thing, well that would have made how I was feeling more than a little bit... well... icky.

Ok, so my wolf is a person, that's cool. It was a he person as well, that's what Harry had called it 'Son' and 'Boy' so that's good, I don't need to worry about my sexuality, just my sanity of course. Wait, son, boy – that also meant he was younger, hopefully around my age. It would have been really awkward it had been like one of Harry's friends or something, someone Charlie's age, yuck. Ok, so that just leaves me with one big question. Who is he when he's not my wolf?

I left Angela's and headed for home. I briefly considered heading down to the Clearwater's in order to try and confront Harry about the identity of my wolf. But it occurred to me that I really didn't know very much about La Push. I had spent a lot of time down there when I was little and then recently, but there were only a few people I knew now – Billy, Harry and of course Jake. There was Embry and Quil as well but I had only met them in passing when with Jake. I mean in all honesty, perhaps they were all werewolves and maybe not all werewolves were nice, a bit like with vampires. My wolf definitely seemed to be the equivalent of the vegetarian vampires but perhaps there were some who were the equivalent of James and Laurent. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to be wandering around there in the evening until I was a bit clearer about what was going on.

As I opened the door I could hear Charlie watching the TV. He cleared his throat and I suddenly remembered his comment from earlier about my 'guest'. Colour rushed to my cheeks as he got up from his chair.

"Bella, I think we need to talk_", _he mumbled, clearly uncomfortable at being put in the position of having the second conversation about me in as many days.

"Dad, I'm so sorry I embarrassed you today. It really was completely innocent. I hadn't even realised that I wasn't dressed". I rambled,

Please don't ask me any questions. Please don't ask me any questions. I'm such a terrible liar and I hate having to create stories to explain things that I really can't.

"Are you going to tell me who this boyfriend of yours is, and explain why he didn't have the decency to stand up and introduce himself to your father?_" _

Charlie seemed quite put out and once again the differences between him and Renee were loud and clear. Renee was so modern and unconventional that I had grown up without having to consider these sorts of conditions. But Charlie was made from completely different material. Of course when Edward was around, he had been able to meet Charlie's old-fashioned principles without issue, probably because he was born when those principles were considered modern and unconventional. However now, with no guidance, I was stumbling into the whole parent-child-dating nightmare triangle blind and confused.

"It not a boyfriend thing, we're just hanging out, getting to know each other. I haven't said anything because there is nothing to say. And he didn't stay because Harry told him to go home and Harry is on the Council and so he respected that and left without saying a word". The words came tumbling out without pause and I scanned back through them, content that there wasn't actually a lie in there.

Charlie seemed to consider this and went back to his chair. He sat back down and I let go of the breath that I was holding, relieved that I seemed to be in the clear. I put my foot on the step ready to beat my retreat when he spoke again "Bella, I want to know who his parents are. Just to be on the safe side. OK?_"_

I faltered, my other foot catching the step and my bags slipping from hands as I stumbled forwards. Charlie jumped up to help me as various bags and items crashed down around me. I really was a walking disaster. However for once this seemed to work in my favour as after carrying the bags up the stairs for me, Charlie went back to his game without any further comment.

I was dying to go outside and see if my wolf was there but the fear of reminding Charlie that I hadn't answered his question held me in place. I settled for turning on the computer and writing a long email to Renee, describing in detail everything I had bought today. I also mentioned the plane tickets and asked her to let me know when might be a good time. I busied myself putting my new clothes away and was surprised when the computer pinged for my attention. Renee had replied immediately asking if I could visit as soon as possible, gushing with emotion as she went on about how much she missed me. A wave of sadness washed over me as I got into bed, remembering how close we used to be. Renee really didn't fit into my life anymore since I had moved to Forks, my involvement with vampires and werewolves leaving little time for her anymore.

I woke up in the morning and looked out the window. It was a bright day and I renewed my resolve to confront Harry today. After a warming shower, I dressed in one of the new tops I had bought, teaming it with a pair of slightly fitted jeans. The top was not garish but was a brighter shade of blue then I would normally opt for and I was pleased with the result, in fact I think it would even pass Alice's critical eye. I headed downstairs and quickly made some toast.

My truck grumbled louder than usual as I drove down to La Push. It was possible that the run to Port Angeles with Angela had been a bit more than it was comfortable with. I wished Jake was around to take a look at it. I pondered for a moment at the turning, left would take me to the Clearwater's, but right would take me down to Jake's. I knew he was avoiding me, but I could always offer to pay him for fixing my truck, and then he wouldn't really have any excuse to refuse to talk to me. Another truck appeared behind me and honked at my indecision. Before I had even realised what I was doing, I had turned to the right and was heading down the familiar road to Jake's house.

As I pulled up noisily outside I could hear shouting and the sound of things being thrown around in the garage. I leapt from the truck, slamming the door and ran to the source of the sound. Before I could step in, I was falling backwards to the floor having connected with a huge, semi-naked body. I looked up a long long way. This guy was seriously tall. Then a sense of recognition hit me.

"Quil?"

"Bella, are you ok, I'm so sorry, you just surprised us...er...me_"_, he said remorsefully, helping me up off the ground.

"It's ok. I often manage to fall down without any help anyway. Wow, you had some serious growth spurt". He stood up straighter and flexed his muscles proudly with a wide grin on his face. He really was looking good, he seemed to have grown at least 2ft and put on quite a bit of muscle mass.

"Erm, so what brings you down here? Not that I mind a visit from a beautiful women like you Bella_." _My cheeks coloured at this and under his intent gaze.

"I went to Port Angeles yesterday and my truck has been making some grumbling noises since. I was kind of wondering if Jake could maybe have a look at it for me. Is he around?" I tried to peer round him into the garage but his huge frame blocked my view.

Quil shifted around and glanced over his shoulder. "He..umm...took off to get some parts. Maybe I can take a look at it? Did Jake tell you I'm good with engines_?"_

He motioned towards the truck and when I didn't move he snaked his arm round my shoulders and propelled me over to it. I was stunned by his confidence but also by how hot his arm felt against me. I stared up at him and pushed away, my head spinning with information. I recognised that heat. I stumbled back and he caught me by the elbow, a worried expression replacing his previous confident one.

"Bella, what's wrong?_"_ Quil's eyes were wide with concern.

"You're one of them aren't you?" I stated, my voice trembling as I spoke. His face was conflicted with emotion. I saw annoyance, confusion, surprise and pride mixed in together.

"How did you know?_"_ He seemed genuinely shocked. I gestured towards his arm, not trusting my voice to speak. The level of heat he gave off was far beyond that of a normal person, and it was the same warmth I had felt against me when I lay reading yesterday.

"I can't talk to you about this, you understand Bella? You know what it means to keep secrets don't you?_" _Quil looked at me so intently I felt his eyes boring into my soul. I still couldn't find my voice and so just nodded at him, my hands trembling.

"Jake and I will take a look at your truck. Can you get home ok from here? I'm sorry I can't talk to you more but I know you will understand that, won't you?_" _Quil seemed to be searching for some assurance that I wasn't going to freak out on him. I straightened myself up and pushed my head back trying to stand tall.

"That's fine, I understand" I answered in a clipped tone, I sounded like Charlie I thought to myself. But it was true, I did understand. I had kept secrets before, for Edward, for the Cullens. Even yesterday, talking to Charlie, I had prayed that Charlie wouldn't ask the questions I couldn't answer. I probably had a similar expression then as Quil did now. I nodded at him. Then I suddenly remembered something.

"Is my bike still here?"

I could walk to Harry's but given what I still needed to learn about werewolves, it wouldn't hurt to have some transport. Just in case some of them weren't as friendly. Quil nodded and rushed down to the garage. I noticed that he hadn't bothered to conceal his speed as he went. It wasn't vampire fast, but it was definitely faster than normal. He trusted me with the secret and I wouldn't betray that. He came back lifting the bike easily and set it in front of me. I would prove that he could trust me.

"Quil" I spoke softly, and he turned his face to mine with a look of concern, I could see he was fearful of what I would say next.

"Can you tell ...him...I said hi?" I didn't look at him as I spoke, not wanting my eyes to betray the thousands of questions that were threatening to spill out of me.

He rubbed my shoulder and touched my chin, lifting my face so I was looking at him. _"_I'll pass it on_". _He said softly.

"And Jake too – let him know I'll pay him for the truck if he wants". We both smiled and he pulled me into a hug, whispering into my ear. "We both know Jake will never take your money_"._

I let him go then, not trusting myself not to go any longer without asking questions. I would save them for Harry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, even though I asked Santa for it!**

I kick-started the bike after a few attempts and started down the road to the Clearwater's. I was a bit wobbly along the way, and I prayed that Charlie wouldn't catch sight of me. That would lead to yet another uncomfortable conversation. I hadn't made it back as far the turning when out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of brown rushing past me.

It...he...my wolf stopped by the side of the road some way in front of me. I wobbled to a stop and he put a paw up on the handlebars to steady it as I climbed off. I had to raise my eyebrows as he used his paw to flick down the stand. He moved away in the direction of the trees and looked back at me. I had already worked out that he wanted me to follow him and trotted off after him as if this was a perfectly normal occurrence. Well normal in Bella's life anyway.

Once we were safely within the tree line, he paused and turned round to me. I could see that his coat was now quite different, where previously it had hung long, almost touching the ground, it was now clipped and short, as if he had been to the barbers. 'Ha wolf barbers' I snorted to myself. He tilted his head as if enquiring and I straightened my face as I replied. "You cut your fur". He huffed in response, which was what I had previously decided was a 'yes'. I felt confident now, eager even.

"Well go on then" I urged, once again his head tilted as seeking clarification. "You can change now, I understand, I get it ok, you don't need to hide anymore". He didn't move.

I made a spinning around gesture. "You know, the whole, you're a werewolf, it's a big secret, don't let the outsiders know sort of thing – I get it, it's ok. You don't have to worry. You can change now, I'm absolutely fine with the whole thing. I won't tell anyone – you can trust me". I folded my arms and waited for the big 'shazam' here I am as a guy transformation.

He looked to the floor and then looked up at me again. My confidence started to fade, and my voice started to tremble "Don't you...don't you trust me..." I trailed off. He rushed towards me and buried his head in my hair, pushing the side of my face against his fur.

God it felt so good, so right to have him close to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, rubbing my face against the soft smooth fur. I could feel his warmth pouring into my body and the electricity made my skin tingle. I could feel me loosing myself as the feelings took over my body. I imagined being safe and warm like this for the rest of my life, feeling loved and adored.

My mind broke through the warmth though – presenting me with glaring images – me being kissed by a faceless man, waking up next to a faceless man, me cooking in a kitchen with a swollen belly looking up as a faceless man entered the room, I began to shake as the image of faceless children danced through my mind.

I released my arms and pushed his head away from mine. "This isn't right. I need to know who you are", my voice was trembling as much as my body was. "I feel like I'm falling in love with you and I don't even know who you are. You need to show me. Now" I stood up, my hands on my hips for emphasis.

My wolf let out a long low whine that sounded like pain. Then he tried to nuzzle back into me again. I stepped back and promptly stumbled, I could see him move towards me and I put my hands out in front of me.

"No! Don't touch me. You don't get to be in control of this. Do you understand? This is my life which I am willing to share with you on an equal basis. You show me who you are and we move forward with this. You don't want to trust me, want to keep me in one particular box – just for your wolf side, well good luck with that. I'll have you know that other people trust me with their secrets, even your own Quil trusts me. So there."

I was in full flow now, my indignation taking over now. I was utterly fearless of the danger that angering a giant wolf might pose me.

"You know what, whatever the reason is that you don't want to show me who you are – you don't trust me, you've got a girlfriend already, you're married – whatever, you can take it and shove it. Go and chew on a bone with your wolf boys and when you've grown up enough to come and face me as a man, look me up. Until then, leave me, my house and my life the hell alone!"

I turned on my heel and stomped off to my bike. I didn't dare look back, my resolve was already weakening, I could hear the howl as I climbed onto the bike and I wanted nothing more than to run and comfort him, but I stood firm and kept myself in check.

It was about time that the world realised that Bella Swan isn't a fragile little doll that people get to play with. There had been too much of that with Edward I had come to realise, it was always his way – no negotiations. I wasn't going to go down that path again. It didn't have to be 'my way', hell I'm not even sure what my way is. But it needed to be 'our' way.

My heart was hurting me, the desire to wrap my arms around him again and tell him I didn't care was bubbling to the surface. No, my heart has hurt me before and I'm still here. Don't get me wrong I wanted him so badly I was shaking but this needed to be done right and the only way that was going to happen is if I knew who he was. He need to face me as an equal and love me like I deserved to be loved, without conditions and restrictions.

I made my way down the road to the Clearwater's without looking back. I pulled up by their drive and tried to get the stand to come down myself but it was just too hard, and the bike kept threatening to tip over on me. Stupid not-having-werewolf-or-even-regular-person strength I huffed to myself. So I clambered off and laid it down on its side out of the way, giving it a little kick with my foot to show it that I wasn't impressed that it wasn't helping.

I took in a deep breath and walked up to the front door. It was answered straight away by a sweet looking lady who looked at me quizzically. I realised I was still trembling from my argument and part of me wanted to spin on my heel and run for the trees, but I needed to know this. I had to know this. If I could get his name from Harry then I just turn up at his house, surprise him. Then if it was about the trust thing – well that would be taken care of and if was a girlfriend, or a wife even – my mouth went dry and my stomach churned at the thought – well I would just walk away, head held high and stick a big 'Wolves not welcome' sign at the back of my house.

"Hi I'm Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter". I had come to the conclusion that figuring this out was all in the temperature. Freezing cold and you are a vampire, super hot and you are a werewolf, So I stuck my hand out in greeting, might as well start trying to get this sorted. She took my hand raising her eyebrows slightly "Hi I'm Sue Clearwater". Ok, she's just normal, about the same temperature as me. There was nothing out of the ordinary here.

"Is Harry home?" I asked politely. She smiled apologetically and explained that he was at a council meeting. She invited me in and showed me to the kitchen, encouraging me to make myself at home. As I poured myself a glass of juice a stunning young woman walked into the kitchen through the back door. She was really tall and very well-built, with toned muscles that made her look like some kind of athlete, she was wearing a very simple dress yet against her physique it looked amazing, similar to the effect Rosalie had but with a different skin tone.

Oh God, I thought suddenly, what if his girlfriend looked like this? What if she was his girlfriend? I can't compete. Who am I kidding? What was it with this place and all these beautiful women, how was a normal girl supposed to hold on to a shred of self-confidence? Her eyes were hard as she took me in, and she seemed the type of person you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of. Suddenly she burst out laughing. She stuck her hand out to me. I grasped it, still trying to work out why she was laughing, then gasped as I realised how hot she was.

She laughed again "I thought that would cut several minutes off the explanations. I caught you checking my mum's temperature. I'm Leah Clearwater by the way_"._

I nodded silently, not quite sure of what to say next. Suddenly she was laughing again. "I'm sorry_",_ she said, in between snorts.

"It's just...oh man sorry...I'll get myself under control in a minute...just 'Chew on a bone'...that was just soooo perfect. It was brilliant, they're all so full of themselves and then you come along...Chew on a bone...he didn't take that well!_" _She snorted again and covered her mouth.

I gasped, "You heard all that", my cheeks coloured with embarrassment. She tapped the side of her head. "When you're...you know...it's all linked up...everyone is inside each other's head. It was as if you were just cussing me out. It was sooo funny_". _She collapsed into the seat next to me grabbing a juice of her own.

"Leah, can I ask you something?" She shrugged but looked interested. "I mean I was mad at him but then I just thought about something, what if it's not his fault?" She raised her eyebrows sarcastically but waited for me to continue. I lowered my voice "Does my wolf have a problem? I mean is his 'changing' broken or something?"

Leah choked, then spat out a mouthful of juice across the table as she burst out laughing. "You mean have you got a defective wolf? That is even more brilliant. I almost want to phase just to rub that in. Wow, I get the feeling I am really going to enjoy having you around. 'Broken', ha ha...wait until the 'defective wolf' challenges me to a race, I'm so going to tattoo that on his behind. But seriously, nah, his 'changing' isn't broken...it's just his mind that's a bit defective._" _

She paused, and I sucked in my breath, waiting to see if she would give me the answer I was craving. _"_It's well...it's.._" _her voice trailed off and she frowned as if concentrating really hard.

"Are you ok?" I asked. "Yeah, it's these stupid rules, ...the leader...he has this power to kind of control what you do and what you say to a degree. But I've been working it out, trying to find the loopholes._"_

"Is that what Quil meant about 'couldn't' talk to me" I stressed the word for emphasis.

"Exactly, but what I realised... I don't know if you know, but I'm the only girl in all of this. Anyway, it's as if the rules are written around guys, the way they think and respond to things. Blah blah blah, so we were out one day running around and ...he's all like 'HALT!', I mean call me Fido and put me on a leash why don't you. So I look around and all the guys are totally paralysed_". _She mimed an exaggerated 'frozen' stance.

"So I get to thinking, maybe I can't go forward, but what if I can do something else instead? So I tried rolling over and going to sleep. The rest of them were not impressed I can tell you. So I made it my mission to be the regular pain in the butt. It works the same with the talking thing. The leader will say 'Carrot is a forbidden word' and the guys just have to follow it, even if they really want to ask for a carrot. But me, I'm all 'Mr Shop Man, I would like to purchase 20 of your finest orange vegetables that rabbits are particularly fond of'. Do you see?_"_ She looked at me to see if I was keeping up with her, so I nodded reassuringly, not wanting to interrupt her flow.

"It's the same with this, everything YOU want to know is like forbidden in here_"_ she tapped her head_, "_but give me enough time and I'll work a way round it, so you'll have to forgive me if sometimes I sound like I have a speech impediment, I just have to try different words and combinations until I can get one through the bind_"._

I smiled warmly at her. "You're the only girl. That must be really awful, but hey it sounds like you're using it to your advantage".

"You have to make your own fun when you're all on your lonesome_"_ she shrugged.

"But there must be other girls on the res you can talk to right?" I was quite horrified at the thought of her dealing with all of this on her own.

"Well Bella, I don't know how it is for you but here on the res life is pretty straight-forward for a girl, you are either content with life – get married, have babies, bake cookies and raise the next generation or you want to see the big wide world and find your place in it, so you head off into the horizon like my best friend Rach, Billy's daughter – you remember? And you never look back. And then there is Leah. I mean, can you really see me trading apple pie recipes and darning socks? The girls who are 'in the know' definitely fall in the baking cookies category and as for seeing the world – I've never got further than Seattle!_"_

Leah had remained stone-faced throughout this, cracking the occasional smile, but I could tell she wasn't looking for sympathy with what she was saying, so I didn't offer her any. I remembered the 'sympathy' that Jessica used to dish out after Edward left and shuddered at the memory. "So are you prevented from leaving the res then?" I asked.

"Pretty much, you're tied to it, bound by the need to protect the people_"_ She added a stern mysterious tone to the end of the statement, suggesting that was how it had been explained to her. My crazy brain suddenly caught the reference and I replied to her in the same tone "Luke, I am your father, let the force be with you". She let out a howl of laughter and tears ran down her face.

"That's it...you're right...the whole time they were talking it kept triggering some kind of association in my brain but I couldn't put my finger on it. But you are so right._"_ She stopped for a moment, looking in to space. I guessed she wanted to cut to the chase and tell me who he was but it seemed like the 'thought control' was wrapped pretty tightly around her.

As Leah thought on, I reflected on what she had said about protecting the people. Well this would suggest that all the werewolves were good people, one less thing to worry about. I thought about Leah and her situation, and realised that if I had gone through with my whole quest to be a vampire I would have been stuck with a similar life, or death, or 'un'life...whatever, only being able to be in specific places, not allowed to have friends who didn't know the secret. At least I would have had Esme, Alice and Rosalie. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to have your whole life limited in such a way, without even a like-minded girlfriend to complain to.

Suddenly my mind began whirling with an idea. "Leah, you are a 'protector of the people', do I count as one of 'the people' or is it only those from the res?"

Leah smiled "Oh no, you sit pretty high on the protection list, between the horny leech and ... the defective wolf...you're a priority case_"_. She chuckled to herself, I guess she was prevented from saying his name so she was quite content with her new substitute. It must be a real handful having her inside your head.

"So, if I was to maybe to take an all expenses paid trip to Jacksonville, it could be considered your duty to take the spare ticket and join me, on the basis of protecting me from all things evil and nasty".

Her eyes grew huge, almost bugging out of her head. "Are you for real?" she asked in disbelief. "Did I just tell a giant werewolf to shove it?" I replied casually shrugging my shoulders. She grabbed my hand pulling me up from my seat "Bella, I think I might just be in love with you too_"_.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Twilight is a beautiful world that is SM's home only. We are just visitors.**

We rushed upstairs to Leah's room giggling like schoolgirls, passing her mum on the stairs. Sue raised her eyebrows at Leah's laughter and looked very relieved. I started to realise that there seemed to be a lot more to Leah's story than just being a wolf and wondered if she'd trust me enough to tell it to me one day. As we sat down on her bed she began to breathe excitedly.

"You realise we don't have much time, if you are serious, if we're going to make this happen? Once I know something I can only keep it private until I have to ...you know change... As soon as I phase they'll know. Trust me on this one, they are not going to want you on a plane, or anywhere out of their sight and they'll probably bind me so even if I wanted to go I couldn't._"_ she whispered as if we could be overheard at any minute.

The energy and excitement of doing something spontaneous was making me feel almost dizzy. But on top of that there was a sense of outrage, so now not only was my wolf not going to trust me with his secret identity, he was also going to try to stop me going to visit my own mother? I do not think so! The new improved Bella Swan makes her own decisions thank you very much.

"Well you'd better pack quick then!" I whispered back. Her eyes grew wide as she grabbed a bag and started tossing random things into it. For a moment I sped back in time to the night I stood in my room throwing things in a bag to escape from James, I remembered the fear and the urgency then. And my heart quickened its beats as I rubbed the scar that he had left me with. I remembered the drama that played out as I tried to leave that time and the terrible things I had said to Charlie. Oh no, Charlie.

"Leah, what am I going to say to Charlie_?"_ I could not say those terrible bitter things to him again, yet I wasn't sure after the last few days if an impromptu trip would go down very well with him.

"Leave Charlie to me, you need to learn a thing or two about father-daughter relationships_"_. I flinched, I knew she didn't mean it to sound harsh but she hit a nerve. I had very little idea how to handle Charlie, apart from cooking him a good meal and leaving him to enjoy his sports and fishing. I didn't actually know how to interact with him particularly, much less get him to agree to this trip.

We crashed back down the stairs and Leah gave her mum a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to head off with Bella for a while...you know..bit of space from everything_"_.

Her mum simply nodded and I noticed the sadness in her eyes. _"_Be safe love, and take good care of Bella" she smiled at me and nodded again, returning to her cooking.

As we headed out I heard Leah muttering "Apple pies, always apple pies_"_. I guess her mum was one of the 'in the know' ones.

As we barrelled out of the door Leah's eyebrows raised as she took in my bike. _"_You mind if I drive, I'll get us there quicker?_"_

I shrugged and she handed me her bag which I slung round my shoulders. I scrambled on behind her and she made the bike roar to life. Wow, it had never sounded like that when I was driving. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, I hoped she didn't mind but I had a feeling that this ride was going to be a lot faster than I was used to.

We tore through the streets and I kept my eyes closed for fear of losing my breakfast. Leah drove like a natural but not like an idiot so I felt safe with her in control.

As we rode on I lifted my head and called over the wind "Leah, you've been inside his mind right?" I felt her nod in acknowledgement.

"What's it like in there?" I wondered what sort of things he thought of, what were his hobbies that sort of thing.

After some time she answered and her tone surprised me, we had just pulled up to a stop light and there was no wind around us now. She spoke so softly I barely heard her "It's full of you...it's actually quite beautiful". Then the light changed and she roared away loudly.

As we got to the house my heart sank as I saw Charlie's cruiser parked up, he had obviously popped home for lunch, or to check that I wasn't entertaining the neighbourhood in my nightwear again.

As we got off the bike, Leah turned around and appeared to be sniffing the air. "The last patrol went through about 15 minutes ago, that gives us around an hour before the next pass_"._

This was meaningless to me but I nodded to Leah seriously. However my mind was focussed on the roadblock labelled 'Charlie' that stood in our path. Leah pulled me into the house whispering about following her lead.

Charlie was standing in the kitchen and looked shocked as Leah strode in. "Leah, is everything ok? Is your Dad alright?_"_

"Oh Chief Swan!_"_ she wailed dramatically and I looked at her in alarm and she dropped onto the couch virtually dragging Charlie with her.

_"_Can you arrest someone for breaking your heart, I mean surely there must be a law against grievous emotional harm_"_. Leah continued to wail.

Charlie looked terrified, I mean absolutely awful, as if he wished the floor would fold up around him.

_"_What is it with boys? you're a man Chief Swan, why do you find it so hard to love someone who loves you?_"_ Leah looked him dead in the face.

Charlie had backed up against the arm of the couch trying to put as much distance as possible between him and Leah. But Leah moved forward, using up all of the space Charlie had created. _"_Bella was telling me that at least she can talk to her mom about boys, mine she doesn't want to know." Leah launched herself to her feet again and Charlie visibly flinched

"Bella said that we could see her mom for a couple of days – to talk and talk and talk and talk all about boys. She had these tickets, but she was too worried to use them, you know without appropriate adult supervision, but as I'm legally an adult now she said she felt more confident with the trip." Leah leaned forward, intently and I put my hand over my face to muffle the giggles as I looked at Charlie bewildered expression.

Leah dropped to her knees on the floor and grabbed Charlie's hands in hers "Think of it Chief Swan," she said wistfully, " we could sit and watch sad movies and have a good cry, and then sit in the sunshine and talk about all the heartache until it doesn't hurt anymore. You wouldn't mind if we did that would you Chief Swan?"

She moved suddenly again, squeezing herself right next to Charlie and leaning her head on his shoulder, still holding his hand. "Of course if you prefer I could just stay here with you and Bella for a few days, or maybe a bit longer. It would be like a long, long, long never-ending girlie sleepover party. What do you think Chief Swan, maybe you could join us for a movie night – have you seen Titanic? – it's so beautiful._"_ She stood up finally and came and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. We both looked in Charlie's direction, waiting patiently.

He stood, cleared his throat several times and then mumbled "Well, there's work...lots of work...night work...hiker problems...mom's are always better at this sort of thing...female things..got tickets already, good, good."

He paused and breathed deeply, shaking himself as if he had just woken from a nightmare. Then he nodded "Bit of space would be good, get some perspective, get away from these you girls want me to drive you to the airport?_"_

We nodded enthusiastically as he mumbled about waiting in the car. I laughed to myself – doesn't he even want to check the flight times? Leah had clearly hit the 'get them out of the house' button on the head. We rushed to my room and I handed Leah the papers so she could call the airline. "You know that was somewhat overdone? I mean you wouldn't need to lay it on that thick all the time – but you get the idea_." _She winked and ran down the stairs to make the call. It didn't take me long to get organised and then we were jumping into the cruiser and heading for the airport.

After a few minutes on the road Leah started playing with the radio. I flinched and saw Charlie do the same. I knew Leah had caught it as she moved around the dial until she got to a station playing dodgy seventies classics, she began belting out the lyrics and after some time her enthusiasm started to rub off on me and by the time we reached the airport we were loudly chorusing along to 'I will survive' complete with occasional additions from even Charlie himself.

We continued messing around and singing randomly throughout check in and boarding and I found myself laughing more than I had done in a very long time. It seemed like we both had a lot of steam to blow off. Once we were settled on the plane, I turned to Leah seriously and asked her to explain what was going on with me. "I mean, it feels like love, but that's just not possible, I haven't actually even met him, you know?"

"This is going to be a struggle so you'll need to bear with me. What you felt was a...a...connection. It had a name but I can't...you know...but its spiritual, it's like a decision that's out of your hands. The spirits look at the world and they say you and you belong together and that's it...it's absolute, nobody can stand in its way...not even if they love you._"_ She exhaled deeply, as if it had been hard to even get that much out.

"You lost someone to it didn't you? the spirits didn't choose it right for you did they?" Her eyebrows shot up and a harsh look appeared in her eyes. "I didn't mean to pry, it just seems like you're not really sold on the idea". I realised I'd probably got a step ahead of our growing friendship and quickly changed the subject "Oh look they've got snacks".

As we got off the plane all the passengers began filing through the security point. The queue was ridiculous and I was getting uncomfortable standing around. Leah held our spot while I made a dash to the bathroom. As I did the same for Leah the queue began to move forward and I quickly saw the reason for the delay.

The bulky security official was clearly having a power trip day and was making all of the female passengers empty their bags and asking all sorts of inane questions. I blushed and stumbled as he unpacked my clothing, appearing to take far too much interest in the underwear. I wished that I had checked my bag into the hold, my face getting hotter as he eyed me up and down. He then moved round the counter as if he was going to carry out some kind of pat down search.

I was suddenly aware of Leah's presence and I felt the atmosphere shift as he moved closer to me. She was emitting a low growling sound only just loud enough for myself and the official to hear but its effect was truly unsettling, it crept like fear up my spine, alerting every nerve in my body. The official was clearly losing his confidence too and he began to retreat back round the counter. Leah's body moved gracefully closer to the counter, like a predator stalking prey, the ominous growl becoming deeper and more fearsome as she moved. The official was sweating now, his huge hands trembling as he passed her the bag without question.

As she took it from she leaned in close and her teeth make a horrifying snapping sound next to his ear. He tumbled backwards over his chair and ran for the door marked 'staff only'. Leah spun on her heel, threw the bag over her shoulder and beamed me a warm smile as she linked arms with me and headed off. I shook my head in disbelief. Leah truly was a powerful creature.

We were clattering through the arrivals area, laughing to ourselves about the security when all of a sudden piercing cry of "Bella" cut through the hall. I spun around surprise and Leah was caught off guard and I heard a snarl rip from her lips as she tried to locate the source. I placed a calming hand on her arm as Renee flung herself into my embrace.

"Mum, what are you doing here? It was supposed to be a surprise. Did Charlie call you?" I was still trying to work out how she had known we were coming and managed to organise herself to get down here so quickly.

"Well, he had to. Apparently you young ladies are quite the talk of the town. He made it sound like half the neighbourhood had descended on the house demanding to know where you had gone. It got him a bit flustered so he called to make sure that you did actually come here and not headed off for some wild drunken escapade_"._ My eyes widened in alarm and I turned to look at Leah. She had the same look of shock on her face, we knew this might not go down particularly well with the werewolves, but for them to draw so much attention, this definitely seemed to be getting out of hand.

"Oh no, I should call him, he'll be worried. Do you have change for a payphone?" I looked at Renee, praying that she had some change on her. I needed to get to him quickly before he started imagining the worst. In Charlie's case, imagining the worst would probably involve would probably be sex, drugs and rock n roll, rather than werewolves, vampires and other such dramatics which were the staples of my existence now.

"Phil got me a new cell, you can use it in the car_", _Renee announced with a smile, and with that she locked arms with Leah and myself and dragged us out of the building, chattering animatedly about how pleased she was to see us and oblivious to the looks of concern that were flying between us. Once we were safely seated in the car I took a deep breath and punched the house number into the phone. It was answered on the first ring, not a good sign.

"Bella?" Charlie sounded panicked and fearful. I mustered up all the cheerfulness I could find and gave a breezy "Hey Dad, Renee said you called, she frightened the life out of us pouncing on us as we came through security!"

Charlie exhaled loudly and I could almost sense the tension easing from him as he took a breath.

He then sounded sheepish_ "_Sorry to spoil your surprise, it was just all that all this chaos kicked off and it got me all worried and stuff..." he trailed off, clearly uncomfortable that he had been caught thinking the worst of his daughter. I felt bad for him, and I was upset that they had made him feel like this.

"Dad, can you tell me what happened?" a plan suddenly began forming in my mind and I grabbed an old magazine from the seat pocket and motioned for Leah to give me a pen. She scrabbled in her bag then handed it over, looking at me with a bewildered expression. I twisted myself so she could see what I was writing then scribbled 'At Charlie's house' on a blank space on an advert. A mischievous smile crept across her face and she listened attentively.

"Well, I was just pulling up in the cruiser from dropping you girls off, when all of these ya-hoos start surrounding the car. So I climb out and try to find out what they are all jumping up and down about. All I'm hearing is loads of shouting of 'Bella' and 'Leah' and 'run away'. Anyway Sam Uley is in the middle of this trying to keep everyone under control"_._

I scratched 'Sam Uley' and 'keeping control' on the page.

"So I'm trying to hear what he's saying but that hot-head boy Paul is screaming and cussing up a storm about Leah_ "._

I added 'Paul' 'hot head' 'cussing Leah', to my list, a low growl came from Leah and I glanced over to check to see if Renee had noticed but she was too engrossed in trying to follow the navigation system's directions.

"Now this was upsetting young Seth, who was then starting to shout at Paul_"_

I wrote 'young Seth', 'upset at Paul' on the page. Leah shook her head and rested it against the window.

"Anyway, Sam's trying to calm the two of them down and I've got Jake almost having hysterics – carrying on about you having run away and pleading with me to make you come back_"._

"Wait, Jake came to the house?" I froze.

I tuned out everything around me – the hum of the air conditioning, the navigation commands, the sound of the freeway. My Jake was there, that meant...Oh God...my poor sweet Jake...not him too. I leaned back against the seat and raised my hand to my forehead. My head tried to filter through this information then I replayed the last time I saw him before he got sick...he got sick...the temperature...the heat...oh no! I felt the tears form then break free as they ran down my face. The realisation hit me hard and I felt the warmth as Leah's hand grasped mine.

He didn't abandon me, he hadn't grown tired of me. He had become a werewolf and had to stay away from me because of the secret. My heart swelled as I let the love I have for my best friend free from the chains I had bound it in to stop me from missing him so.

"Bella, are you still there?" Charlie's voice brought me back to reality. "Sorry dad, you just took me by surprise. Was he ok? I mean how was he?"

"To be honest Bella he didn't look so good, I'm not sure he is over that sickness, he was deadly pale and looked in a lot of pain. He was leaning on the two numb-nut friends of his a lot_"._

I added 'Jake' 'sick' and 'Quil and Embry' to my list.

"It all got so crazy I had to show them my gun you know and tell them to get the hell home and cool off, I can see why you girls needed a break if that's what those guys are like all the time, I need an Advil with the headache they've given me_"_.

I told Charlie to relax and watch some sports and he would feel better soon, then it suddenly occurred to me that he hadn't mentioned telling them where we were. "Dad, you did tell them we'd back home in a couple of days didn't you". I couldn't imagine why everything was getting so dramatic? I mean we weren't even talking about 72 hours, why was everyone so worried? Then Charlie's sentence explained it all.

"I didn't tell them a damn thing...with all that carry on I didn't think they deserved to know what you girls were doing. Let them think the worst, bunch of crazy kids!_"_

I said my goodbyes politely and hung up the phone still in shock. It seemed clear then that rather than appeasing a gang of angry werewolves, my father had inadvertently given them the impression that Leah and myself had run away. I looked at Leah sadly. We were in a whole heap of trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I am not SM, therefore I own none of Twilight.**

[Leah POV]

As we drove towards the house I was completely filled with remorse. Seriously Leah, yet again you've got the whole pack wound up. I hated that Charlie had got involved. He was quite an easy going guy and Dad thought really highly of him, even though he was an outsider.

I knew deep down I was going to have to bite the bullet and get this under control before it spoilt our whole time here. I don't even know how far away from home we are, I'm not sure if the connection will be strong enough, but I'll have to try, especially after Bella filled me in on what Charlie had done.

Of course the bunch of idiots would think we'd run away!

They knew how much I hated having their stupid guy perspectives dancing around inside my head. They knew I wanted out and away from the whole…imprint…thing, and I guess after the dressing down Bella gave 'the defective wolf' they'd got their panties in a twist and assumed she'd run too. I wasn't going to let that go, I don't think I'll ever call him by his real name again now.

She was priceless. It was funny because I thought I was going to hate her, I mean talk about getting into bed with the enemy. I wonder if she did? Urgh, gross, dead lover, that's just nasty.

But it's the way she thinks, she reminds me so much of Rach, coming out with the most random observations and the whole checking temperature thing. I mean how cool is that?

I loved the list of the pack she got from Charlie, it had almost everyone, I wonder where Jared had been, probably tied up with Kim. It's like he's joined at the hip. I really hope it helps us get this conversation out. Damn binding!

I just want to sit her down and say it all, and have them dance off into the sunset.

Well, I mean I do, but on the other hand it is really nice to have someone to talk to, what if once she knows she just vanishes away into happiness like everybody else.

I wonder if we'll still hang out once she doesn't need me anymore?

Stop being such a wimp! Get a grip! Can't let too much feeling out.

She shocked me on the plane when she clued in about how unimpressed I am with imprinting. I must be letting her get under my skin too much, but it's hard, she is just too much fun.

There is just something about her, she's not naïve – I mean she walks around in crazy land with leeches and wolves for friends like it is perfectly normal, but there is such an innocence to her, like she truly believes in people. She makes you feel like a better person when you make her smile.

I wish she'd imprinted with someone less dramatic.

I mean how cool would it have been if her and Seth had got together. She'd be like my wacky sister-in-law and we'd all stay happy ever after on the res.

We could hang out all the time whilst he was out running patrol or with the guys. We could do cool stuff like riding that bike, she looks like she likes to read - I couldn't believe it when I saw her room, all the books, which is brilliant. I mean maybe I could even have gone to college with her.

Ok Leah stop it…where did fantasy land come from? You barely know the girl and you're acting like she's your life-long best friend. And anyway, it wasn't Seth, so it doesn't matter.

Defective's always had a problem with me, not as bad as Paul but he's still not going to want to share her time with me, he'll say I'm some kind of bad influence on his precious Bella, especially after all of this.

We've arrived at her mom's place now. It's kinda cool, nothing too special but I think it's a rental.

I'm finding it a bit tricky with her mom, I mean she seems nice, but for years I have been over-hearing the conversations the 'grown-ups' have had about her and what she has done to Charlie comes to mind every time I look at her.

All the things I've heard my mom say flash through my mind - 'flighty', 'can't take care of her own child', 'irresponsible'. I don't won't to judge her, I mean didn't I…don't I want to escape from it all too?

But I just think – would Bella be who she was if her mom was a bit more grounded. Would she take life so strangely if her mom had been an adult, rather than an odd child-like parent?

I put my bag down and told Bella I was going to try to get stuff sorted and tapped my head. I think that's become our code now for the 'wolf mind'. She seemed really relieved.

She looks like she tries too hard to take care of everybody. I hated seeing her cry in the car, even though it was for a great reason, finally we might be a step closer. I almost wanted to scream 'And…." but settled for squeezing her hand instead.

I told her mom I was a runner and needed to get out and stretch out from the flight. I could see she was quite pleased at that. I don't think she's used to sharing Bella's attention.

I wonder how she'll cope once she has to share it with an imprint. Although I get the feeling she's hardly around much anymore…too busy with her boy-toy husband to give a damn about the daughter she stole from her father and then dumped back into the lap of a leech.

I took off then, trying to cool down, I could feel the tremble setting in, also trying to find a good spot to phase in.

The area is ok, nice enough but it's nothing like home. It's really urban and it's taking me a long time to find anywhere that's safe. There doesn't seem to be any wilderness around. You couldn't keep a pack of wolves here that's for sure.

I also noticed a lot of security cameras around. That could be a real problem, I need to make sure I don't get caught on tape, the Elders would probably kill me for that.

I followed signs to some Nature Center, but even that was didn't feel quite right. Everything around here was too 'created' there was nothing wild and it made me edgy.

I don't think I'm going to find the forest that I need and I can feel that twilight will be coming soon, I want to get back to Bella before it is dark.

I noticed some run down looking warehouse building and headed off in that direction. This was definitely on the right track. It was empty now as there was still light in the sky but I could tell it was hidden from normal passers-by as there were scents of a lot of bad things down here. It smelt of death and disease but nothing current, nothing fresh. I would hate to think of what goes on here after dark.

I found myself an area that didn't smell quite so bad up on one of the upper levels and began to strip down.

I hesitated, don't get me wrong I can take what the world throws at me, God knows it's been throwing buckets of it recently, but this time I knew their anger was going to be 100% focussed on me.

I took a deep breath and bent forward, willing the change.

I don't think I was even completely phased before the roar filled my head.

It was so loud and so powerful I felt like I was drowning.

Pain that wasn't mine ripped through my body until I was almost convulsing.

Despair, hopelessness, terror and fear tore through my mind swirling around me like a dark cloud that obscured all the light, all the hope in the world,

One singular sound echoed off every cell in my brain

**"**_**LEAHHHHHHH**__"_!

I phased out violently, turning and vomiting all over the floor.

I crashed to my knees panting and gasping as wave after wave of sickness took me.

I felt violated, unclean as if the mind that touched mine was on the brinks of insanity.

I thought I knew what pain was…I thought I understood despair…the images of my love walking away danced in front of me and stung but the agony was nothing compared with what I had just witnessed.

For the first time in my life I was truly and completely afraid.

Tears fell from my eyes as the horrifying truth sank in, that mind belonged to one of my brothers, one of my kin so traumatised that madness was close to claiming him.

I gritted my teeth, knowing that I had no option but to return, to try and bring peace to the situation. I sank back onto my heels and willed myself back in.

As I entered I could feel the presence of another, but the terrifying darkness was no longer present.

"LeeLee?" his voice sounded aged and exhausted and it stung my heart.

"LeeLee baby where are you? Are you ok?" each word sounded strained like it was taking all his effort to say them, he sounded so tired I didn't even object to him using the forbidden name, the name he wasn't allowed to call me anymore ever since…her.

"I'm fine, we're fine, I don't understand why everyone is going crazy, we just took a little trip, that's all, we came to see her mom".

I let all the images wash through my mind, the packing, the giggling, singing with Charlie in the cruiser.

I was trying to prove that there was nothing bad to this, nothing dramatic, no reason for all of this.

"Oh LeeLee, why didn't you tell someone? Why didn't you tell me? Do you know what's been going on here, do you have any idea of the panic you've caused".

The tone of this bugged me. I knew I was in the wrong but I don't need to be scolded like a school kid, especially not by him.

"Look, I phased to show you we are fine, not to beg for forgiveness. We took a trip, with her father's permission, to visit her mother, for 72 hours!" I was shouting now inside my head punching out every part of the sentence, this was all so unnecessary.

"Leah", oh great, the alpha tone is back, come to put the bad wolf in her place!

_"_Do you have any idea what imprinting does?_"_

Oh, no he didn't, he didn't go there; we are so not having this conversation. Of course I've seen what imprinting does, tearing apart everything you've built, everything you want; everything that's yours.

"Stop it Leah, now! I'm not talking about how it works, I talking about what it does. That hell you phased into, before I could pull him out so that I could talk to you - that is what imprinting does!_"_ He was angry now, and I could feel myself shaking as the memory of those feeling took me over.

What was he talking about…imprinting is all lovey-dovey hearts and flowers screw-the-people-who-already-loved-you stuff.

"I said stop! That hell is what I have spent the last two hours trying to coax our brother out of because he believes his imprint has abandoned him - that is what imprinting does. The pain of loss is like death of your soul, do you know that if the imprint of a wolf dies, he will die soon after? That being away from them destroys your ability to heal? Did you know that before you went on your merry girly trip? Did you care? Did you know I can't have anyone phase to patrol as I can barely keep him out of phase and they can't cope with the hell? Do you know that it is taking every part of my alpha strength just holding him in human form right now? Do you give a damn what you do to others…to me…or is this just your sick way at getting back at me?_"_

"Stop it! stop it!…you know I didn't know… you know I just wanted space…some time away that's all". I was crying now, desperation taking me over.

"LeeLee, don't cry don't…please…I'm sorry. I was just so afraid…for him…for you. Do you see now why there was no choice? The last words rasped out, as if the energy was literally being drained from his body.

I knew he was no longer talking about the trip and I realised that I had not paid attention to the information about imprinting. I had despised it so much I had closed my mind to it all.

I would never have wanted my love to hurt like this, this hell, this madness.

I let my feeling show, I didn't want to hide them anymore, I showed him the love I had for him that will never leave me, the trust I had in him as our leader, and then I showed him my desire to see him happy and free from pain, even if someone else was by his side.

The tension between us eased slowly as he took my new feelings in, and I felt him gain strength from it.

When he spoke now, he spoke as my Alpha, not as my lover "I'm going to pull him back in, it may be hard but I want you to show him what you showed me, show her happy, show her excited, her singing, her in her mother's arms. Let him see that she is happy and safe and hopefully it will bring him peace until you return. You will be bound to protect her and her safety will rest in your hands alone. We cannot get to you quickly enough to support you but I trust that you will make us proud of you. There will be no outrage towards you on your return, I will ensure it. Are you ready?_"_

I steeled myself for the nightmare and let my acceptance shine through.

I felt the darkness threaten to overwhelm me as he phased back in, the despair and panic shooting through my body as his mind touched mine.

I concentrated on the images, on the sounds of her laughter and forced it forward like a shield pushing back the pain and despair.

I flooded the space between us with the images of her smiling at her mother, singing with her father and felt the darkness retreating from my mind.

I pulled hardest on the memory of her in the car, tears rolling down her face as she smiled, with the writing on the magazine, focussing in on the words she had doodled after the phone call to Charlie ended, the words she hadn't even realised she had written.

I felt the calm wash over us all them, a peace and a quietness replacing everything.

I played the moment again, focussing my mind on the two words inside written inside the heart she had drawn, 'My Jake', and I barely heard the whisper as I phased back out…

"Thank you_"_


	10. Chapter 10

[Bella POV]

Renee and I were lounging on the sofa. She was filling in me on all of the latest news with Phil's team and everything that had been happening recently. The front door banged open loudly and Leah virtually tumbled in. I gasped out loud, she looked absolutely terrible. I could see straight away that she had been crying hard, her eyes were red and dried tracks were etched on her face. Renee launched herself up and grabbed Leah in a fierce hug. It was actually quite bizarre to watch, my tiny flimsy looking mom wrapped around Leah's tall, powerful physique, but in that moment, Renee looked the stronger of the two.

"Sweetheart, what on earth happened? Are you hurt?" Renee's concerned voice was tinged with fear and I exhaled loudly with relief when Leah quickly reassured her.

"No...I'm fine...not hurt...just...oh hell!" Leah crashed down onto the sofa after removing herself from Renee's tangled arms. She seemed uncomfortable around my mom, or perhaps it was just with the physical side of things.

"No, I called home, just to check on things, let them know we got here ok. But it got picked up by my...ex..., it got tense, stuff was said. It's just ...urgh.._._" the last word was lost to us as she buried her head in the arm of the couch.

She lifted her head a second later and looked straight at us. "But that's why we're here, get all this baggage, this guy stuff out of our systems!" She cracked a weak smile at Renee.

Renee was silent for a second. Then a wide smile formed on her face. I hadn't said a word since Leah came in, but I was suddenly more afraid of that smile, than anything the wolves could have said. That smile meant trouble - that was roller coaster Renee, sky-diving Renee, piercing of intimate body parts Renee.

"You know what you need, what you both need, a great night out, fun, music, boys, and …DANCING!" Renee squealed, jumping up and clapping her hands together.

She grabbed Leah's hands and tried to hoist her up. Leah gave in and rose to her feet. Then Renee began what I can only imagine was some sort of Salsa dancing, whooping and giggling. I swear all the colour must have drained out of my face. Not dancing, please not dancing, please Leah, please hate dancing too, please, please. But as I looked on in horror I realised that Leah was not going to be my saviour, she was now twirling and whirling with my mother, giggling and grinning. Oh God, I'm going dancing, how depressing!

I tried everything I could think of, I pointed out that we had no dressing up clothes with us, that Leah must too tired from her run. I even tried suggesting that I thought I might be coming down with flu. But it seemed that Leah and Renee had chosen that moment to become a united force of nature that now had swept me into Renee's bedroom where they were both rummaging through the wardrobes looking for suitable items that myself and Leah could borrow.

Oh Alice, come back, all is forgiven. I was lying on my back on Renee's bed, staring at the ceiling. I felt various items being held over my body, shoes being put on my feet and then I was hauled unceremoniously upright, man Leah was strong, and shoved into the bathroom for a shower.

As the hot water flowed over me, I steadied myself. Come on Bella, chin up, this is supposed to be the new, improved unselfish version of Bella. I mean, wasn't it great the way Leah's eyes lit up at the idea of going out dancing. And really and truly I didn't actually need to do any dancing. I could find a nice place to sit or even just stand and relax, hopefully if they were having enough fun, maybe they wouldn't even notice that I wasn't moving. Yeah, that would be ok. We would go out and they will dance and I will just, well I'll just be Bella. I headed back out to the bedroom, towelling off my hair as I went. I was actually kind of excited to see what had been chosen for me.

Leah took her turn in the shower next and Renee began fussing around with my hair. I just sat and let her play, smiling at the reflection in the mirror. I remembered how much she used to love styling my hair when I was little. I slipped into the outfit they had chosen for me and was surprised to find it was not too outrageous. I think Leah had been able to tone down my mom's eccentricity a lot. It was a simple summery style dress in a fire engine red, slightly gathered under the bust with little straps, it sat just above my knee and with my black ballet flats looked quite reasonable. I felt reassured and a lot calmer about the whole idea.

When Leah walked back in to the bedroom I almost fell off the bed. She had changed in the bathroom and was wearing a dress that I recognised as one of Renee's, but it had definitely not looked anything like this when Renee had worn it. It was a sea green, almost turquoise colour, and looked like it was made up of thousands of tiny sequins, against Leah's skin tone the contrast was amazing and the glittering nature of the sequins made her skin appear to shine. I remembered that it had made Renee look unwell which was why she had never actually worn it after getting it home from the shop, but on Leah, the colour made her look alive, radiant, vibrant even. On Renee that cut had been quite loose but due to Leah's build it looked as if it had been sprayed on, I mean it was seriously tight, but not in a nasty, trampy way, just as if it has been designed to mould exactly to every curve.

I must have left my mouth hanging open as Leah fixed me with a cheeky grin and raised an eyebrow "Too much?"

I shut my mouth with a snap and blushed. "No, not at all, it's just…wow…I mean seriously…you are going to knock them dead". Leah laughed and Renee headed off for her turn in the shower.

"I'm sorry, I mean you look great, I'm just…you know…I could never wear anything like that…I'd just look silly". I mumbled.

Leah cupped my face with her hand. "You have a beauty that is all your own, you look gorgeous, you have that perfectness, that take you home to meet his mother ness, that marry you and keep you safe for ever ness. I don't have that. I'm not that. We are different but both 'fabulous' in our own way 'darling'". She drawled out the last sentence like they do on those Top Model shows and I laughed.

"Are you sure you're ok?" I asked, serious now whilst Renee was gone.

"Yeah, I'm ok, I just need to blow off some serious steam. Things are a little tense at home, but should be cool while we're gone now. Like I said, just some heavy conversation with…the ex…that I wasn't quite ready for. But I understand things a bit better now. You know, when it ends, part of you gets it, part of you knows it's over. But there's that part that never truly accepts it, like there is still some chance that things will shift someway, like that day will come when he suddenly appears and just says out of the blue – I made a mistake, take me back. And you know it's crazy but you really hold onto that. It's like you're stuck, because that little bit of you just won't let go".

She took a long breath and I nodded, "It was the same for me, I knew he was gone, I could see he was gone, but I kept imagining, dreaming that he'd come back, save me, rescue me".

Leah squeezed my hand "Well today, that little part of me was forced to give up, to acknowledge that it really is never going to change, he's never coming back, that even if…and I sound so bad even saying this….she died or something, he would still never be mine again. And that hurt almost as much as when I first lost him, but as much as it hurts, I do finally feel free. Like nothing I do now is going to change the chance that he might come back, because there is no chance. It will just take me a little time to get it sorted out in my head, and in my heart. It's funny in some ways, I'm this great mythical protector, but I can't save myself." She gave me that weak smile again.

"I was lucky, he saved me from myself" Leah smiled warmly at this,

"Well, 'Defective' wasn't going to let some leech get freaky and then drain you, he's your…connection…he will protect you forever".

"No, not him, I mean Jake, Jake saved me from myself". Leah raised her eyebrows at this and then turned to get started on her make-up. I could swear the corners of her mouth were twitching as she tried to apply her lipstick. I guess she thought it was funny. I wonder why?


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I am not S. Meyer, so nothing belongs to me.**

I started to get a bit nervous on the way as I occurred to me that (a) I have never actually been to a bar (b) I'm pretty sure that I'm not legally allowed in a bar in this state (c) they might have some interstate police information network which would flash up on Charlie's system with bright red lights saying – 'Your underage daughter is in a bar' and (d) for some reason Renee's outfit involves her having a serious number of little ribbons in her hair and as she bobs about behind the steering wheel it is giving me chronic eye-strain. Coupled with the huge number of jangly bracelets she has on I'm finding the ensemble quite over-whelming.

We rolled in and apparently Renee is well known here so they've let me in under her supervision, although I have a big 'No alcohol' stamp on the back of my hand. Leah is already bobbing to the music and is attracting a lot of attention from the guys, although no one has yet had the nerve to make a move on her.

The bar is actually quite cool. It has a large dance floor and lots of little leaning tables with high stools dotted around it. This worked out quite perfectly as Leah and Renee took to the dance floor and I perched happily on my little stool. As long as I didn't move too much, there didn't seem to be much chance of me falling off. The dance floor filled up pretty quickly and soon I was quite relaxed, just watching everyone dancing happily and playing with the straw in my soda. The music was loud, at a volume where it makes it difficult to hear, so I was able to escape some attempts at conversation from people by shrugging my shoulders and going back to watching the dancing.

There was a break in the song and Leah wandered over, draining her water thirstily. I was not surprised she needed a drink, given that she hadn't stopped dancing since we got here. She leaned in close to my ear and shouted "You doing ok?"

"I'm good" I shouted back. "You dance really well". She nodded.

"They make us learn really young, everyone on the res, it's in our blood_"_. Another song started up with a thumping beat and she bounced back onto the dance floor.

I sat there watching her. The song that was playing sounded almost tribal. I couldn't make much of it out, something about 'transform you' and I suddenly snorted with laughter, thinking about how appropriate the song was for Leah, after all surely turning into a wolf counted as 'transforming'.

As I laughed I managed to knock my soda over and I almost tumbled off the stool as I tried to dodge the dripping mess. A guy from a nearby table headed over and helped me to my feet. He disappeared, then turned up again with a cloth and got the spill under control. I smiled and nodded my head, not wanting to start a conversation but not wanting to be impolite either. I managed to get myself seated back on the stool and as I did so the guy reappeared again, with a drink in his hand. I shook my head and pointed to the stamp on the back of my hand. He leaned in close and shouted "It's just a Coke" before smiling and heading back to his table.

I turned back to the dancing and watched Leah as she enjoyed herself. Several of the guys seemed to have found the courage to dance near to her and she was artfully winding and twisting with the music, dancing near to the guys but not actually letting any of them get physically close to her. I smiled. This kind of blowing off steam was cool with me. I had been a bit concerned earlier, after all although she was only a little bit older than me but in terms of life experience she seemed way more experienced, and more comfortable with guys, and if her idea of blowing off steam had been more full on I might have felt a bit uncomfortable. I mean it was like we shared so much, knew so much about all the secrets and craziness that surrounded each other, but we didn't actually know each other at all. But I trusted her, I don't know why, but I just had this sense of complete faith in her.

I couldn't see Renee anywhere and assumed she was having fun, so I let my mind wander as I watched Leah dance. She said that everyone on the res was taught to dance. The image of Jake moving the way Leah was started to surface in my mind.

Oh my god...why is that in my head...I mean, he's my best friend...but friends don't think like that...do they? And after all aren't I destined for some mythical 'connection' with a guy I don't even know? Wow...that actually sucks a bit when you think of it like that.

I looked around the dance floor, watching the guys dancing with girls, moving their bodies in time with each other, close to each other. I couldn't help myself, I started to think what Jake would look like, dancing like that, his arms wrapped around somebody, the heat of the bar making his body slick with sweat and as he wound his body against someone. I wondered what it would be like to feel someone wrapped around me like that, moving against me, the image of the faceless man crept back in to my mind but now was morphing and flashing into the image of Jake pressed against me, dancing with me, being with me.

I suddenly felt like I missed him so much, my chest was caving in. I felt dizzy and sick and my heart was hammering in my ears. I wanted to go home, I wanted Jake, I wanted him so much my eyes started to blur and the images of him on the dance floor seemed so real I began to think I could reach out and touch him. I tried to get down off the stool but this time I stumbled properly. I tried to grip on to the edge of table but missed and swung wildly for the stool.

Leah was with me in a split second, I didn't even see her leave the dance floor. "Bella?_"_ I felt her gripping my face, staring into my eyes. She was really close, I felt her sniff my breath. _"_Bella, what have you drunk?_"_

"No…s'not alco…alco" my tongue felt thick in my mouth, I knew what word I wanted but my mouth was refusing to form it. My head was starting to spin. Leah's face was dancing in front of my eyes. I struggled to focus on her.

"Who got you the drink?" Leah's voice was a roar, I saw people moving now, there was a crowd forming around. The music had stopped yet Leah was still roaring "Renee, did you get her the drink_?"_

Renee was there now, her hands twisting as tears formed in her eyes. "No, I didn't see, I don't know_"_. I saw as Leah picked up my glass, now only half full with soda.

"S'just coke!" I slurred, gripping on to Leah as I felt my balance leaving me.

Leah sniffed the glass deeply and gagged. She threw the drink on the dance floor hard, glass smashing and flying everywhere. I saw security moving towards us, big guys who clearly wanted to get control of the situation but who were equally fearful of the clear and present danger Leah posed. I began to giggle at this but it came out as an unladylike snort.

Now the world began to spin, I heard Leah shouting and pushing people. I heard Renee crying. The next thing I knew was warm arms wrapped around me carrying me like a child. I felt the cold hit me as we moved outside and I pushed myself closer to the warmth. I felt myself being moved into a car. I couldn't work out why I seemed to be so out of control.

I was lying in the car. I could feel the movement of the road underneath me. I could hear Renee crying, saying "I'm sorry" over and over but it was like background noise, faded and blurry. I could feel a warm hand stroking my hair, and a soft voice whispering to me _"_Hold on, nobody can hurt you Bella, I promised him I'd bring you back to him safe and I will!_"_ and then darkness claimed me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All of Twilight belongs to SM.**

[Leah POV]

What was I going to do with her? This girl took protection to a whole new level. I mean it was as if she needed a full time bodyguard. How does sooo much danger happen to just one little person.

I was vexed, I mean beyond furious. It had taken every part of control I had not to phase in the middle of that damn club and tear every one of those guys apart. I mean what kind of sick-ass freak drugs up a girl who's too scared to even get up on the dance floor? And this was her mom's idea of a great place.

Don't get me started, I'd wanted to smack her just as much as the guys. I mean, my mom's strange in her own way, all those bloody apple pies, but this, this wasn't even mother behaviour. She just cried and cried, I was practically ordering her around and she just did as she was told, like she had no idea how deal with the situation. Your kid is sick. You brought her to some freak show and let some pervert get close to her. Take some damn responsibility woman.

Once we got to the hospital I left her to deal with the cops, you will act like an adult if I have anything to do with it, and I'm not sure I could go through speaking about it again without seriously losing my cool. I just sat next to Bella whilst the sweet nurse looked after her. She looked like my mom, did mom kind of things, even when she was helping me get her into a gown she was just, well just like an apple pie mom. I put my head down on the bed. I figured we would be here for a while. Apple pie nurse had got me a blanket, I'm not sure she was too keen on what I was wearing. Man this night had not turned out like I planned. I just really wanted to have some fun and it was all going so well, but I guess Bella just looked like too easy a target, all sweet smiles and stuff.

The nurse took some blood at various points throughout the night and put some kind of meds in Bella's arm, she said something about it counter-acting the other stuff and her just needing to sleep it off. Apparently the dose she'd got wasn't much. I thanked the spirits that I got to the glass before she'd drained it all. This stuff really pissed me off. I mean, I get the whole battle of enemies, the big stuff – I'm a wolf, leeches are bad, kill them, that kind of stuff. But just plain and nasty bad people, with no excuses, it just did my head in. How are girls supposed to know if a guy is sick like that? I can smell a wolf, a leech, and of course people who don't wash enough, but evil - I wish that had a smell too.

After a while Bella's mom came in and sat with her too, we both just dozed in the hard plastic chairs. There wasn't much conversation - I think she knew how I felt, and I got the feeling that maybe I reminded her of home, well Forks anyway, of the people who disapproved of her. So I kept quiet, just waiting and checking on Bella each time she twisted or mumbled. It got light and the nurse bustled back in, apparently they were releasing Bella into her mother's care, I thought that was a bit of a joke, but tried not to let the sarcasm be too obvious. She's supposed to be fine to sleep it off at home. They wanted to strap her to a bed to get her out to the car but I insisted on carrying her. She felt so tiny, like a little doll. Defective is going to kill me for this. She's only been with me a short time and already she's cussed him out, jumped on a plane out of state and got herself drugged up by a pervert. Wow, I'll be lucky if he even lets me speak to her on the phone!

It's funny though. She's nearly there, putting all the pieces together herself. But it's like she's built herself two jigsaws out of one set of pieces. She's falling for Jake in a big way. His name is about the only word that's made sense in all her mumbling. Yet, at the same time she seems more and more dismissive of the imprinting. This is going to rock his mind when we get back. Here he is obsessing over the fact of her imprinting with the wolf, when now she's gone and fallen in love with the man. It gives me brain pain just trying to get my head around it. How do you make a love triangle when it's only got two sides?

She's tucked into bed now and I've got myself out of this ridiculous gear and into the shower. There is something about sitting around in going-out clothes that just makes you feel kind of gross. I can hear Renee on the phone with Charlie, guess she didn't want me to overhear - haha - super wolf hearing comes in handy. I definitely wouldn't want to be in her shoes now. He sounds as vexed as I was. He wants to come and get both of us right now. But she's begging and apologising. She's making me out like the heroine of the hour, and it sounds like that's the only reason he's not charging here. Wow, I guess he does trust me with her so hopefully he should be cool with me when we get back, need at least one person on my side in all this. Bella's out cold now but she keeps up that crazy mumbling – she is definitely hook, line and sinker in love! I alternated between curling up on the bottom of the bed and just wandering around - reading and watching TV. Part of me wanted to phase and check in, I'm not used to going a day without it, but I really didn't want to leave her side. I mean knowing my luck Renee probably has a leech employed as a pool boy and he'll drain her dry before I get back!

She woke up late afternoon, knocking over a glass of water, wow she is clumsy. She looks like she has one major hangover, reminds me of the time Rach and I snuck out to Port Angeles and got trashed on cheap vodka. I was throwing up the whole next day. I spoke in a whisper to her and got her to understand what had happened. She seemed shocked and quite shaken up by it all. Renee came rushing in and smothered her with hugs, bet that definitely didn't help with the hang-over feeling. We got her up and into the shower, she seemed so fragile and definitely unsteady, and after getting some clean pjs on her I made her a bed up on the sofa and we hung out watching dodgy dvds - titanic included - bet Charlie would have loved it. We got some food in - Bella picked at it but didn't eat much so I made the most of demolishing all of it, I was starving from trying to pretend to have an appropriate appetite around her mom.

The next morning everything looked a bit better, Renee had gone out - she had some class or something so I knew we'd get a better chance to talk properly. The rental house has a pool, so after a large breakfast, and after some persuading I managed to convince Bella to get a suit on. We took a bit of a dip and she seemed to be feeling better so we lounged around the pool.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I should have taken better care of you." I admitted.

"This is so not your fault, it's just me, you'll come to realise it, anything…and I mean ANYTHING that can go wrong, will normally go wrong. I mean since I moved – nearly crushed by a van, chased across state by a tracker vampire, had my leg broken by him, bitten by him. Then nearly killed by getting a papercut in a house full of vampire, then got thrown into glass also in house of same vampires, abandoned by all same vampires and got lost in a forest, fell off motorbikes many times, nearly raped and killed by freaky vampire, now nearly raped by freaky human guy. Honestly, it's just me!_" _She cracked a painful smile.

"Hold on, what – you were bitten – what the…." I scrambled up on the lounger, I mean bitten, that made you a leech, but she's here in the sun, I've heard her heart beat, smelled her, she can't have been bitten.

She held out her little arm and my eyes almost bugged out of my head as she showed me the scar. That's a bite, a real live leech bite. What the…? "The venom got sucked out, so I didn't turn, but it burnt like hell_". _She shrugged.

I've got to hand it to this girl, she was tough, most people would have lost their marbles and been checked in to crazy town but she's here just shrugging, like it happens to everyone. Well, I guess everyone with a leech ex-boyfriend. Wow, I didn't like them before, now I really don't like them.

"It's a damn good job you're …connected… to a wolf then, at least he stands a chance of keeping you alive!" I smiled.

"Yeah, I guess, I mean, I suppose so…I'm sure it's great…It's just…it seems a bit…I don't know_"._ She paused, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Leah, do you think it's possible to break the connection, I mean, like if I was in love with someone else…someone who could take care of me just as well…was just as right for me…but instead of it being chosen for me, I could chose. Do you think it could be done?_"_

She looked at me shyly, like what she was saying might annoy me. Was she for real? She wanted to break the imprint because she was in love with someone who was perfect for her despite the fact that the perfect person for her was obviously her imprint. Argh, this is making me want to scream! I rubbed her shoulder and walked towards the pool. My mouth had no words and my brain was struggling with the bind.

I dove in and swum hard, trying to exhaust my irritation. I tried various words in my mind as I lapped back and forth. 'No you glaring idiot because …' 'It's…' 'He is….' Argh. I pulled up to the side of the pool and saw the splash marks on the pool side. I dipped my finger in the water and tried to trace letters on the stone. Bella came over by my side and peered down 'J…a…k', it was really hurting my muscles like I was trying to cut through steel.

"Yes, you're right, I'm in love with Jake, I want to choose him, I want to break the connection for him_"_. She announced happily.

Argh! No that's not what I meant, I tried but I couldn't force anything else out so I threw myself back in the water in frustration. As I surfaced I could see her looking worriedly at me.

"No don't worry, I don't want you to stress yourself, I'll get there some way. Hey, let's order pizza for lunch!"

I dragged myself out of the pool and towelled off. This girl was going to be the death of me! Luckily she didn't push it any further so we just spent the rest of the day hanging out, eating, chatting and stuff. We talked quite a lot about me actually. I told her about Sam, well as much as I could without my words mushing up inside the bind, about the pack, about what it was like being the only female wolf. She told me a lot about the leeches, I filed stuff away in my mind to discuss with the others when I phased. I felt a bit guilty, like I was using her for information but I can't deny what I am.

Her mom reappeared in the afternoon and they set about cooking some kind of dinner. I left them to it, figuring that they might have some stuff to discuss, or maybe just want some alone time together. I was watching TV in the lounge and I guess I must have dropped off because it was dark when I woke up, the tv was off and the house seemed really silent. I wandered through to the bedroom and found Bella sprawled out on the bed reading.

"Hey, you're up, I made dinner, I left you a plate in the microwave, you looked so peaceful that I didn't want to disturb you, do you want me to heat it up?_"_ she smiled.

"Does a fish like water?" Bella obviously needed to learn about a wolf's appetite. I'm really surprised I didn't wake up when the food was cooking. I must have been wiped out from all the drama.

Bella pottered about the kitchen, warming this and fixing that. I could tell she was really at home taking care of people. She was going to need that once she started cooking for all the guys. That bunch of thugs could eliminate every food product in a kitchen in less than ten minutes, although guaranteed you would always find the fruit bowl still full. We weren't exactly known for our balanced diets!

Bella looked really happy. She was bubbly...no...down right excited. I wonder? "Bella, what's going on?"

I prayed there hadn't been another fabulous mother decision - maybe we were going bungee-jumping next, and no one would check to see if Bella's elastic was tied on properly! I mean, I was on a count-down now, I'd done the whole rest of the trip with no drama, no life-threatening injuries, no leech attacks, although admittedly we hadn't left the house. But now it was just a good night's sleep, then a few more hours and I'd have her on a plane home, safe and sound, ready to deliver her into the arms of her defective imprint. But something was definitely up, and I'd already learnt enough about Bella the danger magnet to know that any kind of something could be a bad thing.

"Well, it's nothing really, well I guess it is something_",_ she twirled her hair around her finger and chewed her lip.

"What have you done?" I repeated in a much more serious tone.

"Ok, so you know what we were talking about earlier?_", _ok, earlier, talking lots of things - leeches, Sam, pack, don't take drinks from strangers - narrow it down for me girl!

"What we agreed about being able to choose your own love_". _Wow, slow down, I agreed nothing, please don't drag my name into it, I'm barely likely to escape alive from the pack when we get home without adding this into it.

"Well.._."_ she made a big dramatic pause and I could feel every part of the dinner making its way back up out of my stomach, "I called Jake while you were sleeping".

Oh no, the dinner crashed back down, part of me felt this should be a yippee moment, but the other part of me had a creeping, gnawing feeling that this was not a yippee. I raised my eyebrows and tentatively asked "and...?"

_"_Well, he still didn't sound very well, but he seemed really pleased to speak to me, he kept saying how much he missed me and when was I coming home. So I told him everything that had been going on, all about the wolf, and the connection stuff and getting annoyed when the wolf wouldn't show himself_"_ No, no, no, this wasn't yippee, the girl still wasn't adding the sums up straight.

"Then I told him about coming here and all the stuff that went on at the bar_"_ I'm dead, I'm a dead she-wolf, it's over - mama order me a coffin, bring on the silver bullets!

"And how you protected me and took such great care of me_"_ she smiled at me reassuringly and I tried to put on a weak smile in return. They are going to make me run patrols everyday for the rest of my life for this.

"And then I explained to him that I understood about the connection but felt it would be best if I worked out a way to break it as I am already in love with someone else. I was funny though, I don't think he realised I was talking about him, as he got off the phone really quickly. I can't wait to see his face when I explain it to him properly; I'm really looking forward to getting back now_"._

I stuttered, then stammered, then finally managed to find some words "Bella, you told him what...?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: SM owns all the characters - I just gave Leah a bit more space!**

I'm dead, I'm fundamentally dead. This has just gone beyond a joke now.

I managed to stumble through the rest of the conversation and bundle the now over-excited Bella off to bed. I sat on the couch with my head in my hands. What was it with people making these double-meaning statements! Yes, I could see what she had meant, but I also knew exactly how he would have understood it. He's going to think she still wants the leech. It's not going to occur to him, the great doofus that she's talking about him.

A horrifying thought leapt into my mind – oh no – the madness, the darkness, what if…Oh man I need to call home. I can't phase, I daren't leave so I'm going to have to rely on the good old-fashioned telephony system. I dialled the Blacks furiously but the phone didn't seem to ring right, damn it Billy, why can't you have a machine for time like this. I dialled Sam's number and winced when I heard my cousin's voice.

"Em, is Sam there? It's a pack thing, I'm worried about Jake" I babbled, not wanting her to think…not wanting…man was this ever going to get any easier?

"Thank goodness you called, he's been phasing, hoping to catch you, trying to find out what happened._" _Her tone was worried, and I immediately knew that Bella's innocent words had caused some kind of damage.

"Does he want me to phase in, try and explain it straight to Jake, like before?" I was hopeful now. I mean, if I could bring him out of that horrifying darkness once, surely, I mean actually the reality, the explanation was even better now, even sweeter.

She hesitated _"_It's not that simple, you …you need to speak to Sam. He was with some of the Elders – have you tried them?_"_

"There was no answer at Billy's; the Elders…wait Em, how bad is this?" I was scared now, I wanted to be at home, and I wanted nothing more than to fix this.

"Try home, LeeLee, try your Dad, maybe he can explain it better_"_ She apologised and got off the line. I really didn't like this at all. I had hardly spoken a word to Dad in weeks, since the change. Don't get me wrong we were still cool, but I could detect more than a hint of embarrassment that his daughter had phased - unlike the pride that was clear when he talked about Seth's phasing, and now, how much more could I heap on the poor guy?

I dialled my house and there was a click as it picked up on the first ring.

"Leah?_"_ My dad sounded calm, and for some reason this upset more than everything else and I burst into tears. I couldn't explain why, I just suddenly felt so wretched, so worn out.

"Dad, I'm sorry, it's all gone so crazy, I never thought she'd phone, confuse everything like that". I felt like a child, confessing to stealing cookies and all I wanted more than anything was my dad to hug me and make it all better.

"Is that what happened? We couldn't understand, he'd been stable since he communicated with you. Leah, please tell me you will both be coming home soon, I'm not sure how much longer we have…"he trailed off.

"We're booked on the first flight; we should be back late morning, or lunch or something. Is he angry with me? Please tell me the madness isn't back" I begged for information.

"Oh Leah, I thought one of the pack had spoken to you, I wish I didn't have to tell you this - Jacob lost consciousness a few hours ago. He is unresponsive to the herbs and tonics I have. He doesn't react to pain and his body is not healing. His heart rate has begun to slow and his temperature is dropping. Billy found him on the floor at the house – all we knew was that the phone had been ripped out of the wall, disconnecting the line_"._

I cradled the phone against my head, the sobs ripping through my body as I buried my face in a pillow, trying hard not to wake anyone.

"I could run, carry her, we could leave now" anything, I'd do anything to undo this.

"It's not safe my sweet child and we have no idea how long it would take for you to cover the distance. You have limited tracking experience so there would be too much risk of getting lost and it taking longer. Better to get her on that flight, either I or Sam will collect you from the airport – I'll talk to Charlie. We will bring her straight to him and we must pray that the physical connection with her will be enough to restore him_."_

"What if it's not, Dad, what if it's not?" I sobbed.

"We will face that if it comes, for now we must trust in the spirits_"._

I had hung up the phone and must have cried myself to sleep because when I woke I felt like death warmed up. Bella and Renee were buzzing around happily getting organised. I barely even registered what was going on. I don't know what I ate; don't know what I'm wearing. I just shuffled through the processes oblivious. I clock watched like never before, counting every minute, every second.

We left for the airport and it was all hugs and tears, Renee got so caught up in the moment she was even hugging me, and I was too far gone in my own thoughts to refuse it. Everything felt like it was taking too long, the queue at the desk, the attendants flapping about with their stupid instructions – HURRY UP ALREADY!

Bella was happy reading throughout the flight, which I was grateful for. I'm not sure I could have handled any conversation at all. I don't know what to say to her. I want to scream and shout, but how do you tell someone that they may have just killed the person they are in love with. Oh I was not cut out for this…all I wanted was a little excitement in my life….but that's it, no more excitement for me. I'm through with it all. I will bake cookies, run patrols, smile sweetly at the Elders and say please and thank you to everything. There will not be one more complaint about how boring my life is. I would give anything for boring right now!

Sam was standing immediately outside the arrival doors. The seriousness on his face nearly brought the tears back again. He greeted Bella politely and didn't meet my gaze. We jumped into the truck and Bella was seemingly unaware of the tense atmosphere. She asked Sam loads of questions, about being a wolf, what his favourite part was, what it felt like being a leader.

Then she turned to him in all seriousness "Sam, you are in charge of everything, so you issue the commands that stop everyone talking to me, which means there is nothing to stop you talking to me_"_.

I almost choked, and held my breath to see what he would say, I mean we are so close to home, will he just tell her straight out?

"I am not prevented from talking to you however there are more pressing concerns right now. Jacob is sick. I believe that you can heal him. I am taking you to him now. Once he is healed there will be time for any conversation you wish_"._

"How can I heal him, I'm not a nurse – can't you take him to a hospital?_"_

"Jacob's sickness is not a human illness, no hospital, no drug can help him. But I believe that the love you have for him will be his cure_"._

Bella blushed deep red at this and fell silent for a while. We were almost at the boundary line when she spoke again. "What do I have to do?_"_

Sam stared ahead gripping the steering wheel. His voice was strained "To be honest, I don't know, none of this makes any sense, but hopefully just being there will be enough_."_

When we got to Billy's house I could see the commotion already. It looked like the whole pack was there, as well as Billy and Dad. The guys rushed at the car and I could feel Sam working at full speed trying to control the shouting and pushing. Paul was the worst, his face bright purple with rage – Quil and Embry were hauling him away from the car and round the back of the house in case he phased. Jared and Seth were quieter but both their faces showed fear. Sam simply grabbed Bella from the seat and carried her into the house, as if the time it would take for her to walk would be too long.

As I entered the back bedroom the tears stung my eyes again. Sam had placed Bella on the bed and she was stroking his hair, his face, but he looked terrible. He lay prostrate, his long limbs just hanging at loose angles on the too small bed. His face was deathly pale and his eyes were closed. I could smell…I don't know what to call it…the wrongness from the doorway. I sought to screen out the other noises from outside and pick out his heartbeat but when I found it I swallowed heavily, it was much much too slow, even for a regular guy this would have been dangerous, but for a wolf, this was critical.

Sam moved past me out into the hallway, away from Bella's eyes. _"_It's not stopping, it's still slowing down. I don't think it's enough, he's too far gone_". _He paused, rubbing his hand over his hair. For a moment I remembered how he always used to run his fingers through his long hair when he was stressed, but now, with it all cropped off there was nothing left. _"_I thought…I hoped…as soon as she touched him he'd wake up. It's like his wolf is switched off and it's taken him with it_"._

Jared joined us now _"_Can't we do something, anything; I mean how do you wake his wolf if it's not her. What's else is going to get him up? Maybe a leech, catch a leech, the leech smell might wake him?_"_

He was clutching at straws, I mean we are wolves because of the leeches, we exist to protect against the threat they pose. Wait…the threat…a threat…any threat?

"Sam, I have an idea and you are going to hate it but please please trust me". Sam looked at me fearfully but nodded.

"I need all of them cleared out, outside at least, just you, me, Bella and Jake".

Sam began moving people, Billy and Dad went willingly, the rest of the pack he had to bind in place. Once he was back in the hallway, he looked at me warily. _"_So what now?_"_

"Now you be ready to protect her". I moved into the bedroom before he could stop me.

Bella was sat next to Jake on the bed, worry clear all over her face. I took a deep breath and for the first time asked the Spirits for guidance. Then I squared my shoulders and moved to the bed.

"So what, this how you greet us, huh? Can't even be bothered to get up and say hello?" My voice was harsh, coarse. Bella looked horrified and I could hear a hush descending over the huddled masses outside.

"Did you hear me big bad wolf. What you too weak? Ahh poor baby". I taunted.

I kicked the leg of the bed hard, jolting Bella in the process. "Leah stop, you're hurting him, he's sick._"_

"Yeah he's sick alright, and pretty damn pathetic. Here I am rushing back to bring the girl of your dreams to you, and you can't even be bothered to look".

"Leah, stop, please_"_ Bella's face was red and she was starting to cry.

"Ahhh, looky-see big bad wolf, I made your little lady cry and you can't stop me, you useless excuse for a wolf…you broken wolf….you 'defective' wolf" I spat at him, kicking the other leg of the bed as I grabbed Bella and hauled her off the bed, her eyes were wide as the realisation hit her. Finally!

I grabbed the tops of her arms hard and she cried out "Leah, you're hurting me_"_ and I shook her as her cries filled the room.

I couldn't look at Sam, couldn't trust that I wouldn't break my resolve. In my mind and through my eyes I begged Bella for forgiveness for what I was about to do. Then I saw it, the slightest flicker, the tremble in the fingers on the bed and I knew there was no choice. I raised my voice, roaring now...

"Too damn defective to protect her aren't you, can't even stop a threat like me!" and with that, as I drew my hand across my body, everything went into slow motion.

I heard the crack as my knuckles connected with her jaw.

I felt the slickness on my fingers as her lip split from the impact.

I smelt the blood from the droplets that sprung from her lip and splattered on the exposed leg lying on the bed.

Then I saw his body blur, the hum as he began to explode and I threw Bella sideways into Sam's waiting arms as the wolf in front of me exploded into life.

I barely had time to register as I was thrown to the side.

I felt the chest of drawers explode beneath me in the impact and I knew that parts of the wood were now embedded in my back.

I felt his teeth next as the powerful jaw tore into my shoulder, ripping through the muscles, tearing at the bone.

Maybe I should phase, maybe…. You know what…bring it on.

I'm not fighting back; call this my punishment if you will, for every spiteful comment, for everything I didn't listen to.

I knew the formation, we were taught it regularly enough – disarm, disable and next would come destroy.

There was no man left in this wolf. This was instinct, pure animal instinct. I was the threat, the threat to his imprint and he would destroy it.

But then he would be awake, Bella, Jake and the pack would live happily ever after, and right now that was all that mattered to me.

The next bite from the wolf would be to my human neck and it would kill me.

I let my eyes roll back in my head and waited for the end.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I never was and never will be S. Meyer.**

[Bella POV]

I was crying now, huge fat tears running down my face. I don't get this, we had been so close, over the last few days I really felt as if I could trust her, and now, when I'm faced with the heart-breaking sight of the person she knows I am in love with in such a terrible condition, she is shouting and hollering at him like it was all his fault. Maybe I really didn't know her at all…maybe this was what she was really like, around the guys at least.

"Ahhh, looky-see big bad wolf, I made your little lady cry and you can't stop me, you useless excuse for a wolf…_"_

It's so mean, the way she taunting him, he didn't make himself sick. Why doesn't Sam stop her?

"You broken wolf…"

Wait, what did she say, why does that sound familiar?

"You defective wolf…_"_

My eyes grew wide and I almost choked on my tears, he was…he is…my 'defective wolf', my Jake is my wolf, but then why wouldn't he say, why didn't he tell me. Could he - no that's not possible, he wouldn't have been scared to tell me, scared that I would still reject him, like I had done countless times before, scared that I would fight against…the connection. The conversation I had with him on the phone replayed itself in my mind - oh my God what have I done?

Leah's hard hands interrupted my thoughts as she hauled me to my feet shaking me. I pleaded with her, she needed to let me go. I was crying harder now – not because of the pain but with the realisation that I was the reason that Jake was lying broken in front of me. It was my fault, just as Edward had left me lying in that wood – unable to respond, unable to reason, so I had done the same to Jake when he had needed the reassurance of my love for him more than anything. Now he was lost inside himself, clutching at the hole I had carved in him when I had prattled on about breaking the 'connection'. I needed her to let me go so that I could plead with him, beg him to understand my mistake.

Leah's eyes locked mine and I nearly blacked out with shock. The look inside them resonated so clearly within me that I felt myself transported back to Phoenix, staring in the mirror as I plotted to evade Alice and Jasper and sacrifice myself to James in return for my mother's safety. These were the eyes of someone who was prepared to die in the place of someone they loved. I couldn't cry anymore, the shock was too much, something terrible was about to happen and Leah was ready for it. I couldn't find any words, my mind was a jumble.

I registered her movement as she drew her hand back and my mind threw itself into recollection again – snapping now to my birthday watching the single drop of blood fall and seeing the vampire inside Jasper burst into life. Realisation hit me, I understood exactly what was going to take place and I opened my mouth to cry out to Leah to stop. I knew then that she was going to unleash the wrath of a protector on herself in order to save him, but I had seen how many vampires it took to hold Jasper in place once he had given in to his other side, and the rest of the wolves were too far away. Please don't do this Leah, please.

The blow connected before any of these words could tumble from my mouth. I didn't even cry out, much as when I had been thrown into the glass on the same night. I knew it would hurt later on but right now, the fear I felt for Leah overwhelmed any other sensation. I felt myself flying to the side and being caught up into a strong hold. Sam turned and I was now facing out into the hallway. I struggled against his grip, desperate to try and regain access to the situation whilst hearing terrifying crashes and wood splintering. A huge impact jarred through me and I felt Sam crumple behind me. I was dropping to the floor, his huge frame crashing down over me, pinning me partially underneath him. I could smell the overwhelming scent of blood. As I twisted I could see the back of his head and upper back carved with huge claw marks, the blow he had sustained clearly sufficient to render him unconscious.

I spun my head to the left straining to make out the others in the backyard. They were all fixed in place – fear, anguish and torment etched on their faces – I looked back at Sam and realised that they had been locked and even unconscious his order still held – meaning that they were powerless to help. Billy was gripping the arms of his chair and Harry was leaning heavily on the wheelchair frame – one hand gripping his chest. I twisted and tugged, trying to heave myself out from Sam's heavy body.

As I moved I could see better into the bedroom and sickness rose in my throat as I saw my wolf…my Jake's...huge teeth embedded in Leah's shoulder. I saw his head pull back and the second wave of the smell of flowing blood hit me, making me reel in disgust. Her body was limp, I couldn't see her face from the angle but there was no reaction, no response and I began to fear the worst. I needed him to stop, I needed him to realise. He would never forgive himself otherwise and his guilt would destroy his family, my new family, like Jasper's guilt had destroyed my old family.

I needed him with every fibre of my being. I turned now, face to face as he moved to attack Leah again. I summed up every ounce of wish, desire, need, call it what you will and begged him out loud.

"Jake, please, my Jake, I need you, help me please".

His focus altered, time seemed to slow down as he turned his head towards me, dropping down from his hind legs to all fours. He was panting, I could feel the anger still coursing through him, it was that palpable and I sought to keep his attention before he might return to his attack. I tilted my head back to look up at him now he was closer and whimpered as the pain registered in my jaw. I raised my arms to him as if I were a child, seeking comfort, reassurance after a fall and watched in amazement as his body seemed to constrict and fold in on itself, snapping and reducing back into a human form. His eyes were dark and absent of recognition and I knew that my Jake was still lost somewhere inside.

I continued to hold my arms up and whimpered again, realising that my need for his protection seemed on some level to be over-riding his desire to continue his attack on Leah. I stared into his beautiful eyes, tears welling in my own again as I saw for myself the pain that I had caused him. He moved towards me and I took in the changes that he had gone through. He had recently appeared strong and well proportioned, his body had grown considerably since I had seen him last. His huge arms with large ripped muscles were crawling towards me. I saw his massive shoulders and chest and as he moved this time I brought my eyes up swiftly to meet his again. I hadn't exactly registered that he wouldn't be wearing any clothing after the transformation and despite the intensity of the situation felt a steady blush forming on my cheeks.

He moved Sam's torso from my legs with a single push and I heard a low moan from Sam as he began to stir. Jake swept me up into his arms, pressing me tight against his chest as if carrying a small child.

Sam came to and I hissed to him quietly "Let them help you, get her safe" as Jake carried me away towards the living room.

I heard movement – graceful, stealth-like movement, and Leah's moans as they moved her, thank god she was still alive. Jake lowered me onto the sofa and I fought to keep my eyes locked to his rather than take in all of his masculine beauty. He seemed unaware of his situation which continued to worry me and I gently tugged him to sit down next to me. I was grateful for once for his and Billy's lack of general house-keeping as my hand touched on a stray t-shirt which I laid over his lap, continuing to keep my eyes firmly locked on his. His face came close to mine and he stuck his nose out, the tip touching against the drying blood on my chin. I wrapped my arms around his neck, fearful that the blood might trigger a fresh attack and moved his head until it was resting on my shoulder.

Sam warily appeared in the doorway, unsteady on his feet. I felt Jake's muscles begin to tense and I held him tighter.

"Go now, all of you" I hissed quietly.

"It's not safe, I can't…_"_ Sam's words were slightly slurred, his pain evident.

"Go NOW" I demanded and met his eyes with mine.

I would not take the chance of anyone else being hurt because of my actions. I could hardly bear the guilt for the pain Leah must be in and I was worried about Harry also. I did not know what Sam's fear was, this was my Jake, he would never hurt me, even if he was confused and in pain. Sam bowed out, clearly unhappy but obviously pulled by the need to attend to Leah. I felt saddened for him also, although he had moved on with his 'connection', it must still be devastating to watch someone you once loved being attacked like that.

I listened as I heard the sounds of Leah, Harry and Billy being helped into the truck and it driving away, I assumed that the others were going to be running on foot beside them. I began to stroke Jake's hair, trying to reassure him as he sat. I started to talk to him quietly, telling him how much I'd missed him, how much I had wanted to see him. I stroked his face gently nudging him up so he was sitting properly now. I moved around on my knees so I was facing him, trying to look in his eyes and get a glimmer of recognition. But they were still dark, empty pools.

I began to get desperate, needing him to acknowledge me, needing him to realise how much I loved him and I became bolder by the second. I leant forward now, kissing him on the forehead, his cheeks, telling him how much I needed him. I climbed over him, careful not to dislodge the t-shirt, straddling his legs and resting my knees either side. I placed my hands on both sides of his face as I leant down, gently brushing my lips against his. I winced inside as the pain registered but carried on regardless.

I pulled back, seeking his eyes and whispered "I love you Jake".

I leaned in again, pressing my lips to his harder this time in spite of the pain, then pulled back again "It was you Jake".

This time as I kissed him I reached out the tip of my tongue, running it across his dry lips before whispering almost against him "I choose you Jake".

I pressed harder and almost jumped as I felt his lips respond slightly, moulding to mine as the muscles in his arms twitched to life. His arms folded around my hips drawing me to him and I gasped against his mouth.

He lips caught mine this time, deepening the kiss immediately. I felt lost and found all at once, the relief and desire overwhelming me. His hands roamed across my back, as if trying to reassure himself that I was real. One hand caught the back of head, pressing into my hair and deepening the kiss even further. I moaned into his mouth, partly from pain at the pressure against my damaged lip but mostly from an incredible sense of desire. I was losing the capacity for rational thought. All I wanted was his mouth, his tongue, his hands on me, his body pressed against me.

His mouth formed a single word against mine "Bella_"_, his voice was cracked and strained but it was the most beautiful sound nonetheless.

"Yes Jake, I'm here, I love you, I'm yours", the words tumbled from me, I was almost breathless by now.

The hands holding me tightened and his kiss grew more passionate, heating my whole body from within. He made a low growling sound, seeming to come from deep within him and spoke just one more word "Mine_"_.

The world seemed to moved as I panted "Yes, I love you, I choose you" and then I acknowledged that my world really was moving. I was on my back now, the floor cushioned by the soft rug we used to do homework on. Jake's kisses were bombarding my senses as I registered his weight settling on to me. I had never experienced this type of position, let along this furious sense of desire. Jake's hands and mouth were causing me to lose track of everything, his warmth enveloped me, the electricity from his touch ignited me. I was writhing against him oblivious of everything else.

As his mouth met mine each time I felt waves of emotion crashing over me. It was as if at this one moment, every pain that I had ever experienced in my life was being purged from me. I arched up to him seeking to connect with every part of him as that warmth covered me, nurtured me and protected me. He was my saviour, my sun, the reason for me to be and I had almost lost him, he was almost taken from me.

I needed him to be mine, I needed us. I needed him. Once again I crashed under another wave of desire, of bliss. He was my everything, his hands, his warmth. The wave came again and I panted trying to make sense of the feeling, trying to think but the pleasure came dragging me back down. I had never known the world until this moment, this pleasure was going to be the death of me. I was aware of movement, warm, blissful movement, then a sudden pain sliced my thought and his arms tightened around me, his eyes locking on to mine as suddenly, the pleasure, the pain registered in me. In that second I realised that we had moved further than I had ever considered, imagined or even truly allowed myself to dream of but the pleasure, the sense of desire urged me on as his body moved as one with mine, filling me completely.

My breath caught as his kisses rained down on my neck, his moans of my name becoming a melody in my ears as his movements increased their furious pace. This was my Jake, my wolf, mine, just as I was his. He had come back to me, he wasn't lost, I would not lose him again, for all eternity. I began to mumble – all sorts of random words of love and adoration. As another wave of pleasure built up I cried out "I belong to you" and he moved purposefully against me and within me. He lifted his head, starting deep into my eyes, his deep voice saying words I didn't understand, in a language I didn't know. He sounded them out in time with each thrust, the beautiful words rising me up again on another wave of pleasure. His breath caught and then my name was strangled out almost in a crying sob as I felt him shudder against me. He slumped against me and the enormity of the moment rose up to met me as he did so. I had just…we had just…Jake and I had…Oh my god.

I rested my head against his as I tried to take it all in. Jake moved back, leaning up on one shoulder. His eyes meeting mine, Jake's eyes, full of him, full of life, the dark pools now swimming with emotion and a thousand words, a thousand questions bubbled up inside of me. He ran his hand down the side of my face, smoothing the hair away and gently ran a finger over my bruised lip and jaw. He leant in as if to kiss it when suddenly his head snapped towards the door. _"_Someone's coming_"_.

He sprung to his feet and shot through the house, pushing me into the bathroom. I heard Sam shouting Jake's name as he crashed through the front door.

"Jake, you need to come now, the elders, you need to see them_"._

Jake didn't respond and I pressed against the bathroom door, holding it closed in case Sam decided to come crashing into here too.

Sam was not going to be deterred and demanded again

"Jake you need to see the Elders now! I'm not the Alpha anymore!_"_


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Not now nor ever SM!**

[Jake POV]

I was standing at the basin of the washroom in the Elder's lodge trying desperately to get a handle on the situation. The water I had splashed on my face didn't seem to be helping. I gripped the basin trying to steady myself and I looked hard into the mirror at the face staring back at me.

I barely recognised myself anymore. My face had grown and changed so much in the last few weeks that I felt like I was looking at a picture of a relative instead of myself, and don't get me started on my hair. I still can't get used to it. I stared deep into my own eyes trying to get a moment, just a minute to put everything into some sort of sense. Too much was happening; I could barely process it all.

There had been so much agony, so much darkness over the past few days that even my eyes seemed to have aged years by themselves, and understanding of loss so extreme that I had never thought I would even see another moment, let alone that moment. My mind reeled again and I bathed in the comforting images of my angel. That was what she was, my Bella, an angel a princess, no…not a princess, she was a queen. My Queen. It felt like a fairy tale and if it were not for the injuries my pack was suffering because of me, I would swear I had been dreaming the whole time.

As the next wave of pain hit me I cried out softly, feeling my bones cracking and my muscles stretching again, but the images, the feelings, the memories of my beautiful Bella, claiming me as her mate pulled me through again. The Elders had warned me the change would be furious and painful. There were only a few stories of those who had removed the Alpha status from another without the ceremony and the growth was almost always immediate. God, if I got much bigger would I even fit in Billy's house anymore? I didn't want to move, I never wanted to leave that house now. I wanted to remember that moment for the rest of my life.

I hadn't wanted to leave Bella and I had begged her to stay there until I could deal with the Elders. I didn't want to chance her being apart from me, at least until we had time to talk and for her to ask all of the questions that I knew she would have. I had so many things to explain to her, I wanted to tell her everything I knew. Part of me also acknowledged that I desperately wanted her reassurance as well. Sam and Jared had explained all they knew about imprinting and the rush to 'claim' but I had always assumed I'd be...well...with it, in control of myself so that I could keep things slow and help Bella to understand everything.

Sam had said that the moment when Emily had accepted him as her mate was the most beautiful, spiritual thing that had ever happened to him. And it was, it was surreal almost, it was like I didn't even truly know what we were doing until I felt that moment, the pain in her face as I…broke through. That was why I needed her reassurance, I needed to know that she didn't feel like it was a mistake, or too fast or too wild. Oh damn man – I'd torn her clothes, slit them right off her, that wasn't cool. I hadn't even realised until I heard Sam coming, then I'm rushing to hide her in a bathroom, oh so not cool. I mean talk about – 'Hi Honey, thanks for the great lay, now your clothes are in pieces and a guy is just about to burst into the house'! I should have had flowers, and candles – girls have that thing about candles and Barry White music or something. Sam had been muttering something about 'the union solidifying the imprint bond', but I didn't care about the whys or what piece of magic hocus pocus this was. All I cared about was that my Bella, my queen didn't hate me for getting it all wrong.

I gripped the basin again as the next set of stretching started, more mythical jumbo – so the Alpha has to be the biggest wolf, couldn't Sam just get a bit smaller for christssake! The Elders had thought initially that I had stripped him of the Alpha status with the hit Sam had taken when I phased in the bedroom, that I had 'negated his power base'. But it hadn't sat right, didn't feel right. It was only when my stupid history teacher, who knew she was a secret Elder, what did they call her – the 'Story Keeper', what a crock of…

Anyway, she started going on about the Claim Chant, I was out of it by this time, I mean she made me fall asleep in class, let alone here when there were so much better things to think about, to remember. It was only when she started to say some of the words, those words, Oh man I felt for a second that I had been right back with Bella, the intensity of the memory made me moan out some the words I had said. There had been coughs and clearing of throats and I swear I was never going to look at that teacher ever again. Maybe I'd just start skipping that class all together. I was so grateful that Dad and Harry hadn't been there, they never would have let me live it down.

So here I was, staring at the face of a man who had nearly lost his mind, nearly killed half his pack, then lost his virginity to the girl of his dreams in some mythical imprinting bonding, and then gone on to recite some mystical mojo that had stripped the Alpha status from Sam in a single move. To be honest, I couldn't take it all in right now. Really I'm just a simple guy; I can only handle one big drama at a time. I just wanted to get back to Bella, hug her and profess my undying love for her, eat, check up on Leah and Harry, eat some more and fall asleep holding Bella in my arms. Is it really too much to ask? Can't a guy get a little bit of peace with the love of his life?

I dragged myself out of the restroom and noticed that several of the Elders had left. I acknowledged the remaining – "Are we good for the time being, I just have some stuff to do?" There was general nodding and I grabbed Sam's arm and we headed out. Man I needed fresh air. I looked at Sam and we both grimaced, we seriously looked a mess. I felt really crap about what I had done to him and Leah, but him especially. Both of them would heal physically, but Sam had stayed with me when I had been in that dark hell-hole and I felt that stripping him of his power like this, without even a conversation, just felt like hitting a guy when he was down.

"Are we cool?" It didn't say what I needed to, but how do you say everything, apologise for everything that had happened?

He shoved my shoulder _"_Of course we're cool, look at the size of you, you seriously expect me to argue with you now?_"_ he smiled at me and that surprised me.

"I've been waiting for this day, we all knew you were supposed to be Alpha, I was just holding your seat for you. You could have given me a heads up but I'm cool with second-in-command, still gives me enough power to keep Paul in line so that's fine, and honestly, I think Em will be really pleased_"._ He went to rub his head and winced slightly, I grimaced again,

"What about those?" I don't know how I had hit him so deep, in fact I don't remember any of it, just the anger. I was so thankful to Leah that she had the presence of mind to have Sam protect Bella. The thought of Bella's face scarred like Emily nearly made me stumble. His scars were taking time to heal too. Leah was almost fine now, just sleeping it off, but Sam's marks were still raw angry welts across the back of his head and down his back.

"You know, I know the Elders didn't say anything but I think in some way maybe I'm doing it to myself_"_ I looked at him and my brows creased in confusion.

"I could never undo what I did to Em, so maybe on some level, maybe I'm stopping myself from healing, so that…It sounds really stupid doesn't it. Do I sound crazy if I said that maybe I want these scars, so that in some way it evens things out?_"_ He shrugged and then brushed me off. I could see he'd had enough for one day too. "Look I'm going to check in on Harry, get home to Bella man, I can tell you're dying to"_._

This time I didn't need to be told twice. I took off, barely keeping myself in check to run at regular pace. It was still daytime and I didn't need anyone noticing. I burst through the door, my heart was beating fast and for a moment I panicked, what if she'd gone? What if it was too fast? What if she was mad at me? What if she felt I had forced her into it? My heart was thumping. My eyes racked around, everything was tidy, neat, put away. Something was cooking and my stomach growled loudly but I needed her, I needed my Queen, I needed to know…

Bella came in through the back door, she was wearing one of my old t-shirts tied up around her waist and her face was flushed like she had been working out. She jumped slightly as she saw me then her face broke into the most gorgeous half smile. I rushed to her, breathing heavily. She hadn't gone. She wasn't throwing things at me. She didn't hate me. Bella tilted her head up to me and I leant forward so my face was at the same height as hers. She placed a tiny kiss on my lips and I felt as if I had gate-crashed heaven. I could see the bruising coming out now and I didn't want to risk hurting her so I kept really still. She drew back and placed her palm on my check, I never wanted to be without her gentle touch again. _"_Jake, we need to talk_."_

Why is it that every guy in the universe reacts the same way to that sentence? I love this girl more than life itself, I've nearly killed myself and other people to be with her, but that one sentence, man, it sets off this strange chain reaction of fear and dread. You feel like you should run and hide or offer to fix anything mechanical. I opted for nodding and let her lead me to the sofa, the sofa were she had kissed me, told me she loved me. My eyes couldn't help but move to the rug, man that was now my most favourite rug in the world.

"Ok, so, right, well! Look Jake, I want to say…no I need to say some things and I want you to listen and not just you know…do the guy nodding thing and then forgot ok?_"_

I nodded again, then realised and said "Umm, yes, ok".

"I want you to know that what happened earlier, that was magical, incredible but very very unexpected. I mean, I love you, I'm in love with you but I never thought, I mean I thought… but you know…eventually…after dating….and talking and planning sort of thing?_"_

"Bells, I need to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…It was my fault. The imprinting, it gives you these drives but it was my responsibility to keep control, to take things at your pace. I'm so sorry". I hung my head in shame now, my cheeks burning.

Bella reached out, her hand grasping mine. _"_I'm not mad at you Jake, it was my responsibility too. I could have said stop. I know you would have respected my choice, but I didn't. So there is no need for apologies or sadness_"._ She squeezed my hand tightly and I looked deep into her eyes. I was so in love with her and I hoped she knew that.

"What I want to say is that, even though we...you know" she gestured shyly towards the rug. "I'm not ready for that to be us, if that makes any sense. If you want us to be together…properly, like as a couple_"_ I nodded eagerly at this, a couple, me and Bella, Bella and I, our, us – I loved all of these words so much right now. _"_I need us to start at the beginning, you know – dates, hold hands, some kissing, that kind of thing and move back up to…well, you know…_"_ My eyes grew wide and a grin spread across my face which Bella caught and half-frowned _"_SLOWLY, eventually, at some point in the distant future, if you are a good boyfriend_"_.

I smiled softer now, and pulled her into my arms. "I can deal with that", and it wasn't a lie. Don't get me wrong, it had been the most delicious feeling and part of me couldn't wait for 'eventually' in order to feel like that again but I also knew that unless it was what Bella wanted completely and honestly – it would never feel quite as perfect again.

"So, you are officially my girlfriend now then?" She nodded, "So I'm officially your boyfriend?" She nodded again. A slow lazy grin spread over my face "So what are we going to officially do then now we are a couple?" She smiled back, a mischievous look appearing. _"_Well, I officially have a lasagne cooking so I need to make a salad and you officially have 20 minutes to come up with a sensible reason for the bruises on my face before our dads officially get here for some dinner after seeing Harry at the hospital, where you can also tell Charlie all about being officially my boyfriend now!_"_. She hopped off my lap and headed back into the kitchen.

I groaned. What had I been saying about no more dramas today?


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: SM owes everything Twilight, oh and as some people pointed out I should have credited Chris Brown for 'Transform Ya', Leah's theme tune in the bar scene in an earlier chapter.**

Charlie, oh wow! This day is just getting more and more out of hand. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've known Charlie since I was just a little kid and to be honest, I love the guy to pieces. It was only as I had got older that I had come to understand that Charlie was literally the only reason dad had made it through losing mum. I remembered back to all those nights he spent sleeping on our couch, just being here so that he could hold everything together. Sue and Harry had taken the girls in, just bunked them up with Leah so that school and routine could go on as usual, but Charlie had insisted that I stayed here with dad, something that until recently I'd never quite understood. It was as if in that moment, the three of us formed our own little family unit. Dad had to keep going, keep trying so that he could take care of me, and Charlie just hovered quietly in the background, just making sure.

None of us could cook, so food was a bit rough and ready, but man did I learn to fish and to cope. I had learned how to miss mum without falling apart and at Charlie's side, I had learned how to take care of dad, without making it obvious that I was taking care of him. Charlie had taught me how to move him, how to lift him. He'd shown me how to help him out with taking care of himself – the personal stuff in the early days that he struggled with, without it being weird. So that by the time the girls came back home, we were a little team of our own. Nobody ever spoke of it, but it was accepted - the girls dealt with the house, the washing, cleaning and cooking. But dad was for me to handle.

I remembered the day when that evil woman from social services had just pitched up at the house to carry out some 'assessment' on whether he was a 'competent parent' to us three kids. How dad had tears in his eyes as she barked question after question at him, wanting to know which of 'the minors' had to wipe his backside. I remember pulling the phone into my room and calling Charlie at work and how he had rushed here, sirens blazing on the cruiser and given that women a piece of his mind. After that, whenever they wanted to see how we were doing, they had to book the appointment through Charlie and he would stand sternly in the corner staring directly at them the whole time. No one ever humiliated my dad again.

I loved my dad with all my heart, but it was Charlie who had taught me to be the man I needed to be, and I needed to face him as that man today. I had jumped through the shower, wanting to be presentable. I stopped to marvel at the work Bella had done in the time I was with the elders. Everything was clean and tidy. She had stripped my bed and put fresh sheets on. All of the broken pieces of furniture had neatly been stacked by the wood pile in the backyard. The floor and walls had been scrubbed and there was not a trace of blood present, just a faint waft of bleach. Several posters from my car magazines had been neatly tacked to the walls and door. When I peeled back one of the corners I had to chuckle as I realised they were all covering huge claw marks on the drywall and woodwork!

As I dressed I could imagine Bella as some gangster's moll, cleaning up the evidence of recent crimes. 'Hi honey, I'm just running to the store – do you want me to drop your car off for a detail – they have a special on blood and brain matter deep cleans at the moment?' At least I'd never have to worry out her freaking out over some of the weirder parts of pack life. My beautiful Bella, what am I going to do with you? So blissfully perfect, mmnnn. Oh dear, not a good idea man! Think better thoughts – Charlie will be here in a minute - cold custard, school, dirty laundry, Leah and Sam in pain, both injured at my hand – ok, that did it, all good.

I smoothed down my hair and took a deep breath as I heard the cruiser pull up. I went out to the kitchen and gave Bella's hand a squeeze, she looked at me with those perfect heavenly eyes that made me what to kiss her right then and grab her...FOCUS! I took another deep breath and stood by Bella's side as both our dads came in.

Bella rushed straight up to Charlie and wrapped him in a hug. He immediately caught her face and looked at it. Bella gave a big smile, well as big as she could, and nonchalantly shrugged "I fell getting out of Sam's truck_"_.

Charlie sighed and put his arm around her shoulders _"_Well given everything else that happened whilst you were away – if that's the only real damage then I'll take that_"_.

Oh man, in everything else that had happened I totally forgotten about the crazy ass trying to get her drugged up. How did that slip from my head? Oh yeah – the whole lost my mind, got the girl, lost the virginity, got the Alpha thing – that's why I forgot. Think my head might explode soon! I coughed, and asked them both how Harry was doing. They reported that he seemed fine but then I already knew that from the elders, I felt it best to let dad and Charlie chat about it to Bella whilst we ate. Dad and Charlie told us about the tests they had run and the new medicine they had given him. Harry was supposed to have a night in for observation and if all was well could then go home tomorrow. Bella seemed really relieved. Then she proceeded to tell them all about the trip to Jacksonville.

After we had stuffed our faces, I leaned back and looked at Charlie dead in the eye for the first time since he'd arrived. "Can I get a word with you for a few minutes sir?"

Charlie's eyes widened, I knew that would catch his attention. I hadn't called him sir for a long time. He nodded and followed me out the front door. We took a walk down to my workshop.

Charlie sat down on one of the seats and looked at me hard. "It's been a long time since you've said that to me son_"_

I grabbed a cloth and began absently rubbing a cylinder part I had been cleaning a few days ago. "It's been a long time since I've had something this serious to say".

I looked up at him them, and he nodded at me to continue. "You know there is no way I can ever thank you for everything you did for me over those years. And in all honesty, given the debt I owe you for that, there is no way I should ever ask you for anything else as long as I live".

Charlie looked at me then rolled his eyes, "Son, it was never about debt or owing, it was just what needed to be done. I always said if there was anything you needed from me, all you had to do was ask"_._

I took a deep breath, "I hope you meant that Charlie, because I'm about to ask you for the only thing I afraid you might ever refuse me".

"What kind of madness has gotten into you recently son? Why do you think I would refuse you anything?_"_ Charlie looked at me with such intensity that I felt as if my whole soul was laid bare to him. This was the man who had held me every time I had nightmares and didn't want to upset my dad. This was the man could see right through every barrier I put up against the whole world.

"Because I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough, because I'm not that good at school, because I don't have flash car and a credit card and I have to work every weekend just to spring for movie tickets and a meal, because I can't give her the world and I want to so bad". I felt like my heart was tearing as I realised that every word was true. I could give her nothing but myself, and she was worth so much more than that.

Charlie smiled, "Son, I'm never going to want any man near my baby girl. But if I had to pick someone who I could just about tolerate to be responsible for her, then I would probably pick someone just like you. I've watched you try so hard to fix her, put her back together. I've turned a blind eye to some things just so that you could reach out to her_."_

I took a breath, my first in several minutes – a blind eye to what exactly?

_"_Let me tell you this though son, you ever put her on a bike by herself again without a helmet and I will castrate you with a blunt hunting knife, do I make myself clear!_"_ Charlie's voice was stern and I tried to look at him but the guilt made it hard to meet his eye.

"Yes, sir, of course it will never, I would never..." I mumbled.

"I know son, but she will wrap you around her finger so tight that sometimes you might forget what the right thing to do is_."_ He was staring at me intently again and I felt my face colour.

We both knew that this was not just about the bikes, and I hung my head in shame. I wouldn't, couldn't lie to him, protesting my innocence yet I knew Charlie well enough to know that most of the time he simply preferred not to have to acknowledge things.

"You do right by her, and keep her safe, and you'll have no trouble with me_". _He smiled then climbing out the seat and standing up.

Then his face suddenly darkened and when he spoke next it reminded me of how he talked to the social services woman _"_But you will make sure that Cullen boy never gets near her again you hear, I get a feeling we haven't seen the last of him, and next time I want you to do whatever it takes to keep him away._"_

I squared my shoulders, flexing myself up to my full new height and build. I towered far over Charlie and let my full Alpha sense wash over me, giving me strength and confidence...and power. I extended my hand to the man I considered my second father. As he shook it I solemnly promised him, "I will guard her until the very last breath leaves my body". He nodded and side by side we made our way back to the house.

As we stepped through the front door Charlie paused for a moment and turned to wink at me. He called out to Bella who was up on a stool in the kitchen trying to put away the lasagne dish in a top cupboard. "So when's this wedding then?_"_

I saw her eyes widen in horror, and then terrifyingly I felt her fall before my eyes even registered it happening. I leapt from the doorway, clearing the counter at lightning speed to slide in underneath her, breaking her fall as she tumbled down backwards, coming to a sliding stop as my head crunched against the cabinet, cradling my beloved in my arms.

Charlie dashed forward muttering apologies and 'only joking' as he helped Bella to her feet.

I rubbed my head and straightened up "Let's not use those breaths up too quickly now Charlie" and shot him a knowing grin, which he returned.

He continued ribbing Bella as he loaded her into the cruiser. I hovered, not quite sure of how to act, I mean I had just executed a pretty inhuman act in front of the guy.

He turned after closing her door and smiled again "Damn good catch son, damn good catch_"_.

I leant down to Bella's window and pecked her on the forehead. "Can I say goodnight later?"

She caught my hand and stroked her fingertips along the back, "I'll be waiting_"_.

I shivered down my spine, how long exactly was 'eventually'?


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Wish I owned Twilight - I'd never leave La Push :) but unfortunately it all belongs to Meyer!**

Ok, today truly can't get much weirder. I sank down on the couch and stared at my dad. I rubbed my head over my head. I hated how I couldn't push my fingers through my hair anymore that always used to calm me down. I just feel, well, completely overloaded, yet oddly calm, like all of this just makes sense. Dad is still just staring at me, which is not so cool. I can tell he wants to say something

"So what's new with you dad?' Let me break the ice, get this rolling now.

"Well my son suddenly did a complete about turn on his refusal to be the Alpha, shall we start there?_"_ His tone was light but I could hear the seriousness behind it.

"Sure did," I paused, trying to gauge what he was thinking, then I gave up – I was too tired, just come out with it please. "So what's troubling you?"

"The Elders accepted Sam for what he was, he did a good job, he tried hard and we all commended him for that, but there was no real expectation of him_"_. Dad stopped them, frowning.

I leaned further back into the couch and heard it creak underneath me. I could already see where this was leading. Some of it was clear just from the meeting with the Elders earlier. Basically they had cut Sam some slack, let him try and mould us together but without too much formality attached to it. But my gig was going to be harder, more work, more rules. It made sense, as much as I didn't like it. The stories I had heard at the bonfire made the Alpha sound like the leader of the tribe, the leader of the Elders even, yet although the Elders had met with Sam and consulted him, there was definitely no way he had been asked to lead.

I decided to cut to the chase. It was time to man up for all of this. I had no excuses now. I was imprinted, and mated. I had my Queen by my side and I needed to do this for her, for everyone that was going to count on me, rely on me for their safety and protection. I leant forward resting my elbows on my knees and clasped my hands together. I looked straight at my dad "So tell me everything you want me to be".

It was dark by the time we finished and I breathed a heavy sigh as I stepped into the cool night air. I drew in another deep breath before phasing in to my pack for the first time as its Alpha. I could sense them all on the cliffs and I stretched up to my new size, I registered that Leah was not with them and I was grateful for this, our time to talk was later, once she was fully recovered. Tonight this was between me and my brothers. As I ran to join them I could feel the extra power coursing through my body, every leap was higher, every stretch was further. I burst into the clearing where they had settled and stood tall in front of them. I felt my whole body tingling, like electricity was zipping across my skin.

"Dude you are huge!_"_

"Wow, so Jake's the new boss then_"_

"Cool, time to PARTY!_"_

The words and images babbled around them, Embry and Quil were thinking about how we could go back to lounging around the garage, Paul was planning time to go chase some skirt, Jared was just thinking about spending more time with Kim, only Sam and Seth were silent. I found myself quickly getting frustrated. What is this - they thought it was time for an easy ride? That I wasn't going to care about patrols and training? Just let them hang out and have fun all the time. Is that what they actually think of me? Am I some goof-off layabout? Do they think that I don't care about my pack, my family, my people, my land. How dare they!

"ENOUGH" I roared, throwing my anger at them all. "HEAR ME NOW"

I pulled the conversation I had with dad to my mind and threw it at them. I slammed the information into them over and over again, the roles, the responsibilities, the expectations. Their minds grew quiet under the onslaught I was subjecting them to and I gradually eased the intensity of the communication.

Slowly, one by one each on them dropped to their stomachs in front of me. The Alpha wolf in me recognised the submission and I turned to the last wolf still standing, I could feel his anger, his rage at the thought of submitting to me and I called him out.

"You have something to say Paul, a point to make?"

"You seem to forget that you are a child to me. A little bit of magic and you strip the power from a man I respected and expect me to bow to a child, a child who imprints on a leechlover!_" _Paul's disgust poured through our minds and I heard Sam try to appease him.

"YOU QUESTION MY BIRTHRIGHT? YOU QUESTION THE SPIRITS?" I roared.

Something hummed inside me, I felt like I was sitting on a volcano of energy. I flexed my body. I was nearly twice his size now. I could force him physically to submit but something inside me told me this was not enough, that this wolf in front of me was a weak link in the chain, a threat to the cohesion of our pack, a threat to my beloved. It was my duty to eliminate a threat. His submission would be absolute.

I focussed my attention solely onto Paul, locking the others out of our communication. I don't know how I did it, but I could see the confusion and fear register on the others as our thoughts became unavailable to them. I centred myself and gave Paul my full attention.

"So you want to play one-on-one then, bring it on little boy!_" _Paul goaded.

He expected us to fight. I could see his body tense, his muscles readying themselves. I closed my eyes and wrapped the power around my memories, around the dark place that now lived inside the mind of the Alpha in me. I coated it with my strength, fed it with my energy and with a deep breath forced it into the mind of the angry wolf in front of me. His body reacted as if electrocuted, rearing into the air before convulsing violently. I held him there mentally, pinned inside the hell that I no longer feared. I felt the darkness as I held it, I understood it now. I remembered back to the conversation with my dad, the part I hadn't shared with the others, the part I exposed to Paul now.

Paul had fallen to the ground, his body continuing to convulse, his eyes had rolled back in his head and I saw Sam and Jared move to help him. With a sweep I silently bound them all into place. I was beginning to grasp my Alpha power now and I was no longer relying on words or thoughts. I was just a channel, whereas Sam had issued 'his' commands verbally, I simply channelled 'the energy', it wasn't mine, it's was the Alphas who had gone before me and those who would come after me. It was older than stories and more powerful than any man who tried to own it.

The energy had shown me the darkness and unlike Sam and the others believed, it was not the fear that I would lose Bella that had compelled me into it. The energy had shown me, just as it had shown me the future of my imprinting, that one day I WOULD lose her, and that the darkness would be waiting for me when that day came. That was what gave me the strength now, the knowledge that during my time of power I had to carry out all of the duties in front of me so that the spirits would look kindly on me and have the darkness swallow me quickly. I looked at Paul now with the same graveness with which Dad had looked at me.

"Do you understand now why I will not fail? Do you see what awaits me? That is why I stand before you as your leader and you will submit to me, because I have the strength to carry the pain that would bring you to your knees. I have the strength to walk on whilst others would lie down and weep. I AM YOUR ALPHA AND YOU WILL YIELD TO ME!"

I pulled the darkness back inside me, locking it back into the place that Bella had given me, back behind the comforting shield of her warmth, her touch, her love. Once it was hidden away again I open my mind back up to the others, drawing in again the babble of thoughts, listening to the shocks and disbelief as Paul crawled towards me on his stomach before baring his neck to me. I could have marked him, hurt him but I figured that my pack already bared enough scars from my anger, his trip into my mind had been enough of a warning so instead I lightly tapped my nose on the top of his head.

I walked away from them then, silently granting Embry the lead on the training whilst Jared and Quil ran the patrol. I wanted to leave them to their thoughts and discussions, give them space to come to terms with the events of the day. I began to run now, my heart beating faster as I closed the distance between myself and my beloved. I thought back to the last words my father spoke to me tonight as I had helped him into bed -

"Make every moment count_"._


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I'm now glad I don't own Twilight as Meyer clearly has more experience with people being disappointed with her storylines!**

[Bella POV]

I was sitting on my bed, no, correction I was hovering on my bed. Jake had said he would come and say goodnight but now I was torn as to what to do. Charlie was dozing in his chair in front of some sports programme downstairs. I had opened my window, and then closed my window, and then opened it again about 8 times now. It's just a window, why am I stressing about this? But it's not just a window, it's like it's a symbol. Edward always used the window, just appearing and disappearing at will. It was his choice and once again I was forced to acknowledge that it was also his control. He exerted his right to hide from Charlie, to allude Charlie, almost…to think of himself as better than Charlie.

But this was Jake, my Jake. I still didn't know what had been said between them in the garage but this was different. Jake respected Charlie, I could see that already. I could also see that there was much more to their relationship than I had any idea of. I had expected 'the talk' to be an embarrassing experience for us all, with Charlie carrying on and laying down the law, but what I got instead was the sense that there was a relationship between my Jake and my father that was completely separate to me and also nothing to do with me. It was all very odd, and whilst I really wanted to know more, I also felt it would be somewhat disrespectful to them both to pry.

But that brings me back round to the window. If my Jake comes to say goodnight by the window, is that….will that damage his relationship with Charlie…will it change things between them, will he come to think of Charlie like Edward did…do I want that? I don't think I do, but then if I close the window will he think that I don't trust him like I trusted Edward, that he's not special enough to have free access to me? Open or closed, open or closed?

"The hinge will wear out if you keep doing that_"_.I leapt about a foot in the air, spinning around and promptly losing my balance as his hand shot out to catch me.

"Jake, but Charlie…?" How? What? Jake smiled a huge smile. Then he furrowed his brow and put on a stern face waggling his finger at me, "Door stays open!" before collapsing onto my bed and holding out his arms.

I turned back to the window, and closed it. I noticed a little key in the handle that I hadn't even realised was there. I turned the key and the handle firmly locked in place. No more windows for Bella. I climbed onto the bed and let him wrap me in his huge arms.

"Did you see everyone?" I asked quietly. I had been worried, I still didn't understand the whole leader thing but I figured that some of them might not take the change very well. Jake just nodded, he looked so tired that his eyes were already closing.

"And Leah, did you see Leah?" I hadn't wanted to ask before. I don't know quite how things are going to be between them after that big fight. Jake shook his head slightly.

"Thought we'd go see her tomorrow, together, if that's cool?_"_ His breathing slowed suddenly as his eyes shut. I nestled against him, together – I loved the sound of that word.

I heard movement and instinctively my body tensed as Charlie came to the door. He nodded, looking at Jake's sleeping form. "Couple of ground rules – not on a school night, not if Billy needs him, and not with this door closed_"_.

My mouth hung open. All comprehension of reality was just slipping away. Charlie was talking to me, with a man asleep in my bed and it was ok by him.

"Dad, I mean…I don't understand….but…thank you" I mumbled my way through the words. I just don't get it, truly I don't.

"He's special that one – and he is going to need you more than you know just yet. But special or not, no more creeping around nonsense, ok?" He gestured towards the window and my face burned, Edward hadn't evaded Charlie, hadn't concealed himself. Oh my god, Charlie had known all along.

I stared at Charlie now as he nodded goodnight and left the room, exactly how much did he know? Luckily the warmth of Jake's arms began to pull me into sleep otherwise that thought would have definitely kept me up all night.

I awoke to the feeling of suddenly being cold, my eyes flew open and I sat up. Jake was nowhere to be seen. I headed downstairs looking around. I almost fell over Charlie as I walked into the kitchen.

"Oh sorry Dad, I was just looking…" I trailed off, feeling a bit sheepish, "Sorry, Good morning".

"Morning Bells, he's not here_"._ He kissed me lightly on the top of my head.

"Oh, ok." I slumped into the chair, I thought we were going to see Leah, or had I misunderstood? Why did he leave? Didn't he want to say good morning as well? Oh god. Did I talk in my sleep again? Did I say something that upset him? Why would he just disappear?

"You look just like Renee when you do that_"_. Charlie's voice brought me back to the moment. "Do what?"

"Sit there thinking about the million things we might mean by the one thing we did_."_ He looked at me pointedly then, raising his eyebrows, almost daring me to disagree.

Ok, who stole my father yesterday and replaced him with this man that sees things, knows things and even more disturbingly – talks about things!

"Do you remember when you broke your leg in Phoenix last year? What happened every morning and every evening_?"_ He paused, then shrugged on his jacket.

"Have fun_". _Charlie headed out the door with a smile, leaving me to my bewilderment.

I thought back to last year, coming home from Phoenix, why would Charlie bring that up? God that had been a whole heap of hassle, that huge plaster cast I had to drag around everywhere. If it hadn't been for Alice… It all crashed down on me in one fail swoop, Alice lifting me effortlessly in and out of chairs and bed, Alice showering me and getting my clothes on, all of those tasks that just happen so easily, in a few minutes, taking embarrassing amounts of time to do the most simple things. That was Jake's life, every day. On hand to Billy the way Alice had been to me.

I was startled, shocked even. He made life seem so effortless, so simple even though he was juggling responsibilities I couldn't even imagine. Sure I had taken care of Renee, but that was a different kind of thing more of an emotional and practical arrangement, and with Charlie it was really just the practical – dinners, laundry, general housework. But Jake was juggling something so much bigger, Billy was dependant on him, he didn't just help him out, he was there for whatever was needed. I put my hand to my head feeling so overwhelmed. When Leah had spoke about being tied to the res I thought I had understood, but this was so much deeper than that, Jake at his beautifully innocent [well not so innocent anymore] tender age was responsible for his father, his pack, his reservation, everything. He truly was special and I felt like the luckiest girl alive.

I resolved in that moment to do everything I could to make it easier for him. I began to buzz around the kitchen, rustling up a breakfast fit for a king, well a hungry wolf at least. Suddenly warm hands came to rest on my hips and a huge warm body pressed against my back.

"Something smells wonderful in here_"_. He whispered in my ear.

Hot kisses were peppering my neck, his hands were making slow lazy circles across my stomach and back. I ached for him. I craved him. I turned around, my back arching with desire as his hands caressed me as I moved. I stared into his eyes as he inhaled deeply.

"My mistake, now that smells wonderful_"._

I flushed immediately, realising his meaning, drawing myself back slightly from him. I felt so confused. I wanted to take my time, I did I mean didn't I…no I did, I definitely did. I had so much to learn about him. Even this morning had proved that. He tensed as well, I saw his face fall.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that…I know what… what we said…what you said…I'm sorry. It's just…_"_ he mumbled.

"...so hard to resist" I finished for him breathlessly.

I wanted him to understand that this wasn't one-sided. That this wasn't some punishment just for him, it was going to be hard for both of us but it would be worth it.

"It's hard for you too?_"_ He asked shyly, those were the moments, the few brief seconds in all of this when his true innocence made itself known, behind this huge exterior of a protector wolf.

"Have you looked in the mirror recently? Just be grateful this is Charlie's house otherwise you would be chained to my bed so I could do despicable things to you 24 hours a day!" I didn't give him a chance to respond simply pecking him chastely on the lips, putting his plate on the table and dancing away to the shower.

When I came back down, dressed and ready for the day Jake was still standing in the kitchen. He walked, no, he stalked towards me and I bit my lip shyly.

"That_"_ he started sternly "was not fair_". _

I smiled sweetly at him. He couldn't still be cross about that little comment could he? He moved closer to me still, I could feel how it made my heartbeat increase suddenly. He leant close to my ear.

"You were right yesterday, there are things you need to know…_" _he paused and my breath caught, it was intoxicating having him so close to me.

"Like how good my sense of smell is…_" _He ran his nose down my neck, so he had definitely smelt my…feelings…earlier.

"Like how good my hearing is…_"_ Hold on, hearing what did he mean…was he listening to me….he did hear….

"And that a wolf will feel….certain things…_" _Feel what? The way he was talking was igniting me again.

"Like his imprint's fear…and pain_"_ he paused again, my knees were so weak from the husky sound of his voice I wasn't sure how they were still holding me up.

"….and pleasure" He whispered the last word in my ear as he gripped me round the waist, my eyes widened in disbelief….so he had just heard and felt my 'private moment' in the shower. I felt horrifically embarrassed yet undeniably turned on by this.

He stepped back now, regaining his composure. _"_So next time, a little warning would be a good idea, as I would have hated to have to explain to Charlie quite why I found your breakfast that…enjoyable._"_

I was absolutely stunned, the thought of what had just transpired quite literally took my breath away and I couldn't believe it was possible.

It was then that I caught sight of something bundled in his hand. He followed my gaze. "I need to wash your tablecloth_"._


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Starting to feel slightly envious again of Meyer as she does own all of Twilight!**

I was still breathing heavy as we made our way out to the truck. I think my face will probably stay red for the rest of the day. I stopped as I got outside, taking in the sight before me. My truck was gleaming! I mean don't get me wrong it's still my old truck but looked so shiny and clean I could barely take my eyes of it. I turned and stared at Jake in amazement. He smiled and shrugged.

"It kept me busy while you were…_"_ he trailed off, the smile disappearing for a moment.

I still couldn't fathom how I'd been so blind and how much my stumbling around must have hurt him. The smile crept back in though and I flushed even deeper. All through the drive we barely spoke, I would just turn every so often and see him looking at me, the grin playing on his face and an amazed look in his eyes. A couple of times he just started to shake his head before chuckling quietly and rubbing his hands over his face with a low 'Oh boy'. Each time I shifted around in my seat more and more embarrassed but also fighting the urge to pull the truck over to the side of the road and just leap on him. The idea of us being so completely in tune with each other, so utterly connected well, it was just getting me very hot and bothered.

I was extremely grateful when we pulled up outside the Clearwater's and I leant against the side of the truck taking large deep breaths trying to calm myself. My resolve was starting to show cracks, deep gaping craters now. I couldn't deny how much it just felt so right to be with him, and the knowledge that all I would have to do would be to make the move and I could have it all again in a heartbeat was overwhelming me. I realised that I had never really learnt to control myself. When I was with Edward, even if I would start to feel a little bit…forward…he would immediately apply the brakes. His control had taken all of the decisions out of it for me. Now it truly was my decision. I could feel the hunger in Jake's eyes when he was with me, and I knew that if all of his responsibilities were taken care of and he was alone with me, it would only be the respect that he felt for my decision that would stop us. But when he looked at me like that, and talked to me like he had this morning, well I'm not sure how long that decision is going to hold for.

He was in front of me now, holding his hand out and I clasped it tightly as we walked up to the door. Sue had clearly heard us pull up and was standing on the step smiling welcomingly. She pulled me into a hug and greeted Jake with a very respectful tone, almost as if he was an authority figure. I glanced between them surprised but realised that yet again I still had so much to learn about what had taken place recently.

"I've got a pie, fresh out of the oven with your name on it Jacob, why don't you come and get some before the others catch the smell and Bella can go and see if Leah's up and ready_"._ Sue was bustling Jake into the kitchen and I could hear his excited tones _"_Apple or Cherry?_"_ That man and food I smiled to myself as I climbed the stairs to Leah's room.

She was lying on bed reading when I came in, headphones on and clearly tuning the world out. I breathed out heavily, sighing in relief at her apparent lack of permanent injury. She must have sensed me then as she spun around, pulling the headphones off and gripped me into a huge tight warm hug. I coughed and spluttered "Need to breathe Leah"!

She released me then, standing back to take me in. "Oh My God, you're really here, I thought I was never going to be allowed to see you again!" she gasped.

She hugged me again tightly whilst I stood confused. "What are you talking about? Why wouldn't you see me? Are you grounded?"

Leah laughed then, "No you know, you're the imprint of the true Alpha, I'm the pack's pain in the ass, forbidden to ever see each other again, that kind of thing_"._

She stopped and looked serious then, _"_Oh God, does he know you're here? Did anyone see you? She was looking panicked and I was becoming more and more confused.

"Leah, stop, slow down, you're losing me. What are you talking about? Of course Jake knows I'm here, he's downstairs having pie with your mum". She clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide and darting around.

She dragged me over to the bed and pulled the cover over us whispering quietly in my ear "Is he mad at me? I mean I know I've taken some chances before but after what Seth said went about last night, especially with Paul, I'm not sure what's waiting for me_"._

I was so utterly baffled and this was starting to make me very concerned, she really really seemed afraid of Jake, and what did she mean about Paul? Why would she think I was 'forbidden' to see her? Suddenly I felt her whole body tense next to me.

"When you've quite finished whispering about me do you think we can have a conversation without the blankets?_"_ Jake's strong voice filled the room and I was really shocked that I could feel Leah trembling beside me.

As we climbed out from under the covers I could see Leah was now stood up straight but with her head hung down and her eyes cast to the floor. I didn't like the posture, it made me feel really uncomfortable, uneasy…slightly dirty somehow.

Jake stood up from where he was leaning against the doorframe and walked into the room.

_"_Sit_". _His tone was so absolute, so powerful, so not my sweet innocent Jake.

Bile rose in my throat as Leah dropped to the floor. I really didn't like this. I could understand what she meant, all the things she had talked about. I could make sense of what Sam had said about why things had to be controlled, but Leah was right, it was as if it was written around guys, but standing here, seeing that control applied to a woman, a female friend of mine, it took on a whole new level, the connotations were appalling me, I felt disgusted.

Jake looked at me now, I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. I loved him with all my heart and soul and my God I trusted him implicitly but I was afraid right now, afraid that if he carried this on I would lose respect for him, that his interaction with Leah had the potential to hurt us and that made my heart ache violently.

"Do you see what her life is? Do you see what I am to her?_" _His tone was still powerful, but there was a touch of ... was it despair? His words startled me and hot tears escaped from my eyes. I looked at Leah and saw the tears on her face too, the humiliation.

There was a sudden crackle, like static in the room and the atmosphere shifted dramatically. Jake was moving towards Leah, his hand outstretched helping her up from the floor. He paused then gently brushed his hand across her face wiping her tears away. He led her back to the bed and motioned for her to sit down next to me. He reached out to my tears and I clutched his hand as he wiped mine also. Jake pulled a chair from the desk and sat down in front of us, his demeanour serious yet not as threatening as a moment before.

"I'm sorry to have done that_"_ he said, looking at Leah _"_but she needed to know_"._ He was gesturing towards me and Leah nodded but stayed silent.

_"_There are things you both need to understand, about all of this, about me, about each other and about yourselves. I have been thinking hard about this…situation_"_ he motioned to the two of us and I took one of Leah's hands in my own.

I saw Leah open her mouth. _"_Before you start Leah, this is not about the trip. This is not about your actions at my house, although we will discuss those later. This is something much more fundamental to the pack._"_ He sounded so serious, so wise that I was completely thrown.

"I have three problems in front of me, Firstly, there is you Leah_" _she flinched at this, her eyes were glistening again.

_"_You are not happy_"_ Leah's face tilted in confusion, her eyes flicking between us. She seemed as confused as I was.

_"_You don't like to work with the guys as you don't like being inside their minds and having them inside yours. Also, you don't like the submission, and I am fully aware that it is more powerful than it was with Sam and I apologise again if that made you feel particularly uncomfortable_". _I breathed out then, so he knew it felt wrong. Oh thank goodness, I felt ashamed for having doubted him even for that second and the pain in my heart seemed healed instantly.

He turned his attention to me "I know you were afraid, I felt it. You need to trust me, with the guys it works differently. It doesn't feel like that, that…dirtiness?" He looked at myself and Leah for confirmation and we both nodded.

_"_You can see why it's a problem. Do you think I want that in front of the other guys?_"_ Leah was shaking her head, and my heart went out to her, she really didn't fit in.

"My second problem is also with you Leah_"_ he didn't pause this time when she hunched her shoulders.

_"_You are the female role-model for the Quileute, for any other females who may phase in the future_". _Leah's eyes grew wide at this.

_"_It is my responsibility to ensure that all of the pack act as role-models, but you Leah, how are you going to do that when you never finished High School? I know you dropped out with the stress over Sam but you are so smart that you doing nothing with yourself it is just not acceptable_"._

I was stunned and I looked over at Leah, she dropped out? She had never mentioned it during the whole time we were together. I had just assumed she couldn't go to college because of needing to be at the res, but to not finish school, that was just crazy.

I didn't have a chance to dwell on it any longer as suddenly Jake turned himself to me again. _"_Which brings me to my third problem…you_"_ He gathered my hands in his and looked into my eyes so deeply that I felt I was drowning in his, why was I a problem? What had I done?

_"_You are the love of my existence, you are the reason I breathe and as both of you have already seen, you will be the reason I fall_"_ I drew in a deep breath, my eyes prickling as I thought of him lying helpless on the bed.

"I will need to protect you, as much as you may dislike that but I will try to do it in a way that you do not feel smothered or controlled by it. I thought long and hard this morning and I can discretely ensure your safety most of the time. Except for at one place…now initially I thought maybe I could just stop you going, or change where you go to so that it's more convenient for me. But I realised that would never suit your independence, and I've already seen firsthand what you'll do when I annoy you so…_."_ He paused leaning back in the chair.

"I'm willing to make a deal with the two of you_"_ I exchanged glances with Leah, he had definitely pushed our interest buttons and I knew personally that I would do anything to avoid being controlled or having no freedom, in fact anything that would remind me of how I had felt when Edward ... I trailed off inside my head as Jake spoke again.

"I am willing to grant Leah freedom" Leah made a sound that was a cross between a hiccup, a sigh and a nervous laugh.

_"_Of course you will still need to phase occasionally for training, and if there is an emergency. But you would not need to run patrols, nor attend meetings in your wolf form unless you wished to. You will hold your place as part of the pack and in the eyes of the Elders as you will be carrying out a special assignment_._"

I inhaled sharply, freedom - Leah would be free from everything she hated, without feeling that she abandoned her heritage. I could see she was just as excited, she was beginning to bounce up and down on the bed.

_"_So what do I have to do?_"_ her tone was breathless, almost bordering on hyper.

Jake looked at her sternly, "You have to go back to school_."_

She stopped bouncing, confusion crossing her face. _"_That's it?_"_

A grin stretched across Jake's face, the first I had seen since he had come into the room. This was my Jake, not the pack's Alpha Jake, who to be honest was actually a little bit scary.

"Well, there's still her part_"_, he nodded at me.

"So what's my part of the deal?" I queried.

Jake leaned back in the chair fully, stretching his arms over his head and folding his hands behind his neck. "She has to go back to school_"_.

I stopped, but that was her part, what? I processed for a second. Leah had to go back to school, he wanted to protect me but didn't want to stop me going to one place that he couldn't protect me…oh you've got to be kidding. Could he be anymore perfect? I leapt from the bed into his lap smothering his face with kisses. He was giving me the choice, albeit knowing that I wouldn't refuse Leah her freedom but this way all of us could get what we wanted. I could have time with Leah without it taking from time with Jake, Leah would graduate and be a good role-model and be free from all of the duties that upset her and Jake could get on with things knowing that I was in good hands. How blissfully perfect.

"Sorry, still confused over here?_"_ Leah politely interrupted my kissing fest.

"Leah, you're going back to school…you know…with me…in Forks…I'll be your 'special assignment'".

Leah's eyes grew huge, she twisted from me to Jake and then back again. "Seriously? No are you, I mean is this for real?"

Jake answered her then with a glint in his eye. _"_I'm deadly serious, you managed to keep her alive during the trip to Jacksonville, now you get to prove to the pack and the Elders and to me that you can keep that up 5 days a week, every week that school is open, starting from when we go back on Monday_"._

Leah looked at me hesitantly. I could quickly tell she was remembering everything I had said about the dangers that seemed to line up at my door. "Girl we are going to have to set some rules or you will be the death of me!_"_


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Meyer owns twilight, I merely spun a twist on her characters!**

[Jake POV]

Man, that hadn't gone exactly as I had planned it. I was all set to have a nice chat with Leah, thank her for waking me up and essentially getting me and Bells together then try and sell both of them on my school plan. How had it managed to get so seriously freaky in the middle?

I had been all cool. I was making short work of that apple pie, Sue always got me with the pie. I think it was the cinnamon; she uses a lot more than most people so it just tastes sooo spicy and good. Anyway, there I am content in my cinnamon apple heaven when bang, that part of my heart and soul that is specifically labelled 'Bella' just starts humming with fear. I don't even remember moving I was outside Leah's room so fast. Then I hear it all, the two of them whispering away and Bella's fear is doubling, it's making me ache inside as I start to realise that she's afraid of me. I get that it's not the 'me' me she afraid of, but Leah has got her freaking about the Alpha me.

As soon as I spoke I realised how bad this was going to be. Leah couldn't help but react to my words as if they were a command. I mean I wasn't even trying to 'Alpha' her out from under the blankets but it was already there and she's locked into the submission pose. The feeling I got from Bella hit me like a truck, and I almost cried out in pain. She was uncomfortable with me, no it was more than that; she really didn't trust me in that moment and it made my heart ache so bad. It threw all my ideas for chats and trying to convince them out of the window. I could lie. I could try and cover this up some way, but for what? This is who I am now. Bella needs to see all of me, every part that makes me up so she knows what she's getting into, no later surprises. I made my mind up then, if you are concerned now – then you need to see it all, know what I am capable of – know what's inside of me, you've seen me hurt people I care about, now you need to know that I can control them on a whim but my God Bells, you have to trust me, believe in me, know that I will never ever abuse the power I have been granted or channel the energy for anything other than the good of my people.

I gave the command, the last I prayed I'd ever need to issue to Leah. It was just the word 'sit' but there was something so skin-crawlingly gross about it. If I could keep her off patrols then she wouldn't get into the fights and the rows and then I'd never need to bind her up to calm it down. Seriously, I could do without ever feeling this again. Don't get me wrong I could see how some guys might find it almost a buzz, get some serious thrills out of this, but maybe it was just the way I was brought up, Mum and my sisters around me, it just made me feel like some sick old guy in a dirty old coat hanging around a school. It was also the men that raised me – Dad and Charlie, I mean even when Renee had skipped town, Charlie had never even said so much as cuss word towards her. They respected woman, and raised me to do the same. Having this kind of power over Leah just felt so very wrong. I bet this was why there had never been a female in a pack before.

If Bella had been feeling scared before, this quadrupled as Leah hit the floor. I nearly keeled over from the way my heart was hurting me right now. But in a way I was relieved. I mean, if she could see me, be with me, the Alpha me, as I made the decisions for the pack, for my people I'd never be able to get it wrong, it would hurt me too much through her. I would never be able to lose sight of what was right or get too wrapped up in a power trip because what she was feeling right now was burning my heart like acid.

When I released the command and apologised to them both it was like cooling water cleaning my soul. I felt refreshed, alive and totally clear on how to move forward with them. The bargain was almost easy then and I had felt so blissfully happy when Bella accepted. I still needed to sit down with Leah and talk to her properly, but with her feeling free hopefully there wouldn't be anything yucky there anymore. I was still a little nervous about being around her by myself. I mean, I didn't know how Bella would feel about it. It's not like there are any other women in my life, and now we are officially together, I'm not even sure if it is ok for a guy to be alone with another woman. Wow I seriously have so little dating experience. I'll have to ask Bella what the 'done' thing is. I mean would I be cool with her being around other guys, well sure, except of course HIM, I don't even want her in the same state as that leech; and that overly-eager guy from her work, Mitch was is? I'm not too keen on him after that night at the movies; well and Quil, although I'm sure that should be cleared up now, I mean she's my imprint, he wouldn't try anything now. But even though I still find it hard to get some of his day-dreams about her out of my head when he's around. Maybe Bella and I can make an agreement about that kind of stuff. I guess that's probably what couples do. Wow, I never get tired of that surprise, as it hits me again that I'm finally with the girl of my dreams.

I met up with some of the Elders who have some swing over the school stuff. Harry headed straight over to meet with us when they released him from hospital rather than going home, bet Sue won't be too pleased with him. He seems really excited about Leah going back to school and her taking a different role in the pack. Think the guy will just be pleased with a bit of peace and quiet for a while. The Elders have pointed out that the rest of the pack aren't exactly hitting the A grade in class either. I mean I know my grades suck royally at present but it seems like the whole pack is barely keeping it above flunking. Yet another something I need to think about. There's a lot of talk, I find it hard to stay tuned in to all of it, especially when they all start talking at once.

Suddenly, right in the middle of it all a howl cuts straight across the breeze. I know in a heartbeat that's Jared and he's down on the south perimeter. I'm out of the Lodge and phased in a second, pulling the thoughts in as I go. Jared and Seth have hit a fresh trail and in a few moments I hear the whole pack pulling in. My mind feels sharper, clearer now. It's like just knowing that Leah's zone is completely on Bella gives me complete focus to be totally in the moment here. I was kind of praying that it would have been that horny leech back for another visit. I would have enjoyed giving him a taste of the new Alpha in me. But by the time we've honed it down it's clear that the scent is not the same. We rounded it up pretty quick, it's a female, I still don't know all that much about the specifics of leeches but it looks kind of...fresh...like maybe it's not that old, it sort of stumbles around rather than that whole zip zap thing the horny freak had going on.

I settle now, scanning to check for other as I let the others get some practice in on it. It's interesting actually, I watch the leech spinning and twisting. I'm actually analysing it like I'm the hunter, learning things about how it moves. I also watch my guys, spotting the flaws in their attacks, things they'll need to train harder on. Embry turns his head too far when he's going for the arms, a more agile leech could get to his neck easily. Seth tries to fight high like the others, going for head and shoulders, but he doesn't have the height and he's off balance slightly, he'd be better fighting low taking out stomach and legs. Paul's anger doesn't help him and it makes it hard for the others to predict what he's doing and so they don't work together as tightly as they should. Sam padded over and settled next to me.

"She's fresh, I mean, brand new, someone made her real close to home_"_. I saw his thoughts and he was trying to imagine her face without the 'leechness', trying to work out if it was someone we might know. That was a grim thought, and it made me shudder.

"If one of them is out there we might need to step it up from just patrols to actually a bit of hunting, you know what I mean. I think it would do the guys some good too, hone some skills, real target practice instead of just relying on training. I'm seeing some weakness out there that an older leech could exploit. I mean this is actually the first take-down the pack has had isn't it".

Sam nodded, and I suddenly felt a wash of shame across his thoughts. "Dude, no you know I didn't mean it like that!" I apologised quickly.

"It's ok Jake, things are very different now. Even I can see that. You are different, the control you have over them is different, it changes everything. I mean it's like we were playing for the reserve team before, we had the kit but weren't put in the game you know. But this, now, it's major league. I'm cool with that, honestly._" _I could tell he meant it but I still felt bad for him.

I surveyed my pack, watching as they cleared the area, setting up the fire and making sure every last bit of that thing burnt. I let my satisfaction be known to them, praising them for a successful hunt and I suggested to Sam that perhaps he and Emily could pull a bonfire together for tomorrow, let the guys celebrate their achievement, and given that it was the last Saturday of the break it made sense to let them have some fun.

After scouting for a while we headed back into the res. As I headed through I could see that Bella's truck was no longer down by the Clearwater's and it hadn't been at mine so I guessed it was likely that she had headed home. I phased and dressed near the back of the house. I could see Charlie was home so I headed round to the front door. I knocked and Charlie opened the door with a smile.

"Hey son, I think you might want to join your dad and me for now_." _Charlie chuckled_. _He was in a good mood and I could see Dad was happily on his third or fourth beer. Oh he was going to be a handful later.

"I can't be in the dog house already can I?" I smiled at him and went to climb the stairs. I suddenly felt his hand on my arm and although I barely registered the pressure I acknowledged that it had been intended to restrain me. I looked to him then, had I done something wrong? I thought Charlie had suggested that he was ok with me being here with Bella. Oh God, I thought back to this morning, had there been evidence, did I miss something, I hadn't had a chance to fix the tablecloth issue, has he realised that I had been here, thinking disgusting thoughts about his daughter whilst revelling in her pleasure and now he was going to bar me from being alone with her?

Suddenly Charlie whispered dramatically "First it was just Bella and Leah, buzzing and zipping around, then another one turned up too, three of them – all gossiping and 'what shall I wear' and 'you'll never guess'. Stay clear boy, when there is just one of them you stand half a chance of being able to say the right thing, once you're outnumbered – well that's what ESPN was made for!_"_

He gestured to the living room and I breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed a juice and several slices of pizza and settled down on the chair, I was able to tune out the sports and settled for enjoying the sound of Bella's laughter as she gossiped with her friends.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Meyer owns Twilight and original Jacob - Super Alpha Jake is a product of my mind!**

[Bella POV]

It had all started to get a bit girly, we were squealing and jumping around and for some reason getting very excited about what clothes Leah was going to wear on Monday. Jake had sat there smiling for a while and had then excused himself to make arrangements with the Council for Leah's immediate return to school. He had given me a kiss on the top of my head and nodded to Leah with a smile. I was absolutely buzzing with questions for her and was almost holding my breath as I heard him going down the stairs. I open my mouth to speak a couple of time but each time she put up a finger, clearly listening to something outside whilst chattering on about different tops from her closet.

Suddenly she threw all the items down on the floor and leapt onto the bed next to me. _"_So tell me everything. I mean everything from when they carted me out!" She exclaimed

"No way girly-wolf, you need to start first, what the hell was all that? I mean I was shaken up but hell, YOU were terrified and what do you mean about Paul. You seriously need to fill me in, everyone is suddenly bowing to him – my father is letting him sleep in my bed, your mother greets him like royalty, spill woman – I can't take it anymore" The words came tumbling out of me, my confusion so pent up inside me.

"Wow, ok Charlie's WHAT? Never mind, that can be part of your story. Ok, so this is all second hand because I wasn't at the meeting last night, but when Seth came in he looked like he'd seen a ghost. I mean it was about 20 minutes before he'd say anything. Look, the main point to understand here is that Jake is not like a Sam-Alpha, this is something crazy big. Jake is playing with some major mojo here. He's doing things that are like beyond the beyond. I mean this is like Super-Alpha or something_."_ She paused for breath, I'm not sure I was breathing at all anymore. My eyes felt huge as I tried to understand it.

"Ok, sorry, I might be losing you a bit. It's just all so much to take in, even for me. Let me start from the simplest thing, ok so the 'wolf mind' you know the joining up of thoughts that sort of thing. Seth said you can't hear Jake unless he wants you to, he can cut you in and out or have everybody in but even then you can't hear his thoughts, can't see his pictures._"_ She looked at me pointedly.

"That's why nobody knows what went on between you two, normally the pictures would have been thrown out there for everyone to see but apparently Quil was mighty disappointed_."_ Leah rolled her eyes.

I looked at her pointedly "What?"

"Don't look so surprised, that boy has been hot for you since the Bella zombie days, him and Jake have fought more than once over it, so he was expecting a full show, bring the popcorn, that sort of thing, but then bam big brick wall instead!_"_ My face burned at the thought of what they could have witnessed. I was extremely glad for this Super-Alpha thing now.

"But he's also crazy powerful, I mean from the moment he was by the door I could see what Seth was talking about, you can feel his power. It is like an aura that surrounds him. Sam never had that, it was just the commands, but Jake's power isn't even words, when we told me to 'sit' that was just so you could hear it, he just had to think it and it was powerful enough to have my butt hit the floor. It's not like Sam's either, you know what I was saying about getting round the binds – there's no way with this one, it's wow, I don't even know what to say, I'm just all sorts of glad that I'm not going to be out there all the time with that_". _She stopped and hugged me and I could feel how fast her heart was beating. I couldn't take this all in. This was my Jake, the angel who fell asleep by my side yesterday.

"So what happened with Paul?" I asked cautiously, not too sure that I even wanted to know.

Leah shrugged _"_That's it, nobody is exactly sure. They all meet up and Jake hits them with this big lecture on roles and responsibilities but Paul's in a funk and not having any of it, the next thing the guys know, none of them can hear Paul and Jake and then Jake's throwing some serious mental power at Paul who's twisting and jerking like he's having a seizure. Some of the guys try to help him and Jake's got them in lock down until Paul is on the ground literally begging for mercy and crawling at the guy's feet. It was heavy duty I tell you. I doubt you'll ever hear that guy run his mouth about you again_."_

I was stunned I mean wow, this was so much to take in. I had been around powerful people, Edward, Alice, Jasper, even James had all had gifts and of course they were super-strong vampires, but it seemed like Jake was involved in something far bigger. It looked like he could have done absolutely anything to Leah earlier. It was almost like mind-control rather than just commands, especially if all he had to do was think it for it to happen. Once again I was struck by just how pleased I was that Leah could be free from this, well as much as possible. For the second time today it weighed heavily on me as I realised how much responsibility Jake actually had, I mean imagine that much power in the hands of someone without Jake's beautiful heart.

We hung out some more, I think Leah could tell I was processing a lot of information so she didn't add anything else in. I loved how well she was able to read me. She'd throw a whole load of heavy stuff at me, not pulling any punches, not editing it or trying to make it 'Bella friendly' or PG-13 and then just stop, go quiet and give me time to process. I'd called Angela when Leah and I had got back to my house. I knew it would be great to get them introduced and used to each other before school started. I think it takes Leah a while to get comfortable with people and she'll probably be heavily on her guard for a while getting used to a new school. Well, and getting used to her new job. I still can't quite believe that I'm a 'special assignment'. Part of me what's to get a bit stroppy about it, but I guess I can really see their point and it does come with such lovely benefits for Leah.

I know it's going to take a while for me to get over what I saw today, but really it's not fair of me to lump all my concerns on Jake whilst he has got so much going on. It just brought up some strange memories of a guy that Renee was seeing for a while, he'd liked a 'certain kind' of DVD and I made the mistake of hitting the play button once without checking what was in the machine. I'd only caught a little bit before the shock wore off and I hit stop but the poor woman on her knees with some kind of strap around her head being spoken to like that gave me nightmares for quite a while. I'd even got quite stressed about guys in general for a bit. I remember the next time I visited Charlie I gone through every DVD and video in the house just to make sure, but all I'd found was an awful lot of fishing shows and some taped ESPN stuff. I hadn't thought about that guy for a long time until today. In some ways it left me a little concerned about Jake and Leah spending time together, even though I knew that was crazy. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a little chat at some point about it all.

When Angela showed up she was initially a little nervous with Leah but pretty soon they were getting along great. We were all having a good laugh about school on Monday when Leah made some reference to Jake. Angela had caught on pretty quickly and soon I was facing a grilling over my new relationship.

"So, is it like majorly serious?_"_ Angela had asked. Leah decided to chip in despite my death glares in her direction. "Well there are rumours amongst the guys on the res of EXTREMELY major seriousness!_"_

"OK ladies, those aren't even words, or grammatical sentences". I tried to bluff my way around the questions, continuing to glare at Leah. However, they were relentless. Eventually giggling outrageously I made my admission in hushed tones "He was my first!"

Both of them grew wide eyed and looked really surprised, oh God I'm terrible, they think I'm such a slut. I mean I know we weren't technically together when it happened but Leah knows about the spiritual connection, surely that must make it ok in her eyes at least.

"Really, but I thought you and Edward, well I guess I just assumed, well I mean Jessica and Lauren did...really he was your first?_" _Angela was the first to speak.

"Wow, and you're like how old now? and seriously...your first...I mean I wouldn't have said anything to him you know_" _Leah chimed in and for a moment I was a little stunned, so everyone thought I'd been at it already, well that was a little weird.

"You know, that's really cool in a way, I mean he's your first and you're going to be together for the rest of your lives...that's kind of poetic almost_"._ Leah seemed a little lost in her thoughts and I coughed slightly, trying to get her to remember that we were in the presence of a non-mythical weirdness knowing people. Luckily Angela didn't seem to have attributed any oddness to the statement. Although I was shocked by Angela's next question. "So was it good?_"_

"I am so not answering that question!" I giggled in disbelief, but the flush on my face was already giving me away.

She caught on immediately "He was wasn't he!_"_ She spun to Leah looking for her assistance "See that look in her eyes, I definitely never had that look after my first time!_"_

Leah laughed her huge dirty laugh and we all collapsed in hysterics. After several minutes of uninterrupted laughing and random gasped statements from the pair of them which I tried not to listen to, Leah put her finger across her lips and shushed us "We've got company_"_. Her serious face threw us back into hysterics and it was several more minutes before we composed ourselves. Angela offered to drop Leah home and this made me really happy, I could see the three of us having some great fun when school started.

We all bounced down the stairs and I could see Charlie and Billy happy in front of the TV. My heart did a little flip as I saw Jake rising up out of the chair with a grin on his face. I knew they had all been out on a chase. That was why Leah had come with me when I headed home, but it was so reassuring to have him back with me again. Leah made a hesitant move towards him. I think they were both still a little uneasy with each other. "So how was the hunting trip?_"_ she asked politely.

Jake smiled "Good, the guys made a kill_"_.

My heart made another little flip, so there had really been a risk, oh God they had actually been fighting. I still couldn't quite get settled with the idea.

Jake gave me a little half-smile and I was caught off-guard remembering what he had said about being able to sense my fear. I took a deep breath and smiled back. He turned his attention back to Leah."We were thinking of throwing a bonfire together tomorrow, do you think your mom will make some pies?_"_ Leah smiled and nodded heading towards the door.

I took the opportunity to introduce Angela and Jake again, although they had briefly met a lifetime ago, well that's what it felt to me anyway. I was quite surprised when he extended the invitation to Angela but figured that perhaps it was going to be a not-wolf affair then. He encouraged her to invite some friends and also invited Charlie. I knew that would go down well with him, even if he decided not to actually go. There was just something about the way Jake dealt with Charlie that just seemed to tick all of his 'parental control' boxes.

I was desperate to drag Jake upstairs and just wrap him in my arms and reassure myself that he was ok, but I could see his attention was still focussed downstairs and I realised yet again that I had forgotten that he needed to get Billy organised before I could snuggle up to him for the night. Billy and Charlie were amused with some advert on the TV and I could tell from the number of cans littered around that there was no way Charlie would be driving this evening.

"Do you want me to drive you guys back?" I asked. I figured the least I can do is start trying to pull my weight in this relationship.

I was surprised when Dad waved me off. "Back? we're just getting started, don't you two worry, I'll make sure Billy is comfortable here. We've got fishing to do early in the morning!_"_

Jake and I retreated upstairs quickly as the two of them began singing some sports song along with the TV. Jake collapsed onto my bed and I crawled on next to him with a grin.

"Well at least I know I'll get a good morning then" I joked.

Jake smiled, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Sorry about that, I should have warned you I'd have to head out_". _

Oh no, now I felt terrible, he was apologising to me for having to take care of his responsibilities. I moved closer to him, kissing him lightly on the lips "No, I should have realised".

He kissed me again ever so gently. "There's going to be a lot for you to realise, I don't want it to..._"_ I cut him off with a much deeper kiss, pressing my tongue to his lips and entering his mouth as he let me. I didn't want him to feel that he was always having to explain himself, right now all I wanted to do was make him feel.

I applied a little more pressure and he responded by lying back against the pillows, my mouth didn't leave his as I ran my hand across his chest, allowing my fingers to trace each line, each curve of his muscles. I traced the outline of his stomach, letting my fingertip locate his belly button. I pressed my palm against the hard muscles around it, skirting my fingers against the point where those muscles disappeared into his low slung shorts. I caught the back of his head with my other hand pressing him into my mouth harder as his breath caught. I could feel his hands, one gripping my jeans at the side near my hip, the other holding tight to the back of my top. I moved boldly, I wanted to feel him. I wanted him to feel me. I wanted that sensation of being so close to him that I felt like I'm melting into him.

I went to move my leg so that I could straddle myself over him but the hand on the back of my shirt was pressing down too much. "Jake, I want to move" I whispered into his mouth.

He pulled back from me and looked into my eyes, his breathing was erratic and his teeth were slightly gritted giving him a tense expression. Suddenly, even though I felt ashamed that I could think of him in a moment of intimacy like this with Jake, Edward came to my mind. It was just a fleeting thought, a passing acknowledgement of the similar expressions, but I realised that once again all I was focussing on was myself. I was only thinking of what I wanted, of my desire for him. I wasn't listening to his body, I wasn't reading him. Even this morning I had realised that I didn't know how to set the pace for myself, and yet again I was needing someone to remind me of the consequences.

I stopped pressing back against his hand and ceased my attempts to climb onto him, instead moulding myself to his side and pulling his head down so his lips met mine again. "Is this better?" I quietly asked.

Jake replied with that husky tone that told me I'd had him very close to his own personal threshold "I'm so sorry, I'm still trying to get to grips with everything, and trying to get my brain to listen to what you said yesterday, when all my body wants to listen to is what your body is saying, and well then there's the whole super-hearing thing, kind of makes it feel like Charlie is in the room with us, bit of a buzz kill if you know what I mean?"

His arms wrapped around me, warming me, shielding me in an impenetrable fortress of bliss. "But this, this is real good!" His lips met mine again, and continued to do so for a long time. Finally we fell asleep like that, locked in each other's arms with our faces touching.

I awoke to soft kisses on my eyelids, I could tell it was quite early still and couldn't work out why Jake was up already. It was Saturday, and I didn't need to be at work for a while, why was the delicious sleep over already? _"_You don't need to get up yet, I just wanted to say good morning_"_ he smiled.

I let my eyes rake over him, he'd obviously lost the t-shirt in the night, I guess running at those kind of temperatures made clothes virtually unnecessary. A blush crept over my face as I allowed myself to enjoy the sheer gorgeousness of the man in front of me. I really couldn't refer to him as a boy now, those perfect abs, thick muscular arms, that defined chest. Ok I was very very awake now, sleep be damned!

Jake's head tilted and a grin broke out on his face. "What are you thinking about?_"_ he asked with a lazy, drawn out tone that told me he was fully aware of exactly what I was thinking about. I swatted his shoulder and stuck my tongue out at him. In a second his lips were on mine and my tongue was slipping in between those gorgeous teeth and into his hot mouth. I pulled back suddenly and clapped a hand over my mouth, here he was all super-senses and I'm giving him full morning-breath kisses!

He smiled and kissed me gently on the forehead. "Seriously, you don't need to get up. I'm just getting Dad ready_". _

Once again the realisation hit me clear between the eyes, of course he had to get up, Charlie and Billy were going fishing early and Billy would need to be ready for this. I just couldn't seem to fathom how this was all so normal for Jake, and so unspoken.

I reached for his hand tentatively, "Can I help?"

Jake's head spun round he looked so shocked, caught off guard and confused "with Billy I mean" I stuttered.

I wasn't sure what I was offering, and I hoped he wasn't offended. I just began to dawn on me that Jake was mine forever, which means that some of 'his' responsibilities would become 'our' responsibilities over time. "I mean, for the future and all that, I'm going to need to know how to take care of him too aren't I?" I whispered, feeling unsure of myself.

Jake sat down hard on the bed and put his hands to the sides of his head, his elbows resting on his knees. I couldn't see his face but I noticed little ripples running through his shoulders and back. "Jake?" I asked quietly, unsure of what I had done.

When he turned to face me I gasped as I saw the tears running down his face. "Jake, baby, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry".

Jake gathered me in his arms, and I climbed on to him, desperately wanting to make whatever I had done better. I brushed his face, wiping the tears as they came, kissing them away tasting their saltiness on my lips.

He grasped my hands in his, stilling my frantic movements. _"_Shh, don't get upset, I'm not mad at you. I just find it amazing how perfect you are. You just caught me by surprise. I mean, I'm just getting used to you...well wanting me" he paused looking slightly embarrassed but also very pleased with himself "and then you go and say the most perfect things about OUR future, and it just knocks me flat on my ass_"._

He gave me a kiss on my forehead and let his hand graze down the side of my face "Can you believe this, I'm a 7ft werewolf who can bench press a car and I'm so in love with you it makes me cry. If you even mention this to Leah I swear I will spank you till you beg for mercy!_" _

He wiped his face then threw me over his shoulder and began heading downstairs to start the day.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Meyer, but I'm not hating!**

My giggles and squeals had clearly roused the rest of the men in the house. Jake set me down at the bottom of the stairs and I surveyed the living room with a disapproving tut. Charlie had clearly passed out on the chair at some point last night. Billy was a least stretched out on the sofa with a blanket. The TV was still showing a blue screen, there were beer cans and pizza boxes littering the floor. Charlie appeared to have had the munchies at some point as there was a bag of chips on his lap, although the chips themselves were strewn all over him and the surrounding floor. Both Charlie and Billy were rubbing their eyes and when Charlie finally focussed on the two of us standing there, he leapt out of his chair. He looked wide-eyed at Jake with concern and hissed.

"What is she doing up? I haven't had chance..."

I tilted my head and placed my hands on my hips frowning at him. An amused smile was playing on Billy's lips. So this was the infamous Friday night sports night. And of course I would not normally be up until it was time to get ready for work, giving Charlie a chance to get things back to normal. Ha ha busted!

"Hey, I tried to get her back to sleep, but she wanted...well Dad...Bella kind of asked if she could give me hand getting you organised for the day_"_. Jake looked to Billy, Billy looked to Charlie, and Charlie's eyes just kept getting bigger.

I suddenly felt quite embarrassed, as if I had trampled into a men only zone. I mean I hadn't meant it to be a big deal. I just wanted to help out. It was only when I saw Charlie's face that it started to dawn on me that maybe it actually was a very big deal, I mean especially for Billy. He might not want my help, the guy has seen me fall over my own shoelace, and not to mention put his son in a crazy werewolf coma that required several people to get hurt waking him up. Maybe he doesn't trust me enough.

I was lost in my thoughts when Billy's booming laugh bought me back out. "You know you're right Charlie, she does look just like Renee when she does that. Sweetheart, why don't you come and sit down here, we'll have a bit of a chat. Jake can rustle us up some food and we'll turn a blind eye to the tidying Charlie needs to do._"_

I felt a little calmer and pulled up a chair next to Billy. Jake was banging around in the kitchen and Charlie was trying to restore some order.

Billy took my hand in his and smiled. _"_There are many things you and I will speak about, but perhaps we'll save them for a time when we're a bit more awake_" _his eyes flickered in Charlie's direction and I nodded silently.

"Now do you want to ask questions or would you prefer if I just told you the things I think you might need to know?_"_ I really didn't want to make Billy uncomfortable so I thought it might be best if he lead the conversation. "You tell me if that's ok?" He nodded and rested himself back on the pillow as if he were about to tell me a story.

"Well how about I start with what doesn't work?_" _My eyes widened, I could already feel a flush building. Billy was just so matter of fact, and who was I to ask for such personal information?

_"_There's not a thing going on down here" he gestured down from his knees, "can't feel a thing, so you need to watch temperatures and stuff for me, 'cause the water could be so hot my flesh is boiling off and I wouldn't have a clue_"_, my jaw dropped and I quickly sought to snap it shut. "same with cold, they could get frostbite and the toes fall off and I'd be none the wiser_". _

"Dad!_"_ I heard Jake call out from the kitchen, "no it's ok" I reassured them both.

"But seriously, Jake keeps an eye on them for me, checks their temperature a couple of times a day during the cold seasons, in summer it's not so bad. He also does my stretches, at least four times a week otherwise the knee and the ankle get locked up and then my pants don't go on." He chuckled to himself before adding _"_we didn't know about the stretching at the beginning, got into a whole heap of problem!_"_ I simply nodded, I was just floored by it all.

"Now, you're in luck. At the beginning things didn't work so good. But I've got better over time so I can take care of the bathroom stuff myself, so don't start worrying about diapers or those bag things._"_ I almost fell of my chair. It hadn't even occurred to me, I was so caught up in my own moping around that I had never even thought about such things. I wondered how the two of them had coped 'in the beginning' and the admiration I had for Jake continued to grow by the second.

"My arms are quite strong now so I can do most of the stuff. It's just the big things – stairs, dressing, and getting out of baths that is a problem. I can't reach all the way down you see, so whilst I can do most of the washing, it's just the feet mainly, and I can't cut my own toenails._" _I breathed out heavily, well that wasn't too bad.

"I do have one request though Bella_._" Jake had wandered in juggling plates of eggs and toast for everyone and I looked nervously at Billy. He put on a serious face "Can we leave the stairs to Jake?_"_ I smiled at Billy and he squeezed my hand.

We ate in a comfortable silence and when Charlie had finished in the bathroom, Jake carried Billy upstairs making it look like he barely weighed an ounce. He sat him on a chair in the bathroom and I began running the bath. _"_Lots of bubbles please" Billy said sweetly.

I smiled thinking he was making a joke but then Jake spoke quietly into my ear "No really, it makes him feel less...you know...exposed_"_. I dutifully dumped half a bottle into the bath and began swooshing up lots of bubbles, ok, that was strike one for naïve Bella. Jake moved around quickly, gathering up several towels, he placed one on the corner of the tub and one over his shoulder.

"Ok, here goes_"_ he said in a slightly nervous tone. He showed me everything and Billy sat patiently, waiting whilst I fumbled and knocked things over. Jake explained that Billy liked to do most things by himself and so he removed his top half whilst I worked off his socks. Jake took over for the main part suggesting that I learn by watching and then work up to it another day. Billy undid his pants and then took a towel and placed it over his lap, holding it in place with his hands as he gripped the side of the seat. He lifted himself up of the seat and Jake quickly reached up the edge of the towel and pulled down the pants and underpants, sliding them down off Billy's legs. Billy then gripped hold of Jake's shoulder and got a hand round the edge of the tub and lifted himself off the chair and onto the towel on the corner of the tub. I watched discretely as he then wrapped the bottom towel around himself and tucked it in and put the other towel back on the chair as Jake moved his legs into the water. He then slid himself into the tub, and relaxed back in the bubbles.

Billy turned to me and smiled, _"_Now that's the easy bit_."_ His smile lost some of its intensity and he suddenly looked a lot older and slightly frailer, _"_Bella, would you mind if we worked up to the rest another time?_" _I nodded and left the room, Jake following behind me.

As we stepped into the hallway he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. He didn't speak for a few moments but I noticed that his breathing was deeper than usual. "Did I do ok?" I asked hesitantly.

Jake let out a long breath, _"_You were amazing, and he's really trying, it's hard you know for him, but he knows that you will be there for him I guess. He never even let my sisters that close, not once_". _

I tried to fathom this, not once had anyone else, well apart from Charlie it seemed, helped out in any way. I felt ignorant, like a world had passed me close by me by I had never even noticed. "Jake how long has it been?" I felt ashamed that I didn't even know this fact. I didn't even know how this had come to be his life.

"Six years in a fortnight_"_ he whispered gently. Six years! Six years of doing this and by the sounds of it more in the early days, 365 days a year for six years. My God he was still a child when this had all started. I put my hand on his chest, roughly where I guessed his heart would be and looked at him, really looking at this man who stood in front of me. He was worth a thousand Edwards, he was worth a million me's. "You're not an angel" he looked at me strangely "you're a God" I finished, his eyes grew wide and I dragged him down so that his lips could be devoured by mine.

He gave in to my desire, allowing me to push him back against the wall so that I could press my body against him. In that moment I wanted to please him, to gratify him, I wanted him to know how much I thought of him. In my mind a picture was forming of me on my knees bringing him to a state of pleasure. Suddenly there was an uncomfortable cough and a grumbling and I leapt back across the hallway, leaving Jake breathless and panting on the other side. Shamefacedly I turned to Charlie who was standing at his bedroom door looking extremely unimpressed.

"Probably should be getting ready for work shouldn't you Bella?_"_ Charlie asked gruffly, frowning in Jake's direction. Jake headed back into the bathroom to help Billy finish up and I could hear Billy's laughter as he teased Jake. I nodded and headed to my room and collapsed on my bed breathing heavily.

I lay there staring at the ceiling, wondering about the image I had just had. I wondered what it would be like to do something like that with Jake. I mean I knew the logistics from 'girl talk' but I wondered what it would actually feel like. The door opened and Jake walked in, his face a look of surprise, delight and reproach.

"You just cost me a whole heap of ribbing there from Dad, and Charlie wasn't exactly over the moon there!_"_ He launched at me and began tickling me. I squealed and twisted but of course he was far too agile for me to get away. "I'll make you a deal" he said, "More deals? Are these your methods of getting your way now?"I giggled and he tickled me some more.

"Well you don't seem to object quite so much, so I'm sticking with it. Anyway, I'll forgive you for leaving me in such an embarrassing situation, if..._"_ he paused and looked at me with a sheepish expression "you let me drop you off at work and walk you in_"_.

I looked at him thoughtfully and then realised the sub-text to what he was saying. "You don't want to walk me in. You want to come and pee on my work, don't you?"Jake looked shocked and slightly baffled. "You want to do that male marking your territory thing, like when animals pee on things! We want to pee on me in front of Mike don't you?" I tried to sound horrified but secretly I found it very sweet. Half the world seems to be bowing at his feet and he still hasn't forgotten that night at the movies.

He looked bashful and I reached up and kissed him, as he kissed me harder a little devious plan formed in my mind. "Here's my deal, you can come and pee on my work if..." I gave the same dramatic pause "you do a special dance for me at the bonfire tonight". I had wanted to see Jake dance ever since we had been in that bar. I wanted to know what he looked like, not the shy Jake who had bumped along with me at the prom a million years ago, but my huge, sexy God-like Jake dancing for me. I would happily trade anything for that.

Jake's eyes were wide and he looked very surprised. "You mean like a show kind of dance?_"_ I nodded, I wasn't sure why I was asking but I seriously wanted to see what kind of moves he was capable of now.

"New deal_"_ his eyes looked calculated, and I could see the Alpha-Jake mind ticking away inside. This was a very shrewd side of Jake, the side of Jake that made me shiver in a good way at anticipation of his words. He began kissing slowly down my neck as he spoke "You let me come to work and let me put a little fear in our friend Mike, nothing big, just enough to ensure that he never thinks of you like that again, and I'll have ALL the guys put on a little dance show for you and your girlfriends_"._ He smiled wickedly at me and then kissed me hard on the lips. "Do we have a deal?_"_


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: For this chapter to make much sense you'll need to refer to the Taio Cruse/Sugababes/Busta Remix of 'Like A Star' [utube has it if you don't]. Of course you can read it without and just enjoy your own mental images - I know I did whilst writing! Once again to the fabulous reviewers, you make my day so keep them coming.**

**Disclaimer - I owe a debt of gratitude to both Meyer and Taio for creating the work that lets me have so much fun!**

* * *

It had taken every bit of will-power I possessed to drag myself away from Jake's gorgeous body in my bed and get ready for work. I was jittery with nervous energy. I didn't normally like parties or fuss or anything like that, but it was something about the wonderfulness of my Jake that made me want to show him off to everybody. I was little wary of what might happen with Mike, I mean there was clearly some baggage between them, but as for tonight, part of me wanted to be able to stand proud to the pack and hold my head up. Yes, I had messed up, yes Jake had got hurt and Sam and Leah, but I am in this 100% now, right by his side.

When we got to work, Jake hopped out of the truck and walked around to my side, taking me by the hand and leading me into the shop. I figured to myself as long as this didn't get out of hand or too Alpha scary I was just going to let Jake have his little moment with Mike. Maybe this had been playing on his mind, like the stuff with Leah had been playing on my mind. After all, he hadn't made any fuss about me carrying on working, and he wasn't putting a 'wolf guard' in here, so it seemed the least I could do, especially if it got me the chance to see him dancing.

As we entered I could see Mike standing behind the counter sorting some papers out. His jaw dropped as he took in Jake. Jake beamed a wide smile at him with his arm round my shoulders.

"_Hi Mike"_ Jake said in a very happy and friendly tone. Mike nodded and put his hand up in greeting, his smile looking somewhat sickly. Jake moved away from me so that I could put my things away and walked over to Mike, clapping him on the back with a force that I could only imagine must have made Mike teeth shake. _"So Mike, I stopped by to invite you and your friends to a bonfire we are having tonight, you know, food, music, that sort of thing"_. Mike nodded cautiously, appearing to have lost the ability to speak. _"So you'll be there won't you, and bring all your guys? Angela's going to be rounding up the girls."_

Mike seemed to find his voice finally _"Sure, sounds good, it is to celebrate anything special?"_ Jake's smile got even wider, _"Sure is, the tribe is celebrating the fact that Bella has agreed to be MY beloved". _I came round to Jake's side now and gave him a little pinch in his tummy, ok now he was laying it on a bit thick.

"_Beloved"_ Mike stuttered, _"Is that like a girlfriend sort of thing?"_ He looked pale, oh dear he actually looked like he might be sick.

"_It's so much more than that Mike, but you'll see tonight. Don't forget, OK. 'Cause I have 6 brothers who I have told all about you, and I tell you, they can't wait to meet you. If they don't get the chance tonight I'll have to let them know they can find you here."_ I was fighting back the laughter now, I was actually starting to feel quite sorry for Mike.

Jake's face was getting a touch of the Alpha look now and I frowned in his direction, letting him know that I wanted this wrapped up now, I could tell Mike was sufficiently scared now and anything more would be unnecessary. Jake acknowledged this with a nod and I was pleased to see him listening to me. He scooped me into his arms and delivered a blistering kiss to my lips that left me panting with pleasure as he released me.

He set me back down and turned back to Mike. _"I'll see you later Mike" _he gave Mike one of those man punches to the shoulder and Mike stumbled back against the counter. Kissing me one more time on the lips he headed out the door with a wave. Mike muttered something about needing to make phone calls and retreated into the back office.

Work passed quickly, probably because I spent most of the day fantasising about what type of dance Jake would do, what he would wear, how many times he would kiss me tonight, when 'eventually' might be and the things we could do in between. I barely even noticed Mike during the shift, he kept himself far away and continued to make his phone calls. It seemed he was going for the safety in numbers option.

I had agreed to meet Leah at her house to get ready and could barely contain myself until it was time to head off. Leah had made me promise to let her pick out my outfit, and given how she had tastefully chosen in Jacksonville, I had agreed. I was virtually bouncing in the seat as I drove down. I parked up at her house and headed to the door. It was flung open by a younger member of the pack. I guessed immediately that this must be Seth, he was shorter than the others, but still had that build that made it obvious now exactly what he was. I vaguely recalled his face from the morning at Billy's, but this was my first proper meeting with him. Suddenly he whipped me into a huge hug, squeezing me tightly. "_Bella!"_

"Hi Seth, sorry we didn't get introduced last time". I smiled as he put me back down. He seemed like a bundle of nervous energy too. _"Sorry, got to get to Jake's see you later"_ he bussed. Then suddenly he reached back and squeezed me again "_Thank you"_ he whispered. I looked at him quizzically, "_for her, for him, for us, for everything, it's all going to be perfect now!"_ He darted off leaving me spinning. I guess he was happy about the changes that had occurred for Leah, but I couldn't work out why he was thanking me, after all it was Jake that had changed everything round. Oh well, I thought, yet more confusing statements. I should be used to them by now.

I climbed the stairs and headed to Leah's room to get ready. When I walked in I gasped, laid out on the bed were three gorgeous dresses, they were the same but in different colours. They were minidresses, with simple straps, but over the top in a matching sheer fabric was a second longer layer that at the bottom had been cut to look wispy, they were absolutely gorgeous. There were more footsteps and Leah and Angela came up the stairs. "_Ok"_ said Leah, _"if you hate the idea then we can just go with something else but we found this great dress pattern, but they were a bit too short for you so Angela had the idea of the layering, and I ran them up on the machine, but like I said if you don't like…"_

I cut her off, "Wait, you guys made these?" I was stunned, they looked really professional, _"yeah, well I'm not working at the minute"_ Leah said looking at the floor, Angela added _"and I blew a ton the other day when we went out"_. "No, I didn't mean that, I'm just amazed, they are fabulous". Both of them grinned. _"The red one's yours_" they said in unison and we all started giggling. We passed the next couple of hours in absolute girly bliss, primping and preening. I slipped on the dress, it was amazing, the sheer fabric looked like flames as it danced around my legs as I moved. Angela's was a brilliant blue and fabric looked like waves of water. Leah's was green and once again it made her skin shine beautifully.

When we were all ready I turned to Leah "So, do you know anything about this evening?" I asked her meaningfully, she smiled and raised her eyebrows, _"I may have been consulted about a particular piece of music but apart from that my lips are sealed"_ she said wickedly.

Sue offered to run us over so we didn't ruin our outfits and as the twilight set in I could see the light from the bonfire and hear the music from quite a way. I noticed the cruiser as we pulled up and figured that Charlie must have decided to make an appearance. We thanked Sue and headed off to meet the others.

There was a huge bonfire set and it made it really warm. There were buffet tables laden with food and drink, stereo speakers hooked up to some kind of generator, everything you need for a party. There were also a whole heap of people. It seemed like half of Forks High had been rounded up along with a lot of people I didn't recognise who probably went to the school on the res. I spotted Charlie and Billy off to one side, obviously acting as the chaperones.

I couldn't see Jake or any of the rest of the pack whilst I was looking around. Two young women came towards me, one with visible scars down the side of her face. I recognised the scars immediately as those I had covered on Jake's wall. These were clearly the 'in the know' women – Emily and Kim. I said my hellos politely and stressed that I would love to talk to them properly, I had raised my eyebrows at this point to try to indicate what I meant and they had both smiled and nodded, but I didn't want to start a big conversation about 'connections' then, not with Leah so close by.

Leah had moved to a cleared area near the bonfire. Emily cut the music and Leah whistled loudly on her fingers, causing everyone to turn to her.

_"I would like to welcome you all tonight, to the bonfire organised by Jacob Black. This is a night of celebration as we welcome his beloved, Bella Swan into our tribe". _Leah's voice echoed around the area, proud and strong. I could see now what Jake meant about her becoming a role-model for the people.

"_Jacob and his brothers, the Quileute Protectors, OUR protectors ask you to join them in a night of music, food, and friendship. At the request of his beloved, the Protectors will perform a dance in her honour"._

Leah moved out of the clearing, my cheeks were blazing with colour as I noticed Mike, Jessica and Lauren staring pointedly in my direction. Suddenly, their attention was caught by something else and I turned to look. The pack strode into the clearing and there were gasps as they all became clear in the firelight. Each of them were shirtless, wearing loose dark denim cut-offs than sat low on their hips. They moved into a triangle formation, Jake and Sam were at the front widest point, then there was Paul and Jared, behind them stood Quil and Embry. Seth formed the point of the triangle, standing right at the back. The gathered crowd had hushed in anticipation, their eyes fixed on the sight in front of them. All of the pack had their heads bowed, their arms relaxed with their hands clasped in front of them. Even this simple posture served to highlight their huge muscled arms and Lauren and Jessica were already drooling at the sight.

The bass line cut in suddenly, causing me to jump slightly. A female voice echoing out '_like a star'_, all the guys snapped simultaneously, their heads whipping up like they were of one body. As they begun to move, identically matching, perfectly in unison, I suddenly recognised the type of dance. I had seen this type of dancing back in Phoenix in the shopping malls, groups of guys executing street moves to punchy rhythms.

My eyes were locked on Jake, the sight of his muscles rippling as he moved his body in time to the music. Every move was precise, perfect, the timing of the pack was immaculate. The male vocals began and they changed the formation, Paul and Quil fell in line with Jake whilst Jared and Embry lined up beside Sam. Suddenly Seth shot out from the back, in a dazzling display of flips and twists down the middle of them, ending up in front of us on his knees stretching back. In turn each of the guys dropped without flinching landing on their hands executing push ups in a wave like motion. I could see how excited the other girls were getting at the sight of all of these bulging muscles pumping in front of them and there were shocked and envious expressions from the other guys.

Just as suddenly they were on their feet again, their bodies moving in perfect timing with the words, I could feel Jake's eyes boring into me, as if he personally had written every single word of the song, I could hardly tear my eyes from his body, watching as he moved and twisted in time with the others. As the words _'She makes me want to be a better man' _played his eyes locked to mine and I felt a warmth unlike anything I had ever experienced rolling over my body. Quil and Embry were upside down on one hand now, their legs twisted flamboyantly eliciting gasps and sighs from the girls watching but I had eyes for no other, I couldn't even feel the presence of anyone else. This song was for us alone.

Sam, Jared and Seth were moving towards me, Oh God they are stalking towards me, Oh God this wasn't supposed to involve me. In time with the music Sam and Jared took my arms and stretched them out. Quil, Embry and Paul were spinning and flipping around, moving themselves in ways that seemed positively obscene. Jake was in the centre, his back to us now, standing like an Adonis in the firelight. Jared and Sam lifted me suddenly by my arms and my feet were resting on Seth's crouched form as they began to move forwards.

As the female vocals spoke the words _'the only one that I believe can __save my life'_, Jake turned around to face me, his eyes were on me as they moved me in front of him, I felt like some kind offering to a God, each lyric the woman sang reaching into my soul and explaining to the world exactly how I felt about him. Jake reached for my waist and effortlessly raised me up above him as the rest of them bounced and flipped away. He slid me down, moulding my body into his, my legs wrapping themselves around him and he began to dance me achingly against his throbbing body, just the way I envisioned it so long ago in the bar in Jacksonville. All I had to do was allow him to mould me against him. I hadn't felt this close to him since the day I gave him my innocence and took his in return.

The others were being joined by girls now, Emily and Kim moulding as effortlessly into Sam and Jared as I had done to Jake. Some of the girls from the res were boldly winding with Quil and Embry. Paul had managed to secure the attention of both Lauren and Jessica with his suggestive dancing and had Lauren almost bent over in front of him whilst he pressed against her behind whilst holding another arm behind him around Jessica who was pressed against his rear. I looked away, my eyes feeling unclean from the sight and caught Angela shyly dancing much less provocatively with Seth, a little smile danced on my lips before I returned my full attentions to the gorgeous man pressed against me.

As the song changed into another he whispered into my ear "_Was that a good enough show for you?_ I laughed happily, "I'll have to make deals with you more often if that's what I get in return". He leant in to me, pressing his lips to mine as my arms snaked around his neck, as he moved his body against mine I wondered if perhaps waiting any longer for us to be together again was futile, it was as if we were one, united in a way that was far beyond our understanding. Several further songs passed, I was oblivious to anything other than the feel of Jake's body, Jake's lips, Jake's heat.

All too suddenly Jake eased the pressure between us, slowing our bodies and unwinding them from each other. I pouted in dissatisfaction. "_I thought you didn't like to dance?_" he said teasingly. "_I know Charlie loves me, but there are things a father just doesn't need to see!"_ He turned me round slightly and I caught sight of Charlie, his jaw fixed and his hand clenching the glass in his hand, appearing to ease slightly now he was no longer being confronted by the sight of his own daughter obviously enjoying the close physical contact with her boyfriend. I blushed and nodded, "Shall we see to the food then?"

The 'F' word had been spoken and all the wolves quickly abandoned their dance partners in search of the other love of their lives – the buffet table! I headed over to Leah and swatted her on the arm "You could have warned me!" She smiled and grabbed a plate full of food "_Now where would the fun have been in that?"_ She seemed relaxed and calm, even given the close proximity of Sam and Emily and I was relieved to see that she truly seemed to be much more at ease in general, playful even, around the rest of the pack.

I carried on mingling, surprised at how much I was enjoying myself. I watched Jake as he effortlessly ensured that all of the guys from Forks High were individually introduced to every single one of the pack, I could see from the 'friendly' grip he had on Mike's shoulders whilst they were talking that he seemed to be getting a little too much enjoyment over marking his territory. I walked up and snaked my arm around him, breaking him away from Mike who exhaled loudly in relief whilst rubbing his shoulder. He gestured towards Lauren and Jessica who were virtually falling over themselves flirting with Paul. _"If they are good friends of yours you might want to…say something to them…I mean Paul's ok but….how he is with women, well it's…"_ I cut him off with a smile "With those two, I think it might be you needing to warn Paul!" I moved him away from unsuspecting ears and nodded in the direction of Angela who was listening intently as Seth told her something whilst trying balance his huge plate of food. "Jake, I need to ask you, about Angela and Seth…is that you know…a connection thing?"


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Once again, huge thanks to the reviewers, alerters and favourite subscribers. Hope you all had a great weekend!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Meyer, so Twilight's not mine.**

* * *

[JPOV]

She looked genuinely excited and cuddled into my side. I loved the feeling of her close to me, it made me feel so alive. It was like it focussed the energy I was channelling. Some times I just wanted to hit the pause button on my life, just for a bit a revel in how she made me feel. It was a shame then that I could see I was going to disappoint her. I didn't want to answer her bluntly, as I knew the story would make it make more sense so I pulled her away to a quiet spot and sat myself down on the ground so I could lean against one of the logs. I slapped my legs and she smiled and sat down on my lap. I didn't want that pretty dress getting all dusty.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? I can see it in your eyes". Bella's eyes sparkled when she was excited. It used to take a lot of work to get any hint of life in her eyes, after that leech broke her, but lately it seemed like they sparkled all the time. I felt quite proud of that.

"_Oh dear, you've got your 'I don't want to disappoint you Bella' voice on, I guess that's a no then"_. Hold on, I have a what? Man, don't I have any secrets around here.

"Actually, Miss I-know-you-so-well, it's an 'I'm not sure' so nah nah". I stuck my tongue out at her. It was childish and stupid I know, but I wanted some lightness, I needed some lightness if she was going to understand the story without getting upset.

"_I'm going to overlook that on the basis that you are still in my good books from earlier"_, she was looking at me with a gleam in her eye. That look made me want to drag her away from everyone properly, lock us up in the house and not come out for a year. I started to wonder if perhaps 'eventually' might be on the cards for tonight?

"Ok, well given that I'm in your good books and want to stay in your good books, and perhaps even get in your..." I trailed off as she pinched me on the side, surely werewolves weren't allowed to be ticklish still? "Anyway, as I was saying, we don't know about Seth's imprinting yet, it's likely that he won't be ready to imprint for several years, so your friend Angela could be his imprint, maybe that's why he really into her, or maybe he's just really in to her but she's not going to be his imprint." I could tell I had Bella's full attention now. I wondered what it was that made her so fascinated with all things mythical and mysterious. I wrapped my arms around her and she gazed at me like I was telling her a bedtime story. "When me and the rest of the guys first phased, we accelerated our development and stopped at the right point. I know what my birth certificate says, but physically and to some degree emotionally we went from 16 to late 20s straight away".

Bella made a little snort "_Says the guy sticking his tongue out at me"_, "Sure, sure" I replied, well I did say 'to some degree'. "So, it would seem that guys in their late 20s are kind off ready for the whole commitment thing – marriage, kids, family, that sort of thing, so I guess imprinting is designed to speed up the process so that we keep our heads focussed on the real chase, not that chase. But Seth was too young when he phased, so he's a comfortable kind of 19/20, ready to get into something, but not at the big commitment stage, so no imprinting yet. He'll continue to accelerate over the next few years and then we'll see."

Bella's eyes were intent, and I chuckled, I could see what Charlie and Dad meant, you could actually see about a thousand questions zipping through her mind, and it looked like she was trying to sort them into some kind of order of asking. "What's up Bells, where do you want to start?" She thought for a minute longer, and then asked the one question I had hoped she wouldn't "_Why did he change too early?_" I pulled her into my arms and ran my hands over her bare shoulders. She always went straight for the thing that would cause her the most damage, like a moth to a flame.

I leaned back and drew strength from the Alpha energy, I would tell her the truth, and then keep her safe whilst she dealt with it. "The spirits see the threat, and so they create the pack, often generations may pass without any wolves, as the threat is so small, but once a threat is known the spirits will reach into their descendants and awaken their strength. The greater the threat, the more descendants they will reach to". Bella turned to me now "_The Cullen's, they were the threat the spirits sensed weren't they?"_ I nodded, it was easier for Bella to talk about them, I couldn't bring myself to speak their filthy name. I could see her working things out again. "_But there were enough of you, Sam, Jared, Leah, Quil, Paul, Embry and you, that was enough, there are only 7 of them." _I wanted so much to lie to her, just to protect her from her own thoughts, but even thinking about doing so made me feel like I was sticking red hot pokers into my heart.

"The spirits detected a further threat, so they reached out to another descendant, even though he was not ready. The coven was ready to expand". I could feel her heartbeat increase dramatically and her eyes widen as she took in my words. I could see the tears starting to form and I crushed her to my lips. I was kissing her so deeply, so intently. I could feel her pain stinging me, and it clawed at my heart. I felt like I was trying to keep her alive through through my kisses, trying to share my energy with her so that she wouldn't collapse in on herself again. We were lost in a world of our own, I couldn't even hear the music anymore. It was as if the whole party had disappeared whilst we were talking. I wanted her to know that everything was ok. I wanted her to know that nobody blamed her. I pulled back, searching in her face for a sign that I wasn't loosing her to the sadness. She looked at me and I was relieved to see that the tears hadn't fallen yet, they were stilled rimmed in her eyes.

A hand touched her shoulder and we both startled. I looked up confused, who would dare to interrupt me with Bella, and suddenly I realised I was looking at Seth. Two tears fell then from Bella's eyes as she looked towards him "_I'm so sorry Seth, it's all my fault, you shouldn't have had to, this shouldn't be your life"_. Seth looked at me, like he wanted to apologise. "_Sorry Boss, but I don't know, it was like you called me in my head and I'm really sorry, normally I would never have got in your way". _I put Bella on her feet and stood up, I felt like my head was spinning.

I put my hand on his shoulder "Seth, did you just speak, or did you think at me?", I felt really sick, I was starting to shake a little. Bella caught my hand, her tears had disappeared, giving way to a look of concern, "Jake, Seth hasn't said anything yet, what's wrong". I gripped his shoulder, Oh crap, this is not good. I looked around the party, searching out the rest of the pack. I thought 'Sam' and jolted as his head turned straight in my direction, his expression registering shock, then concern.

"_Jake, what's wrong baby?"_ Bella was shaking my arm, her concern giving way to fear. "I can hear them, inside my head, right now, and they can hear me", the shaking was getting worse, I was starting to loose control, not near Bella, not near Bella. "Oh god, I can see them" I was flickering, from wolf to wolf, hearing their thoughts, seeing through their eyes. It was like when we were wolves but without the clarity, the preciseness, it was too human and I couldn't take it, especially when I saw what Paul was doing. Sam was by my side, and surprisingly so was Leah. She put her arm protectively around Bella's shoulders. "_Sister, let's get you some more food, and let the boys go wolf this out for a while"_. Bella looked at me again for reassurance, and I nodded, "I'll be back as soon as I feel safe ok". My voice was cracking and I could feel I was close to phasing. I reached out to Sam inside my mind, asking him to phase with me. We moved quickly and discretely away, phasing as soon as we hit the treeline. I was about to run when I remembered something.

"Seth", I called out with my mind, and I saw him stop in his tracks as he was walking back to the main group. "Find Paul and deal with him, what he's doing is illegal in some states and just plain nasty in others, remind him that he is supposed to be a role-model!"

Sam and I broke into a run, I felt clearer, more focussed now as a wolf. The thoughts and images that had been disorientating to my human self were instead comforting in this form. I drove myself and Sam hard, running us as fast as we could go. I could hear Sam's thoughts, his amazement and bewilderment at the abilities I was developing. I needed a release, I needed something to pour all this power into. I felt Sam's interest spike. "_Let's do it, let's try a real hunt, see how powerful you really are."_ I knew this wasn't a challenge, like some of the guys would have made it sound. Instead he was genuinely interested to see if we could find a leech without just stumbling onto a trail. I liked the idea, maybe that would make me feel better, feel clearer and then I could get back to Bella and feel safe again.

We stopped running and rested in a clearing. "How do you think we do this?" I asked Sam. "_I don't think this is a 'we' thing dude. I think maybe if you try and forget I'm here, feel past me if you know what I mean, and try and feel for 'them' instead". _He was uncertain, but it made sense and I felt it was worth a shot. Sam settled on his belly and I locked him out of my mind. I felt the wind, I felt the earth, I could feel the life, the energy of the the things around me, I could feel the animals and the plants, their energies rushing through them. I felt out in my mind, flowing the flows of the energy feeling calm and peace in it all. After several minutes, I felt a sudden interruption, an aberration in the flow of energy, something dead, yet not dead and returning its energy to the earth as it should, but something dead and moving.

I pulled Sam back in, showing him what I felt. "_Jake man, can you feel how far away it is, how did you know it was there?"_ Sam was amazed, I could feel it, yet I wanted him focussed, we began to run, this time with nothing but the hunt on our minds.

We had tracked it down, and begun to circle, it was another fresh one, a female again, and I was shocked to see that it looked really similar to the last, no more than twenty, long brown wavy hair hanging over it's ragged clothes. It was easy to hunt and it was destroyed quickly. It helped, but didn't satisfy my wolf. I needed something else, but I could tell from the moon that we had been gone for a while and I felt bad that I had left Bella alone at the party.

After the run back I phased and immediately realised that the party was long over. There were no sounds and the res itself felt peaceful and calm. I headed to the house and could feel Leah's presence. I was grateful she had stayed to watch Bella. I found her sitting on the couch. "Is she ok_?"_ I asked immediately. "_She's ok, she was worried you might get sick again, but otherwise she's fine. I put her to bed with a hot cocoa. The guys sorted out the gear and things, Charlie's gone home, I'm going to head off if it's cool?" _

It was weird having Leah being so 'not a bitch', "Thanks Leah, you know, it's kind of nice having you around. Say, did Charlie sort out dad or do I need to?" Leah smiled _"You know it's kind of nice being around actually, and no Billy let Bella get him organised. I think that put her in a better mood about everything". _She headed out the door and I closed it behind her. Wow, dad actually let her get him set for bed, this was real progress for him, and for her. I stood for a minute and imagined how things could be. We could take care of dad, I could get the guys to help me build an extension onto the back maybe, put an extra couple of rooms in for the kids, maybe move into my sisters' room instead, it would take a double bed better, and it was next to my room so we could turn mine into a nursery, three kids, that's what I had seen in the imprint so that would be just fine. I stepped forward and some stuff slipped off the edge of the counter. I caught it easily and put it back on the table, my maths homework. I put my hand on my forehead, maths homework, God I'm still in school aren't I, the conflicting feeling of my two realities was giving me a headache. I stuffed the homework under the sports pages and headed to my bedroom, to the reality that appealed to me far more.

Bella was awake but drowsy when I walked in, her hair was loose and her face scrubbed and shiny clean, I know us guys are supposed to get excited at these glamorous models with their fancy make up and pristine clothes, but this was what did it for me every time, my gorgeous beauty, free from anything unnatural, looking like this, just for my eyes only. I sat down and she climbed onto me, her face wearing a look of concern still.

"Baby, I'm fine, just another bit of Alpha power I guess that I wasn't expecting and it took me by surprise. I had a little hunt and I feel much better now. I'm sorry I spoilt your party". She kissed my cheek and smiled. _"I'm glad you're back, I missed you"_ She was pressed against me and I loved how that felt. _"You take whatever time you need to get used to everything that is expected of you". _She was kissing my neck now, her tiny hands winding their way around my chest. I could feel myself responding to her, I could sense my wolf now and I realised the other release I'd been seeking. I sought to fight him down, I wanted to be exactly what Bella wanted, respectful and patient.

"_You deal with so much baby, I just want to help you with that, like helping with Billy, helping with Leah" _her kisses were moving down my bare chest, her body pressing against me in ways that were making me lose the argument with my wolf, she felt so good. She was so low now, kissing my abs, my mind began to wonder what it would be like if she were to go lower. I stopped, that was wrong of me, this was my Queen, she shouldn't be on her knees to me.

I tried to still her "Bella, sweetheart, you shouldn't...it's not right...". She shushed me, the feeling of her breath against my sensitive skin almost making me lose control right there. Then she spoke directly to my wolf, knowing that he would not refuse her _"Baby I NEED to show you how proud I am of you, I NEED to help you feel good, like you deserve."_ I gave in to her them, tuning out the whole world and pressing the pause button on life, just for a little while, to focus all my attention on what my beautiful queen was doing to me.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and feedback. I know I've got lazy with replying individually but I've been working on the out-take of the pack POV from the trip so please forgive!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the delightful creation of Meyer and I own nothing except an overactive imagination and a love for mythology.**

* * *

I opened my eyes and stretched, wow I felt good. Leaning back on the pillow I allowed my mind to drift back to last night. I couldn't believe what Bella had done, and how seriously amazing it had been. I was a lucky lucky wolf! I rolled over and listened to the house, I could hear her and Billy chatting in the kitchen, he was telling her some more of the stories of the tribe while she was cooking. Mm mm, breakfast, time to get up. I wandered into the kitchen and kissed her on her forehead, and got a happy little smile in return but I could tell she was wrapped up in the story so I left her to it to jump in the shower. It was as if we were already a happily married couple, no need for big dramatics and grand gestures, just content in our own little world. It occurred to me that I'd never actually even taken her out on a real date. That night at the movies with vomiting boy didn't exactly count. Maybe we should try and do something one of these days.

I stood in the shower, relaxed and feeling really happy. I was just scrubbing my hair, no need to really wash it now it was so short, just soap it up like the rest of me and scrub, when I heard Embry say my name. I jumped and turned round, skidding about in the shower, then realised he wasn't actually there. I tried to tune in to him, feel for him and the slightly sick feeling came back as I felt his consciousness attach to mine.

"_Oh man, I didn't know if it would work, Quil and I spent ages trying to talk to each other last night but it seems like it's just a one-to-one connection with you". _He sounded excited, like a child with a new toy.

"Let me get this straight, you guys were at a party with loads of girls who were hot for you after the dance routine, and you spent ages trying to talk to each other??" I teased, I mean he walked right into that one.

"_No!..not like that, I got my game on! Don't hate on the player"_ Embry was protesting heavily, and I would have loved to keep ribbing him but this talking in my head thing wasn't making me feel great.

"Sure, sure...hey, you giving me brain ache for anything in particular? 'cause I need to shut it off otherwise. Think this might be a Bat phone kind of deal you know, emergencies only". I was having to hold on to the wall, it felt like the room was spinning.

"_Mom got a call from one of her friends this morning, it seems that this woman's daughter never made it home last night. Mom woke me up to ask if I'd seen her." _I snapped to attention, despite the fact that the room was still spinning. "Wake the pack, Leah too. I want them down here as soon as they can". I locked Embry out of my head and took some deep breaths to try to calm the sick feeling.

I stumbled out of the shower wrapping the towel round me and stood staring in the mirror. I thought back to the leech that Sam and I had hunted last night, had it been her...was she someone's daughter? Did something take her from my party and turn her, then I slaughtered her? A shiver went through my spine. I was made to destroy the leeches, but I had always thought of them as something else, inhuman, evil. What if I came upon a leech wearing the face of somebody I knew? Somebody I cared about. I felt the darkness inside of me burst from behind it's shield as I could see my beautiful queen, her skin ice cold and pale, her eyes blood red and hungry. The agony ripped into my heart and I dropped to my knees, a painful howl releasing from me.

Suddenly she was there, I felt her hands gripping my face, calling my name "_Jake, baby, don't do this again, stay with me, I'm here baby, I'm here"_. I felt her grab my hand and place it on her heart, I could feel the steady beat, the thump thump that reassured me, and slowly everything calmed. We were on the bathroom floor, dad had rolled in and was looking at me with a pained expression. "_What did you see son?"_

I looked up at him, my eyes widening. "How did you know?" He nodded his head slowly, "_Your grandfather used to say that his heart used to show him what he was fighting for, remind him to give it his all every time". _

Bella was looking between us, "Was it like a nightmare?" I nodded and she rubbed my head and helping me up. She kissed my eyelids softly and whispered in my ear "_I'll have to keep giving you better things to dream about then!"_ I chuckled then, remembering what she had giving me to dream about last night and hugged her tightly. I loved that she didn't press me on what I saw for once.

"_Come on, I'm making you breakfast"_. "Bells honey, can you throw some extra together, the pack will be here in a little bit for a meeting". She glared at me in horror and I flinched, I may be a super-wolf now, but I still didn't want to get on the wrong side of this feisty little woman.

"_The pack...my first pack breakfast...and you give me how much notice?" _She screeched at me, grabbing a towel and viciously, well for her anyway, swinging it at my head. She ran out of the room then and I heard pots and pans clattering away, along with a few choice words I hadn't heard Bella use before.

I threw on some shorts and wandered outside, hoping that the fresh air would clear my thoughts some more, and also discretely trying to avoid any further wrath of Bella. I was poking at some loose guttering when I saw the cruiser pull up out the front. I knew straight away that this was business as Charlie was in uniform despite it being Sunday. I headed straight over to meet him by the car.

"Charlie, has there been any word on the girl?" He looked at me in surprise. "Word travels fast" I shrugged, hoping that he didn't read too much into it. He nodded towards the garage and I followed him in, clearly this had become our preferred spot for 'man-talk'. He was agitated, clearly shaken and gripping a manilla folder like it contained some government secret.

"_Jake"_ he faltered, clearly trying to chose his words. _"I need to know some things..."_ He trailed off again and I took a breath, becoming fearful of where this talk might go. Whether this was a Bella talk or a things that might possibly be associated with a large wolf pack on your doorstep talk, I wasn't feeling particularly confident about answering either.

Charlie sat down hard, putting his head against the sides of his head. He shook his head then and stood back up, clearly as uncomfortable with whatever he was thinking of asking as I was trying to answer it.

"_Son, do you know how I met your father?_" I frowned, OK not the conversation I was expecting, but clearly better than either than answering questions about my relationship with Bella without thinking about last night; or talking about missing girls without mentioning wolves and vampires. I shook my head.

"_I couldn't have been more than about 6, I was out in the woods, roaming around, see my dad wasn't exactly...well he had the problem with the drinking after my mom passed...so anyway I used to roam around a lot to be out of the house and one time I was not far from here and I fell down one of those drops out by the edge of the old Uley land. I couldn't get back up and there was no one around. Night fell and I was really cold and so I tried to climb back up again but my fingers were frozen stiff and I lost my grip and fell further down, smashing up my arm good and proper. Anyway, I must of passed out from the pain because the next thing I knew there was this huge guy picking me up and jumping and leaping back up the cliffs. I had never seen a guy that big before and I was terrified of him. _He looked me up and down before continuing.

_I thought he was going to hurt me or eat me or something but he took me back to his home and cleaned me up and fixed up my arm and made a bed up for me. In the morning this kid comes in and says "Hi, I'm Billy and my dad says we are going to be best friends for life". _

Charlie was looking at me intently now. "_Ephraim took me home the next day, with Billy as well. Sent me and Billy up to my room and talked to my dad until nightfall came again. When we came down for dinner, everything had changed and nothing was ever the same again"._

"_You know when I walked in this house the day Bella came back from Jacksonville I thought I was seeing a ghost. I swear I thought it was Ephraim standing next to her."_

I swallowed deeply then. I knew the stories of my grandfather, I knew he was the Alpha of the the last pack to stand before mine. I didn't remember him, he had passed before I was born. Billy had never mentioned what Charlie knew or didn't know, but it was clear that he was allowed much closer to the Elders and the tribe in general than most outsiders. I wondered how much influence my grandfather had had over that. Would he have known that he was saving the father of the next Alpha's imprint? Was that why he took him to his home, rather than taking a scared little boy back to his own home as most people would have done?

"He was a good man, a strong leader. The Council still speak highly of him to this day". I answered him, Charlie nodded at me.

"_From that day, all my life from then on, I trusted him. I trusted him when he told me to become a police officer. I trusted him when he told me to let them go and that she would find her way back to me. I trusted him with my life and with those of everyone around him."_ I had known Charlie for such a long time and I had never heard these type of things from him. I scared me but it also made me proud, of who I was, who I came from.

"_Billy and I have been friends a long time, Harry too. I've never troubled them for Council business and I've minded my own, even when we disagreed on things. I never troubled them when Sam walked out of the forest with my baby when no one else could find her."_ Charlie gripped the folder and handed it to me but I continued to stare at him.

"_I'd been working on some other missing people cases with some of the local forces and they had one of them shrinks involved. He said that this looks more like a serial sex attacker, that someone is targeting these girls. I need to know Jake, when you said that you would protect my baby, I need to know if you meant like that like a boyfriend, or if you meant it the way Ephraim would have said it? _I was trembling, not shaking like I was going to phase, but trembling now. I loved this guy to the core, why was he asking me this? if he knew, really knew like he seemed to, about the Council, about the rules, why was he asking me questions if he knew I couldn't answer him?

Charlie snatched the folder out of my hands and opened it, laying it out on the hood of the car. He spread out the photos, there were six girls in all, all late teens to early twenties, he picked them up furiously, thrusting them in my face "_Look at her!", _a girl with the same long brown wavy hair curling over her shoulders. He thrust another _"Look at her!" _another with the same pale skin, and a fragile looking body._ "Tell me I can trust you, tell me I can trust you like I trusted him"_. He was sobbing now and the pain of this along with the terrible truth that was lying on the hood of my car had tears rolling down my face as well.

I looked at the photos again, picking up those of the two we had killed in the last few days, as a leech I hadn't seen it, even when Sam had tried to imagine the first one whilst she was still human, but here was undeniable proof. Each of these girls, looked similar to the beautiful angel cooking furiously inside. This was not random, this was a message, someone was coming for my queen.

There was a lot of noise coming our way, and I pulled Charlie up straight as the pack descended on the garage. There was immediate silence as everyone took in the tense atmosphere between us. I grabbed the remaining 4 pictures and addressed my wolves, minding my words in Charlie's presence. "You will eat, then you will find". I passed the photos to them, flinching as I heard the gasps as everyone saw what I had.

"Jared and Quil to the South, Paul and Embry to the West, Seth and I will go East, converge North. Eat now, and remember to thank Bella for the food." They headed straight to the kitchen. "Leah, Bella is to go to your house, keep her busy. I want a study programme drawn up, probably 3 afternoons a week, for all the guys, I think with you and Bella tutoring everyone it should work". She nodded and filed over to the kitchen.

Sam was looking between Charlie and myself. "_Jake"_ his thought broke into my mind and the sickness wobbled me, _"he's still an outsider_". I cut the connection and nodded. "Charlie, Sam and I ran in to some trouble recently near the res, we frightened off a guy who was getting too close to someone. Perhaps if Sam was to help you with a description, you could circulate it to the schools, encourage girls to be on their guard?" Charlie nodded and I waved Sam to the kitchen. I looked at Charlie then "You should eat too, it's going to be a long day".

Charlie shook his head. "_I'll leave you to do your thing, I'll wait for Sam at the station"._ He turned and moved towards the door. I breathed a deep sigh, thankful that for the second time today I wasn't being pushed any more. "_Jake, just one thing"_ he turned, a small smile appearing on his troubled face "_Leah at Bella's school, that's your doing isn't it?_" I looked at him softly and smiled, rubbing my hand over my hair. "You have a good day now, Chief Swan" I said with a nod. He nodded back and smiled wider, heading out to the cruiser.

I headed in, all of the pack were eating heartily, as was dad. Bella stood, leaning against the counter, her face a picture of smug satisfaction as she nibbled on a piece of toast. I kissed the top of her head and grabbed my plate. Quil piped up _"Was the leech you guys took out last night the one who went missing from the party?"_ Bella's expression changed into a look of confusion. I moved to her side "It's going to be OK". She nodded _"I'm alright, but...you know it can't be right?" _She had everyone's attention now.

"Honey, why don't explain what you mean". I was as interested as the rest of them. "OK_, well if you attacked a vampire that was up and moving, it can't have been someone from the party. When someone is turned, it will take three days for the transformation to take place. In that time they will be in a painful coma almost, burning from the inside. They would be noisy and screaming most likely. The one you found last night would have had to have been turned maybe Wednesday? That would mean you won't find the person from the party until at least Tuesday"._

She stopped, then trembled slightly. I rubbed her arms. "Thank you". She leaned against me, I could sense her tiredness already. This must be hard on her, like two worlds colliding, except this time she on the other side of the battle. It didn't take long for the guys to demolish her hard work and then they were all piling out the door, saying their 'thank yous' as they went.

I went to follow them and felt her little arms wrap round my waist. I turned inside them and smiled at her little worried face. "_Come home safely"_she said, her voice breaking on the last word. I pulled her up to my height and crushed her against my chest. "I'm the big bad wolf, it's them that should be afraid".


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews, you guys made me blush with all the praise! **

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owes all of Twilight, I just play in her universe.**

* * *

**[BPOV]**

Leah had dragged us off down to her house, I'd left the truck there yesterday so we were walking, to be honest, I was glad of the distraction and I think she knew this. She kept going on about a tutoring programme but all that kept swimming in front of my eyes were images of people I knew being changed against their will. Oh God, Angela. I stopped in my tracks.

"Leah, what about Angela? Is she OK? Did she get home safe?" I was panicked now and Leah gripped my hand hard. "_She's fine, Seth spoke to her before we came over, she'd already heard about the missing girl from her mom, she'll be careful."_ Leah reassured me.

I calmed somewhat then. Leah's hand continued to hold mine. How did I used to manage without her? She was like the big sister I never knew I needed. Speaking of big sisters "So how are you with the whole Seth and Angela thing? I mean in theory she is still dating someone."

"_and in theory he is still only 15 years old, even if no one would ever believe that". _I smiled then. "_but it's kind of cool that they like each other, without the whole big 'whoosh' we're imprinted thing, no offence of course, she's not really looking to start anything, he wouldn't have a clue how to start anything, so it's all cool by me. I mean if it was one of the others after her, I would probably have a lot more to say on the matter. Especially if it was Paul". _She shuddered at the thought.

"Is he really that bad?" This was the second time that it had been suggested that Paul wasn't exactly boyfriend material. "_Oh he's definitely that bad! When Seth first phased, Sam wouldn't let him and Paul be phased at the same time, he was worried Seth would be irreparably damaged. Paul had the morals of a crack-addicted pirate before he became a wolf, and now he can get with anything he lays his eyes on, he has the morals of an egotistical crack-addicted pirate. I'm sure he could make even Jerry Springer blush". _

As we got to Leah's house, Harry was waiting to greet us. "_How are my two favourite young ladies?", _Leah smiled and gave her dad a hug. "_We've been set a task dad, for the pack". _Her voice changed significantly as she addressed her father, I could feel the warmth and the love radiating from them. I guess what Seth had said yesterday made some sense, with her changed role, Leah seemed more comfortable with everything, the sarcastic biting undertone was gone and there was a hint of pride in her tone.

"_Well, let's go through to the kitchen and you can tell me all about it, your mother's just got a pie out of the oven"_. I smiled at Leah, who rolled her eyes "_Some things will never change!"_ but even that was said with love, rather than the dismay I had heard last time.

We settled round the table and Leah explained about the tutoring that Jake had suggested. It seemed to please Harry no end. He got out some paper and began writing things down. Leah suggested that we would need the recent report cards for each of the pack so that we could identify the subjects that were proving to be the most problems for the whole group but then also individually look at subjects that were difficult for each of the guys. I got really excited by the whole idea but could see this taking up a lot of time. It appeared that Leah had been thinking a similar thing.

"_Dad, I know that it's been a bit of a screwy year for me, and that really I should be looking for work, you know to bring in a bit of spending money, but between going back to school, running this tutoring stuff and training and well keeping an eye on Miss Danger Magnet here. I'm not sure it's going to be realistic. I feel like I'm about twelve again but would you and mom be OK if maybe I was to tap you for a bit of an allowance?" _I saw her face burn with humiliation at the idea but she was right, I mean between school, my own studying and running these sessions, I'm not sure that continuing at Newton's is going to really pan out.

Harry leaned back and smiled widely. "_Well, I don't really think an allowance is appropriate, given your age young lady". _Leah's face fell, and she nodded resolutely. _"It's cool, I'll manage, it was just a thought". _

"_Well how about this for a thought, the school board gives us the opportunity to run a studentship scheme, in conjunction with one of those big colleges up in the city. It gives them the opportunity to do right by the Native communities whilst allowing us the opportunity to train up our own to deliver quality education to the future generations. It would be hard work, don't get me wrong, but up to graduation you would receive a stipend for the classes you deliver as a tutor, and after graduation you would interchange between delivering classes at the school under supervision and attending classes up in the city. Your college tuition would be covered in return for the classes you teach at the school."_

I was looking at Leah with wide eyes, this would be absolutely ideal for her! She was almost bouncing off the seat, but then she stopped and looked at me. _"I would love to, honestly it's probably the most brilliant idea, but I can't, I have my responsibilities. I wouldn't be able to be up in the city when I was needed here". _

Harry's smile couldn't have got any bigger "_You do an old man proud. I never thought a day would come when I would hear you turn something down because of your sense of duty, but young lady, who on earth is going to be minding Bella whilst she's in the classes if you don't?"_

I spluttered then, shock hitting me, _"_Me? But how can I possibly? I mean it sounds amazing, and perfect because I hadn't thought... and now with Jake....and Billy but ...I mean...how can I be eligible?

"_You mean, we both train to be teachers, together?"_ Leah cut in to my babbling. Harry nodded. She leapt up, grabbing me from the chair and hugged me tightly.

"Leah, still need to breathe!" Leah released me from her death grip, excitement bubbling all over her face. "But Harry, seriously, I can understand it for Leah but I don't see how I can be eligible, I mean I'm not Quileute". I turned to Harry puzzled, he seemed completely confused by my question.

"_It's very simple Bella, the studentship is available to any Quileute" _he gestured to Leah_ "or their wives" _I saw him gesture to myself, then it was only blackness.

'SLAP'

'SLAP'

"_Bella, for Christssakes, will you wake up"_.

My eyelids fluttered and Leah's face was looming. I appeared to be lying on the couch in the front room now.

"_OK, so you ran with leeches, you can be attacked and mauled and thrown around in general, you are quite happy to cuss out giant werewolves, you live a life full of myths and legends and MARRIAGE makes you pass out???" _Leah did not seem to understand my extreme aversion to the entire principle.

"Please don't say that word". I cringed. Leah laughed her great dirty laugh and sat me up, giving me a much gentler hug. "_It's nice to see that even you have breaking point. I was beginning to think that nothing would ever faze you". _

"It's just such a scary concept, that's all". Leah had her head tilted, an expression of confusion clearly written on it "_But you guys are imprinted, that's way bigger than m.."_ I put my hand up to stop her saying it.

"Yes, but that's fine, and believe me I would be happy with that for the rest of my life, I feel no need to get married" She raised her eyebrows. "_OK, well then, just as well we all had good fun at the betrothal then"_she shrugged her shoulders.

"At the what?" now it was my turn to look confused. "_You know, the betrothal, the declaration of beloved, she's mine, everyone know it, the bonfire?"_ Leah was looking at me like I was from another planet. "_You do know that's kind of the equivalent of your engagement parties I suppose". _WHAT??? My breath was erratic, gasping almost.

_"Did Jake talk to Charlie before the bonfire?"_ My mind was racing, had he, of course he had, after dinner, when they went outside, I hadn't asked what they talked about but...engaged?? 

_"Did Jake mention the 'beloved' before the bonfire?"_ argh, what had he said, something about it when he was talking to Mike.

"_Bella, didn't you make a declaration? Tell him that you were his, you belonged to him?"_My face coloured completely then, of course I had, those were the words I had spoken when he had woken up, the things I had told him as we were being intimate.

"Leah, let me get this straight, as far as you and everyone else in the tribe is concerned Jake and I are engaged?" She nodded, "_And given the imprinting, all that remains is the Unity Ceremony and you'll be all official". _I put my hand to my head, and rubbed my eyes. I fell back on the couch. "I'm not talking about this any more, OK?"

It was too much to take in, but given the danger of the situation the wolves were out their facing, I was not going to make a big thing out of it now. But once I knew Jake was home and safe, he was definitely getting a piece of my mind.

The rest of the day passed without drama. Harry had been to the Elders and obtained the report cards for the pack, I didn't ask why the Elders would have them, but I guess they were very close with the school. I was shocked to say the least. Aside from Seth and Jared who were just about maintaining a C+ average, the rest were awful. I sat contemplating Jake's for a long time. It was clearly only the Elders intervention that was actually keeping the pack from flunking, average kids with these grades would have been kicked out a long time ago. I mentioned to Harry that I would need the school board details for each of the grades, as I wasn't sure how similar their classes are to mine, and Leah couldn't remember back.

It seemed that Jared and Paul were in my year, well what was now mine and Leah's year, so we had the least amount of time to make an impact for them. We were back round the table again, and I pointed out to both that with some focused work I could see us being able to pull Jared through but I shook my head when it came to Paul's.

"If we had another year, maybe, but I'm not sure even working with him every single day to graduation would be enough." Harry nodded seriously and glanced to Leah to see if she agreed. "_Bella's right, he's failing every single class, even gym, I mean how does a wolf fail gym?"_

Harry took his card and moved it over to sit next to Jake, Quil and Embry's. _"I'll inform the school board, and Jake will let him know the decision"_, I looked at Harry confused

"What do you mean?" I then suddenly answered myself, "he'll repeat a grade? Because I say so?" I stared at him

"_Do you doubt your assessment?_" He asked. "Well no but I'm just a kid Harry, since when did my opinion carry so much weight?"

"_Well, since you became the Alpha's..._" he faltered "_..significant life partner..?? Is that the accepted term these days? _I grimaced again, oh good Lord. I can barely get my head around this.

Ignoring the giant white elephant in the room again, I returned to the report cards. Seth was the only one in the youngest year and with just a little more motivation would probably do OK. That just left the three, well now four, in the year below mine. They were all as bad as each other and it looked as if Leah and I would need a full programme approach, tackling every subject. I sat back drinking my juice and contemplating.

"OK, so here's my idea. Seth's doing OK, just needs a little motivator, perhaps we could ask Angela is she's interested in tutoring him. Maybe Harry, you could write her a letter of recommendation for college?" Leah smiled and nodded, "We work with these four three times a week after school – Monday, Wednesday, Friday. These should probably be somewhere on the res as it's so many of them, Jared studies with us Tuesday and Thursday. This could be at mine. Saturday is used for any major projects or significant issues anyone has. Sunday we all exhale and sleep! How does that sound?" It was a lot of work, but it seemed realistic. Harry seemed impressed and Leah was agreeable.

I was invited to stay for dinner, it had been a long time since the guys left and I was hoping they would be back soon. Sue asked us to pop to the store and pick up a few things she needed.

Leah and I wandered down to the store, it was not a long walk and a pleasant evening, we were chatting happily about the tutoring, although both of us were a little nervous about how Paul was going to take the news.

After getting the groceries we were walking back when Leah suddenly stopped, standing bolt upright. She dropped the bag she was holding and grabbed my arm, pulling me close to her side. I was holding my breath, her actions could only mean one thing.

We were in danger.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Yes, I know I'm evil with the cliffhanger again, still forgive me, your reviews make up for the ice-cream I gave up for Lent, maybe I should have given cliffhangers up too!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to ; The Quileute are a real tribe and I apologise for any offence my runaway imagination may cause to their heritage.**

* * *

Leah's head was twisting around. Her eyes scanned the road and the nearby trees. Her breathing was fast but controlled. I didn't dare even breathe. Something was coming, or was here, or I don't know, but I knew to trust her instinctively. I was beginning to learn now, unlike before where I would try and solve things on my own, some things were just best left to the professionals, including my own safety. She moved into a crouch, a posture I knew was defensive, designed to offer me the best protection, so I kept close to her, holding my breath.

Suddenly she grabbed me round the waist, threw me over her shoulder and began to run. This was fast, and not designed with my comfort in mind and I was being thrown around, my stomach heaved and I felt fluid leaking from my mouth. For a moment I was embarrassed and could feel myself blushing in shame that I had thrown up on her clothes. Then I realised we had bigger things to worry about. We slammed into the house, I could hear Leah screaming for her mom and dad. There was lots more banging around as she vaulted up the stairs. The next thing I knew I was being plopped unceremoniously into a bathtub.

Sue was by my side leaning over the bathtub trying to reassure me and Harry was standing nervously behind the closed door. I scanned around, I didn't recognise the room.

Sue whispered in my ear "_It's the en-suite, Leah said it didn't have a window"._

I nodded, shaking violently. Sue grabbed one of the fluffy bathrobes and wrapped it round my shoulders, then got a washcloth and wiped round my mouth.

"Where is she?" I whispered.

Harry was trying to peer through a crack in the door. He moved over and whispered to us "_She's changed and is guarding the door from the outside". _

After several minutes there was the sound of windchimes. I looked nervously as Sue as her face crumpled _"the front door", _she barely even breathed the words.

We were silent then, I think everyone was holding their breath. There was a creak close by, and I could feel the blood draining from my body that must have been the bedroom door. I could hear snarling, snapping, and ferocious sounding growls that I instinctively knew belonged to Leah. Then there was a menacing howl from outside the house, followed by another, then many more. I clamped my hands over my ears as I heard high pitched screaming and an ear-splitting metallic screaching sound. There were more growls and snarling then the sound of glass breaking and many more howls moving into the distance.

I was shaking so hard my teeth were chattering, rocking myself back and forth in the bathtub with the gown pulled tight around me. I was startled when Sue stood up beside me then realised that Jake was standing in the now open doorway. I launched myself at him, desperate to be held in his arms. He managed to stop me falling as I scrambled towards him, gathering me up to his chest. "Who w...w..was it?" I managed to get out.

Jake sat down on the bed with me on his lap stroking my hair and trying to calm me. Sue and Harry made their way out of the room.

"_Shush, my angel, everything's fine. Calm down. There were two of them, both females, Leah took one out in here, the other went out the window. The guys are taking care of it."_ I nodded, gripping tightly to his arm.

"And today, did you find the other two?" I questioned, wanting to know if this was over now.

Jake let out a big sigh. _"We took out five". _I pulled back, trying to look at his face.

"Five but..." Jake nodded his head "_I know baby, I know". _He stroked my hair again. His face looked so sad.

"_There's something else I need to tell you"_, his eyes were starting to rim with tears, and I was horrified, "someone was hurt, one of the pack, Charlie, Billy, one of the imprints??" I was panicking and shaking again, what could upset him so much?

He shook his head, the tears threatening to fall "_No, nobody was hurt, but we came across a trail whilst hunting, Sam recognised it"_. The tears started to fall and my heart was aching, I felt like my soul was hurting with his pain.

"Jake, baby please, what's happened? What trail?"

Jake dropped his head, refusing to meet my eyes anymore. "_It was one of them, he didn't know which one, but one of them". _

I was confused for a minute, one of who. Oh God, he meant it was one of the Cullens. One of the Cullens was back, and amongst these newly changed vampire girls. Hold on, was somebody I knew, somebody I had once considered family, turning these girls, why? And what does that make of the treaty?

I got up out of his lap and walked to the window, starting to gather up the pieces of broken glass in what I can only assume was once a part of the clothing that Leah was wearing, needing to do something, needing to be useful. I couldn't imagine any of them actively hunting down people to turn, they had all abstained for such a long time, if they had ever indulged at all. So far as I knew only Carlisle had the strength to turn someone and Carlisle would never consume human life so carelessly. I remembered the ballet studio and the night of my birthday, how all of them had fled from me rather than be tempted, well of course apart from Jasper. I thought about Jasper, could he have slipped? I remembered Edward explaining about how it was a greater struggle for him, could he be having some psychotic breakdown after the events of the birthday party and now be biting people all over the place? It seemed unlikely that the others would allow him to engage in such a thing.

I turned to Jake to express my confusion. He was standing, leaning on the door frame, looking at the wall. "Jake?" He turned to me, the tears were flowing down his face. "_It's ok baby, you don't need to say anything, I understand_".

I stood, stunned now. Understand what? why was he crying? The revelation hit me hard. The Cullens, he understands? Oh God, he's letting me go. I stood up as tall as I could and charged at him. My fists were flying, I knew I couldn't hurt him but he needed to know how mad I was right now.

"You're giving me up?" I asked incredulously, "You're not even going to put up a fight for me, that's it, they walk back into town and you throw in the towel, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME!" I screamed. How dare he?

Part of me wanted to hug him and reassure him, but part of me was indignant with rage, how could he think so little of everything we were building together. Did he really think I was so fickle that I was just making do with him until the better option returned?

I was so angry now and I did not want to continue this conversation here with Leah's parents just downstairs, so I pushed past him and stomped down the stairs. I went out the back door hoping to see Leah but I could only make out one wolf in the vicinity, and I wasn't sure if it was her. In fact I didn't really care but I wanted to go home and despite my anger I was trying to act more responsibly. I knew the only sensible option would be to take someone with me.

I stomped up in front of the wolf "You, wolf, change now and get in my truck, you're coming with me, and make sure you put some clothes on!" I shouted.

I threw myself into the truck. I couldn't believe what had gone on. Then my passenger door was opened and I saw Quil's face "_I'm not sure if I'm the best person for this"_ he stated with his eyebrows raised.

"Right now I couldn't care less if you were the King of Siam or Donald Duck, you're a wolf and you'll do. Sit your butt down and shut up". I threw the truck into reverse and peeled out of the driveway.

Quil remained silent for the ride home and for that I was grateful. We got to the house and I let him in. He followed a polite distance behind, still not speaking. I needed something to do, something to focus on so I started making some dinner, I decided to do something that required tenderising so that I could take my anger out on some meat.

He sat down and watched me working. "_Why are you angry?"_

I pounded the little hammer into the meat. "I thought I told you to shut up?" I hit it again hard. "Did you think I was going to go running back?" I asked aggressively.

"_Given what you are doing with that meat, I'd probably better not answer that"_ he grimaced.

"Fine, well that might have been your impression, but why did Jake think that it would?" I slapped the meat again.

"_Maybe he just can't believe how lucky he is? Maybe he thinks that being with you is too good to be true?"_ Quil was gazing off into the distance as he spoke.

"_Maybe he thinks he's not worthy of you"_. I walked around the table to where Quil was sitting and sat down in the chair next to him.

"But he's the Alpha, and this super powerful one at that, if anyone is not worthy around here then it is me. He does everything, takes care of everyone. Why would he think I would walk away from him when he is such an unbelievably amazing person?"

"_Maybe because the thought of being his wife made you pass out cold?"_ Quil retorted.

I stopped, shocked, then realised that when Leah had changed to guard the bathroom door, that her mind, everything we had shared and talked about, every fear I had expressed had suddenly been available to the pack and most importantly to Jake for the first time since we had got home from our trip. He had watched me faint at the thought of being his wife, look horrified at the idea of being engaged to him.

"Why do I hurt him like this?" I felt the tears roll down my face, it wasn't that I didn't want to be with Jake, not at all, it was just that I was so uncomfortable with the idea of marriage, of damaging something that was so perfect. But of course in Jake's mind I was rejecting him all over again, and with a Cullen returning, it was a natural assumption that I would be rejecting him for someone else.

"_Do you love him?"_ Quil asked quietly.

The question sounded so small, it was as if that little word didn't have enough meaning to convey everything. "I live him, I breathe him, I am him and he is me, this isn't just love, this is destiny". I responded honestly.

Quil stood up and moved to the door, as he opened it I gasped as I saw Jake standing there. Well, he wasn't exactly standing, he was slumped against the wall, looking sick and pale. They both shook their heads and Jake stood up a bit straighter. I realised then that Jake had been inside Quil's mind the whole time.

I took Jake's hand and pulled him into the kitchen, I placed it over my heart "It beats for you" I said quietly. His fingers traced my skin above the neckline of my top. "It belongs to you".

His eyes met mine. "_But you don't want to be my wife_?" I flinched and sighed. I wouldn't lie to him.

"I don't want to be anybody's wife, I'm sorry".

His face fell and I saw the tears threaten again. I needed him to understand, I needed him to get this, to truly get me. Then I realised...

"Jake, what is Quileute for wife?" He looked at me, confused. "_I...I don't know...I'm not so good in the classes..."_

I raised my eyebrows and he gave me a bashful smile. "Jake, this thing with us, we are so much bigger than just husband and wife, we are so much more than something that can be destroyed by divorce or nullified by a piece of paper. I want to make a deal with you.."

He straightened, clearly I had caught his interest and he was giving me his full attention now. "Leah mentioned something about a Unity ceremony". He nodded "it_'s like a wedding thing_".

"Is that was all the Quileute do?" I asked, he nodded in response.

I shook my head, "Well that's not good enough, if that's what everybody does." He continued to stare.

"Somewhere, in your tribal stories, in your histories, there is a ceremony that is fit only for the Alpha, only for the most wonderful man in the tribe, when he is joined with his imprint".

Jake's eyes grew huge. "So here is the deal, you have to take the classes, both the language and the history, and you have to find the ceremony that is right for us, for me and my fabulous Super-Alpha, and you have to learn enough of your language to be able to conduct the ceremony, and then, whatever it is that I am called, in Quileute, whatever it is that makes me the one who gets to stand by you until the end of days, then I will be it. I will even have it tattooed on my body somewhere of you wish".

I stood tall, facing him as my equal, my love, my own personal sun, "So do we have a deal?"


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Massively huge thanks to the reviewers for some fabulously long reviews! I eat them up like candy with a huge smile on my face! Ok - we have finally reached the end of Week 1. Thank you to all of those you have enjoyed the journey through the first week of Bella and Jacob's relationship - we've had horny vampires, imprinting, loving, fighting, girly trips, despair, druggings, violent awakenings, lovin' on the rug, Father talks, engagements, bonfires, naughty dancing, lookalike vampires, a Cullen, more fighting and wedding plans, not to mention a Super-Powerful Alpha Jake! Hah, no wonder I'm tired. Still, there's plenty more ticking in my crazy brain for Week 2!

Disclaimer: owes Twilight, I lent my copy to my mom!

* * *

I grabbed hold of both sides of her face as gently as I could. I was shaking with disbelief. After what I had seen through Leah's mind I was fully surrendered to the fact that I was loosing her, and now not only did she seem utterly indifferent to the fact that we had found a Cullen trail, she was also cutting deals for a mythical wedding ceremony. Trust my queen to find a unique way to go about everything.

"Are you sure about this, I mean what if I find something that requires us to go on a month long spirit walk then cover ourselves in body paint and chant all night?" I mean some of the older traditions were not exactly known for being straight-forward.

She nodded and smiled "_check, check and check_".

"What if I have to go and hunt a big bear and then use it's blood to write I love you doodles all over your stomach" I asked, the sheer excitement making me a little silly now.

"_No tickling and you have to hold my nose". _She grinned back.

"Bella, what if I have to hurt you?" She looked at me curiously and I felt quite serious now. "Well, some of the stories I have heard about talk of blood ceremonies, what if it's one of those?"

She stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the chin "_Find it first, then we'll worry about what it says. You just want to get out of more classes mister, don't you?"_

I pulled her tight to me "It'll be worth it if I get to call you my not-wife-but-mythical-tribal-version-of-wife".

As she snuggled to my chest she giggled "_Well I hope it's slightly shorter than that if I'm going to get it tattooed"._

I held on to her tightly, breathing her comforting scent in. Life was about to get very busy, between patrols, and meetings with the Elders, school, tutoring sessions three times a week, and these history and language classes, I don't think I'm going to be having any time to sleep, let alone have a life. Guess that idea of getting out on a date with Bella has gone out of the window. Oh God, history classes, that meant I'd have to be spending time with Ms Stillwell, urgh, and I been planned on skipping even her regular classes, let alone extra-curricular time.

I let Bella drag me into the living room, full of her bubbling news about the tutoring programmes and the studentship offer. I was very surprised that Harry had offered it to Bella, I was aware that Leah would be eligible and it always seemed like the sort of thing that would have suited her, well apart from when she was having her eighteen months of hating the world period. I know Harry and Billy have my best interests at heart but some of the other Elders don't seem as friendly towards me and the other wolves, so it's interesting that they agreed.

I was even more shocked to hear that they have planned to make Paul repeat a grade, this was going to make for a very interesting evening meeting with the Elders. Leah turned up on schedule, I'd arranged for her to be staying the night with Bella, I would have preferred to have been here myself but I wanted to respect the rules Charlie had laid down. She had arrived in tears, worried that Bella would be angry with her for 'spilling her secrets' but after lots of girly hugging and reassuring they seemed content. Leah was very interested in Bella's idea for the ceremony and asked if I would look out for anything on she-wolves whilst I was going through the histories. I promised her I would and wished her the best for her first day at the new school then dragged Bella outside for a private moment.

I tilted her head up to mine and pressed my lips against hers, I love her so much and Quil is right, some times I really can't get over the fact she is truly mine. I pulled back slightly "Baby I have to go and give a report to the Elders on today, and break the news to Paul about his classes tomorrow".

She kissed me again and nodded "_Be Safe". _I think there were a thousand words that both of us wanted to say to avoid having to leave, but I knew the Elders were waiting for me. I pulled off my shorts, and smirked at the blush that coloured her cheeks. I loved the feeling that she was attracted to me, and how shy she was about it. After tying them I shuddered into the phase. It didn't feel as smooth when I was standing still but I wanted one final look at my queen to last me through the first day back at school. She put her arms around my neck and nuzzled into my fur. It never ceased to amaze me that she was as comfortable with me in this form as she was with the human me. I gave her a lick which made her giggle and shot off into the woods.

When I got to the Lodge I could sense that Sam, Paul and Embry were already present. I knew Jared and Quil were running the patrol and Seth wanted to be at home to keep an eye on his parents after the events of the day. Phasing out I silently dispatched Embry home, he didn't need to be at the meeting and his mom was giving him grief about his constant disappearing so hopefully getting home for dinner might buy him a little space. Paul and Sam were standing silently in front of the assembled Elders. I walked past dad and gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head before taking my place. I couldn't help but catch the scowl that Ms Stillwell threw in my direction.

Sam provided the Elders with a comprehensive update of the day's events and there was much conferring and tutting. It seemed that the Elders were as distrustful of a Cullen presence in the midst of this sudden rise in leech activity as the wolves were, however they dutifully reminded us of the treaty and its specifics. Harry informed the Elders that Leah and Bella had accepted the studentship and outlined the tutoring programme. Paul had clearly tuned out during the bulk of the discussion because it was only when he heard is name linked with myself, Quil and Embry that he suddenly piped up.

"_What do you mean I'm on the tutoring programme with the others, I should be on the same one as Jared". _He quizzed in his usual hostile tone.

Harry simply turned to me "_Alpha"_ he gestured. I moved across to where Paul was standing. "Paul, it has been evaluated and given the grades you are scoring, it has been decided that you will repeat the previous grade, to give you time to increase your grades to an acceptable level". I intoned in a serious voice.

Paul was outraged "_Evaluated? Decided? By who? By Leah and Bella? You're going to let those bitches hold me back a grade?"_

Something snapped inside of me, after our last episode, he still dared to degrade the name of my queen. I felt the control slip and feared for a moment that I might phase endangering those around me. However instead I felt the darkness slip out and weave its way around my eyes, my thoughts. He flew across the room, I knew I had thrown him yet my arms were still by my sides. The energy was strong, coursing through my veins, the power was eating away at my insides. I went to shout, to scream at him, to hurl abuse back at him, but a roar ripped from me instead, and inside that roar were words, words I didn't know, spewing forth from me with rage, anger and hatred.

Paul was on the ground bent over underneath me as the words poured out of me. I was aware of the the screams of another, the cry of "_Stop Him!"_, then I felt Sam grip my face and turn it to his. His eyes locked mine and I felt that I was looking into his soul and it feared me, I was shaking, no don't fear me, don't fear me because if you are afraid then Bella would be afraid and she must never fear me. I was panting, on my knees now with Sam still close to me.

The voice that had screamed was shouting now "_Do you see? This is twice now, he is too young to control the power, he speaks words he has no concept of". _

Ms Stillwell stood in front of me now, _"You have no control, that was a banishment incantation, do you even know what that was? Do you know what you could have done? You are like an over-grown child playing with fire". _

"_Hannah" _My dad's voice calmed me even though he was shouting.

"_Do not let your anger at the wolves make you forget you are addressing the Alpha" _I noticed her flinch and step back.

"_If anything you should feel shame that an Alpha has come to stand without the knowledge of his language so that he can understand the power that flows within him." _Her face coloured deeply.

"_Would you rather he was an older man, like before, would you wish a repeat of our histories? Or would you rather embrace that this pack have been given the chance to start afresh and teach them what they need to know?"_

I was confused, and overwhelmed. I knealt there as Sam helped Paul to his feet and sent him on his way. The other Elders began to disperse, several patting me and Sam on the shoulders as they passed. Ms Stillwell was not one of them. Once it was just dad and Harry left I dropped to a sitting position on the floor.

"I'm sorry" I couldn't justify myself to them. What I had done was wrong. Both my teacher and even Bella could see that I didn't know enough about who I was yet.

"Dad, what are these words? Why do they keep coming out of me when I don't even know them?" I felt ashamed of myself, and ignorant.

"_I don't think even I know what they are, they are ancient powers that are available only to an Alpha. In theory you should have enough knowledge to be able to understand them and channel them appropriately, however, as is the case for so many of the young generations, our language is disappearing from all our minds not just yours, so instead your Alpha energy is accessing them, without your conscious mind being able to decide whether they are right or wrong. You are right to feel shame, but no more so than any of us who can no longer sing the lullabies our mothers rocked us to sleep with or read the stories our grandfathers wrote down for us" _Billy spoke sadly now.

I nodded and resolved that no matter how much she hated me, I would be learning everything I could from Ms Stillwell. As I did so, I realised part of what had been said earlier. "Dad, what did you mean about it being better that I am not an older man?"

Billy sighed, as did Harry, who settled near me in a sitting position and motioned for Sam to do the same. "_Our people had lived in peace for many years and no pack was needed and no Alpha stood. Then the Cold Ones settled and the threat raised the pack, as it did in your time. However, the last time, those who would become the pack were at a different time of their lives. They were men, in their twenties and thirties, men with lives, jobs, men with families."_

Sam gasped as Billy continued "_Four men became wolves, your grandfather Ephraim along with __the Uley, Clearwater and Aterea men. You are right Sam, exactly right, the unthinkable happened, four wonderful families were suddenly ripped apart, as the wolves imprinted, except this time, there were many children already born in these families, children whose fathers inexplicably simply ceased loving their mothers overnight. Three of the wives fled to neighbouring tribes, taking the children with them, building new lives away from the pain and horror they would see watching their former husbands with their imprints. We monitor their heirs, mindful of the phasing_".

I realised then "Embry?". My father nodded, _"Not that we didn't find your gossiping interesting but did you really think one of us old goats had been playing the field? Both of his grandmother's were those who left interestingly, perhaps his mother was drawn to someone who could understand her sense of loss. His father is in fact now married and living happily with their assumed tribe. His grandmother on his mother's side was previously an Aterea and his grandmother on his father's side was previously a Uley."_

I nodded, breathing a sigh of relief, it has always been a thorn in our side that one of our father's might have been unfaithful and despite the terrible reality of the story it was nice to have that mystery solved. I tried to imagine the pain we had all seen through Leah's eyes, magnified through the eyes of four women who had built their lives with these men, borne them children, only to have it torn away on the whim of a coven of leeches.

Sam's voice pulled me out of my wondering, "_Who remained, you said three women left, who stayed?"_

Billy's face looked grave "_My father's first wife stayed within the tribe, she had duties to the Elders and was privy to the knowledge, she knew of the stories of the wolves and whilst she knew the stories of the imprinting, she did not accept the situation with grace. She and her daughter went by her unmarried name and nobody spoke of it anymore. My father wished to remain involved in his daughter's life but his mother forbade it. She was only told of it after he had passed on. She has been invited to become part of her family's life but she has refused consistently over the years"._

Everything clicked into place like a giant jigsaw puzzle "and now she's my history teacher who hates me and everything I represent, and also holds the key to me getting Bella to marry me".

I lay down on the floor "_Just great! Did I tell everyone how much I hated school?"_


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thanks again for your lovely reviews, ideas, thoughts. Little advance warning, slightly dark theme in this chapter, have tried to keep it appropriate to rating. If it's not your cup of tea, skip the last couple of paragraphs and just know something bad happened, the next chapter will still make sense.**

**Disclaimer: Words keep going missing from previous disclaimers so I will just say again I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

4.37

4.38

4.39

This game was getting very boring. I'd started trying to work out how my heartbeats I had in a minute, that was after I had counted how many tiles there were around the kitchen, how many times the refridgerator made random extra buzzing sounds, and watched a spider spinning it's web in the top corner of the room.

OK now I want to be really clear, I am not in any way shape or form worried about going back to school, I mean I'm a she-wolf, I can kick a guy's butt across the state line if I have to, hell, I even took out my first leech, single-handed, in a confined space just yesterday, so damn straight I'm not scared of going back to school. This is clearly just a little case of insomnia. Or maybe too much adrenaline from the fight, or maybe too much estrogen from our girly chats last night, but I am definitely not scared of going back to school.

4.44

4.45

There was a sudden sound and my whole body went on alert. Hold on, I recognise that scent, what on earth? I quietly unlocked the back door and poked my head out "Seth?" I hissed.

He wandered out of the trees with a basket in his hand. I felt my forehead crease in confusion. He whispered "_You never did sleep on the first day of school, mom made you some pancakes"._

I smiled, it was so weird, my family were such good people, and for a long time now I really had lost sight of that. Seth came inside and set the basket on the table. I went to move it "Seth, why is the handle all wet?".

He tilted his head at me "_How did you think I carried it?"_ Oh yuck, I wiped my hand on my pjs and picked it up by the base instead.

"All quiet last night?" My mind had been racing with horrible images and thoughts. But Seth just nodded as he dug into the pancakes. "_But not so quiet in the evening"_

I listened intently as he relayed all the information he had heard about the Elders meeting. My brother could give the girls a run for their money when it came to gossip, he absolutely loved to know what was going on. I was shocked at Jake's outburst, I had thought the first time when he took the Alpha from Sam had been a one-off, but if this was going to be a more frequent occurrence I felt it likely that I would need to discuss this with Bella. It wasn't that I didn't trust him with her, but she needed to know exactly what was going on so that she could watch out for any signs.

I felt myself shaking when I heard what had led to his outburst. Paul said what? He called me that a thousand times or more when I was on patrol with him or at training but Bella, no he didn't. I rubbed my hands smugly, I'd been a little unhappy about the thought of having to tutor him for the extra year, but now bring it on, you are about to get a whole years worth of hell back with interest. I decided to suggest to dad that the Elders could call a meeting with the parents, Paul's especially, to discuss their required extra curricular support. For Quil's mom and Billy, it would just be for show as they knew the deal, for Embry's mom it might actually make her feel better, but boy would it give the chance to whip Paul's parents into some kind of frenzy.

Seth went on to tell me what had happened later, apparently Sam had been so tripped out by it all that he hadn't felt up to going straight home and so had come and hung out with dad for most of the night. Seth had made a move, to get home and get ready for school. I kissed him and gave him a hug, he shrugged me off with an "_urgh, cooties_", which made me smile.

I sat back down in a daze. I tried to get my head around it. It made my own drama pale in comparision. What would it had been like if they hadn't come when they did, but 5 years later? If I was grown and Sam and I had got married, been blessed with a child, or children even? Myself and other women just cast aside, unwanted, unloved with small children depending on us. Would I have run away as I watched Emily take my place? Would Sam have insisted on keeping the children and raised them with Emily so that at least they had a mother who wasn't a wolf, who wouldn't have to leave them alone at night to defend the tribe? What would my children have thought of me, of their father, of themselves? My chest heaved with the emotion and I wrapped my arms around myself trying to hold myself together as the tears rolled down my face.

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around mine and I buried my head, letting the tears fall freely. "_Hush Leah, you have the strength you need, patience now"_. Once I had cried myself out, I lifted my head, had I woken Charlie? Did Seth come back? but as looked around the room I was alone. I jumped out of the chair, who was here, who had been here? I checked the door but it was still locked from where I had let Seth out. I smelled the air but there was nothing additional. My heart began to beat and I leapt soundlessly up the stairs, running to Bella's room.

As I opened the door Bella sat up in bed with her hand on her chest. I scanned the room, checking the windows. There was no one here. I could hear Charlie's peaceful breathing meaning he was still asleep. What the hell was going on? I looked at Bella, still sat motionless on the bed. "_Leah, I had the strangest dream"_. Yeah, no doubt, but I just had the strangest 'awake'!

I sat down on the end of the bed, all my senses in overdrive, I tried to listen as hard as I could through the house and outside, who the hell has been here, and what in the name of all things crazy was that humming sound? I shut my senses down trying to breathe deeply and tune everything out. Clearly all that adrenaline leftovers, sugar high from the pancakes coupled with a major case of the loony-tunes brought on by Seth's gossiping has toppled me over the edge.

I curled up next to Bella on the bed. _"I dreamt I was at your wedding but it was really weird, because I was much older, but you still looked just like you do now._" I looked at her baffled, but she was already slipping back to sleep, she gathered my hand in hers and I drifted off as well.

The dreaded alarm clock pierced through my brain some time later and then it was all a whirl of dressing and getting organised. Bella and I hopped into the truck and here I was, a bundle of nervous energy on my way to my new school. I prayed I could keep it together today and just get through the day without any drama.

We pulled into the parking lot and I recognised a lot of the people from the bonfire. All heads were turning our way, there goes my hopes for keeping things low profile. I settled for keeping a half smile plastered on my face and letting Bella drag me around. When I was coming into the first class the teacher informed me that I would need to meet some guidance woman at the end of the day. Great fun, but at least I had a life plan now so it wouldn't be like the last woman who made me want to shoot myself!

I started to relax a little as the day went on, especially seen as we bumped into Angela, she goes on my 'people I like list', it's not a very long list, there's basically Bella and Angela pretty much, I mean there's the pack, but that's more on the 'people I just about tolerate' list, and then there are some on the 'people I used to really like but who have all since abandoned me' list. So hey, well at least there are two people on my current list. A lot of the kids here are most likely going to be on either my 'people I don't want to associate with' list, or my 'people I actively dislike and wouldn't mind running into on a dark night in the woods' list. Now those are some long lists.

At lunch we ran into one who has definitely taking a starring place on the latter list. Little Miss Lauren, now I've met a lot like this one, got ok looks and a bit of ass and decided that we are going to make life hell for every other regular girl in the area. I had some fun with some of these in my last school. We were in the cafeteria when I heard her starting on Bella.

"_Don't you think it's sooo pathetic when people have to draw attention to themselves, I mean so she got another boyfriend, whoopee, how long is this one going to last, and will the whole reservation up and move when he breaks up with her?"_

I scraped my chair back, one of those long high pitched scrapes that gets everyone's attention, and wandered over to where she was standing in the queue. I lent past her and grabbed a juice from the counter. "Hey Lauren, we didn't get properly introduced the other night".

I rose up to my full height now, "by the way, I have a number for a clinic in Port Angeles, after what you let Paul do, you'll definitely want to pay them a visit, had to send his last 3 girls there too_"_

Colour rushed to her face and she began to shake. "Oh, don't forget to use a fake name, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to take it from a minor like that".

I put down my change at the register and wandered back to the table. Lauren abandoned her tray and ran from the cafeteria in tears. I scanned around, caught everyone's attention, check; cussed Lauren, check; established self as not to be messed with, check. Mission accomplished. Bella scolded me for being mean, but she did seem quite pleased although determined not to let it show.

As we were standing at the lockers afterwards, the other one approached me, what was her name again, oh yeah, this was Jessica, her eyes were red rimmed. "Wassup Jess?" I drawled, clearly making her uneasy.

"_I just...I wanted to know..."_ she dropped her voice to a whisper "_should I go too, where you said?"_ The tears started forming again, damn don't they teach them anything in sex ed here?

Bella's eyes were huge "_what you...with Paul...as well??"_. I grimaced, that boy really needed to learn to keep it in his pants.

"No, look what you did, well you should be fine, you can't catch much from that, but stop letting Lauren lead you into messy situations. You're pretty and smart, don't muck it all up on man-whores like that." I didn't dislike this one quite as much, but I still wasn't particularly sold on her behaviour.

Bella and I got to class on time, the rest of the day was proceeding without incident. I had to report to the guidance counsellor instead of going to last period, it was the only time I hadn't been right by Bella's side the whole day and it made me twitch. I could barely concentrate on what the woman was saying. Bella was in gym class. I mentally walked the route, two minutes 18 seconds it would take me at regular people pace, I was going to meet her their once this one was done with me.

She was really rambling on, about vocations and finding my way and putting the past behind me. I could hear the clock ticking away as she spoke. The fan hummed as it twisted. Someone was having an argument outside about copying a paper. There was a bird on the roof above us. There was a...there was a...OH GOD NO!

The scent wafted on the breeze, it was faint but it was here. I grabbed my bag, blaming new cafeteria food and a weak stomach and ran. I flew round the buildings counting the seconds until I hit the gym, the bell rang and people were moving in the opposite direction. I slammed through the doors. The scent was getting stronger, was it inside or just nearby, I couldn't tell my mind was racing too much.

I ran straight for the locker room, I could sense her now, she was humming faintly as she finished getting ready. Her head shot up as I barrelled into the room and she immediately stood, gravitating towards me as I moved around trying to find the best spot to protect her. I had realised when the leeches had hit us at the house that I was best suited to a frontal attack, knowing that Bella was tucked safely behind me. I backed us up to the shower room, keeping my eyes trained on the door. She stepped over the threshold and immediately slipped on the wet floor. I turned to catch her before she fell and the scent hit me as soon as I did.

As I turned back he was standing there, not quite as tall as me, but with a strong build, his dark colouring didn't make his leech features stand out as much, this was why he was able to get to the girls easier, it was so immediately obvious. His grin disgusted me, I could feel the evilness to it.

"_Now Isabella, who's your pretty friend then?"_ He rolled his words like he was attempting to seduce us. My stomach heaved.

"_I am not sure why you smell so unappealing, but once Isabella and I have finished our game I'm sure I'll be able to find out"_

Oh this one's a talker, that helps. Psycho-babble crap, bring it on baby. "What about the other girls you've been playing with, how did they smell?"

I caught his interest them, and he turned cockily "_My little proteges, they looked the same, but unfortunately they didn't smell the same, they were already spoilt, so I just had a little fun with them. Now, my Isabella, that's the real game"._

I tried to grasp the meaning behind the babble, quickly relating it to things Bella had told me about Edward, about how he had waffled on about her scent calling him, horny goat here was going on about 'spoilt'. I burst out laughing as it all clicked together.

"You moron, is this really the old virgin blood nonsense?" His nostrils flared, "_It is the sweetest nectar, the most precious liquor", "_Yeah, blah blah blah, guess what you sad little prick, you're too late!" I felt almost delirious, I could barely stop giggling at him.

"Yep, take a big sniff idiot, my big Alpha brother done hit that, tapped that, mated that already!" He flew forward and I backed up pressing Bella against the back wall behind my body. He breathed in deeply then punched the wall causing the tiling to shatter and fall. Oh crap Leah, might have pushed this too far.

He jumped landing directly in front of me, his smell almost burning up my nose. Bella was neatly tucked behind me so I couldn't move. I stared him down with contempt, then suddenly realised – Jake! I pulled my mind open, shouting his name through my consciousness. I felt the connection lock, I let him listen

"_If I cannot drink the sweetest nectar I will make do with my second favourite pasttime, do you know what that is warrior woman?" _I simply stared at him, I could sense my pack being rallied to my aid, they were phasing now, they would be here shortly, hold him off, that was all I had to do.

"_Do you know what is amusing now warrior woman, you have your charge so neatly guarded, yet you have left yourself completely unprotected"_ His hand trailed down my top. "_You could move, you could fight me, but then you would leave her unguarded, or you can stand there proud warrior woman, fight your war, but lose your battle". _His hand grazed the edge of my skirt.

I could hear Bella crying, pleading for him to stop. I could hear Jake in my mind telling me to hang on, but I felt the trickle of blood run down my leg as he ripped my skin. I bit down on my lip, this sick freak wasn't going to get a sound out of me. Jake was screaming at the others inside my mind, urging them on, faster, but I realised it might not be soon enough for me.

"Jake, don't let Seth see" I let myself cry inside my mind. Suddenly the leech stilled, tilting it's head. It stepped back and smiled at me "_We'll finish up another time warrior woman"_ and in a blur it was gone, to be replaced by the faces of my brothers as they crashed into the room. Sam reached me first, pushing past the others, gathering me up and cradling me to his chest. Jake had hold of Bella. The rest were charging off after the trail.

Bella was hysterical, calling my name and crying. I motioned for Sam to let me go and winced as I moved. I put my arms around her. "_You should have just let him bite me Leah, you shouldn't have suffered..."_ She trailed off into howling cries and I hugged her hard.

Jake stood tall, his anger etched on his face. "_I can sense him. It is your choice Leah, I will not command you, you may remain to continue protecting or you may hunt and Sam will take Bella to Emily and keep them safe". _

I straightened up, the pain already fading but the anger now taking over my body. I kissed Bella on the forehead and gestured for her to go to Sam. I loved her and I would protect her with my life but right now I needed to do this for me.

I moved through the door "Paybacks a bitch and so am I" and phased.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Huge thanks to new readers who took the time to stop and comment on every single chapter, as well as loads of love to those who are following each chapter as it posts. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

I was angry, angrier than I have been since I phased for the first time. I felt the shock radiating from the others as they joined her consciousness. I hadn't just held Seth out, I'd locked them all, fearing the worst and not knowing if she would have wanted them to live through it with her. We had prevented him from raping her but he had still had the time to violate her. I should have been faster, I cursed myself.

The anger and disgust swept through them all, driving them harder and faster. I was tracking him now, I could feel him as he moved, his deadness tainting the flow of energy around us. I would not let him escape us this time. I could feel their questions beginning to bombard her, and pulled her into my mind alone, locking the rest out.

"Thank you", I knew the words were insufficient, they always are, so I allowed my gratitude, my debt to her, soak my consciousness. Twice this proud woman had suffered for her pack, for me, for my queen. In the first instance she had been willing to die at my hand, and now she had been violated and left unclean by this leech in order to protect my love.

I listened to the thoughts Leah allowed me to share, the love she had for Bella, and it was love, it was as pure and as complete as anything I had encountered. For a moment I faltered, it was love, and coupled with her ferocious protection of her, her selfless sacrifices for Bella's protection and happiness, I wondered quietly. I tried to compare the thoughts she had with those I had witnessed in the others. This was not like the feelings I had seen in the wolves, their love for their families and friends. This was closer to what I had seen in Jared and Sam, and though I kept my thoughts to myself, I began to question, had Leah in fact imprinted on Bella?

This was all cut short by a sudden second presence, another deadness in the vicinity. I veered off, knowing that the pack and especially Leah would not allow the freak to escape this time. I moved in closer, trying to access its trail and was horrified to realise that this was the same one we had encountered before, this was the Cullen trail. It skirted the boundary line yet seemed to be weaving in the same direction we were travelling. I barrelled, closing in fast, and then skidded to a stop as I almost landed on it standing in a same clearing.

She stood tall, adopting an aggressive rather than defensive pose immediately. I could read the anger in her expression, and I realised that growing up around two sisters had just proved to be very useful. I stared intently, there was anger, rage, but also hurt and betrayal. I decided to chance it and try to negotiate; her eyes were definitely not red so I don't think she had been party to the recent turnings.

I crouched and phased, dragging on my shorts quickly. As I turned to her, her face softened slightly, seemingly in recognition and she nodded in a polite manner

"_Ephraim Black"_.

I replied politely but with caution "Grandfather, I'm Jacob'.

She nodded again "_Time flies"_.

"Are you observing the treaty?" Alright, let's Alpha this up and establish what the hell is going on.

"_I hope to, but my hunt today is more important, I cannot promise"_. I looked at her quizzically, cut to the punch, no messing; I could deal with this one.

"What is more important than half a century of peace?" I was interested, I had time, and the others were closing in on the freak not far from us.

Her eyes flashed again with rage and she whispered harshly "_Revenge"_.

"Then it seems that your hunt is the same as our own", she smiled at this, but it wasn't a nice smile, this was a Carrie at the prom smile, a Fatal Attraction bunny boiler smile, it creeped me out royally.

"_He is mine; his execution will be mine, are we clear?"_ She was absolute in her words, man she was as vexed with the freak as we were, I wondered if maybe he had got to her like he did to Leah.

"Why should I accept?" I wanted to know, and I let Leah's mind into the conversation, if I was going to agree, she had to know the reason. I felt Leah's interest spike.

"_He came before, one of three, two were obvious in their game, he was not, my father believed him, sent him to our cousins to learn to be one of us. We did not think anything when we did not hear from them. After we left here, the family divided and my mate and I went to stay with them. They are my closest friends, my sisters almost. I would live with them fully if it were not for my mate. When we arrived I found all three of my sisters – they had been hideously tortured, violated, nearly destroyed by him. The males had been killed outright. He had spent months torturing the three of them and probably would have continued if our arrival had not disturbed him. They are barely alive, and unable to travel, I come to seek revenge for all three of them"._

For a moment I tried to imagine what she was describing then quickly shook the thought out of my head, I had enough fears already, I did not need anymore.

"Why did you come alone, why not bring your mate, your family?"

There was an undertone to my question, even though I didn't want to acknowledge it.

"_This type of revenge is my speciality; I do not need others to witness this part of me"_.

I went to answer, retort some how but felt Leah's presence appear behind me, she was phased out and slipping on her dress. She walked into the clearing, and the similarities between the two were oddly apparent, as if they were the opposite ends of the same spectrum.

"_Let me share your revenge and he will cut you the deal"_ Leah said simply.

I was a little annoyed that she had spoken out of place, but then I realised that her place was not behind me like the rest of the pack, but somewhere off to one side, so I let it slide, after all it was what I was thinking of saying anyway.

Blondie leech seemed to think it agreeable, and I phased back to bring the rest of them into the loop. There were distrustful feelings rumbling but I placed the order to ensure it would be carried out. They began to round him up, like cowboys bringing home the horses. I stayed near the clearing to ensure Leah's safety. I had cut the deal, but I still didn't completely trust this leech, she was a leech after all.

The freak slammed into the clearing and stopped abruptly. I couldn't believe it when he actually smiled at Leah, the sick freak. His smile quickly faded as he took in blondie.

"_Warrior woman and Miss Cullen, what a delightful combination, I wish I had time to play with you both"_.

The nerve of this thing, even seconds from death and he's still talking crap at them. The pack moved in unison, making the circle complete around the small clearing. Leah shuddered and phased on the spot, not bothering to remove her clothing, clearly not wanting to let this thing have any more sight of her as a woman. She lunged, as did blondie leech, they moved seamlessly, simultaneously almost. The screams and screeches filled the air as they literally began to dismember him. I began to wince, as did my brothers as the viciousness of Leah's thoughts coupled with their brutal actions began to become stifling.

Unlike the others where it had been a quick fight and burn principle, this was being designed to hurt as much as possible. I felt Embry pale as they began a particularly vicious onslaught to his manhood. I must admit to feeling close to loosing my lunch. Women fight differently, that's for damn sure, this isn't even fighting really, this is taunting and mutilating and just generally quite gross. They seemed to stop, but I couldn't understand why. The freaks head and torso were still intact. I commanded the rest to begin the burning, sending Seth to gather some more clothes for Leah.

I phased out as blondie was tying a gag around the freak's mouth. I motioned towards what was left of him. "Should the guys burn this too?" I very wary of her now, in fact of both of them. I certainly would be avoiding pissing Leah off any time soon. Hell, I think Seth will be sleeping with one eye open for quite some time to come. I could see what blondie leech meant; it's not something you really want to see in someone else.

She shook her head. "_This bit is going back for the girls_", a shudder went through the guys as they carried on with the burning, damn crazy women, scary as hell I tell you. She was packing the head and torso into some kind of trailer bag that she had pulled from behind a tree, I could see it twitching away and it reminded me of a particularly sick episode of I think it was the X-files where this women had lost her arms and legs in some accident and the sons kept her body tied to a board under the couch, that had given me nightmares for weeks, and I have a feeling this wasn't going to be far off.

She stood up and I instinctively took a step back. She raised her hands up.

"_Don't worry, I will be leaving now, and there are no plans for us to return as a family."_ She reached into her pocket and took out a small card.

"_The family has separated as I mentioned but one has left the family."_ I could detect the warning in this statement.

"Left as in moved away or left as in red eye left?" I asked.

"_My father hopes he will return, I hope he will not, I am sick of his mistakes and the impact they have on us all"_. She gestured towards the twitching bag.

"_The treaty will continue for the Cullens, but be fearful of the Masen should he return. I can smell your mate on you, and on her, and whilst I wish Bella no ill, he will not be as generous to those around her. See him as the Masen he is, not as the Cullen he was, should you need assistance in dealing with him, this email address will route to those of us that agree with me"._

As she departed with her twitching bag, carefully observing the boundary line, I sat heavily on the ground. I understood her loud and clear and would need to inform the Elders of her words, but what the hell do I say to Bella. Seth wandered up with some clothes for Leah and she disappeared off to phase. When she came back into the clearing the guys looked shifty and uneasy. What do you say to her? What the hell do I say to her? Luckily, she spoke for us.

"_Thank you for your help, I will not discuss today again with any of you and do not want to hear anything of it. Do I make myself clear?"_

Damn tooting, even I was nodding my head along with the rest of the guys.

"_Those of you who were supposed to be studying this afternoon should get straight to Emily's now. Bella will be there. I want 5 pages of math completed for each of you by the time I get there, now move"._

They shot off, and I almost chuckled until I realised I was supposed to be studying too, oh crap! Jared looked around uneasily, shifting from paw to paw. I nodded at him and sent him to meet up with Sam; we would need some more patrols to establish whether we had rounded up all the girls. He exhaled in relief as I let him leave us.

I turned to Leah as we started to walk, human style out of the clearing, as I suddenly noticed the hand she had wrapped in some cloth.

"Oh god Leah, tell me I'm not going to find that in a pickle jar like some Hannibal Lector thing?"

She shook her head and laughed. _"Nah, but that would be cool too, just thought I'd see if Bella wanted to exorcise some demons too, otherwise I'll just burn it later"_.

I nodded, the image of Leah and Bella round a bonfire, dressed as witches and cackling crossed my mind. It's going to take me a long time to get over this one!


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Yep, another chapter already, your love for the female vengance spurred me on. Yippee for breaking 700 reviews, you guys are absolutely outstanding and I wish you all a fabulous dream starring Super Alpha Jake tonight!**

**Disclaimer: As ever, I do not own Twilight**

* * *

By the time we had walked back to Emily's the guys were all stuck into their books. I wasn't quite sure why we had walked instead of phasing and running, but I certainly wasn't going to question Leah on it right now, especially while she was carrying that thing! I was also quite glad that she hadn't seemed to notice that I wasn't studying with the others. I'm kind of hoping I can sweet talk Bella into taking it easy on me with the studying and surely the Alpha thing must cut me a little slack with Leah right? I mean don't get me wrong, I need to get my grades up but it would be nice to get a little leeway. Embry and Quil were sprawled on the floor, Paul was leaning against the end of the couch tucked into the corner, everyone had a book open and a bowl of snacks next to them. As we approached all I could hear was scritch scritch of the pens and chomp chomp of mouths, wow. I was quite impressed.

Bella had clearly been hovering at the window as she barrelled into us both, one arm wrapping around each of us. It was quite odd in a way but Leah kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear about having a shower. I watched her go in, she was so calm, it was almost eerie and she greeted Emily and Sam as if everything had been fine with them for ever. I think Emily was quite shocked also as she busied herself getting towels and fresh clothes for Leah.

Sam nodded, "_Seth's out for me now with Jared, I'll switch at dinner if that's ok?"_ I nodded.

I wrapped both arms around my queen, I felt as if I could stand still forever in this moment. She tilted her head back to me and I kissed her as if my life depended on it. I needed to taste her, to feel her. Although it had only been less than a day since I had last been wrapped in her arms it felt too long, like a lifetime had passed by. I felt like my soul was drinking her in, her closeness restored me, revitalised me.

I finally released her lips, she was panting, blushing with desire, just the way I loved her to be when she looked at me. Her sweet face was doing that thousand questions again and I smiled.

"Quick, the others have a head start on me, I've got to catch up". I knew she wanted to talk, but I hoped we could wait until later, maybe get some quiet time together. She pouted, but I think she understood. I didn't want to have a conversation about the leech family in front of the other guys, especially not Paul. I couldn't trust that he wouldn't start something over it. I grabbed her hand and led her in, collapsing on the couch and grabbing my book from my bag, I guessed that either Seth or Jared had brought them over. Bella settled herself against my side, and I could feel her heartbeat through her skin, it soothed me greatly and I blanked my mind of everything we had just been through to get on with the maths.

It proceeded quietly, every so often either Quil or Embry would ask Bella a question and she would carefully explain, they would scoot over to her, sitting by her feet so that she didn't have to move from my side. I listened to each of the explanations she gave, jotting little notes in my book. It was peaceful, calm, such a contrast to earlier. I started to feel really positive, like this might actually work out really well.

There were footsteps and Leah emerged with damp hair and a fresh dress. Embry shot to his feet with his book in his hand. "_I done 5_!" I smothered a chuckle and remembered that he used to be like that all the time, all eager to please the teachers, really good student, then the phasing came and it was as if we all lost perspective on being kids anymore. It was hard to think of this stuff actually mattering, when you were out there, protecting, fighting and destroying. My mind wandered a little, what job would I actually be doing after school? What would fit in with all this, and dad and needing to stay on the reservation. Sam was doing well with the construction gig, but I know he was missing out on the good money by not taking the jobs that took him away from the area, maybe now he wasn't the Alpha anymore we could work out a way for him to take the occasional job out of state, get some of the big bucks once in a while.

I knew I wouldn't be going anywhere, not even across the boundary line really. Whatever I was going to do would have to be on the res itself, which would be cool now that Bella was going to be teaching at the school. Wait, maybe, I wonder would that even work for me possibly? I mean not classes type teaching, that would be ridiculous, but what about shop or something. They used to do it a while back, but the teacher had retired and they never hired a replacement so it hadn't been on offer, now there's a class I could have aced in my sleep. Perhaps there might be a way to restart that, I mean I'm damn good with an engine, could teach kids how to looks after their own cars so that they wouldn't need to spend big money on repairs and stuff. I could see myself doing something like that. Wonder what kind of grades you need to get to be one of those?

Bella gave me a gentle nudge in the ribs and I realised I hadn't been writing for a while, so got back down to business. Leah sat with Embry at the counter, silently checking his work. After a little while, she nodded with approval. _"You may go"._

Quil then realised the deal and begun writing much faster. Embry turned to us all with a theatrical bow and said "_See you later suckers!"_ He stopped when he caught my eye, suddenly unsure of himself, but I cracked a smile which he returned and he bounced out pleased with himself. Quil didn't take much longer, and passed Leah's critical inspection. Paul sat quietly in the corner. He hadn't asked for help, but he also didn't seem to be making much progress.

Bella seemed to notice this also "_Paul, can I see how you are getting on?"_ I felt Paul's resistance so I overwhelmed him with a command, I felt like everything was a battle with this guy and I didn't want to get into a fight with him. His face was ferocious as he unwillingly released the book to Bella. She looked at the page, then turned back page after page.

"_Paul_" she asked quietly "_have you ever handed this book in to the teachers?" _He refused to speak, his jaw set in a thin line. Bella reached for his bag and as he flinched I held him in place. She opened several more, I recognised English, History and Biology. She flicked through all of these. She turned to me, acknowledging that Paul was not cooperating.

"_Did they give him new books today?"_ I shook my head, the school wasn't quite ready for their repeat student so he hadn't been issued with any books yet, these were still his old ones from his other classes.

"_Paul why is there nothing written in any of these books? Haven't the teachers asked you to hand in work?"_ I leaned forward now and took the maths book from her, opening it up, instead of the work being set out in the specific spaces all I saw was pen marks, as if he had just sat there tracing each letter of each word.

Leah and Bella were looking between each other, clearly understanding something that I didn't. Was the guy continuing to be an ass despite the last two confrontations we had been through? Was this his way of making a joke out of what the girls were trying to do? I could feel the anger growing inside me, what was wrong with this fool?

Bella's hand suddenly touched my stomach and it was if a wave of calm went through me. She looked me dead in the eye and spoke quietly "_Let Paul go home now"._ I hesitated, he hadn't done the work like the other two, he was trying to test them, trying to cheat, but she closed her eyes slowly, and as she opened them I could see the request in them, that look that says 'trust me', so I did.

He reacted angrily as I released the hold, grabbing his bag and pushing through, his face burning red. His teeth were clenched and he appeared to be hissing almost instead of breathing. He slammed the door hard behind him and I heard pictures wobble. Sam poked his head out of the kitchen, "_Everything ok?"_

I turned my attention to Bella and Leah, clearly I didn't have a clue. Leah was nodding her head sagely _"It makes sense, the aggression, the defiance, the across the board failure. No wonder he was mad about being kept back, he was almost home and free, he wouldn't have graduated but at least he would have finished compulsory education"._

Bella was nodding back "_We won't be able to keep him in a group with the others. I think you'll need to talk to your dad, see what the school board can do. If you were to work with these guys like today, I could focus solely on Paul for the sessions. I mean we'd need to do some baseline work, establish how bad it is."_

Ok, the image of the witches round the fire came back, what the hell are they talking about? I looked at Sam and he shrugged his shoulders blankly. Clearly this was a woman's understanding moment, because us guys were one hundred percent out of the loop.

"Excuse us ladies, but for the men folk in the room can you tell us what the hell is going on?"

Both Bella and Leah looked at me strangely as if I had asked them what colour the sky was, before speaking at the same time "_Paul can't read"_.

I looked at Sam, I looked at Bella, I looked back to Sam. Hold on, what? Of course he can read, everybody of our age can read, I mean, I've seen him read haven't I? Wait none of us read unless we're in class, so no I haven't, but he's been in school for years, of course he would have had to learn, or someone would have noticed.

I must have looked like Bella does then, as I couldn't sort out which question needed to be asked first. But I was cut off by Charlie's cruiser pulling up outside. I squeezed Bella's hand and walked out with Sam to greet him, leave them to their hubble bubble, I needed to get back to something manly that I actually understood, where was a tool belt and ESPN when you needed it?

Charlie's face was etched with concern and he spoke immediately "_The school reported damage, a disturbance in the girl's locker room"._

I nodded and then wrapped my arms around him, he stiffened but relaxed as I spoke "It's over".

I released him from the hug, his eyes grew wide, _"You got…he's…it's…where?"_

I shook my head "There's nothing to find, I hope that it can be resolved without that". I tried hard not to think of that hand somewhere not too far away, but shuddered anyway.

He swallowed "_Nothing…?"_ he said cautiously.

Sam spoke up "_Must have been a wild animal attack, you know how some of them eat everything up"_.

Charlie paled, nodding slowly "_Animal attack…gonna take some paperwork that"._

He turned to me now "_Girl's ok?_" I gestured inside. He walked in and both of them jumped on him, I think the poor guy was getting more hugs today than he had in the last few years. He just seemed so damn uncomfortable. I smiled, as did Sam.

They chatted away, telling him all about Leah's first day at school and he just nodded away. His face got serious after a few minutes.

"_I need to pull a late shift, there's lots of paperwork..."_ he looked at Sam and myself, I looked at the ceiling, Sam looked at the floor, then out the window. Yeah, we were smooth alright.

He carried on "_I know I said…but well... I wondered if it might be better if you stayed down at Billy's tonight. Just for tonight mind"_

Bella's face lit up as did mine. I had resigned myself to 5 long days before I could hold her in my arms all night again. Charlie frowned at me, so I turned down the intensity of the smile and he nodded excusing himself.

I gathered up my stuff and headed out to Bella's truck. We would need to pick her up some things if she was staying the night. Sam had gone inside and I saw Leah getting ready to head off too. Bella was looking towards Leah with a concerned expression as she climbed in the truck. I sighed, more hubble bubble ahead.

"Leah" I called out, Bella looked at me in surprise. "Do you want to join us for dinner?" a grin spread across Bella's face and my heart warmed, score one for kind considerate boyfriend. She nodded and changed direction to head over to mine instead. As I climbed in the truck Bella reached over and grabbed my face, kissing me hard.

"_Do you know you are the most gorgeously wonderful not-husband-but mythically-equivalent person ever?"_

I smiled and leaned back in the truck "Sure, sure".


	32. Chapter 32

I drove along feeling, well, feeling an unbelieveable amount of things. There was of course guilt, guilt that Leah had been hurt, well not hurt exactly, but more that she had suffered that terribleness because of me. Then I was extremely curious, no one would particularly saw anything when they got back apart from 'it's over' and 'Leah took care of it'. The guys seemed pretty shook up so maybe she had been a bit scary. There was relief, that this horribleness was all over, that I would never have to see Laurent again or any of his evil vampire girls. I felt concern also, for Paul, how he had gone so long without the necessary support and the battle it was going to be to overcome it. But most importantly I felt complete and uncontrollable desire for this gorgeous man lounging beside me with his knowing little smile playing on his face.

I pulled up and we walked into the house, as soon as Jake closed the door I jumped, causing him to step back aginst the door as he caught me. I wrapped my legs around him, my hands were running through his short hair, stroking his face as I kissed him furiously. He turned around pressing me against the door now and I moaned into his mouth. My hands were running all over his fabulously bare chest, how I loved that he didn't wear much clothing anymore.

He was panting now as I groped his chest, I wasn't being gentle but I'm sure it didn't hurt, I wanted every action to tell him how much I felt for him, how much I desired him. His weight against me was causing me to burn up in the most delicious manner. I could feel him lowering my body slightly, leaning down to kiss me now so that he could press himself against me fully and I gasped.

"_I'm sorry"_ he panted, "_I want you, I need you, Oh God Bella I love so much"._ He was rocking against me and I suddenly felt as if I was wearing too many clothes, as if it was wrong not to be with at one with him.

"Take me upstairs Jake" I whispered and his eyes locked to mine in shock.

"_Are you sure?"_ His voice was strained, as if part of him really didn't want to ask in case I changed my mind, but I loved that he did. I loved him, so completely, so unendingly. I giggled and nodded and I think he ran up the stairs as fast as he possibly could.

He spoke again with the strained tone "_What about being safe…"_.

I opened the little drawer in the bedside cabinet and pulled out a tampon box. Jake looked at me oddly and I giggled again.

""Renee's idea, to prevent Charlie from being shocked", I smiled as I opened the box and shook out the box of condoms that Renee insisted I pack when I left. Jake picked them up, turning the box round and round in his hand. His expression had shifted but I couldn't make it out.

"Is everything ok?" I was beginning to feel a little unsure of myself. I was expecting us to be at the ripping clothes off stage by now.

"_Will these…I mean…do these work, you know, for wolves, with the heat thing?"_ Jake whispered.

I faltered. I had absolutely no idea, I know that rubber melts, but I don't know what temperature these are designed to withstand. My face fell and Jake kissed me gently.

"_As much as I hate it, this is why you are right about taking our time, maybe I can talk to Jared or Sam about it, find out, you know"_

I slumped against the pillows, I was so sure that this had been the 'eventually' we had both been waiting for, but yet again, proof that it wasn't exactly. I frowned. Jake kissed my creased up forehead.

"_I love that you think we are ready though". _I swatted his shoulder, bah humbug to it all.

"Come on, Leah will be waiting for us" I pouted. He stopped for a minute and grimaced, I hope he wasn't regretting inviting her for dinner.

"_Leah wasn't sure if you might need some, you know, vengeance on the freaky leech, she sort of kept a bit in case you wanted, I don't know, to stab it or cut it or burn it maybe"_

My stomach turned over and I started to tremble, shaking my head, "Please, I don't want to see, I'm fine knowing it's gone, don't let her show it to me please". I could feel tears starting to form, the thought of hurting something for my own pleasure, even someone as bad as Laurent just made me feel ill.

Jake grabbed me in his arms "_Oh thank God"_. He seemed visibly relieved but I couldn't stop trembling at the thought. I remembered back to the afternoon in the cafeteria were Emmett had put his thumb on the table and made it crawl by itself. I hadn't slept for days after that.

We got down to Jake's quickly after that as I could hear his stomach rumbling. Leah had already made a start so with both of us cooking it was on the table in no time. Jake dug straight in and Billy was smiling happily.

"_I could get used to this"_ he joked, he was so like Charlie in that respect, full belly equals happy man.

"Well, don't get too set on it just yet, I think you'll have to keep coming up to Charlie's for the time being. I'm not sure I'll even fit in with Jake".

My face suddenly went red, I couldn't believe I'd said that. I mean I know Charlie had surprisingly been ok with it, but I had just blurted out over dinner that I expected to be sharing a bed with his son. What is the matter with me?

Jake and Billy laughed heartily, Leah smirked and I clapped my hand over my mouth.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know where that came from, I didn't..." Billy cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"_No, you are absolutely right. I had been thinking it would make more sense for Jake to take over the girl's room now, it's bigger with more storage so that you could keep some stuff here easier. Why don't you girls take a look after dinner and work out what's needed"._

Jake cut in "_hold on shouldn't I be involved if it's going to be my room?"_

Billy burst out laughing, "_Son, what did Charlie tell you about ESPN"._

A knowing look crossed Jake's face and he smiled and nodded. Wow, so I guess we'll be organising a room change then. It's actually quite exciting. After Leah and Jake had finished off every last piece of the meal there was lots of contented sighing and stomach rubbing. Jake settled on the couch with his maths book. It seemed he was a bit concerned about not finishing the 5 pages yet.

Leah and I headed into the girl's room. I hadn't been in here in years apart from that morning when I was looking for some replacement shorts. The room had a lot of pink, pink rug, pink curtains, pink sheets etc. But otherwise it looked like the girls had taken the bulk of their things when they left. I looked to Leah who was concentrating heavily.

"_What about a marine blue or darker, we've got some dye at home, those curtains could change easily with a deep colour, it would do the rug as well, save doing all the measuring and fitting etc"._

I nodded, Leah really was a whiz with this sort of stuff. She crouched down looking at the beds.

"_The single beds could just be strapped together, it would make it wider than a regular queensize so you'd have a bit more space". _She nudged me with a wink and I blushed again.

"_I could even dye these sheets and stuff too and just run them together on a machine. You would probably only want the single quilt though, just for you, he's never going to need one" _

We began stripping the beds and folding them up, a cloud of dust came off the quilt and made me cough. I wondered how long it had been since either of his sisters had visited home. Guess what Leah had said before was true, once people left the res they really didn't look back. It made me feel sad for my little family in the other room, well at least they had me now, I would take care of them.

Leah began removing the curtains and we folded those up too. I found an empty box and we stacked all the bits for dyeing inside. Leah yawned and stretched out on one of the beds whilst I wandering around removing posters and other things from the walls. Once I had taken down all the old heartthrobs and dodgy bands, the walls were actually a neutral creamy colour that would work well with the deep blue we were planning. I turned around to say this to Leah but she was fast asleep, poor thing, all that drama today.

I went out to the front room and asked Jake if it was ok to leave her sleeping. I mean, it weirdly feels like it's my home, but it's not so I musn't assume. He seemed fine with it so I phoned Sue just to let her know. She said she'd send her things over for school in the morning, apparently the school had called to say that our stuff had been found near the disturbance in the locker room and we were to report to the head's office to collect it in the morning. I was a bit worried about this but Sue said she had told the head that we had run off when we had seen the man from the wanted alert and had come straight home and were fine. I breathed a sigh, it was quite nice being surrounded by people who all knew the secrecy thing, it made it soo much easier. I asked to speak to Harry and relayed the information about Paul. He was very shocked and I found it quite odd that nobody had picked this up before today. He asked to speak to Jake and they made arrangements for Paul to take a few days off school until we could make some progress in this. It didn't make any sense to me, clearly he needed more school not less, but Jake reminded me about the whole wolf temper issues and suddenly it made a whole heap of sense.

Jake and I cosied up in his tiny bed, it really was a good thing we would be moving him over as this was not the most comfortable for either of us, but to be honest I didn't really care. I just wanted to be held tight by him all night. He lay there stroking my hair. I could tell there was something on his mind, and tilted my face to him.

"_Baby, you need to know that I ran into the Cullen who'd been around the last day or so"_.

My breath caught, and I remembered back to the fight we had on Sunday with sadness. I didn't trust my voice so I nodded.

"_It was a blonde female, big attitude"_ I heard his voice catch, like it was hard for him to have this conversation. It was hard for me too, but this was Rosalie, not someone who I had actually been close to, I'd prepared myself for the worst, but if anything this was almost a letdown.

"Did you play nice?" Let's keep this light, I don't want it to spoil this night in his arms. He spluttered slightly, caught off guard by my tone.

"_I was nice, don't think the freak thought the Leah and blondie tag-team was particularly nice though"._ Oh so that was why she was back, hunting Laurent, well that's fair enough. Part of me was desperate to ask more questions, but I was concerned about upsetting him, if Leah had been there I could always talk to her in the morning.

"_He's left them"_. It came out as a breath almost, what did he mean, I could tell he was talking about Edward, but what was he saying, did he mean left the family or did he mean left the family way, the vegetarian lifestyle?

"_I don't know"_ he said out loud "I didn't ask…" "_I know, but I did, I asked her, she wasn't exactly straight forward to talk to, she just warned us and suggested that the treaty be changed, something about not covering a Masen"._

My heart paused for a beat, if Rosalie was calling him a Masen, not a Cullen, she must be disappointed with him. I sighed.

"That was his name before Carlisle changed him, he left them before, but he came back_"_

"_He was a human drinker?"_ I could feel the shaking starting and I knew that I would have to solve this somehow.

"Talk with the Elders, if he comes here and his eyes are red, I will stand by your decision". The shaking stopped and he began to stroke my hair again. I knew that there wouldn't be anymore talking tonight.

I lay there quietly thinking. If Edward had lost his way, I knew he would be reading minds to select only bad people, but Jake and the pack were right in the way they saw it, killing was killing, irrespective of the motive. Who knows how many bad people had gone on and reformed themselves and been able to make amends for their ways, if you destroyed them before they had the chance how many others might be harmed by this.

One thing I was beginning to realise, spending time with the pack, with Leah and with Harry and Billy, was how much everything in life was inter-connected. Even I had caused things to change by my desire to be turned and I had never anticipated the impact that had caused in Seth's life. The Cullen's moving here had destroyed Leah's happiness by making Sam change and then imprint. So who was I to ignore the fact that if Edward was no longer vegetarian, the consequences could be far greater than I could overlook.

I snuggled my face against Jake's warm chest and drifted off to sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Apologies, I got a little distracted by life and all it's complications. Thanks again to the wonderful reviewers, if it wasn't for you all of this story would stay tucked up in my head only.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

I woke up feeling stiff. There was the comforting feeling of Bella resting on my stomach and chest, those where the only fits of me that weren't feeling stiff. I had probably unconsciously frozen myself to prevent my huge weight and size from crushing her while we slept, because normally I would always wake up in the same position – face down, legs and arms stretched out like a starfish, that's what my mom used to call me when I was little. I blinked for a moment, that day would be coming soon, the dark day when that cloud of depression hangs over the house and the girls finally remember to call dad but he's too upset to speak to them, and no matter how much we try, we always end up in a fight even though we can never work out what started it.

I stroked my beautiful queen's hair as it fanned out over my chest, would it be different this year? Would her presence somehow shift the balance? I didn't want it to become 'a thing', like she was supposed to fix it some way, or try, or worry or anything. I just hoped that Bella being Bella, being mine, being part of my family, might in some way change things. She stirred as I played with her hair, her eyes opening with confusion, and a little smile dancing across her mouth. I wanted to stay like this for ever but if I didn't move my muscles soon I would be aching all day. Suddenly a waft of grossness hit me and I tensed completely, my aching muscles cursing me as I did so.

"Leah" I bellowed through the house, "are you mucking about with that hand again". I felt Bella shudder and I kissed her forehead and muttered "I'll sort it".

I wandered through the house and spotted Leah out the back. "_Sorry"_ she shrugged, poking the hand with a stick as it lay on the ground. "_Do you think he can feel it?"_

I nodded, I mean, this thing was still twitching away, so it was more than likely. I nearly flew a foot in the air when it spun over and started scrambling off in the dirt. Leah stood up and rammed the stick right the way through it, pinning it to the ground.

"That's it!" I ordered, "Burn this now, before it gets lost and tries to strangle someone".

Leah huffed at me and made that girly expression that seems to be universally accepted to mean 'whatever'. She built a little pile of wood and lit it. Then she pulled the stick out of the ground and proceeded to ram it right the way through the torn off bit until it jutted out between two fingers, my stomach turned again. She sat down next to the fire and began toasting it like a marshmallow, oh God; this woman is really not to be messed with!

I could hear voices inside and I assumed Bella was up, ok, time to get dad organised, but Leah's whisper stopped me in my tracks.

"What did you say?" I asked, trying hard not to look at the slow burning hand whilst I spoke to her, she whispered again "_Let them talk"._

Why do women always say cryptic things? Ok so now I'm intrigued. I wandered round the outside of the house and realised that they were already in the bathroom, wow I guess dad was getting into the flow of having Bella around. I felt sort of rude listening in, but Leah's comment had peaked some serious interest.

"_Bella, I know that by now, with the imprinting, you and Jake will have begun to think of marriage and family and so on"_. Oh God dad, are you trying to kill me, please don't pass out again baby, please don't pass out.

I breathed out as I heard her embarrassed choking breaths and could just picture the colour in her face now. But I was stunned by how strong her voice sounded when she spoke.

"_We have started to discuss it and will take things in our own times once we find what suits us". _

I smiled, I had my first class with psycho-issue-history-teacher-slash-loony-aunt after school today, yippee for me, but if it brought me a step closer to being able to call Bella my wife, then I would man up and deal with it.

"_Bella, I know that you have accepted everything that has been placed in front of you with surprising ease and tolerance, Jake's responsibilities, the pack, the history, schooling the boys, Leah, even me". _

I heard my dad pause, and felt an urge to intervene, something was wrong; something bad was going to happen.

"_Bella, I going to be honest with you, in a few years you will be in college or teaching at the school, you and Jake will have several strong children to raise, Jake will be leading the pack, hell the whole tribe and I…well…I'm just going to be a burden to you all." _

I felt a cry try to rip through my body and I silenced it by biting my lip so hard I could taste my own blood. I lent my head against the wall, my body shaking with silent tears. My own father felt that he had no place in our lives.

"_I've started looking at some places in Port Angeles, there are homes for old cripples like me, I looked before but with Jake being so young and all, but from your birthday, the house and the land could be signed over to you, as an adult with Charlie to sort of act as the bond until you reach 21. There's no mortgage or anything." _

I slumped to the ground as I tried to picture dad in one of those places, with no one who loves him, no one to talk to. I remembered what it was like when he got that chest infection and had to go into hospital, and when I had visited I could smell him from outside the room, no one had taken him to wash him or help him to the toilet. Surely he remembered? Surely he knew what might happen, why was he saying this stuff? Does he think I don't love him? That I don't have enough love for both of them?

My heart was thumping hard and I felt sick. I waited, holding my breath for Bella's answer. This clearly wasn't my choice; otherwise he would have spoken to me. This was the choice he was giving Bella and it was killing me.

"_Billy, you are my father's best friend, you are my family, you are the father of my beloved, you are my elder, my wiser and my better and I will always view you with respect and dignity"_

I heard her draw in a deep breath.

"_but if I EVER hear you talk such nonsense again, I will call Charlie to come down here and bitch-slap you until you can't see straight"._

I heard a deep rumbling chuckle from my dad as tears of relief rolled down my face "_looks like Leah's rubbing off on you girl, you'll need a bit of that spunk to keep the boys in line, we'll say no more about it then, but I don't want you to ever feel that you don't have a choice in all this"._

I walked back round to the door, past a smiling Leah "_I told you they needed to talk, 'bitch-slap' who'd have thought she'd have picked that up"_.

I walked into the kitchen as Bella was getting out bowls and cereal and grabbed her in my arms, she giggled and fussed but I planted kisses on every single part of skin that I could see. I finished with a long lustful kiss to her lips before setting her down to get her breath back. I was determined not to mention to either of them what I had overheard. But I resolved that I would try to find ways to make dad feel more included in things, so that he felt he was a part of my new family. I wasn't going to just move on with my life like the girls and view him as part of my past. Many familys still had a grandparent live with them, even once there are kids, I mean Quil's pops lives with them and that's never been weird or anything. But I need to make sure that dad doesn't feel like he's out of the loop. Maybe we can have a little family cook-out on the weekend, get Charlie down too or something?

I got dad organised and then myself and chugged down the cereal whilst Bella got dressed. Leah had popped home to get sorted. It all seemed so oddly normal after the tension of the last few days. I thought over the conversation last night. Part of me kept nagging on one particular point, it was as if I stuck on replay, I kept hearing her say 'If his eyes are red', but that left a whole separate conversation, what if they weren't? What would happen then? I didn't want to raise it, I can't trust myself yet with the conversation, even the thought of him gets me so riled up and I hate that she has to see that side of me.

We jumped in the truck and swung by Leah's, to drop me off with Seth and so she and Leah could get going. I pulled her into a hug again and inhaled her beautiful scent.

"_Did you just sniff me?"_ she teased,

"Sure did beautiful, and guess what I'm going to do now?"

She squealed and tried to struggle away but I licked her neck good and proper and stuck my tongue in her ear for good measure.

To groans and sounds of disgust from Seth and Leah I let her go.

"You both studying with Jared tonight?"

Leah nodded but Bella shook her head slowly. We both turned to look at her.

"_I thought I'd go and see Paul"_ she said quietly.

"Oh hell no",

Both Leah and my words were simultaneous. What was it with Bella? We were just breathing easy having eliminated the horny freak that'd been creating evil leech versions of her and now she wants to get in the ring with a wolf with an anger management problem that she'd just exposed as not being able to read, what was with this death wish she had going on?

"_I know you are not going to like it", _she looked between us, _"either of you, but this is a delicate situation and I think the less people involved at this point the better". _

I went to speak as did Leah but Bella cut us both off

"_and of course as my beloved_" she turned to me, how I hate that it makes me all mushy and girly inside when she says that,

"_and as my absolute bestest girl friend"_ she put her hand on Leah's arm,

"_you of course respect my decision don't you?"_

Oh the puppy dog eyes, the ones that look like the tears are forming, they're killing me. I can't refuse her; I don't think the imprint was designed with a woman like Bella in mind, a woman that is drawn to danger like a moth to a flame.

I nod, I can't even bring myself to speak, and I catch Leah shooting daggers at me with her eyes, I guess my acceptance just overrode her objection too. Her mouth set in a firm line and she climbed into the truck and slammed the door hard, still glaring.

"I'll come and meet you afterwards?" she screws her mouth slightly then grins,

"_I'll be fine, trust me". _She says simply.

"It's not you I don't trust"

I'm brutally honest with her, but she reaches out and squeezed my hand

"_You told me you can feel my fear remember, if I'm afraid, you can come and rescue me, be my knight in shining armour" _

Her grin gets wicked, sultry even and I feel all of me waking up as she looks into my eyes with lust

"O_r find me a little red cape and you can be my big bad wolf"_.

She jumps into the truck and smiles and waves. I stand for a moment, images and thoughts keeping me frozen to the spot. Seth shoves my shoulder and I realise I need to get to school.

"Seth man, where can I get a cape??"


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Your fabulous reviews made me smile, I shouldn't have kept you waiting for so long for an update, but I did sorry! If it makes you understand how busy my life is, I got my New Moon dvd yesterday and still haven't got past the aircraft scene!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

* * *

I stood outside the door. All day I had been thinking about this moment, but right now, as I stood here, everything I had planned to say, just drifted clear out of my mind. Leah had grumbled all day long, but I think Jake's acceptance had left her a little bit gagged as she kept opening her mouth to say something, then closing it and frowning. It had reminded me a lot of when we had taken the trip and how she had been dying to tell me about Jake. When I look back on that time it makes me feel like such a moron. I'm surprised she hadn't tried to drown me in the swimming pool with all my nonsense chattering.

It also brings it home once again that when Jake says something, it really is law. She couldn't even hedge around it or get in some kind of reference to how much she didn't want me to be here, where I am right now, which is standing on Paul's front step, looking like a complete idiot as I've not moved for probably about ten minutes.

I went to knock on the door but it swung open, which threw me off guard. I had all these lovely starting comments planned in my head, all "Hello Paul and how are you today", but things like that require the person to actually be at the door. I hesitated for a second, then stepped inside. I wasn't sure what I was expecting really. With Paul's demeanour something between a cave and a porn shop came to mind, possibility even a porn shop in a cave. But this was oddly normal, it was very tidy and in fact very feminine, with little knick knacks and porcelain dolls on stands. It was very not Paul, I couldn't imagine any of the pack sprawled around telling jokes or hanging out here.

The kitchen was pristine, it was surgical almost, everything sparkled, I paused for a minute, ok no fair, how on earth does someone get a kitchen sink to sparkle that brightly? I've tried every product ever invented on Charlie's one and at best all I can get is a dull gleam. I felt like some sort of stalker, like I was prying into someone's private life, but the door had been open, so someone must be here.

I opened the first door I came to it was a gorgeous master bedroom, if you were in to the extremes of pretty pink and lacy frills, I couldn't imagine any guy using this room, it was like a princess room almost, it was how I imagined Rosalie would have decorated a room if she hadn't had to consider Emmett breaking everything. That was it, everything here was delicate, spotless, pristine. I'm really beginning to think I have the wrong house. The bathroom was a mirror image of the kitchen, all gleaming surfaces and carefully folded towels. There was a little table and chair in the bathroom, like a little dressing area, with make-up and beauty products laid out like it was for a movie star.

I closed the door carefully and turned round into the one thing in the house that looked seriously out of place. Paul's eyes were narrow, his face rigid. He was shirtless as usual, his shoulders almost touching each side of the narrow hallway of this doll's house.

"_Finished snooping have you?"_ his tone was mocking. I began to try and justify myself but the words escaped me under his harsh glare. I stepped backwards, trying to create some space between us but my back bumped against the last door in the hall. He moved forward, and I pressed back causing the door to fall open and me to fall through it.

Here was the cave. I whipped my head around taking in the difference between this room and all the others. There was nothing delicate in here. The walls were painted black and the carpet had been stripped from the floor. There was a large window in one wall which looked out straight into the forest, for a brief second it reminded me of Edward's room in that way. There were no curtains, no obstructions. The bed if you could call it that was a large mattress directly on the floor. There were a couple of boxes stacked by one wall, also painted black. This was Paul's room that was for sure.

He reached out a hand and as I took it, he pulled me to my feet. His eyes locked into mine. "_What brings you here…Isabella_?" His voice was quiet, soft, and far more unsettling because of that, and his use of my full name added to the sense of weirdness.

"I thought we could talk, about yesterday" I mumbled, all of the carefully planned phrases escaping me again. I was intrigued by his eyes. There seemed to be something off about them, as if he wasn't really behind them, if that made any sense.

"_Now that would be a shame wouldn't it_" he whispered "_to waste such a precious gift as time on talking"_ he moved towards me. I could tell what he was doing from his body language and I watched as he orientated himself to me.

"_You're a very beautiful woman Isabella, you shouldn't be worrying yourself about others, you should be letting others care for you, please you, pleasure you"_ I could tell that his tone was designed to seduce, but it was his eyes that continued to hold my interest. When Jake spoke to me I could see his emotions, his love, his desire in his eyes, but with Paul, his eyes were almost blank, glazed. I suddenly realised it was like watching someone recite their lines in a school play. This was nothing more than a defence mechanism, a tactic designed to distract and manipulate the situation.

As I watched him continue to recite his lines I felt really sad for him. Had people around him been so easily distracted either by the anger or by this…this prostitution almost. I felt no doubt that he would carry out whatever he was describing, but to do so, to undertake a sexual act with another person just to avoid having to admit his inability to read. It just seemed so degrading, so unbelievably sad.

I registered that his hand was moving towards my body, enough analysing, enough pity, he's about to get himself killed. I drew back away from him and pointed towards his hand.

"Did you know that a wolf will feel what his imprint does?" I quietly questioned. His eyes lost their glazed look and became focussed and clear. The wolf in him was clearly more easy to deal with than the man in this case. He tilted his head in a questioning manner, his hand still stretched towards me but frozen in the air.

"Jake feels my pain and he feels my pleasure" His eyes widened and I continued "You may have been able to get around every teacher you've ever faced, with a combination of making them fear you or distracting them with that" I nodded towards his hand. "But I'm not a regular teacher Paul, lay a hand on me to bring me either pain or pleasure and exactly how long do you think you'll have before he kills you?" I said this in a calm even tone, I wanted him to know I wasn't mocking him with this, or challenging him. I was speaking directly to the wolf, the only part of him that would understand how to interact with me.

"_What are you then? You stand before me speaking legends and histories like they are your first language but two minutes ago you were bedded down with our enemy. You don't care about me, this is just a game to you little girl_" He was angry yet controlled, and for the fist time since I arrived he was speaking honestly. This was the wolf that needed to trust me, not the man who thought he could distract me or seduce me.

"You are right, this man who calls himself Paul who stands in front of me, I truly don't care about him. In a professional capacity as a qualified teacher I would probably feel obligated to concern myself, but would I care about a man who degrades himself out of a fear of acknowledging his problems, no I wouldn't". His breathing was harsher, his anger was flickering, but he could hear my honesty and for some strange reason that appeased him.

"But the wolf that stands before me, he is part of MY Jacob's tribe, he is part of MY Jacob's pack, he is MY Jacob's responsibility and he will live up to his Alpha's expectations whether he wants to or not. So here's your choice, work with me of your own free will or be a marionette puppet and I'll have Jake down here pulling your strings."

He raised his eyebrows, clearly contemplating the no win situation, then shrugged his shoulders, seemingly accepting his fate. "_So what now?"_ I looked around me, clearly I didn't think staying in the bedroom was a good idea, but it seemed like the only place in the house that he actually used. I looked out the window towards the woods. "How about we walk and talk?"

He nodded and we headed outside. "So do you remember when you starting finding it a struggle at school?" He frowned, when he spoke his tone surprised me, I don't think I've ever actually heard him speak except when he's yelling or doing that...well whatever that was earlier.

"_I don't think I ever exactly got it, my mom…she knew I was having trouble…she used to spend hours reading with me, helping me trace round the letters in books"_ I remembered what I had seen in the maths book. "Then what happened?"

His shoulders sagged "_She got sick, really tired all the time, she couldn't read she was too tired, it was cancer"._ I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth.

He shook his head _"No, it's ok, she got better, she's got good genes"_ He flexed his arms and I allowed myself a small smile in response.

"_The treatment took a long time, made her really sick, everything made her sick, even reading"_. I thought back to the kitchen, the bathroom, the cleanliness everywhere. It began to make sense.

"_School left me be, I mean, the kid's got a sick mom, of course he's angry, leave him alone, don't put any pressure on him. My dad, it might sound crazy, I know his generation never phased, but it's like she's his imprint. When she got sick, his whole world revolved around her, he tried everything he could to make her better, make her happy all the time, and when she got better it was like he'd been blessed with a second chance, every waking moment all he's thinking about is her, he treats her like a princess, and they are so happy it's crazy. They wake up at the same time, drive to work together, work side by side, eat together. It's like he can't bear to be away from her for even a single second, in case…just in case". _His voice trailed off.

"So home got too busy", I could tell he didn't want any blame placed on his parents so I veered away from them "but school?" I couldn't believe someone hadn't picked up on this.

"_The angry rep keeps most away, the guys, the older women, but every so often a new one would start, see something, figure something out, try to make me into a project, so I learnt ways of dealing with that too. I couldn't work out why I wasn't kicked out…well until I phased for the first time…then a few things made a bit more sense."_

"Can you read anything?" I asked bluntly. His face coloured and he looked down. "_Some little bits, packets and labels. I can do some names some stuff…"_ He trailed off again.

I grabbed his arm and stared into his face "Have you told anybody that before?" He shook his head, his face overwhelmed with shame.

"No, don't, it's fabulous, in fact it's brilliant, admitting that you need a little help is the first step, you've taken the first step". Using his arm as a stabiliser I scrambled onto a large tree stump. I raised my other arm to the sky.

"My name is Bella and I can't walk 10 metres without tripping over!" I shouted to the trees.

Paul looked at me like I'd gone crazy. I nodded towards him "Go on, try, it's just you, me, the trees, and the Spirits, and they already know anyway".

He smiled and stepped back stretching his arms out to their huge span. "My name is Paul and I can't read".

It would have been perfect, an absolutely wonderful moment, except that he had taken his arm back to stretch it out and at that moment my horrific sense of balance decided to reassert itself and I toppled backwards of the stump, smacking my head on a stone as I fell.

The pain shot through me and Paul leapt over the stump looking at me worriedly before suddenly clutching his head and clamping his eyes shut. He let out a cry of anguish and several choice curses.

"_Well if you'd stop shouting at me I could open my eyes and show you!"_ He screamed out, and for a minute I was confused as to who he was talking to. He loomed in front of me holding the sides of his head. His eyes wide and I realised that very bizarrely that Jake was looking at me through Paul's eyes at that moment and was probably giving him quite an earful about why I was in pain.

"Hi honey, I fell" I joked weakly waving at the eyes. I could smell the blood and began to feel quite woozy. "Don't cut your classes, I'll be fine, just a couple of stitches, meet me after you finish ok?" It felt very strange to be able to talk to him through someone else.

"_We need to get you to a hospital"_ Paul said, scooping me up in his arms. "You did real good you know". He smiled and nodded "_and you weren't lying, you weren't even walking when you fell down_".

Paul jogged along tirelessly, holding me in his arms like a doll until we reached the hospital. We chatted as we went, he talked honestly about his classes, things he was interested in and such. As we neared the hospital I laughed out loud realising how far we had travelled "We could have just gone back and got my truck".

Paul smiled _"Guess I'm just used to running around"_. He got me settled in, I knew most of the staff by sight if not by name now I was in here so often. A new nurse entered the room with the forms. "Hi Bella, I'm Michael, I'll be your nurse this evening, I'm going to take a look at that head wound". Paul began to snigger, _"A male nurse, what's up with that?"_

"Paul" I went to chastise him for his rudeness but the nurse leaned over and stage whispered _"Dude, think about it, all those hot nurses, only one changing room?"_ Paul's eyes grew wide and he sat up straight and gave the nurse a high five. I smacked the back of Paul's head. "_What? He said it, not me"._ I looked over to the nurse with a frown "_and of course the lady knows that I am only joking and of course this is my true vocation in life"_ he gave a little nod of the head.

He was Native American, I didn't know enough history yet to be able to distinguish tribes, but what did strike me was that he was big. Not Paul big, but much bigger than an average guy, maybe Seth's size. He began cleaning up the back of my head and gestured towards the papers he had laid on the bed. "_Can you start filling those in for me?"_ he addressed Paul and I flinched.

Paul took a deep breath and looked at the papers. "_I'm not good with papers"_ he said in a low voice. I exhaled loudly and gripped his hand. He looked up at me and I smiled. Michael, the nurse, paused "_Oh, you getting some help with that?"_ Paul nodded "_She's my new tutor"_. Michael stopped what he was doing and walked round to the other side of the bed. "_Can I just say, I need to shake your hand, it takes a big man to admit to something like that". _They engaged in some male bonding type display, which seemed to involve punching each other hard on the shoulder. For a non-wolf, this guy seemed really strong.

"So Michael, I get hurt a lot and I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" Firstly I was curious, there was something oddly familiar about this guy, and secondly, I'm bleeding here! Michael hurried over and after gelling up started working on my head again. "_I was working here before for a little bit but I got sick so I had to take some time off, then the healer felt I was safe to return, and I've been back a good few months now."_

My next question to him was cut short as I heard shouting echoing down the hall. I could hear Leah, and she was probably still in the parking lot.

"_Paul, what did you do to her, I swear I will kill you!"_ She flew through the doors with an expression that looked like hellfire. Her arms were definitely going for him but she never got a chance to connect. Michael had taken her off guard and forced her back against the wall. I exhaled in shock, moving an angry wolf even in human form was a serious feat. Jake was coming through the doors and his jaw dropped also as he took in the scene. Everyone's eyes were locked on Leah and Michael as they stood panting with shock, staring at each other.

Michael stepped back suddenly, "_I am so sorry, I shouldn't have, I feared for my patients, I should have got a female security, my sincere apologies" _he mumbled, running his hands through his hair as he backed up out of the room, almost bumping into Jake. "_I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Leah"_. He was speaking so quietly, I almost didn't catch the last word, but I did. I'm sure I did.

I turned to Leah, this felt, well this felt like one of those moments, like when Jake had lost control and was attacking Leah. I knew this moment, this was the moment when everything made sense. This was him, this was her imprint. I looked at her, my smile growing huge. Her eyes locked mine, I could read her expression, she knew what I was thinking.

"It was him wasn't it Leah, he's your imprint!" I didn't ask I just declared it, I was so certain of the fact.

She was looking at me with tears in her eyes "_it was him, 'patients', 'patience', it was him, so why didn't I imprint Bella, why?"_


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Huge love to the reviewers who have put me over the 800 mark!! I was worried that I had made things too obvious, but given that most of the reviewers and PM'ers said they were confused, I guess I didn't. Anyway, today you get Leah's POV so a lot of recent stuff should make more sense by the end, oh and to those of you who have made some very good guesses about key plot factors - so very close, but no one got the cookie just yet!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight except the set of books, a Twilight DVD and a New Moon dvd which I still haven't finished as I had to get this chapter down whilst Leah's mood was still in my head, that's how much I love you guys.**

* * *

Jared and I had made really good progress, Bella had been right, all he needed was a bit of focus more than anything else. We had ended up still studying at Bella's, I don't know why when she wasn't with us. I guess part of me had hoped that Paul had fallen off a cliff or something and she'd head straight back. Can a wolf do voodoo? I could get a little plastic version of him and melt it or something. I know he's part of my pack but there's just something about that guy that winds me up on every level. The thought of Bella being alone with him, hah, I'd feel safer taking her back to her mom and that's saying something! I hated that Jake had agreed to this. All day I had been trying everything I could to tell her not to go. Damn Super Alpha! He hadn't even done the old Alpha command business, now all he has to do is think and we roll over, if it was anyone else, I tell you I would have smothered him with a pillow whilst he slept.

Charlie wasn't home yet and the phone started ringing. I guess I've been around Bella so much recently that I didn't think anything about answering their phone. I only heard the words 'Forks Hospital' before I was out of the door and phased. I knew this was Bella, and if she was around Paul that meant he had hurt her. Stupid stupid, I should have trusted my instincts, I should have found a way round Jake's agreement. As I hit the ground I felt Jake phase in. My anger must have been a bit much as he flashed up images of her waving. Hold on, was she waving at him, through Paul's eyes, now that's just odd. But the flash was gone again.

I was still mad, I had seen her lying on the ground in a wood. I mean why was she in the wood, we all know Bella and woods don't go well together, we've all seen inside that night in Sam's head, it still makes me shudder to think of her, my vibrant crazy best friend crumpled and broken by that leech, and then the whole woods thing with that nasty-rapist-wannabee-son-of-a-… I calmed myself. Don't go there Leah . Keep a clear head. Breathe, 'Hush Leah'. I repeated my calming words again. I'm about to go into a hospital full of people, I need to be in control of my anger.

Jake wasn't inside my head, and I wasn't inside his. I liked it, it was so different from being phased with the others where their jumble of crap just kept coming at you - I like this girl's boobs, I'm gonna get that car, Check out my high score on some stupid computer game blah blah blah. With Jake now, all you got was this sense of presence, you knew he was there, but unless you put a specific thought out to him or he drew you in to his mind, it was just peace and quiet. For whatever the reason Jake was keeping me out today and I didn't mind one bit.

I got to the hospital first being that I'd only been at Bella's and phased out dragging on my clothes. I didn't know what had gone down but for whatever reason yet again Paul had screwed up. Whether you like her or not, she's an imprint, she's the Alpha's imprint at least keep her in one piece! I was hollering some randomness when I locked in on their scent.

I banged through the door to the room, fully expecting to give him hell. I could sense Jake was only a short way behind me now, damn he was fast these days and in a second he'd have both of us locked down, but I wanted one blow, one good blap to the face for this moron before I get bound.

It only took a split second, my eyes were on Paul, then all of a sudden I'm hitting a wall. I'm staring this guy I've never seen before right in the eyes. I can feel him, his heart is beating hard, right against my chest, completely in time with mine. He's strong, not exactly wolf strong but I can feel the muscles working as they pin me back against the wall. I know him, I feel him. Those arms, that hold, the feeling of his strength against me. His scent overwhelms me, so familiar, so comforting. I feel my body merging with mine, oh God he's so beautiful. Kiss me, take me now, I want him so much.

I panting now, and he's looking at me too. I see the shock in his eyes, he knows me too, I can see it, but there is confusion, there is disbelief. He's afraid, ashamed, I see all the emotions swim in his eyes. He pulls back and my body aches from the loss of contact. I want to reach out for him, pull him back to me, hold him again.

He's mumbling apologies, then I catch it 'patients', I feel like time stops, my heart stops, my breathing stops. I'm locked right back in the kitchen, the same kitchen where I took the call that brought me here. 'Patience now' I had played those words so many times since that morning. When I had been in the gym with Bella, with that…that thing…touching me I had played it over and over again in my head. 'Hush Leah, you have the strength you need, patience now'. It's him, Oh God it's him. It can't be, rationally there is no way this is happening, but I'm a damn female wolf, I've given up caring about what can and can't be. I know it, it's him.

I can't move. Bella's face is turned to me but then I see it all in her eyes, if it was him, I would have felt that…thing…I would have felt the imprint. I had seen it enough times when I taunted myself with Sam's memories, I had seen it in Jared's mind and then again before Jake could control his. The way the world shifts and realigns itself to that one person, that single life that holds your heart for ever. I hadn't felt that and I felt like I was dying inside.

I heard my voice crack as I said "Why didn't I imprint?" and Bella's face crumpled. Her sadness made me feel even worse. I hadn't told her about the voice, and though I wanted to explain it now I hurt too much inside to speak. Paul stood up and wandered off muttering about woman stuff. I climbed onto the bed and Bella wrapped her arms around me. Jake continued to stand by the door. He coughed slightly and I turned to look at him. "_umm, I think I might know the answer"._

I looked at Bella, I recognised that shiftiness, that was Seth when he accidentally broke my CD player and tried to claim that it was a good thing because now I'd have no reason not to get an MP3. That was Sam when he first told me about Emily, that 'I have something big to say but you might not like it' look. Bella was clearly suspicious too, her eyes had narrowed and her mouth was screwed up.

"_What have you done?"_ She asked simply.

Jake shifted between his feet and rubbed his head. In that moment, he looked like the kid brother of my old friend, not the Alpha I had come to recognise. It was odd to see the opposing side of him reappear. "_Well you know my classes today?"_ Bella nodded "_The one's where you're supposed to be learning about our wedding ceremony?"_

Jake chewed his lip and shuffled some more, _"Well I kind of looked up about Leah's imprint instead today"._

He did what? This is the guy's chance to get hitched like he wants and he's rummaging around in my issues, what gives? Bella's face read pure bewilderment. Both of us said in tandem "Why?"

"_Because of that, that exactly, the together thing and doing things in synch thing and the love thing and that". _He was mumbling now and looking towards the door.

I was outraged, "You thought I'd already imprinted on your wife!"

I mean beloved, girl whatever, it's a done deal with them already. I get that I'm a freak as far as the pack's concerned, a female wolf and all that, but now I'm a lesbian as well, well that just tops off my week doesn't it and it's only Tuesday!

Bella was just as horrified "_What are you talking about Jake? Did you think I was cheating on you, with Leah?"_

"_Argh"_ Jake clutched at his head, twisting around "_Where's Charlie? I need ESPN, I didn't…I didn't think you were cheating…I just got confused…that's all…you women do things a bit differently…I mean I don't sleep in the same bed as Embry do I? I don't say I love him?_

"So you DO think I am a lesbian who was working up to getting my Alpha's imprint to cheat on him!" I challenged.

Jake began banging his head against the doorframe, groaning some nonsense about listening to Charlie. I truly do not understand men. Bella called out softly to him, "_Jake, why don't you tell us what you know and we'll discuss how you came to know it later on in private…away from doors"._

He slumped into the chair. _"Ok, for whatever reason"_ he glared at me_, "I asked Ms Stillwell about imprinting, specifically about female imprinting. It wasn't in the main stuff that she let's the Elders see, but she has the extra stack of books hidden away, I think it was because I was asking about Leah that she let me see them, she was being a bit of a …well she wasn't being nice beforehand."_

That made sense to me, in all honesty I probably look like a kindred spirit in some ways to those lost wives, like her mother, left behind, abandoned by the imprinting.

"_So these books all talk about the woman accepting the imprint, the person who is imprinted on is chosen because they are the 'bearer of life,' something to do with the whole biology thing, you know physically one being the giver and one being the receiver sort of thing. Look it was very embarrassing and very uncomfortable to have that discussion with her but I thought you would want to know ok. I had to talk about sex and wombs!" _

Oh bless, he's gone bright red, I guess apart from that one time, they are still pretty inexperienced. Hold on, the receiver, does that mean…

"So are you telling me that as a woman I can't be the imprinter, wolf or not?"

"_That's what she said"_ He shrugged his shoulders.

So I'm free, all this time I've been worrying that I'm never going to find 'the One' and been too scared to settle down or even date anyone in case I end up doing the nasty on them and running off with some other guy I've only just set my eyes on. But in fact, I'm free. I can date anybody I choose, anybody at all, even hot, sexy male nurses, with muscles tough enough to withstand my kind of fun. It didn't matter that he wasn't my imprint, I knew him, on a spiritual freaky assed psychic connection level I knew him. You know what, give me a bad Jamaican accent and call me Miss Cleo, that was enough for me, the Spirits were giving me a wink and who was I to ignore that. My life had stood still for nearly two years. Now I was back in school, I have a career path, and damn it was time for me to have a man!

I kissed Bella full on the mouth, take that lesbian imprinting! I spun and kissed Jake full on the mouth too, take that male dominated pack mind and stupid male only rules and legends! The gorgeous hunk of a nurse walked back into the room to finish working on Bella. It was my turn to play pin the she-wolf on the nurse as I kissed him good and hard too. His body moulded against mine, oh God it felt good. I stopped, my life, my time, my rules. I threw him an evil wink, he was flushed and panting, yep – this girl's still got it!

"Bella has my number if you're interested!" I flounced out, giving it my best bootylicious walk and I let the door flip closed behind me.

Leah Clearwater is back in action baby!


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I know, you hear nothing from me for ages, then I'm just throwing them at you. Just a head's up, for those who get confused by my random plot lines, if you flick back a long way over the chapters you should find the answers, I sow my seeds very early on. Little warning, it's short but a teeny bit saucy, skip down to the last few lines if you just want to get on with the story.**

**Also, Lucyferina put another story in my head - a Bella/Paul idea, but the one that's appeared in my head is probably a little nasty for the ratings system on this site as I know there are issues at the moment, any good ideas as to where to post if I do get it written down would be appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: It's not mine but I don't care I've having too much fun!**

* * *

[BPOV]

I was in shock, there was no other words for it. The love of my life, my sun, my existence had been harbouring some fear that I was also in love with my best friend, or that she was in love with me or some such randomness.

Also, my best friend is free from further mythical restrictions and is free to go around randomly groping up male nurses, who admittedly seem perfect for her but oh my God did she really just kiss him like that and what was with that walk? The poor guy looked like he had lost his mind and found heaven in the same moment.

In addition, and as much as I loved her to pieces, she kissed my man! I knew it was a 'I'm free from imprinting' kiss but the rage I felt inside of me when her lips touched his was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I was torn between understanding that it was no different from when she kissed me, to wanting to tear her head off. I felt so possessive, so territorial, so downright angry! My eyes locked with Jake's, I could see the possession, the desire in his that mirrored mine exactly, clearly her kisses had ignited something in everyone in the room.

Jake mumbled something to Michael about me being 'done' and Michael nodded, his face still showing how overwhelmed he was. Jake scribbled something on a piece of paper, tucked it in Michael's pocket and then hoisted me up off the bed and onto his chest. My legs wrapped around him and my arms were tight around his neck. His eyes never left mine, how we made it out of the hospital and how many people were staring at us I didn't know and I didn't care.

We were running, then we weren't. We were crashing down, Jake's knees hitting the ground as his lips found mind, the only lips that should find mine. He rolled back on the ground, pulling me on top of him. The passion and desire flowed from him. I was his, and he was mine, no one was to touch these lips, this man, my man but me. I ground my lips hard against his, I wanted there to be no memory in any fibre of any other lips but mine. I gripped his head so tightly that the shudder that ran through him trembled my whole body.

His voice was strangled, muffled by my mouth as I wouldn't release him. "_Bella_" he gasped, "_I'm loosing control_". He shuddered again, I knew he wasn't going to change, I felt no fear, this was his wolf, the Alpha wolf inside of him, feeling as desperate as I was to claim him, to mark him, to show the world he belonged to me only. I grabbed hold of his short hair and pulled his head back, a moan escaping from his mouth as his lips were torn away from mine. I kissed down his neck, not polite kisses, but hot open-mouthed aching wet kisses. I rocked against him, my back arching from the sensation, breathless moans panting from my lips.

His shudder trembled my body again, "_Bella_" he hissed, his hands gripping me hard as I moved against him, except this time his grip was adding weight to my motions, pressing me harder and harder against him as I moved. Oh, he felt so good, my perfect beautiful God. My tongue travelled down his neck to the soft point where the flesh met the muscles of his shoulders, my teeth grazed his skin and he bucked against me, almost bringing me to the edge of bliss. His moan filled my ear and in a rush of movement I gripped his head hard before sinking my teeth into the spot. He cried out in surprise, his arms gripped me tightly as I moved my body harshly. He was mine, mine alone. I was shaking now, the pleasure taking me over and I gasped as his shaking matched mine "_I love you_" he whispered as he collapsed back onto the ground taking me with him.

I rested my head on his chest, listening to his jagged breathing. We lay there for a while, not speaking, his fingers slowly playing with my hair. I couldn't believe I had done that. All the boldness was gone now and I felt very naughty. I know we are still clothed but biting, I hope he didn't think I was harbouring some kind of vampire role-play fetish or anything. I didn't know why I had done it and I hoped he wasn't offended or disgusted by me.

"_How did you know_?" his voice was quiet, contemplative. "Know what?" I asked.

"_How to control my wolf...I mean I was pretty much gone, a few more seconds I would have lost control and taken it all the way, despite everything that we'd said...how did you know about the submission_?"

He put one arm behind his head, propping himself up so he could look in my eyes. I didn't quite understand what he meant and I think he realised. "_Leah didn't tell you then?"_

I shook my head, still feeling shy. "_When a wolf is out of control, a stronger wolf, especially the Alpha can force him to submit to their will. The Alpha will bite down on the wolf's neck"._

I gasped, force, control, these sounded like such terrible words, had I made him feel bad, hurt him in some way?

He saw or felt my concern and reached out to stroke my face. "_No, don't think that, I am happy that you have that power over me. I get so afraid that I might hurt you, or do something that you don't want to do and I won't realise until it's too late. Knowing that it just comes to you like instinct, it makes me feel safe. It's like I get more and more powerful everyday, but so does your ability to control my power, to guide me, you're my equal, my mate and that makes me so happy"._

I lay there stunned, his equal, it was a concept that threw me sideways. How could I be his equal? I'm just a simple human, running around with all these God-like mythical creatures, yet part of me accepted what he was saying. I didn't know how I knew how to save Leah, how to calm him when he was angry, how to distract him when he was upset, how to share the control with him when he felt he was loosing his. I don't know how I knew these things, but I did. I knew them because I loved him, because I was destined for him, because I was his and he was mine.

We stood up and he pulled his shorts away from him uncomfortably. "_I'm gonna phase and you ride ok? I can't walk in these anymore_". I blushed and watched in amazement as he shifted into his wolf form effortlessly. I picked up the offending shorts and climbed on. Jake was truly magnificent in his animal form, much much bigger than he was previously. He had to crouch right down on his stomach for me to climb onto him. I marvelled at everything as he ran back to the res.

When we were at his house, and I calmly threw a clean pair of shorts out the door as I walked in through the back door. Jake caught them in his mouth and ran off. I tucked the others into the laundry basket and wandered through to the front room.

"Hey Billy" He smiled but seemed very tired. "Billy, are you ok?" He nodded.

"_Just get worn out easily these days. Had to travel quite way over to check on some potentials for the council_". He exhaled loudly.

"Potentials, do you mean new wolves? But I thought now the Cullens have left...?" More of them, more wolves for Jake to manage, how young would these be?

"_Not exactly, we monitor the genetic descendants of the last pack, carefully document their names, where to find them, any marriages, children. They probably won't phase in this lifetime but we wouldn't want a repeat of Sam's situation with no one around them if they did_". He breathed another sigh.

Wow, yet more consequences and implications. It never ceased to amaze me how many jobs and responsibilities there were for the Elders. "So today's potentials?"

"_Just a set of newborn twins, but they will be emigrating for the father's new job so we needed get some information quickly"._ He shifted in his chair and grimaced. "Billy do you want me to run you a bath, have a nice soak, maybe Jake can do some stretches when he gets back?".

Billy smiled and nodded "_You're a good girl Bella"_. I blushed deeply, trying not to think about my less than good behaviour not too long ago. As I settled him into the bath we chatted about his trip.

"Billy", I said thoughtfully after a while, "Are there any other wolves around?". Billy smiled and shook his head.

"_We've got all of them, why?"_ I shrugged, "I met someone today, he just struck me as a sort of wolf type I guess"

Billy turned to me with a serious expression "_Struck you how Bella? no disrespect but you shouldn't be able to tell". _

I tried to explain the size, the strength, moving Leah, joking with Paul, the feeling I got when Leah and him were in the same room. Billy's face fell. He began trying to get himself out of the bath, I struggled somewhat with the move Jake had showed me and I didn't do it very gracefully but if was as if Billy didn't care. I got him into the robe and he furiously wheeled himself out into the kitchen and grabbed the phone and began speaking quickly in another language, I felt so ignorant not knowing what was occurring, what I had done wrong?

Jake walked through the door and his smile disappeared as he took in Billy's expression. "_What happened_?" He asked. I shrugged, "I just asked if there were any other wolves around". Billy slammed down the phone in frustration.

"_Dad?_" Jake was confused as I was, what was going on?

Billy looked furious, He dialled another number then gruffly shouted down the phone _"Despite what you promised us, the Elders at his res confirmed it, THEY felt it safe for him to return and didn't think it necessary to inform US" _He paused, "_ Michael Uley is back"._


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Might not get another chapter out til after the weekend, but then again, getting so many reviews coming through makes me write even faster, so who knows. I love all of the regulars and welcome to new readers and reviewers!**

**Disclaimer: I make no claims to Twilight, but this crazy plot is my own, and I'm thinking of copyrighting Super Alpha!**

* * *

"What?" Jake and I said simultaneously.

Billy's face was severe as he turned to us. "_We are going to have some company in a bit, can I get some clothes on before this all starts"._

Jake and I followed him through to his room and worked in silence to get him organised. My mind was buzzing. Uley…as in Sam Uley? Who was Michael then? What relation to Sam was he? If he was a relation then there was no doubt about it, my instincts were right, he was a wolf, or had been a wolf…oh God, I know that when they change they accelerate their aging, hit their late twenties or so and then stop, was that it, was this guy frozen in time and some hundred year old version? No, tell me he couldn't be…could he be Sam's dad or something gross, had Leah just made out with her ex-boyfriend's dad or something?

As Billy was finishing getting dressed I heard the front door open and went out to the hall. Harry had arrived with an elderly female and another man. I assumed both of them were Elders. Jake and Billy came out and we all moved to the front room. Jake nodded to Harry and greeted the female as Ms Stillwell, I realised this must be the teacher Jake was working with on the history.

As I watched Jake move into the room I realised the difference in him now, when he was around the Elders he stood tall, he looked attentive, professional and quite formidable. The Elders greeted him in a very respectful and traditional manner, as if he was a lot older. I suppose for most purposes other than school he was treated as if he was in his late twenties now. It made me feel very young and naïve in comparison. I sat and listened quietly as he interacted with them.

Jake's voice was stern and powerful when he spoke. "_Who is Michael and why is he known to us?"_

Harry began slowly, almost apologetically. "_As you were informed, the families of the last pack were split by the imprinting and three of the first wives left". _Jake nodded, I opened my mouth and then closed it again, wow, ok that was a big bit of history someone hadn't told me about yet.

"_Of the children who were removed from the reservation, most of the daughters eventually found themselves back within the tribe often through marriage, although unaware of their history due to their ages when they were taken away and the restriction that was placed on their knowledge of their fathers. They live side by side with their own kin in ignorance. The mothers are our kin but we are forbidden by the agreement to reveal this to them, even though their sons are now aware of their genetic links to the pack"._

Jake was nodding his head solemnly. Harry continued _"The sons did not return, their children and grandchildren are the 'potentials' we monitor. There were two Uley boys who were taken away, Embry's father and Michael's father"._

I sat there trying to work it out and piped up "So Michael is Sam's…cousin?" Family trees had never been my strength and this was extremely complicated.

Ms Stillwell turned to me, "_That is correct beloved of Alpha, Michael and Sam have the same grandfather". _Her face was stern as she spoke, ok I guess that trying to convince her to call me Bella would be a fruitless exercise.

She continued "_Michael and his family lived out of state, when his grandmother, the first wife of Uley, became ill, Michael moved to her reservation to help care for her because of his training. We thought nothing of it as their reservation is quite a way from here, so there was no real chance of exposure. However, he took a few shifts at Forks hospital to help with the bills."_

I raised my hand to my mouth "Carlisle!" Ms Stillwell raised her eyebrows and frowned "_He was exposed to that Doctor without our knowledge"_ she placed the emphasis on the 'Doctor' as if she was unhappy that I had used his name. "_His Elders summoned us when he began the accelerated growth however they disagreed with some people's proposal to move him here and allow his transformation to take place."_

Billy sighed deeply at this point, "_Yes Hannah, and the alternative has worked out just splendidly hasn't it!"_ The hostility in his tone surprised me, but Ms Stillwell merely tutted and resumed speaking.

"_The Healer was confident that the transformation could be arrested if he was not exposed again and if he remained unaware of what he was, Michael was prohibited from returning to the hospital and was informed that he had contracted an infectious condition from his grandmother and must remain in isolation with her. They were moved to a remote reservation which had been vacated some years back. Michael underwent a complex set of treatments designed to calm and control him"._

Billy cut in again, his face angry and his jaw set "_Load of hocus pocus, they drugged him until he was out of it, that's not treatment, it's not a condition that can be cured!"_

Jake stood up abruptly and Billy fell silent. He strode across the room and perched on the arm of couch next to me, he took my hand in his. As he did so I realised how much he was shaking. He was furious. I stood up quickly and came around him to stand behind him. I wrapped my arm around him, laying my hand over his heart and pressed myself against his back tucking my head onto his shoulder. With my hand in his I began to rub my thumb gently across the back of his hand.

I felt his breathing slow to match mine and I concentrated on taking slow deep breaths, in and out, 'calm blue ocean' as Renee used to say. When he spoke his voice was clipped and controlled.

"_Was Sam aware of this?"_ around the room heads shook, all eyes were cast down to the floor, the Elders, Billy and Harry included clearly realising how angry they had made their Alpha. I felt a twitch in Jake's body as he uttered "_Sam, come here, now"_.

Nobody spoke, I breathed in and out, feeling Jake match me every time. Sam rushed through the door minutes later. He took in the scene before him, his eyes widening as they met mine. "_What happened?"_ Sam couldn't take his eyes off us. I realised it was the same expression that he had given me when I ordered to leave me with Jake after the attack on Leah. He seemed genuinely uncomfortable with me being in close proximity to Jake when he was upset, didn't he understand that it calmed him?

Jake turned to Sam, his grip on my hand tightening. _"We have another brother, one whose transformation was interfered with and who is unaware of who he is. I have never supported a transformation, you have always been the guide"._

Ms Stillwell stood up and began shouting "_It doesn't have to be this way, leave him alone, let him have a normal life, stop damning him to your existence"._

I gasped and gripped Jake with all my might. I felt the ripple run through him and moved round in front of him as Sam came to my side but I wouldn't let him interfere. I gripped Jake's face and locked his eyes "Stay with me baby" I whispered. Jake's eyes focussed on mine, he nodded and took a few deep breaths.

He looked now at the Elders, including this woman who was rapidly wearing my patience. "_Would you prefer we left him alone, and then one night at the hospital he gets hit by a drunk, or has to treat a child who has been abused, or a woman that's been beaten by her husband? Would you prefer that we wait until the anger comes over him that no drug can sedate him from and he phases then and there in the hospital? Would you prefer that? This man is no longer alone in the middle of nowhere, he is right here on your doorstep, treating my wife and dating your daughter"._

Oh no! I clapped my hand over my mouth as shocked sounds went through the room. Talk about jumping the gun, we are not married yet and Leah's only just met the guy! We really need to have a talk about discussing future concepts using the present tense.

The other man, who hadn't spoken up til now or even introduced himself stood up. _"This is no longer a decision for the Elders, nor should anything relating to the potentials be from this day on. The pack will decide and so shall it be. It is time for us to leave Hannah". _He gripped the annoying woman's arm and steered her towards the door.

Sam was the one who was shaking now "_What are you talking about?"_

I stepped between them, "Look, who he might possibly end up dating is not the most important issue at the moment".

Sam was looking fearsome now. "_Jake, you have to bind her, keep her away from him, it's not safe"._

Jake moved past me, standing directly in front of Sam. "_Sam, we bind the new wolves to protect their loved ones from their anger. Leah will be in no more danger from Michael than she is from me or any of the rest of the pack. There will be no bind"._

Sam began to shake, at the same moment Paul walked through the door, swinging the keys to my truck. I had completely forgotten that I had left it at his house. It took him just a split second to evaluate what was happening and he dropped the keys and wrapped his arms around Sam from the back.

Paul was looking around the room, trying to understand what the situation was. Jake spoke gravely "_Sam, tell me honestly, will you guide our brother as he deserves?" _

Sam twisted in Paul's arms as Jake stared at him, Jake's hand was holding Sam's face, locking his eyes. I couldn't help myself "Sam, he's your cousin, you have to help Michael".

Paul's jaw dropped "_Nurse dude Michael? From the hospital? Leah's man-candy?"_ Sam's whole body seemed to collapse. He dropped to the floor. Jake knelt before him.

"_Brother, I do not understand your fight, but I will not allow you any further involvement until this has been dealt with. Go home to your imprint and think on your actions tonight"_. Jake was quiet, but his tone on the word imprint was disapproving and Sam's head hung low.

Sam dragged himself out the door. Everyone in the room was quiet. Jake turned to Paul. _"You have spent time with Michael will you come with me in the morning to see him?" _I tapped his arm, "What about school?" I said raising my eyebrows.

He kissed me on the forehead "_We will both be at your house for tutoring later, won't we Paul?"_ Paul nodded and shot me a smile. I smiled back. "Just think Paul, if I hadn't fallen off the tree stump today we wouldn't have found a new wolf".

Jake's eyes narrowed "_Paul, remind me to talk to you in the morning about letting her fall off tree stumps"._ Paul looked concerned, then Jake punched him in the shoulder, "_Dude, that was just too easy!" _Paul looked surprised, then relieved.

Jake turned back to Billy and Harry, his shoulders tensed "_No more secrets, are we agreed?"_ They both nodded but as Jake turned away, I caught a flash of guilt in Billy's eyes. I stared at him, my eyes widening. Surely not…what else was he keeping from Jake? He caught my stare and looked to the floor.

"Jake, I'm going to get Billy settled in before getting home ok?" Jake nodded and turned to Billy but didn't look at him, "I'm going to head up to Bella's with her for a bit. I need a bit of space to deal with all of this". Billy nodded and let me wheel him to his room.

I hissed quietly in his ear "Please God Billy, tell me you are not keeping anything else from him?"

Billy's forehead crumpled "_Bella please, not tonight…I'll tell him, when it's time"_

"Are you going to hurt him like you did today?" I whispered, I loved Billy, but my allegiance sat firmly with Jake. I was shocked and disappointed with the things I had heard tonight.

Billy shook his head, "_It's nothing bad, I promise, I'm not even sure I'm right, it's just a hunch, it's just not the right time to say anything, he'll figure it out for himself if it's the case"_.

He squeezed my hand as I helped him into bed. "_You know Bella, you looked just like my mother in there, holding him like that, you will do him proud"._

I gently kissed the top of his head as I pulled the covers up. I know that Jake was disappointed that he had kept this from him, and to a degree so was I, but I was sure that by the morning, everything would look better.

Jake had driven in silence. He seemed so confused, so overwhelmed. We walked without speaking, into the house holding hands. Charlie was watching TV, he clicked it off when he saw Jake's face.

"_What's up son_?" Charlie asked. Jake sat down on the couch and rubbed his hand through his hair. I went into the kitchen and started pulling together some sandwiches.

"_Just had a bit of a disagreement with Dad and the Elders about some Council stuff. I know what you said, but would it be ok for me to be here for a bit, I'd be gone by morning if you wanted_?"

I nearly sliced through my hand as I cut the bread. How was it that Jake could talk so easily about things with Charlie? I would have probably collapsed with embarassment if I had asked.

I thought that was it until Jake spoke again. I nearly passed out cold as I heard what he said, "_to be honest with you I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep this up_". I could hardly get the breath out, keep what up?

"_Dad's given her the girl's room, so she can move some stuff in_". I put my hand over my mouth. "_No, sorry Charlie, that's a lie, he's given US the girl's room_". I breathed out again trying to be really quiet.

I heard Charlie twist in his seat. "_Don't push me on this Jake. She's still my baby girl, beloved or not". _Charlie got out of the chair and walked out to the door. I heard him open and close it then come back to Jake.

_"You might as well keep hold of this key though, probably shouldn't keep it over the door anyway, that Jared ate all my chips today_."

I walked in and put a plate in front of each of them, my eyes wide as Jake slid the key into the pocket of his shorts. I sat down and grabbed a sandwich from Jake's plate as Charlie clicked the TV back on. I curled up against his side and he wrapped his arm around me. Part of me wanted to say something to these men who seemed quite happy calling me 'wife' and openly discussing my sleeping arrangements, but I had absolutely no idea where to begin. I decided just to watch TV instead, let's leave it for tomorrow.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Just a little chapter that I hadn't planned on doing, but when I sat down to write the morning, this popped up instead. Huge thanks for the reviews, I am absolutely stunned to be over 900 now, have pinched myself repeatedly! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

Bella had drifted off next to me on the couch. I stroked her hair, enjoying how the sound of her heart soothed the angry wolf inside of me. Tonight had been stressful for me, to know that my own father had allowed a wolf to be kept from us left me feeling unsettled. I loved my dad without hesitation, and had never questioned that love once over the years, even when things were very very tough. But tonight had put a thorn in my side. Why wouldn't he have fought for this Michael to be brought amongst us?

"_What you thinking there son?"_ Charlie's voice broke into my internal conflict. I shrugged gently, careful not to wake Bella.

"I guess I'm just feeling kind of let down by dad". Charlie lent forward, "_How so?"_

I tried to think of a way to explain it to his without saying too much. "Something happened to someone and dad could have fought for it to be fixed properly, but instead he sat back and now it's a mess that I'll need to fix". I wondered if that even made any sense.

Charlie looked thoughtful "_Maybe he figured you were the best man for the job?"_ I couldn't help but dismiss this, "more like he couldn't be bothered". I knew that was spiteful, but I couldn't help myself.

"_Well, that's as maybe, but I tell you son, I never saw that man back away from a fight he believed in, not once". _I looked at Charlie now, and realised why I was here, it wasn't just Bella, although she was my world. I knew that Charlie would remind me of how much I loved my dad and how proud I always was of him. I settled back into the chair and looked eagerly at Charlie for the story that would soothe me.

"_Did your dad ever tell you he fought with Ephraim?"_ My eyes went wide, the heir fight the Alpha, surely not? Charlie continued "_thought that might catch your attention, it did every one else at the time. Now you need to understand, no one, not a soul argued with Ephraim, his word was law. Billy too, never spoke back to him, always did exactly as he asked, just how you used to be. Now Billy had been courting Sarah same as I'd been after Renee. Anyway, things moved quickly th those days and Billy was sure she was the one. So one night we were eating dinner and Billy turns to Ephraim and asks if he can present Sarah as his beloved at the next fire night"._

I listened transfixed, I had wondered whether Charlie had known what it had meant when Bella had been presented, but his use of the word beloved earlier and now this proved that he did understand what she meant to me now.

"_Ephraim went crazy, first time I'd ever seen him loose his temper, man I was shaking in a corner I tell you. But there was Billy, just eighteen years old, looking him straight in the eye. To this day I never did get it, I wasn't even sure if Ephraim had met Sarah but he seemed to have taken an immediate dislike to the idea. Said he wouldn't have Billy damned to the same fate as him. Ephraim forbid Billy to present her, forbid him to marry her, everything"._

I immediately realised what Ephraim had been trying to prevent. He hadn't known whether dad would phase in his lifetime, and with the phasing could come the imprinting, and dad would have had to give up mom, just as Ephraim had to give up his first wife. I tried to imagine what it would have felt like if either dad or Charlie had tried to stand in the way of me being with Bella. I know I would have fought both of them, no matter how much I loved them.

"_But your dad fought him every step of the way. When Ephraim refused to allow the Unity Ceremony, your dad and I arranged a small ceremony at the church up here in Forks. It was just me __and Renee, Harry and then Sarah's family. Everyone else was too frightened to go against Ephraim. But your dad never backed down. Not when Ephraim wouldn't present the girl's as heirs. Billy lived as an outcast to your people for years"._

I was stunned, my dad, disowned by his own father. I tried to remember back to when mom was still around, they always seemed so happy, so content. How could they have lived with that hanging over them. I found my voice eventually "What happened?".

Charlie sat back in the chair and smiled, he tipped his beer can towards me "_You_" he grinned. My forehead creased up in confusion, I always thought Ephraim had passed before I was born. I certainly don't remember him at all. "_After your grandmother passed on, Ephraim got sick, I mean scary sick. I've never seen anyone go from being so huge and powerful to just a shell of a human being". _I felt the darkness claw at my chest and pulled Bella tighter to me, I've seen it, I've been it. The death of his imprint would have been like the death of his own heart.

"_Sarah was far along with you, but she went to nurse him, mostly it was the other women in the tribe but this time she insisted. As soon as she walked in the room, Ephraim was awake and more alert than he'd been in days. He told her to go home and come back in the morning and to bring Billy with her. That night she went into labour, took no time for you to be born. So in the morning she went back with Billy and you all wrapped up. Billy always said afterwards that he'd never been as frightened in his life as walking into that room that morning. But Ephraim took you in his arms and straight out told Billy that he had been right all along. He passed on not a day or so afterwards but in that time he made them have a big fire and he carried out the Unity Ceremony and presented you as the heir before he took his last breath."_

I let my own breath out, I didn't know how long I been holding it. "_So don't ever let me hear you say that your father couldn't be bothered to fight. He fought harder than you could possibly imagine, you're the one that starts bellyaching over schoolnights". _Charlie raised his eyebrows at me, as if daring me to challenge him. I nodded and smiled.

I wondered what would have happened if dad had fought, and brought Michael over to the res. He was around Sam's age maybe, if he was already trained as a nurse. Sam...of course...it started to make sense. Sam would have guided his transition, he would have phased and if the pull between him and Leah was anything to go by, he could very well have imprinted on her. Imagine, two wolves, the second imprinting on the Alpha's ex, no one else yet phased to intervene, they could have destroyed each other before the rest of us had joined the pack, well before we joined at pack at war with itself.

There is no way the Spirits would have allowed that to happen, so for whatever reason, dad and the others allowed Michael to be kept from us, until the pack was in a position to receive him fairly, without bias. I breathed heavily again and felt Bella stir. She looked at me with sleepy eyes. I kissed her on the forehead. "I might head home actually, say goodnight to dad".

Part of me would always want to stay by her side, but I didn't want the day to end without dad knowing that we were cool. I felt bad now for walking out on him like that, especially after my promise to myself to make sure he felt included in our lives. She smiled happily and nodded. As she kissed me goodnight she whispered "_Talking to Sam might be a good idea too". _

I motioned for her to go upstairs and waited as she used the bathroom. When she came back in I tucked her into bed and knelt by the side "What hubble bubble have you worked out this time?"

She tried to swat my arm but missed sleepily. I caught her hand and kissed her fingers. "_I realised __when I was sleeping that he never got his clean break..."_ She trailed off. Ok, seriously not making any sense, only my queen would use a phrase like 'I realised when I was sleeping'!

She twisted onto her side and leant on her other arm. "_When Edward left me in the woods he said things about a clean break"_ I tried hard to listen to her meaning as the thought of her in the woods with that leech was making my wolf angry again.

"_Leah never left you see, although Sam had to give her up, she never went away. He couldn't kiss her or touch her or tell her that he loved her, but he didn't have to let her go. Then when she phased he could even be inside her mind, hear how much she still loved him, even though he couldn't return it"._

I was stunned by what she was saying, and horrified. "But he's imprinted, how can he still have these feelings for her?"

She smiled and stroked my face "_Tell me honestly, has there ever been anyone inside your heart?"_ I looked at my sleepy, beautiful queen and shook my head, I had never thought of anyone but her, even before I had become a wolf.

"_So your imprinting is absolute, that's all, it didn't have to push anyone out of the way, maybe it wasn't such a clean process for Sam but no one was there at the time to see the difference?"_

I kissed her again and made my way downstairs. Charlie gave me a nod as I headed out. The part of my heart that had felt heavy with disappointment at my father had been healed, but there was now a gaping wound where my trust in my second-in-command had once been.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Huge amounts of love to the reviewers, it's better than choc chip ice-cream! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

I walked up to the back door. I could hear dad twisting and turning. Now I was glad that I had come back, even if it meant missing out on a night with Bella. I slipped into the house and went to the kitchen. I didn't exactly know what to say 'Sorry for being an ass?' 'Sorry for thinking that you couldn't be bothered?' I filled a glass with water and went into dad's room. His eyes opened in surprise.

"_Is Bella ok?"_ I nodded and smiled, "All tucked up and fast asleep".

I faltered, I didn't know what to say. 'I'm an ass, I'm a moron, I'm the most ungrateful son in the universe'. Instead I lifted the glass of water in my hand "I was worried Bella might have forgotten your water". I sat it down on the bedside table, next to the glass that Bella had already prepared. I'm such a guy, Bella would have said about a million things by now that would make everyone feel all lovely and safe. I'm mumbling on about water!

Billy nodded _"Good of you to check, might be a thirsty night tonight"._ He reached out and patted my hand. I perched my huge bulk down carefully on the edge of the bed. "Dad…I…"

He squeezed my hand "I know son…I know". He smiled at me, I smiled at him. Now this was guy talk. I stood up and stretched out "Gonna check on Sam". He nodded and I could hear his breathing settle to a deep easy rhythm before I'd even left the house.

Ok, that was hard thing number one completed, now to face hard thing number two. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get away with so few words dealing with Sam.

I knocked on the door politely, Em answered. Her normal bright smile was missing and I could immediately see the sadness in her eyes. I didn't want to know what went on her this evening. She ushered me in and apologised for the mess. I scanned around, I didn't see a single thing out of place apart from a box of tissues on the sofa.

"_Sam went for a quick patrol, he should be back in a minute"_. Em gave a tearful smile.

Liar, I thought to myself, my eyes narrowing. Quil and Embry are on the late shift tonight. Sam's shift was just finishing when I pulled him down to dad's. I could see that Em knew it too, why on earth would we think we can lie to these women? They've all got that hubble bubble thing going on.

I needed a distraction, something that wouldn't make her cry, something to talk about that wasn't related to Sam's possible issues. Oh wow, I've got it!

"Em, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem I need to keep a little bit…you know private from the pack?" I had her attention immediately, she stopped twisting her hands and looking towards the door.

"_Anything Jacob, I mean I not sure what help I can be… but I'm happy to try"._I paused for a minute, ok I've already done the whole women's reproduction talk with Ms Stillwell, how much worse can it get really?

"Em, I don't know what to do about Bella, and you know…and the whole being a wolf thing…and you know…protection?" I just let it hang there, hoping desperately that it had made enough sense that I wouldn't need to say anything else.

She looked at me with her brow furrowed and then let out a sudden "_Oh!'_ and smiled widely. "_Oh yes, it's good that you asked, both myself and Kim have been through some pretty messy mistakes"._

My eyebrows raised. Oh no, please don't let this be one of those 'too much information' moments! She saw my alarm and nodded "_Don't worry, I'll tell Bella the long version and just give you the summary". _I exhaled in relief.

She began counting off on her fingers in a matter-of–fact fashion "_No condoms, they melt, same with femidoms"_ Ok my eyebrows were back up again, same with what? Em waved me off with indifference.

"_You won't like what the pill does to her scent, it will make you feel ill so that's out, you won't be able to control your wolf well enough to practice withdrawal method so don't even try"_. I put my hand up to my face, even as an extremely warm person I could tell my face was burning with shame now, how do they talk like this?

"_Have you tracked her scent yet? It's proved the most straight-forward for us and Jared's got the hang of it now too."_ I looked at her with a blank expression. Huh?

"_You keep track of her scent, from her time of the month round to the next and you will be able to pick out the two days when you are particularly drawn to her, when your wolf is drawn to her, those are the equivalent of the 'in heat' principle, the days when she is fertile, then all you do is avoid those days, and everything is fine". _

I leaned back in the chair, so all I have to do is not be with her on the two days when my wolf is going to want her the most, well doesn't that just sum up life in general! I gave Em a big hug "Thank you, that was not a conversation I really wanted to have with the guys! Do you think we could keep this between ourselves, Bella's not a big fan of people knowing her business". Em smiled widely and gave a wink with her good eye.

As she did so I heard Sam's approach, I headed out through the back door to cut him off. I was not having this conversation in front of Em. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. For the first time since I had phased I felt a huge distance between us.

"_Jacob"_ he nodded tensely. I stood tall "I'm not here to get in your business Sam, in fact I don't actually want to know what's going on because I don't think I'm going to like what I hear". This was true, if he was intentionally damaging his own imprinting, as his Alpha I cannot stand for that, yet I wanted him to have a chance to fix it himself.

"Sam, for two years you have taken care of everything and everybody, often by yourself. I don't know what those early days have done to you and I can't undo that. But right now I want you to stop for a bit and get a handle on this situation". I gestured towards the house. His head hung low again and I could feel the shame rolling off him.

"I want you to take her away for at least a week. Her folks have that cabin up by the lakes, just you and her, just spend time together, no wolves, no pack, no distractions, don't get out of bed, feed her strawberries, read her poetry, that kind of thing." Sam's eyes were wide with confusion.

"I don't want to fight with you Sam, you're my brother. So you're a little lost, a bit confused. Get your clean break and when you get back we'll talk". He nodded and then wrapped his arms around me. I was floored, he had never looked to me for anything, he had always been the one holding me up, keeping me together when I felt like I was falling apart. I gave him some hard man slaps to the back and then we walked into the house.

Em had gone back to the hands twisting pose she had been in when I arrived. She was tense. I could she that she was preparing herself for bad news. Sam put his arm round her and kissed her forehead "_Do you think your dad will let us have the cabin for a while? Jake's cutting me some slack for time served"_. Em's mouth dropped and she looked at me in disbelief.

"_A holiday?" _I grinned at her. "_When?" _My grin got even bigger "How does now sound?" She looked at Sam for confirmation and squealed loudly when he nodded. Em danced off to make her phone call.

Sam looked at me sadly "_Make sure everything goes smoothly"._ I frowned at him "It's not your concern anymore Sam" I said seriously, I pointed toward the kitchen where I could hear Em squealing down the phone to someone, "You take care of what is your concern".

I headed out, still feeling heavy with doubt, but not wanting to risk an argument brewing. I tried to imagine what would have happened if I had imprinted on somebody other than Bella. I knew no matter what the spirits had planned for me, that would not have gone smoothly. If fact, knowing myself I would probably have been in a much worse situation than Sam by now.

I slumped onto my bed, not bothering to even change. When I woke up I was face down, spread out as far as I could me. I glanced up at the photo of my mom and me that hung on the wall. Charlie's story had left a deep impression on me. I realised now why the anniversary of her passing hit dad so hard every year regardless of how much time passed. I had always felt guilty inside, like maybe I hadn't loved her enough in the first place, which was why the pain of loosing her had begun to fade over time, but now I realised that I had simply been blessed with her and the memories of her. I had never fought and sacrificed and lost so much just to be with her in the first place, it was no wonder that dad felt that wound as if it was freshly cut every year.

I pulled myself out of bed and got dad up and organised. We didn't say anything apart from talking about the weather and the cook out with Charlie on the weekend. It was as if yesterday had never happened. It was only when I walked out into the kitchen and discovered Paul munching his way through a whole box of cereal that I was confronted with the reality that it had. I asked dad to get me excused from school and he waved us off cheerily. He had given us Michael's details and after tying up our shorts we phased down for the run.

As was feeling calm and settled as I phased but the second my paws hit the ground I skidded to a halt. Paul's thoughts had caught my attention and I was hit by a play-by-play of yesterday afternoon. He realised almost straight away and tried to push the thoughts from his mind but I found myself reaching in, as if my mind was clawing it's way inside his head opening doors until I found what I was looking for. I could sense his distress yet couldn't stop until I had seen it right the way through.

I watched as he advanced on my precious queen, my stomach turning as he made his vile suggestions but I watched my queen's eyes as she stood in his memory indifferent to his attempts. I felt as her words cut him down inside yet filled me with pride as she cut through this wolf as the Alpha's mate. I pulled out of his mind and locked myself back inside my own. The wolf in me hummed with quiet anger yet my Alpha was satisfied with my queen's response and felt no rage towards my foolish brother.

I turned to him now, his stomach pressed to the floor and ordered him up. "I don't need to tell you that it will never happen again do I?" Paul mumbled a humble apology, quite different to the constant antagonism I was used to from him. I could feel that Bella had already started to weave her calming magic over another one of my pack and smiled to myself. It would be nice not to want to kill Paul all the time.

We phased out near the edge of reservation, not knowing the layout and not wanting to chance remaining in wolf form any closer in. As we came up to the house that dad had marked out for me I felt my nose twitch in response to a familiar scent. I dismissed it but a moment later wished I had paid more attention. Paul knocked politely on the door and Michael answered wrapped in a towel, his attention clearly wasn't focused as he opened the door with a laugh.

"_See I told you that you weren't going to be able to stay away for long…" _

His laughter trailed off as he realised it was not who he was expecting at the door. The scent on him was overwhelming and I stepped back to catch my breath as I realised who had just left.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Several people said they didn't get the alert for the last chapter so if you haven't seen Sam and Emily click back, read, leave a review [wink wink] and then carry on! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight!**

**

* * *

  
**

Paul's face twisted into a wide grin "_Player's got game!"_ and he punched Michael in the shoulder good naturedly. Michael wasn't ready for the strike and stumbled backward a few paces. His eyes didn't leave mine. I could see the concern and uncertainty building in his face.

"Paul!" I snapped. Paul looked at me in confusion, his forehead creasing. I returned my gaze back to Michael who seemed frozen to the spot.

Paul seemed to register my discomfort and his shoulders suddenly tensed. "_Hey, one minute you're hot for my sister, next you've got some skank rolling out of a booty call?"_ his hostility was suddenly at prime level. I was surprised by his use of the word sister, his feelings towards Leah were usually much less polite, but he'd missed the point somewhat. He stepped into the house imposingly, using his bulk to tower over Michael who was now looking very unsettled.

"Paul!" this time my tone was irritable. I called out with my mind then and saw him flinch as I said into his head "What do you smell?"

Paul stopped and took in a deep breath, his eyes widened and he looked at me "_Oh"_ he said in an exaggerated tone. "_Well at least she can't bitch at me anymore for the whole hit-and-run thing!"_

I caught the irritation flash across Michael's face. He stepped towards me, ignoring Paul now. "_I need you to know I'm not…that…kind of guy"._ His tone was sincere but I raised my eyebrows regardless.

"So what are you then?" I let the Alpha power wash through me. I knew that whatever had gone on here, was something that Leah would have agreed to, this wasn't a naïve kid who could be led astray or forced against her will. She was a big woman now and could be an angry wolf if needed. If this guy gave her some kind of closure against what Sam had done, against what becoming a wolf had gone, and against what that nasty freak of a leech had tried to do, then so be it. Whatever I thought about it morally was irrelevant.

But I needed to know what this guy thought he was? What getting him angry might do? If they truly had prevented his phasing then he could get as angry as he liked and it wouldn't pose any risks but if all they had done was interrupt or delay it, he would be a walking liability. I hadn't been sure about how I was going to deal with this, but it was as if the situation with Leah had almost given me an excuse to act like a jerk and try to provoke him.

I moved closer to him "What are you then?" I repeated. Inside my head I issued an Alpha command 'Silence'. His eyes twitched and his mouth went to open but then shut again. I set my face angrily and shoved him lightly "Tell me what you are then", I added 'Silence' as a command. Michael's face contorted and he backed away, I saw as a shudder visibly ran across his torso and down his arms. He grabbed one forearm with his hand and pulled his arms against his chest.

'Calm' I commanded internally, 'speak'. I had my answer, they hadn't prevented anything, this guy was a fender-bender away from phasing for the first time.

Michael slumped against the wall, his breath coming out in pants. "_I need my meds"._ I looked at him quizzically "_I get tremors sometimes"_. I watched calmly as he fished out some pills from a jacket pocket. He popped several without water. I took them from his hand and read the label 'Haloperidol'. There was no doctor's sticker and the prescription field was blank, which made me wonder where his Healer had sourced this from, or maybe they had convinced him to 'acquire' them from work. Whatever this stuff was it had to be heavy duty if it had managed to keep him from phasing. I read the word a few more times, trying to commit it to memory so that I could ask Bella about it later. 'Hello Pearly Doll' I tried to imagine a picture to stick it hard and fast in my brain. I had a feeling this would be important later.

Michael sunk into a chair rubbing his head "_I know this looks bad", _he sighed. Paul raised himself up to his full height "_Oh no, this just looks peachy! Did you tell her you were an addict before you banged her?" _Paul's words were harsh and jarring but at least they covered up the weirdness factor of us turning up on his doorstep.

Michael shook his head and leaned back in the chair. His expression was a mess of shame, fear and confusion. I felt really sorry for the guy. I wondered if Ms Stillwell realised what his 'normal life' actually looked like.

"_I didn't plan for this"_, there was a slight slur to his words, the little magic pills must work fast. "_After you left, I needed to talk to her, I had to talk to her. I called from the payphone at work, the number you gave me"_. I nodded and gestured for him to continue.

"_I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee sometime, I was so surprised when she said she'd meet me at the diner. I raced down there and she pulled up on this bike, she said that you'd built it for Bella"._ I nodded again, I was quite relieved that Bella wasn't riding the bike anymore, it was cool that she'd loaned it to Leah for getting to school and stuff.

"_But then the diner was shut, I didn't want her to go so I said I knew somewhere that served coffee all night long. I don't know what came over me, I'm not a pushy kind of guy. I like to take my time, get to know someone, I just couldn't not be with her, if that makes any sense"._

He paused, he looked drained, you could see the veins in his neck thumping as if his body was trying to reject the meds that were now in his system. "_I should have told her I'm not well, but I just didn't…I didn't want to scare her off"._

Paul let out a snort of laughter. I frowned at him. Michael continued, his face red with shame "_I know the meds look bad, but I'm not dangerous or anything"_. I saw Paul's mouth open to retort and I shut it for him quickly with an order. His jaw clenched as it was locked in place and his eyes narrowed. I wondered how he kept it quiet at the hospital, they didn't look like the kind of pills you could be popping openly in that sort of environment. It was clear that Michael had misinterpreted my attempts to commit the medication details to my brain as some kind of understanding, which made me wonder even more what they were usually prescribed for.

"_They are clinically proven to be effective in Chorea, that's what I have". _Paul looked confused_ "__You mean like those epidemics they teach in history?"_

I turned to him "Dumbass, that's Cholera, even I know that!"

Paul looked outraged "_I'm telling Bella you called me a dumbass. I have a reading impairment, you have to be nice to me about it, Bella said so!"_

Michael and I both burst out laughing at him and suddenly all the tension left the room. I realised why it made sense having Paul around, his continual 'Foot-in-mouth' disorder took the edge off the interaction. There was a shuffling sound from another room and Michael cussed under his breath. "_We woke her up, she'd normally sleep a lot longer"_.

A very frail elderly woman shuffled into the room in her nightdress, using a wooden stick for support. She looked around and a sense of recognition crossed her face as she looked at Paul. It got a whole lot worse when she looked at me. She grabbed hold of the doorframe with her bony little hand and waved her stick fiercely at me.

"_You, you, you're not welcome here, it's forbidden for you to cross the line". _Michael hauled himself up from the chair. "_Sorry, she gets a bit confused. Gran come on let's get you dressed"_.

He moved towards her, but her eyes were angry now and she jabbed her stick into my arm. Michael looked horrified "_Gran, stop that_". It all made perfect sense. She knew exactly who and what I was. Tell the guy he's got some crazy condition and that his gran's lost her marbles, perfect combination for him to stay completely unawares.

"_Get out of my house Ephraim Black and take your wolf man with you. You are forbidden by the agreement to enter this house". _Her voice was stern and she was completely lucid. But Michael looked embarrassed "_Gran, I told you there are no such thing as wolf men, let's get you back to bed"_.

The woman went to speak again but was interrupted by loud banging at the door. "_Ama, Michael, are you ok?"_ a shout came through. "_There were reports of two strange men in the area"_. Ok, this just got interesting. Michael was wearing the confusion expression again but then the old lady began to shout "_Help! Help! There are wolf men here!" _

Damn, this lady was certainly complicating things. The banging got louder and Michael stepped to open the door. There were two men outside, I estimated about dad's age and by dress most likely Council members, so it looked like our arrival hadn't gone unnoticed. I wondered whether they had someone watching the place discretely. This plot just gets thicker by the second.

Both of them flinched as myself and Paul turned to face them. The old lady carried on poking me with her stick. "Is there a problem here gentlemen?" I enquired, my tone controlled. "_You...you can't be here, there was an agreement" _the leaner of the two stuttered out.

I lowered my voice, I was getting really tired of these agreements. "Your agreement is overturned, the Council no longer controls these matters". I looked the larger man in the eye. "You have neglected to inform this man of his Quileute heritage. He has tribal responsibilities that are not within your jurisdiction."

Michael looked to me in confusion. The two Council members looked irate. "_Who are you to tell what our jurisdiction is, you are a trespasser on our land"_.

"Who am I?" I felt the rage begin to build inside me. "_You've done it now!"_ Paul exclaimed in a gleeful voice.

"You dare to ask me who I am?" My voice boomed through the house and I could hear the rattles of the glass panes in the windows. "I am Alpha Black and you have stolen from me!"

I watched the scene unfold in front of me. The two men took several paces back from the door. The old lady stopped poking me with the stick and stepped back inside the bedroom door. Michael's eyes rolled back into his head and Paul caught him as he fell. Well that at least saved me asking if he wanted to come with us. I picked up the jacket that he had taken the meds from before and felt in the pocket for his keys. I pulled them out and motioned to Paul to make a move. He lifted Michael up into his arms and carried him past the two gaping men outside.

I turned to the old lady "Is there someone else who can look after you for a bit or would you like to come with us until we get this sorted out?"

I tried to sound polite despite the amount of times she had just poked me. Her face screwed up and she spat on my foot before slamming the bedroom door. Nice manners old lady.

I turned back to the two men "Well I guess she's your problem then" I smiled at them. I picked up the bottle of meds and tossed it to one of them. "Maybe you can just drug her up too?" and climbed into the car.

I gunned the engine and kicked up a cloud of dust as we peeled out and headed for home with an unconscious male nurse who was just wearing a small towel sprawled across the back seat. I really hope we don't get pulled over on the way back. I would not like to explain this to Charlie.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: I am absolutely stunned to be over the 1,000 reviews point and would just like to say and Emmett sized thank you to all those who have taken the time to review this story. It really means the world to me. A big thank you to Little Furry Cannibals for getting me over a moment of writer's block. I've been a bit stuck with this chapter and the next as I know exactly what will happen in the ones after that, but just needed to figure out how to get there.**

**Also, a big shout to Nikitajuice who kindly offered to put together some art work for the story, very exciting!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**

* * *

  
**

Michael's breathing was really slow. As I drove along I started to reflect on what had just happened. I turned to Paul "Dude, I think I might have really scared him".

Paul's response didn't reassure me "D'Ya think? You freak the hell out of me and I'm damn near immortal. This guy doesn't have a clue that he can live forever. He probably thought he was never going to see another sunrise after you showed up. Did you forget your the All-Powerful-Bow-Before-Me-Super-Alpha?". He said with a little too much sarcasm for my liking.

I frowned and look in the rear view mirror. Michael was out for the count. If he was used to these meds there was no way he would be dropping to the floor every time he took them. Then there was that slurring thing, there is no way this was normal. Mind you, what kind of reference did I have for what was normal for this guy? I mean none of the pack even get sick, and even before we phased I can't remember the last time I took anything, not even an aspirin.

I played it over in my mind again. Michael's face as the shaking rocked his upper body, but it was the look in his eyes. That was fear, the type of fear I hadn't seen in any of my pack before. He was afraid of me, afraid of both of us. I watched in my mind as he shook the pills into his hand. I hadn't noticed at the time, but now with hindsight, my recall was twenty-twenty, he had shaken one pill into his hand but then had looked up at me, just for a split second, before adding several more to his hand and downing them.

This hadn't been his regular dose, that's why he was slurring, telling us his business and that's why he was out cold now. His fear of us, coupled with the mind games I'd added in, he'd taken enough to numb whatever he thought we were about to rain down on him. I slammed on the brakes and punched the steering wheel.

"Dammit" I shouted. Paul looked at me confused, "Who do we know who can do the meds stuff?" Paul raised his eyebrows "Apart from the dude in the backseat?" I spun my head towards him and he raised his hands in submission. "Sorry, serious thought time, ok!" He thought for a minute. I knew going to the hospital would be out of the question, one he's a click away from being a wolf, not to mention if these meds are 'borrowed' from the hospital, this could be the end of his job. "What about Leah's folks?" Paul piped up. "I know her dad's stuff is tribal but her mom must have had some training, you know?".

Leah's mom, that would do. She was some kind of children's health visitor, paediatric something, but she must have done some kind of formal training. We weren't far from Bella's. I felt in my pocket. I still had the key.

Paul asked quickly "Jake, what's going on?"

I rubbed my head "I think Michael thought he was in for a beat down from us, he popped extra meds so he wouldn't feel it. I need to make sure he hasn't od'ed".

I pulled up outside the house. "Get on the phone, I'm going to leave a message". Paul headed to the kitchen to use the phone, humming as he went "Bella's gonna kill you, Bella's gonna kill you".

How the hell am I going to explain this to her! It had not been my intention for the guy to freak out. I just wanted to push a few buttons, check on his anger reflexes. She had to know I had no inclination the guy might top himself over this, didn't she?

I grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled 'Change of plan, come to mine, bring Leah'. I added 'Love you more than life' just to remind her before signing it with a 'J'. I attached it to the front door and headed back to the car. Paul came out a moment later "Harry's going to track Sue down and meet us at yours".

I leant over the seat and tilted Michael's head, it dropped listlessly to the other side. I sighed. Leah was not going to be happy but I least I could lock her down with an order. Bella on the the other hand, I shuddered remembering the last time I made her mad. We climbed back in and spun off down the road.

Harry was waiting anxiously with dad outside the house. I pulled up and tossed Paul the keys "Get this tucked away in my garage, just in case we get any visitors". I didn't want to make it too easy for any one to come looking for Michael until we got this under control.

I lifted Michael out of the car gently, his head dropped back like he was dead or something, if it wasn't for his heartbeat I really would think I'd killed the guy. I carried him into the house. "Sue's set up your old room" dad said. Hold on, my 'old' room, I wasn't aware I'd moved yet?

I walked in carrying Michael carefully and did a double take. Sue had set up the room like a little triage room. It reminded me of those old re-runs of M.A.S.H. There was old sheeting on the floor, a little stand with a bowl of water and a wash cloth, along with some bits of basic medical equipment. I laid Michael down on the bed. Sue bustled past in an efficient manner.

"All I'm working on is that you think he might have taken an overdose, but I'm going to need a lot more to work out what is going on here". Sue tone was clipped but I could sense that there was a fury underneath them. "Sue, are you ok?" I asked. She blinked rapidly at me. "Jacob, I strongly suggest that you just tell me what you know".

Ok then, guess I won't be extending any further pleasantries. I sat down on the floor and leant back against the wall whilst Sue began looking him over. I took a deep breath "He thinks he has..." I struggled to remember, not cholera, "chorea?" I said uncertainly. She nodded, her face getting even more tense. "He takes meds to control it, or at least that's why he thinks he does". Her lips thinned into a tiny little line "what meds Jacob?" "Happy pearly doll" I said proudly. She looked at me in confusion then her expression changed with shock.

"HARRY!" I flinched, I finally understood where Leah got that voice from. Harry edged into the room, his face awash with concern "Yes my dear". I took that moment to excuse myself, not even bothering to get up off the floor I shuffled out past Harry, careful not to catch Sue's attention. I headed outside to where dad was sitting with Paul. Each of us wincing as we heard Harry being chewed out for allowing this 'treatment'. You didn't even need super wolf hearing to register how unimpressed Sue was.

I looked at dad for clarification, "There was talk of holding Seth's off for a while, what with him being so young, but I don't think anyone ever told her the specifics, guess she's just realised what might of happened" dad admitted. I breathed out heavily, trying to imagine happy little Seth pill-popping and freaking out. I shook my head, trying to mess around with ancient powers using modern day medicine just seemed really sick. "Dad, do I have the power to veto this sort of stuff from ever happening again?" Dad touched my arm and smiled, "You sure do son, you sure do".

Harry appeared out of the house. He looked like he had gone rounds with Tyson, his shirt was soaking wet. "She wants some more information" he said and then added in a whisper "and another bowl of water". I nodded and headed back in. I knocked quietly on the door. Sue opened it, smoothing her hair down. She moved back to Michael's side, lifting his eyelids and flickering a little flashlight. "So he was taking Haldol, do you remember the dosage?" I shook my head "I think he takes one, but he took about five this morning". Sue turned to me and I could see the tears rimming in her eyes "was it because you told him what he was?".

"No, no, I haven't even had a chance, he thought...I think he thought Paul and I were going to beat him up, I don't think he was trying to top himself, I think he just wanted to numb the pain". Sue's hand went to her mouth "Why?..." I cut her off I knew exactly what she was going to ask and Leah was going to kill me. "I....er...I'm not sure..." She frowned, and her foot tapped the ground "Now listen here Jacob, you may be this tribe's leader, but somewhere out there this poor boy has a mother who would be out of her mind if she could see him now. What if this was Seth, what then Jacob, why on earth would this poor boy think you were going to hurt him?" Ok, no fair on the guilt trip stuff. I looked out of the window, Leah would pitch a royal fit. Sue put her hand on my arm "Wouldn't your mom want you to help this boy?". My shoulders slumped, that was cold. I will never underestimate what Leah is capable of given what I've seen of Sue today. I scuffed the floor with my foot "Leah wasn't on patrol last night" I said with a slight sulk. I watched as Sue did that woman hubble bubble thing, it's like watching someone do math in their head, there's this look of distant concentration. She finally nodded. "Does she know?" I shrugged. I wasn't sure if Bella would have told her today, I couldn't for the life of me predict what would happen when these women were around each other.

"How does it look?" I gestured to Michael. "His temperature is higher than average, but not up to yours fully, but it's helping to burn it off. He should sleep if off as long as he doesn't vomit and choke. She had positioned him neatly on his side, his face slightly off the bed and the sheeting on the floor made sense now. It was a gross thought, but it made sense. "I'll stay for a bit whilst you boys eat, then you can take over. There are a few Elders I need to have a word with this afternoon" she said sternly. I glanced at the clock, it was almost midday now. Paul and I made food in silence.

I took a look in what was now 'my room' I guess. There was a box of blue things that I guessed Harry had brought over with them. I nosed through some of the boxes that were stacked to the side, I guess this was what Bella had been sorting out. Some of it was Rachel's. I noticed a set of old school stuff tucked in with the clothes. Grabbing one of the books out and flicking through it I headed back to the kitchen.

Paul and I took over from Sue, sitting down on the floor next to the bed. I rummaged in my school bag and pulled out some homework. I tossed the book I had found in Rachel's stuff to Paul. He looked puzzled "What's this?". "It's the Baby-Sitters Club, if I'm going to do something productive, so are you".

We settled in to working, every so often Paul would ask what something was, I'd break it down and he'd nod and continue. Around two o'clock Michael began thrashing around, we held on to his shoulders to stop him hurting himself, after a couple of minutes he settled though, and his breathing shifted to something that sounded a lot more like sleep than half-dead coma sort of thing. My stomach was just telling me that it must be time for a snack when another rumble came from outside. I'd recognise that truck even in my sleep. I headed quickly outside.

The bike was in the back of the truck and Bella and Leah were talking intently inside the cab. As I stepped towards them I could hear Bella's heart pounding. I opened her door and looked her deep in the eyes. She shook her head discretely. My eyebrows raised, she hadn't said a word to Leah? Bella turned back to Leah and took her hand.

"Leah, sweetheart, I'm sorry if I seemed a bit distant today but there were some things I needed to tell you and I didn't think school was the best place for you to hear them". Her voice sounded so pained. I came round to Leah's side of the truck and opened her door. She looked at me in alarm. "What's happened? Is Seth ok?" she panicked. "He's fine, this isn't about him". I took her arm and lead her way from the truck and most importantly from Bella. If she reacted badly and phased I didn't want my queen anywhere near. It suddenly dawned on me what a risk Bella could have faced if she had told Leah even half of the story.

"Leah" Bella went to move towards her but I gestured for her to stay safely behind me. I took over, "Several years ago, the Elders made a decision..." but I was cut off in mid sentence. "Leah, he's Sam's cousin" Bella blurted out, as if she couldn't hold the words in any longer. I frowned, why did that matter, surely she would be more interested in one of her pack being...oh!...I get it!

Leah's eyes were wide. "Michael is Sam's cousin, but he doesn't know it, and Sam didn't know it until last night". My attention turned to my queen, clearly my version of the most important bits of this story, were very different to what Bella viewed as important, and judging by Leah's reaction. I was going to go with Bella on this one.

Leah had dropped to the floor, she was shaking violently and tears were forming in her eyes. I could not judge whether she was in control or not. "Leah, do you need me to bind you?" She shook her head as the tears fell "Please Jake, please just let her hold me" I nodded and Bella flew past me, dropping to the ground alongside Leah. She wrapped her arms around her as Leah began to sob. I could hear her whispered words to Bella "What have I done?" and Bella shushing her with "it's going to be alright".

I rubbed my forehead. I hadn't been expecting the crying, I was ready for the anger and the throwing things at me bit. "Er...there's something else I need to tell you both".


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Some amazing reviews for the last chapter, thank you all so much. Just to let you know Lucyferina has put together a new fic 'We Belong' with the idea of the Bella/Paul tutoring theme from chapter 34 check it out and show her some love :)**

**Longest review yet goes to Adamamy425 - who can beat that?? This particular chapter is in Leah's POV as a thanks to Augustmoon99 for being there right from the beginning**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine!**

**

* * *

  
**

What have I done? Shame, guilt, despair, it all hit me like a truck load of bricks. It wasn't meant to be like this. I know that being with him wasn't...well it wasn't that it wasn't right. Man it had been so very very right. But it was definitely unconventional. I just wanted something that was just for me, something..urgh..I don't know! I just saw this beautiful man who made me feel like there was something more to life than just getting by...thinking of the past...loosing myself into regret and despair and I just wanted to grab a hold of life and him and freedom and happiness.

I wanted something that didn't belong to everybody else, something removed from the pack, the res, this life, something just mine. Instead it's as if I'm in some second rate daytime soap opera. Sam's cousin, you've got to be kidding me. It makes it about him, about Sam. I finally had a moment in time that was supposed to be just me, but now it's not, now it's muddled and merged and although I know it was never meant to be the case, imagine what other people would think...how spiteful – just like Leah, he left her for her cousin, now she's getting back at him. I can't help the tears, I just want the ground to swallow me whole, I said no more drama!

I feel so wrong, I thought for a moment that this was going to be my happy, my reason to be. I saw cook outs and beach trips and Bella and me with little bundles of love tucked in our arms whilst Jake and Michael built sandcastles or forts with tough little boys who screamed and shouted with glee. I cried, I cried for the glimpse of hope that I had buried inside of me. The hope that shown a little light and little comfort last night and this morning, only to have it torn away from me. He wasn't mine now, he was Sam's, and although Bella hadn't let Jake get the words out, I already knew he belonged to Jake. I could smell him as Jake opened the door. I would never forget the smell of him just as I could never erase the memory of Sam's scent from my mind.

I didn't know what had occurred, or why, but I knew instinctively now that he was a wolf, which would mean that even though I did not need to phase that often, so my memories would be private, his would not. Not one single part of him would belong to me alone, the pack would see my most intimate moments in the mind of not one but two of them. Might as well become the pack bike, hell Quil need a ride? got nothing better to do Embry? let's shack up for a bit. I bit my lip and looked Jake straight in the eye, my tears drying up as I allowed the bitterness that was my shield and comfort to weave it's way back around my heart. "So he's Sam's cousin, and a wolf, anything else?" I snapped at Jake. I felt an angry shudder run through me but I fought it back down for the safety of my best friend.

Jake's eyebrows raised "How did you know he's a wolf?" I shrugged, all energy leaving me now, I couldn't even be bothered to find the words. I also didn't even know how I knew for sure...I just knew now. Jake did that shuffly thing like in the hospital and my attention prickled, that's not a 'Leah you are bad wolf' thing, that's the 'I thought you were in love with my wife' thing. I stood up abruptly, pulling Bella up with me. "What have you done Jake?" I asked, looking at Bella to see if this was part of what she already knew, or some random tangent that Jake had thrown in all of his own. Bella's eyes had narrowed, I knew that look alright, this was definitely a Jake special.

Jake rubbed him head, ah-ha, another clear sign of guilty, looking to shift the blameness. "It's very very complicated, but basically I scared him a little bit and he took an overdose and your mum's been looking after him and he's passed out in my old room". He said it all very fast as if running the words together in some way might lessen the impact. I shoved him as hard as I could, it barely moved him he was so big now but I was so mad at him. I ran through the house, almost knocking Paul over as he came out of the back room. I skidded to a halt in the doorway. It was as if the tables had been turned, last time I stood here, it was Jake lying here and it had been my fault, now Michael being here was Jake's fault. I turned around, I could hear Jake and Bella entering the house, Bella talking to Paul, sitting down on the sofa, Jake standing in near the doorway still. I stormed into the kitchen grabbed the frying pan and launched it at his head with every bit of force I could muster.

His reflexes were too quick but he registered the intent behind the action. Bella gasped in shock. "Is he ok?" I saw Jake's expression change with hope as for a minute he thought she was referring to him, but that was quickly dashed as he caught on. "No thanks to certain people" I retorted. Bella came quickly to me and ran her hands down my arms, "I'm going to keep this lot out of your hair, just be with him Leah, don't get drawn into any arguments with these guys, just focus on what's important to you, be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, let him tell you his story, then you can tell him yours". She smiled and pushed me back towards the bedroom.

I hesitated outside the door, listening to her admonish both of them for causing trouble. Paul was playing the wounded soul, rushing to tell her that Jake had been mean to him, calling him names, that made me smile despite everything. I could see that he had finally found the mother figure he had obviously been craving for a long time.

I walked back into the bedroom and looked at Michael. His long hair lay matted over the sheets, I wondered how soon he would cut it all off, as we had all done. I ran my fingertips over his face, tracing his beautiful lips, remembering how it had felt to had them pressed against me, I threaded my fingers through him remembering how alive his touch had made me feel. One more moment, that's all I wanted, then I would give him up to be shared and divided between his obligations to pack and family, I shuddered at the last thought.

I lifted him gently and climbed into the bed underneath him, resting his head and upper torso against my chest, feeling his heartbeat as it played it's beautiful rhythm. I watched him for the longest time until his eyelids began to flicker. His eyes focussed on mine and he whispered hoarsely "Are you real this time?" I leaned forward and kissed his eyelids in turn "I'm always real" I whispered back.

Michael settled back into sleep again and I listened to the sounds around me. Bella was cooking now and I could hear Paul sitting nearby, it sounded as if he was reading, he wasn't very clear and his sentence pauses weren't great, but his word recognition wasn't that bad. He would hesitate about every ten words or so, or spell some things out but on the whole it wasn't horrendous, maybe third grade at a push, no that might be a bit generous, better not decide yet. I tried to tune in to what he was reading, it sounded familiar yet I couldn't place it. Suddenly it came to me, tell me he's not reading the Babysitters Club?

The laughter built inside me until I was shaking and Michael began to stir again. This time when he opened his eyes they were much clearer and more focussed. "Hey you" I whispered, "how you feeling?" He tilted his head to the side and winced "Like I just downed a quart of tequila". I supported him to sit up. He looked at me in a confused manner "Leah, where the hell am I?" I helped him put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that had been folded on the table, I assumed they must have been Jake's from his pre-Alpha days. "You're at Jacob Black's house on the Quileute res". He seemed shocked and nervous and began to look at his body as if examining it. "Did they beat me?" he asked quietly. My eyes narrowed "They had better not have or there'll be hell to pay". I looked at him, there was no sign of bruising, but as a wolf that didn't mean a damn thing.

"Michael, there's something I need to ask before everyone gets involved". He nodded cautiously, "Did you know before we got together, did you know what you are, what I am, who I am?" His face dropped, and he looked really sad "I don't know anything any more, but I feel like I'm supposed to, but I don't, nothing makes sense to me..." he paused "except you". He pulled me into a tight hug and I melted into him, my body moulding exactly around his. "Leah, you can tell me what's going on if you want, or we can just jump out of this window right now and keep running and you don't ever have to tell me anything, just don't leave me".

I squeezed him tightly, feelings that I was trying to prevent myself from having were bubbling to the surface again but I didn't dare to say them in case they came back to haunt me later, so I put all of my feelings into the hug. "I'm not going anywhere" I said quietly, but I wouldn't ask him to promise the same. I heard a gentle tapping on the door, it had to be Bella, none of the guys could be so polite. I opened the door and smiled at her. "Hey there, glad to see everyone's looking better, food is ready, if you're hungry?" I knew I was starving but didn't want to force Michael out into the open if he wasn't ready, I could see his caution also but our simultaneous stomach growls gave us away and we both smiled.

Paul and Jacob were sat at the table looking suitably sheepish, it seemed Bella had put all the wolves in their places again. Everybody dug in and Bella leaned back in her chair "So Michael, how are you feeling now?". Michael looked around the table but everyone else had their eyes on their plates. "I'm ok, a little confused, but I'm cool". Bella nodded. I realised that she had decided to have the 'talk' with Michael, it seemed odd but then, given the outcome of leaving the guys to interact with him, it did seem the safer option.

"Michael, do you know that you are Quileute by your father's bloodline, and that your grandmother is one of the Quileute who left the reservation when your father was a small child?" I realised then how this had come to be, he was the grandson of one of the first wives, those who had been abandoned by the imprinting of the last pack. Michael shook his head, his eyes fixed on Bella almost in disbelief.

"Michael, tonight we are going to offer you a choice". Bella paused, I looked at my best friend in awe. When we were at school, she was just another crazy kid, worrying about this and that, but when she was next to Jake, responsible for the pack alongside him, something else came over her, she truly was the Alpha's wife. Her voice was strong yet calm as she continued "You will have the choice to embrace your place amongst the Quileute, to become part of its rich and wonderful heritage, to share the responsibilities and stand side by side with your family, your friends and your loved ones". I felt my cheeks colour at this and kept my eyes to the table.

"Or, you will have the choice to return to your life away from the Quileute", she added. "Bella" Jake let out a shocked sound. Bella took his hand in hers and looked him deep in the eyes, "Jake, you of all people know that having a life forced on you is not the nicest thing to experience. Michael has a choice here, he can embrace everything that you will offer him or he can turn his back on it all". Jake mumbled in agreement, seeming to trust her reasoning and went back to eating methodically, listening intently.

"Michael, it is your choice but it is a choice you must make now, and you must know there will be no turning back. If you choose to become Quileute you will not be welcomed back to your previous life but if you choose to leave here tonight, you will leave everything and everyone behind and never return". As I listened to her words it was clear why she was the one to help him make sense of his choice. Jake, Paul and myself had entered this world of ours with no alternative, no option, no decision really. But Bella had already faced this one already, she had stood were Michael was now, and she had pledged herself to my people, my blood, knowing that she could never go back to those who she once considered family but were now her enemy. I knew at this moment more than ever before, that Jake would never have to fear for her again, she was unconditionally his.

Michael cleared his throat several times as if his meal had become stuck. "I will not be leaving here", he reached for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, sending electricity shooting through my veins. Jake and Paul looked up now, their smiles wide. Jake extended his hand across the table "Welcome home".


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Once again, lots of love to all the reviewers. Jake's point of view today.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor profit from Twilight.**

* * *

I felt relieved as he reached over to shake my hand. For a moment I had nearly lost my cool when Bella said she was offering him a choice. But once again she proved that she knew exactly what she was doing. I found it hard to grasp that this guy was willing to give up his whole life just on the basis of a few words. I thought it would take a whole heap of work to convince him, but she seemed to have got him to agree simply on the basis that his other choice was to walk away and never see Leah again.

Duh, I mentally slapped myself on the forehead. To never see her again, of course Bella would think like that, the idea of having someone ripped away from you, to disappear from your existence. I smiled contentedly. I don't know how she does it but she gets it done so I'm not complaining. Just a few weeks ago, if you had told me that I would have Paul and Leah sat at my table eating dinner, hanging on every word my mate uttered I would have laughed, but now? This woman can work miracles.

Charlie appeared as we were eating, greeting Bella and Leah as 'his favourite girls'. He seemed surprised to find Paul eating with us, anyone who's encountered Paul up til now would probably find it a surprise. Leah proudly introduced Michael to Charlie and he responded with a knowing wink that actually made Leah blush, would wonders never cease today?

"Jake, can you give me a hand with the cruiser?" I nodded and excused myself from the table, following him outside. Once we were a distance from the house I cleared my throat. "So what's going on sir?" Charlie rolled his eyes at me "More to the point, what have you been up to that makes you think you need to be giving me the 'sir' treatment?" I put my hands up "Shall we make that dad then?" I gave him a wink. Charlie huffed instead of responding. "Seriously Charlie, what's on your mind?"

Charlie stuffed his hands into his jacket and leaned back on the cruiser. "Did you leave Bella a note for after school today?" I nodded "Sure, I stuck it to the door so she'd see it straight away". Charlie reached into the cruiser through the open window. "Did you attach it with this?" He drew out silver blade that looked at least ten inches long and had an ornate carved handle. My eyes went wide and I shook my head. "Looked at bit fancy for your tastes, reminded me of a certain someone neither of us wants to see again."

I felt the blood in my body start to run cold as if someone was dragging ice across my skin. He turned the blade over in his heads "Stabbed it right through each of the words – what was it – 'love you more than life', then buried it deep in the J, took me at least ten minutes to work it out of the door". My breathing was shallow as I tried to keep control of my thoughts, the ice cold feeling had been replaced by an angry hot bubbling sensation.

Charlie walked round and opened the trunk. He fished out a large suitcase and two smaller bags and put them in my hands. "Should have got most of what she needs for a while. I'll try and get down for dinner most nights, but I'm not prepared to take the chance of leaving her there." I set the suitcase down and reached out to hold on to his shoulder "Do you want to crash down here as well just in case?" Charlie laughed and shook my hand off. "We both know this has nothing to do with me does it son? No you keep her safe and sound, I'll be as right as rain".

I nodded but made a mental note to increase patrols immediately and to include regular sweeps on the house. We walked back into the house as Bella was boxing up some dinner for Charlie. She stared in surprise at the suitcases and bags "Are you kicking me out dad?" she joked. He kissed her forehead tenderly "Just putting you in safe hands for a bit, some night shifts coming up". He went to take the boxes she was holding, then gathered her up into a hug. "I'll drop by for the game tomorrow, ok".

As Charlie headed off I pulled Paul into the front room and outlined the situation quietly, I could see Leah was following the conversation from where she was sitting and her hands clenched on the table edge. He set off to put the new patrol schedule into play, pausing to give Bella a hug and pick up his book which he stuffed into his back pocket. I gave him a glance "What?" he shrugged "I'm getting to the good bit".

I sat back down around the table, pulling Bella into my lap and kissing her gently. I wrapped my arms around her and exhaled, trying not to let these new developments unsettle me. "Harry dropped off some stuff today, do you want to get your new room set up?" She kissed the tip of my nose "Silly, it's our room", she kissed me deeply then, my heart felt like it was doing flip flops, 'ours' the word just made me tremble inside, our room, our bed, oh God I wanted to pick her up and show her exactly how much it was 'ours'! She hopped off my lap with one more kiss to my nose and grabbed Leah's hand. Just a few minutes later I could hear furniture scraping around and lots of giggling.

I nodded to Michael and headed to the couch. I flopped lazily down whilst Michael uneasily settled in the chair. "It makes sense for you to stay here if you want, while you get yourself settled." I leaned forward. "What do you want to do about your grandmother? I offered to bring her with you today but she wasn't too impressed with that." Michael looked surprised. "You offered that after all the poking and shouting?" I shrugged, "Didn't want to leave her at risk or anything". Michael shook his head "She'll be fine, she might look frail but she's a feisty old lady". He let out a deep sigh. "I don't want to get in your business but you two didn't exactly seem all that close?" I suggested pointedly.

Michael nodded "I'd never met her until dad asked me to help out. I don't think her and dad got on at all. I guess I'd always thought he was an orphan, he never spoke about anyone back home or anything. From the moment I arrived she was on my case, always going on about how I was 'just like him' and 'not to be trusted'. I told the Elders that we needed the extra money, that's why I started at the hospital, but the truth is I just needed some time away from her, she was always having a go at me for everything."

He let out a long sigh "It really did seem like she didn't like me, I might sound like the worst person in the world but I'm pleased that there is somewhere else that I might fit in. I never wanted to let dad down, that's why I didn't leave, but then everything went so wrong and the Elders said I couldn't go back to my family, that's when it just felt like I was loosing myself completely." I just nodded at him, it made more sense as to why he'd been so willing to give it up, if it had merely been an obligation and not something he truly felt attached to. I'd only spent about twenty minutes in the old lady's company and I already knew I wouldn't be able to put up with her full time!

"I'll make arrangements for our Elders to get your things and explain the situation. There will be some anger and it's best that you just stay out of it as much as possible". He leaned back in the chair, then sat up again, speaking very low "but what about my medication, the healer…" I nodded seriously at this. "Michael, that's going to be part of your agreement to being here, you will need to give up the meds". He looked shocked, and stood up in an agitated manner. Bella wandered back in the room, her adorable smile such a contrast to his look of concern. She walked over to Michael and reached out to him affectionately. "The Quileute have a genetic condition which is often misdiagnosed, you'll be taught how to manage it, just like Jake, Paul and the others, even Leah, no medications or anything unpleasant like that". How does she think of these things on the fly like that? It's like she knows just what to say to a person to stop them freaking out.

Leah appeared now, leaning against the corner "I thought you already knew what you were, but Bella explained the confusion". She walked over to Michael and wrapped her arms around him. He looked at her, poor guy looked completely bewildered "You're not scared of me?" Leah pressed against him in a manner which left no misinterpretation, "Michael baby, it's you who should be afraid". The kiss the guy got then would have blown his socks off had he been wearing any.

"LEAH JANE CLEARWATER YOU PUT THAT BOY DOWN!" Sue's icy tone cut through the steamy atmosphere and Leah visibly paled. "Mommy?" as Sue stormed through the door. "Don't you mommy me missy, that's no way for a lady to behave, now say your goodnights and get yourself home now, it's a school night". Sue's tone had me flinching and once again I was pleased that it was directed at somebody else. "But mom, Bella's allowed to stay!" Leah pouted. Sue was having none of it "Yes young lady and once you are presented as someone's beloved you can stay with them too, until then you and I need to have a talk about where you spent last night!" Leah covered her face in horror and then glared at me. Michael turned a deep shade of red. "Mrs Clearwater, please I don't want you to think I meant any disrespect."

I winced, realising that he had just focused Sue's anger on himself. "I'm not particularly concerned what you want right now, if you hadn't just been ill I would have been running you out of here with my husband's shot gun right now. You bedded my eighteen year old daughter without even telling her what your name was! Now I may not have much say in what goes on around here, but I know who does". She spun around and fixed me with a cold stare "Alpha Black, will you promise to protect my daughter and ensure that she is appropriately chaperoned at all times when around this…this…Uley".

Sue spat the name out with such venom that it finally rammed understanding into my mind. She had watched Leah destroyed by Sam, abandoned, over-looked. She had tried to pick up the pieces and put her back together, only to have them smashed again when Leah phased, and now that Bella had finally given her back something that actually looked like the daughter she remembered, another Uley crashes into her life. It would have been the same as putting Bella back together, only to have her walk off into the sunset with one of 'his' leech brothers. "Sue, you have my word that I will protect Leah. If she wishes to be with Michael, Bella or I will also be present. Does that satisfy everyone?" Sue begrudgingly nodded, Leah had her head in her hands but I saw her nod. Michael looked too shocked to say anything. Bella smiled widely "Yay, double-dating, how much fun".

Sue directed Leah out to the car. She looked to Bella "Has he eaten anything?" Bella smiled, "Yes Sue, he's slept without issue and eaten dinner". She nodded and turned to Michael, "You should be fine then, but I mean it, you cause her any pain and you'll be praying you are unconscious again". She slammed the door behind her. Michael still hadn't moved. Bella perched on the arm of the chair. "Your cousin did a lot of damage to that family, it's nothing personal". Michael looked at Bella, "Is she really only eighteen and still at school?" Bella nodded, "It's part of the genetic condition, how old do you think Jake is?" Michael looked at me and shrugged "About twenty-five, twenty-eight maybe". I let out a loud belly laugh and sank back in the chair "I'm sixteen dude". Michael shook his head in disbelief. "Can this day get any stranger?".


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Firstly, check out my fabulous Avatar that Nikitajuice made me, inspired by Super Alpha Jake. I am absolutely over the moon with it and she's going to do a banner for the story Yay!! Chapters are short at the minute, I've just had to take on a third job, not that excuses count I know but it's either short and regular, or long but lord only knows when it will ever get updated. Anyway, advanced warning, this chapter has a bit of loving in it, if it's not your thing or you know your mom won't like you reading it, stop at the line and wait for the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor profit from Twilight; All lyrics in this chapter are the property of McLean - the song is titled 'My Name'. Have a listen, I think it describes Jake's feelings beautifully.**

**

* * *

  
**

"Sweetheart", I rubbed Jake's arm "how about I stay here and chat to Michael while you pick your dad up from Harry's. He'll probably want to leave once he sees the mood Sue is in". Jake nodded. There was a flicker of hesitation as his eyes passed between Michael and myself but it passed quickly and was replaced by his beautiful trusting smile. He kissed the top of my head and grabbed the keys to the truck.

I settled into the chair and turned to Michael. "Ok, ask away, anything that's on your mind". Michael's expression changed from confusion to concern "What did my cousin do to Leah?" I sighed, "He abandoned her. He was her first love, the person she thought was her future, then he left her without a word after falling for her cousin Emily. Losing him nearly destroyed her, and it's left her mom obviously quite angry, although up to today I think she had been repressing it well".

I saw the shudder run through Michael. His eyes grew wide and he clutched at his arms which only made the shuddering worse. He looked at me in horror. "Michael, it's ok, honestly it's ok". He shook his head, his face burning. "Michael, listen to me, it's an emotional response, your body is responding to what you are feeling. You're angry that someone hurt Leah that's all. I want you to take some deep breaths and close your eyes". I looked at him, his eyes were closed now but he was still shaking.

"Now imagine you are just waking up like before. Can you see Leah's face in your mind? Can you see her smiling at you?" I heard him take another deep breath, then another and the shaking gradually stopped. His eyes opened and he looked at me in shock "That's it? it's just psycho-somatic?" I shrugged, I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. "If you mean it's controlled by your mind, yes, to a large degree it is. If you get upset, or frightened, or angry, you will start to shake, when you calm down, it will stop".

Michael looked angry now "Why didn't they just say that before, why did I have to take those meds if I could fix it just by meditating or something?" I sighed again, straight to the tough questions. "You are only in the first phase of your development. Those Elders were hoping to prevent you from taking your place as one of the Quileute protectors". He looked at me in fascination. "Go on" he urged. "Certain members of the tribe, Jake, Paul, your cousin Sam, Leah and others you haven't met yet Quil, Embry, Jared and Seth are genetically programmed to be Protectors".

"They are faster, stronger, more powerful than the rest of the tribe so that they can protect them". Michael's jaw was almost on the floor "You mean kind of like super-hero stuff". I laughed, "Well they don't fly or make spider webs but yes, it will probably make more sense if you think of it like that". Michael breathed out "but they're so young".

I knew this comment was just as much about Leah as it was about Jake and I nodded. "In a way, but once they enter the second stage of their development they get a lot bigger and age mentally and emotionally very quickly". Michael was running his fingers through his hair thoughtfully. "So will I enter this second stage now I'm off the meds?" I nodded, "it's more than likely, but over the next few days Jake and the guys will work with you to prepare you, so that when it does happen it doesn't frighten you".

The door opened and Billy wheeled in. He waved to Michael "I'm Billy Black. Jake's dad and one of the Elders here. Bella got you all straightened out with who you are?" Michael nodded and looked at me for reassurance. "Don't worry, Billy knows everything and more" I smiled. Michael cleared his throat, "I get the feeling there's a lot more to learn but I get the basics. I'm supposed to be some kind of super-hero, same as Leah, Jake and Paul, but other people got involved, so now I'm a bit caught in the middle for the moment". Billy chuckled as Jake came in "Yep, she pretty much summed it up, tomorrow I'll give you a crash course on Quileute history then when these guys get home from school then can bring you up to speed on everything else'. He nodded sagely and wheeled off towards the bedroom without any further comment.

Michael continued to run his fingers through his hair. "Do you mind if I grab a shower and then hit the sack. I know I've been passed out all day but I feel seriously tired'. I smiled, I knew what it felt like to step into the world of weird and wonderful, part of you wants to stay up all night asking questions, but part of you is so mentally exhausted you could sleep for a week. Poor guy. Jake sorted him out some towels and stuff and we left him to get organised.

Jake was looking at me cautiously. "What's wrong?" I asked. He shrugged "I'm just waiting for you to chew me out for messing everything up". I laughed and climbed onto his lap. "I think it worked out pretty well in the end, don't you? Even if it wasn't the most conventional way of getting him on side, at least now he can take in the information bit by bit and all of you are on hand to support him through it".

He stood up, cradling me in his huge arms "Well if I'm not in trouble, are you ready to turn in too?" he asked with a devilish smile that made my heart flutter. "Absolutely" I squeaked in reply. Jake carried me through to the bedroom. I knew that he could feel my heart pounding in my chest like a bass drum. I had slept by his side too many times to count, but this was our first night in 'our' room. He set me down shyly and spent a minute looking around the room. "Do you like it?" I asked quietly. He looked at me with such intensity my knees nearly gave way. "It's perfect baby.". He motioned towards my bags, "why don't you get unpacked while I get dad settled". I went to move to the bags but he took a step towards me and caught my chin. Lowering his head, his lips met mine with scorching heat. He slipped his hand around to the back of my head and pressed my head against his, the sensation made me weak, as if his mouth were devouring me. I gasped and he chuckled "just so you don't miss me while I'm gone".

* * *

As he left the room I struggled to catch my breath. My heart was thudding powerfully in my chest. I had found a little radio when I was tidying away the girls' stuff and I turned it on quietly. I'd come to realise that Billy tended to be asleep the second that his head hit the pillow but I wasn't sure if Michael's super hearing had kicked in yet and it left me a little self-conscious. I slipped the clothes that Charlie had packed for me into one of the drawers in the dresser and hung a couple of other bits up. I took off my jeans and laid them on the top of the dresser and slipped off my top and bundled it into the corner. I hadn't got round to sorting out a laundry basket yet. I unhooked my bra and added it and my panties to the bundle. I was just turning back to the drawer to get my sleep clothes out when I heard the door click.

Jake was standing with his back against the door, his eyes were locked to me and I went to cover myself in embarrassment. His movements were lightening fast as he moved himself towards me "Please don't hide yourself from me" he whispered huskily "you are so beautiful". He wound his fingers through mine and raised my hands to his shoulders. He was so tall that just that simple movement caused my body to press against him, the heat was intoxicating, like stepping into a sauna, igniting my skin. He traced his fingertips down my arms and down my sides to my waist. "So beautiful".

He lifted me up gently then, carrying me delicately over to the bed. As he sat me down, he stroked down my face, brushing my hair back. His lips met mine so tenderly I could hardly breathe. His head twisted suddenly towards the radio and he reached out for it. He lay it on the bed next to us and I looked at him strangely, "just listen" he whispered, turning the volume up slightly. He kissed me again softly, and I felt a slight pressure that caused me to lower myself back onto the bed. He rested over me, leaning on one elbow, stroking my face gently and began to whisper the words of the song, "baby you got me falling uncontrollably in love". He kissed me again, sliding himself fully over me now, kicking off his shorts gracefully as he moved.

"That just isn't enough, hey I wanna give you my name" his expression was so intense, so powerful. The breath caught in my chest at the thought of belonging to him so completely. I lifted my head so that my lips to could meet his. He continued to murmur the words "my name" over and over again with his mouth pressed against mine. I wrapped one leg up and around his hip. I knew I wanted him, on a completely different level to those moments of rushed desire I had felt before, I wanted him to be me, to take me, to own me completely and wholly. I wanted him to exist with me, inside of me, for there to be nothing, not even air separating us.

The words of the song felt like they were coating us, wrapping around our bodies as he guided himself into me. I gasped bringing my arms tightly around him. We were barely moving, barely breathing yet the world was crashing down and spinning all around. He was so achingly gentle that I lost myself immediately to the pleasure his love bought. My mind searched for words to describe it but there were none left in the sea of bliss we were travelling. "You take the pain away, you make it worth the wait" Jake's voice was so quiet it was barely discernible from his shaky breaths. His hold was gentle yet so firm, his arms sliding underneath me until I was held fast against his chest.

Every movement he made in time with the song, his lips pressed against my ear as he whispered "my name" over and over again. My breath was catching in my chest again, building inside me, the feeling so intense my back was arching upwards, pressing me harder into his chest. He began to gasp "I can't hold on...if you...oh Bella...". I caught his face with my hands and brought his lips to mine "It's ok, baby it's ohhhh" My head rolled back as the pleasure overwhelmed me, hurtling down my spine pulling me backwards, my eyes almost fluttered shut but I struggled to keep them open, to watch as Jake's face contorted with pleasure, he drew up on his arms but his shoulders curled down as the sensation overwhelmed him. Every muscle in his upper body seemed to become taut, then he exploded with a moan and I felt his warmth inside of me.

His forehead rested upon mine "I'm so sorry" he whispered. I tensed in alarm and twisted my head back so I could look at him "Sorry for what?" I was concerned, no more like horrified, that had been perfect, blissfully, heavenly even, what could he be apologising for? "I couldn't keep going...it felt so good...so amazing...I couldn't help myself". I giggled gently, "It doesn't matter whether it lasts one song or an entire album Jake, it was perfect, you are perfect". He moved to the side and lay himself on the bed. I rolled towards him, snuggling against his chest. He wrapped his arm around me "but isn't it about the guy being able to go all night long or something?" he whispered. I smiled and stretched my head up to catch his lips again. "Of course it is Jake", I kissed him again, as his face twisted with sadness "luckily with you being an amazingly sexy Super Alpha that doesn't mean the same thing as it does for most guys". I smiled wider as his forehead furrowed in confusion. I ran my finger down his chest "Super strength, super abilities, super endurance...super recovery time?". His smile returned, stretching wide across his face "Oh, I get it!" he said excitedly.

I kissed his nose "well not tonight you don't, we've both got school in the morning" I teased. He gave a little pout but then smiled again, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I snuggled back into him, the warmth of his body coupled with the gorgeous residual feeling of pleasure was dragging me off to sleep. I could feel his heart rate settling again into its normal comforting beat. As I began to drift off I imagined that he had been saying, 'Bella Black', it certainly had a ring to it.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Argh... so sorry, Life is so crazy! Tried to get the word length up a bit but just as I feared, this then meant it took me for ever! Anyway, it's here now. To those who felt I was a little mean to Jake in the last chapter I'm sorry, but despite all his super powers, it was only his second time, and his first time completely focussed without the wolf involvement. I have to write it the way I see it! Also, the Y key had gone on a glitch on my laptop so if they are randomly missing, I apologise. I'm going to let you guys suggest the date venue for the next chapter, so add your preferences in to your reviews [hint hint].**

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor profit for Twilight**

**

* * *

  
**

My eyes opened sleepily. I could feel Jake's warmth next to me. He was laying flat on his back, his eyes squeezed shut. His beautiful face was set in a grimace and his lips were moving silently. I rolled over on to an elbow and leaned over him, kissing him softly as I ran my hand down his chest. He spluttered and sat up shaking his head, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he did so. Only once he had stopped shaking his head did he peek his eyes open. He gave me a beautiful smile. "Hey you". He kissed me gently.

"What were you doing?" I asked as he pulled me back into his arms. "Just checking in with Quil, he was running the patrol last night". Jake stroked my hair as he spoke. "So why were your eyes all smooshed shut?" I kissed his chest lightly. "Firstly, it gives me an evil headache talking to them like this and secondly, I don't feel as in control of my thoughts out of my wolf mind and I didn't want Quil sharing in this beautiful view", he raised his eyebrows suggestively and I swatted his shoulder. "So why not go wolf it up?" I teased. "Did I mention the view?" Jake asked incredulously. I giggled and we tumbled around in a silly fashion for several minutes.

I caught my breath and paused to wrap the sheet round me. It was time for a little seriousness. "Ok, enough morning giggles, when are you going to tell me what's going on?" Jake looked surprised "Going on?" he asked tentatively. "Sweetheart" I shook my head lightly "Charlie turns up for man talk", I made air quotes with my fingers. "brings you my stuff despite the whole not on a school night rule, then Paul spins out of here like his backside is on fire, you're doing early morning patrol liaison..." I paused and looked at Jake. I wasn't going to fight for information, I wanted him to get in the habit of keeping me in the loop.

Jake nodded and put his hands up submissively "Yes leech activity, yes seems it's Bella related, no Charlie's not in danger, yes he thinks something is up, yes maybe it's a Cullen, no don't know who exactly, no nobody's been hurt". He exhaled heavily. I leaned forward and kissed his nose. "See that wasn't so hard was it?" Of course there were a thousand extra questions I wanted to ask, but I realised that if I was going to get him to be comfortable keeping me in the loop, I had to make it as painless as possible. I picked up one of Jake's t-shirt and slipped it on, grabbing my shampoo and things from the bag. "Boo!" he hissed, gesturing towards the t-shirt and pouting like a toddler. "What you want me to run around naked all the time?" He shrugged, "It would save on laundry". I laughed and headed off to the bathroom.

I got myself ready, my mind running on all the developments of the previous day. Michael was now living with us, well let's start with the fact that now Jake and I were seemingly living together, although for how long and in what capacity this agreement had been reached between my dad and my boyfriend, I was unawares. Clearly I was just a package that they were seemingly dividing amongst themselves, but luckily for them both I loved them too much to be overly concerned. If it meant that I could live with Jake without it being an issue, then that was great, and at whatever point I was 'reclaimed' by my father, well I guess we'd have to deal with that then.

Then there was Michael, he was doing well with the drip-fed information. I'm fairly sure that Jake and Paul would have probably just dropped the 'Hey, you're a wolf' line straight on him, but it seemed like the poor guy was quite shaken up with life in general, so softly softly seemed fairer. Ultimately it seemed that he was more concerned with the fact that he now appears to have an eighteen year old girl friend. I wasn't certain how old he actually was. He was an ER nurse, so he would have to be qualified, that meant what a 4 year degree course? And he had qualified before he had even moved here, so he could actually be a good couple of years older than Sam, and Sam had already been older than Leah, so we could be looking at maybe 8 or 10 years age gap. Now I know that with her accelerated development she is mentally and emotionally his peer in that, but how many older guys are used to still having to work around the parent factor that goes with a younger girlfriend. I sense some tricky trials ahead.

Then, there's me, and yesterday, and wow 'eventually' . It was just so beautiful and special and perfect. I know Jake had been a bit stressed about how long it had lasted, but I really couldn't see the problem. Surely as long as both parties enjoy themselves then that's all that really matters.

I was interrupted from my pondering by banging on the door. It had slipped my mind that I was now sharing a house and a single bathroom with three guys rather than the relatively absent Charlie. I hopped out and rushed to get ready for school. After giving Jake a rather lust filled kiss goodbye I jumped in the truck and headed over to Leah's. As I pulled up she was sitting on the front step looking like a six year old who had lost her kitten. She dragged herself over to the passenger door and dropped onto the seat.

"Tell me the truth" she wailed, "he hates me now doesn't he?" I had to laugh at her despite her scowling and general size and intimidatingness. "Leah he doesn't hate you, he's just a bit freaked out about the age thing, that's all. I mean it's not like you're a minor, but he just wasn't expecting it. He'll be fine". She breathed out heavily and relaxed somewhat. "Look, I was going to suggest we double-dated tomorrow, you know do the whole Friday night thing. How about you decide what we're going to do and we can tell them after school?" Leah looked at me in excitement. "Can I chose anything?" My forehead creased in concern. "As long as I won't hate every minute of it", I replied nervously. She was definitely distracted now and I could see her considering the various options and their benefits.

The morning passed without issue and over lunch we continued the discussion. I extended the invitation to Angela and Ben, but they already had plans with Ben's parents. By the afternoon Leah had become a nervous wreck. She was glancing at the clock every few minutes and almost bouncing in her chair by the end of the last class. I nearly lost my shoulder attachment as she dragged me across the parking lot "Eager much are we?" I teased. "Shut up!" she replied in a very adult fashion.

I let her drive, clearly she was too excitable to tolerate sitting in the passenger seat, and my truck groaned as she pushed it hard. However, once we neared the house, she slowed down considerably. She fussed with the rear-view, checking her hair. I had to laugh. We headed into the house, Jared and Michael were lounging in the front room eating sandwiches and chatting with Billy. Michael stood up straight away whilst Leah tried to look nonchalant leaning against the doorframe. He took the room in two strides and swept her into his arms as she giggled. The rest of us let out a long sigh of relief. I had been almost 95% certain that he would react positively, but there's always that 5% of testosterone-based unpredictability that has to be accounted for.

It turned out that Jake had gone to his history classes, which I must admit surprised me. This made me feel awful. I felt like I'd underestimated his commitment to them, just because the last few days had been a bit drama-filled and then there had been that blow up with his history teacher over the whole Michael thing. His maturity was so inspiring, so respectable, so damn attractive! A little smile played across my lips as I remembered exactly how attractive he had looked last night. "Ok, is anyone planning on studying here?" Jared's whine cut through my thoughts. Leah unwound herself from Michael's embrace and he let her go with a tap to her backside that made her giggle again. Giggling, it was the most unlike Leah sound I had ever heard but it filled my heart with joy.

Billy headed out the front door and Michael wandered out the back. I decided to see how he was getting on. He sat down on the ground, leaning against the wood pile. I perched on the bottom step. "So how did today go?" I asked quietly. "Billy tells the most amazing stories, I swear I must have listened for hours". His voice was full of respect and I knew that Billy had definitely won him over. "But a lot of this stuff is hard to take in. I mean, from the stuff Billy was saying, and from what I remember from my grandmother's house, Jake really is the head of the Quileute tribe". I nodded, my eyes prickling with pride. "but he's sixteen!" Michael looked away, shaking his head.

I went and sat in front of him "You don't have to understand this Michael, it doesn't need to make sense in the conventional terms, you just need to believe, and to trust them, everything else will become clear when it needs to". I reached out to hold his arm, to try and provide some kind of reassurance, but his movement was fast and he caught my wrist as I did so. "There were things Billy told me, things that I don't believe in, things that he said you would be able to convince me of. It got me to thinking, who are you Bella? You're not native, yet this stuff seems to flow through you like you were made for it, and then there's you and Jake, it's not like anything I've seen kids be involved in".

I pulled back my arm "I'm not a kid, so do not treat me like one. It will do you good to learn that not everybody with the face of a 'kid' as you put it, is as young as you think they are". I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I bit my lip trying to find a polite way of either carrying on the conversation or excusing myself back to Leah and Jared. "I'm sorry Bella" his voice was quiet. "I feel like I'm barely in control of my brain at the moment. Do you ever have the feeling that you are standing on the edge of a cliff, like right at the very edge, and the very next move you make has the ability to change your entire existence?" I smiled despite my irritation.

"Michael, it may seems crazy and cliff-edge at the minute, but you haven't even begun to realise how many people are standing right next to you holding your hand, or are waiting in the water below ready to catch you". "But Bella, what if I jump at the wrong time, what if no one is around?" I looked at him seriously, I wanted to see how close he was to his change. "Michael, I want to try something with you, are you up for it?". He cocked his head to the side "Ok" he shrugged, looking at me with intrigue. "I want you to close your eyes, try to find Jake, try to call out to him", he opened his eyes and looked at me as if I had grown a second head "You mean shout?" I shook my head "No, try to call him inside your mind, try to reach out to him with our thoughts". Michael twisted his head to the side and I heard the bones crunch a little, then he shook out his shoulders and closed his eyes. I could hear his breathing slow and then ever so quietly he whispered "Jake".

He shot backwards like he had electricity flowing threw him, his whole body was vibrating and his breathing was out of control. I jumped up and tried to grab his head. I shook his face "Michael, Michael" I shouted "Open your eyes!". His eyes flew open and I could see the sheer terror in them. His whole body was vibrating now "Jake!" I looked deep into his eyes "Jake, break the connection, it's frightened him!" I felt a whirl hit me as Jared came crashing into me, pulling me far away from Michael. His arms were wrapped around me as we came to a halt several feet away. Leah was now wrapped around Michael, stroking his hair and whispering to him. I could see the shaking starting to calm.

"What were you thinking Bella?" Jared's tone was harsh but his eyes showed his fear. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just thought it would make him feel safe knowing that he could always reach Jake. I didn't think he would...I'm sorry". I slumped against him, realising my mistake. I had mistaken the control that Jake had around me for a natural control that the wolves had. My mind flashed to Emily when I met her at the bonfire, the terrible scars marking her pretty face. It wasn't natural to all of them, it was yet another one of Jake's Super Alpha abilities. I had very nearly caused Michael to hurt me.

Moments later I was being pulled out of Jared's arms and into Jake's. His grip was so tight I could hardly breathe but I didn't complain, the guilt was just eating me up. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think" I whispered. "It's ok baby, it's ok, it's my fault. I should have skipped class and been here to deal with this, if anything had happened to you, I wouldn't have forgiven myself". I could hear how his words were catching in his throat and I felt awful for upsetting him. He kissed my hair and my face and hugged me tightly.

I heard Michael's voice and lifted my head "Jake, I'm sorry, I freaked out, but please believe me I was never going to hurt her". He sounded so confused and ashamed. Jake kissed me once again on the top of my head and sat me down on the step. "Michael", Jake's voice was strong and intense "don't think I doubt your intentions, but until you are in control of yourself you have no idea of the danger you pose to those around you". Michael's eyes locked on Jake's "I've heard that before, when they sent us away, what do you mean?".

Jake moved away from me and walked towards Michael, as he stepped he pulled off his t-shirt, tossing it to the side. He took another step and locked his eyes on Michael "you are not what you think you are" and with the next step Jake shuddered into the transformation. His huge human body burst into his massive wolf body. He took up all of the available space and the tip of his nose was now squarely between Michael's eyes. Michael stumbled backwards several paces. His arms flailing. Leah moved to Jake's side. "He wants you to sit down", she spoke precisely, in a clipped tone and I realised she was translating for him, as Michael plopped to the floor a moment of sadness washed over me as I looked at the connection they all had with him. Before I had been so pleased that my mind was elusive, and locked away from Edward's knowledge. But now I wanted nothing more than to be able to hear Jake's beautiful voice inside my mind, the way they were all able to.

Michael sat and stared, his mouth was hanging open. Every so often he would appear to be about to speak, but then it would just fall open again. "Bella, Jake would like some shorts", Leah's tone was clipped again, and I jumped to my feet and hurried in. I pulled open the drawers and found a pair. Jake was crouched on the floor as I came out and Leah discretely turned away as he slipped his shorts on. "Do you understand the stories as they were told to you now?" Jake asked Michael. Michael struggled to his feet. "I...I...I think I'm going to be sick". He rushed into the house and Leah followed him.

"Is that a normal reaction?" I asked Jake and Jared, who were looking at each other. Jared shrugged "Not seen that one before, Paul, Leah and this one were pi...sorry not very impressed, Embry was terrified, Quil and Seth were like hyped to the max...vomiting is a new one to me, but then everybody else found out after they had phased, not before so maybe that's a factor". Jake was rubbing his head "I'm trying to remember the stuff Sam used to say but it doesn't make as much sense when he hasn't phased yet".

Michael came back out warily, "Ok, so let me get this straight, are you telling me I'm going to turn into a giant wolf soon?" He sounded like he was waiting for one of those prank MTV shows to jump out of the bushes. "Pretty much" said Leah as she slipped her arms around him. "For real?" Michael had gone pale again and I realised that as much as it looked affectionate, Leah's arms were effectively holding him up now. "All of you?" Michael scanned around "Well except me, hence the whole 'concerned about Bella thing'" I piped up.

"Of course, absolutely, I totally understand now, I mean, I wouldn't have wanted me around you either, if I'm a freaking great big Goddamn animal!" His tone was slightly hysterical now. Jared smiled "Ok, this is more what I'm used to...it's cussing time, nobody's broken Paul's record yet". "Hey I heard my name?" Paul appeared around the house. "Remember how many times you cussed when you first phased?" Jared laughed. Paul smiled "Ahh good times, good times". He came over and wrapped his arms around me "Yay, teacher's still in one piece!". Jake let out a small huff and Paul quickly unwrapped himself from me and wandered over to Michael "So you gonna man up and deal or do I need to slap your bitch ass!" he taunted. Michael straightened up and seemed to be calmer "Excuse me?", they began pushing and shoving each other in a jokey fashion. Pretty soon Jared joined in too.

Leah sat down on the step "Typical men, one minute it's king of the dramatics, next minute rolling around in the dirt with each other". I sat down next to her and rested my head on her shoulder "Did you tell Michael about Friday night?" Leah leaned back "Babe" she shouted so loud I jumped "We're going out tomorrow with Bella and Jake." Michael stood up "Ok" and was tackled down by both Jared and Paul with taunts of being 'whipped'. Jake wandered over "we going anywhere in particular?" I saw Leah's lips move and a grin spread across Jake's face "No fair, that's discrimination against non-wolves, I'm sure there are rules about that!" I grumbled away to myself, mental connections, talking outside of my hearing range, I just felt very left out. "Oh sweetie, it's just a little surprise" Leah joshed my shoulder. I hmphed at her. Jake picked me up and slung me over his shoulder "You're coming with me, I've got an hour before Charlie gets here and I intend to make the most of it!"


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thanks again to you wonderful reviewers and P'm'ers. Your suggestions made me chuckle! **

**Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from Twilight**

* * *

The following afternoon I found myself back at Jake's, this time with my less than enthusiastic study group. Leah and I were not having much success at trying to convince Jake, Quil and Embry that Macbeth was actually a literary masterpiece. We had settled on getting them to act out some of the scenes, trying to understand what each of the characters had meant but I could tell we were fighting a losing battle. I was actually finding myself missing Paul's presence. His new found enthusiasm was really refreshing. I had been able to work with the counsellor at school and locate an adult literacy programme in Port Angeles which he had gone to visit today. It would mean he would spend the rest of the school year there and then there would be the possibility of reintegrating him once his literacy was on target. I'd expected him to be resistant but he'd just sat there and smiled, asking if it would make me happy if he went. Make me happy? It was supposed to be all about him, but his face had lit up when I'd said I would be happy if he at least went to visit. He reminded me a lot of Emmett now, big and burly yet with such a child-like happiness, he was like a big little brother if that made any sense at all.

Michael had gone with Billy to meet with the Elders who had visited his former reservation and obtained his belongings. Apparently they had been able to reach a reasonable agreement regarding Michael but it had added to the tension between the Quileute and what Leah had come to term 'The First Wives Club'. Michael was also being informed of the decisions that had previously been made about him and the reasoning. Jake had sent Jared as a peace keeper. I had questioned Jake as to why he didn't want to attend, but the immediate shaking that started had made me realise that he still didn't trust his own anger in front the Elders on this particular issue. Jake had insisted that Michael had a right to ask his own questions and seemed quite intent on this 'no secrets' principle. I had cast my mind back to Billy's words that night that Jake had been so angry with him, and worried about whatever the secret was that Billy was still keeping.

Quil and Embry were getting very dramatic in their reciting. Leah's frustration with them was evident. "Why can't you just understand how you need to see this act, otherwise the paper is never going to make sense!" I turned slowly on my heel. "Leah, why don't you just show them then?" I asked. All of the heads turned to me. "Look, I don't get why you don't see what it is we are trying to explain and we have been trying for nearly two hours now, so I'm thinking, if you could 'see' how Leah understands the act, maybe it would make more sense?" Leah broke into a huge grin. "That's perfect, ok morons, get stripped and we are doing Literature appreciation for dummies wolf-style!' I raised my eyebrows at her as the guys filed outside 'Aren't we supposed to be learning to be proper teachers, I'm not sure 'morons' and 'dummies' are appropriate classroom language Miss Clearwater". Leah huffed in response "Have you seen what they've been like for the past couple of hours. I used to enjoy Macbeth, I'm not sure I could ever read again for pleasure after seeing how they massacred it. Quil actually thought 'out damn spot' meant Lady Macbeth was squeezing a pimple!"

Leah headed outside for her wolf class whilst I started to put together a snack for the guys. I still wasn't sure what we were doing for the double-date this evening, but seen as there were wolves going, I'm sure it will involve food, so I decided not to risk eating now. I plated up some sandwiches for each of them and went to take a shower. I was standing in the bedroom afterwards having a wardrobe issue. If I didn't know what we were doing this evening, how would I know what to wear? "Leah!" I muttered. I heard her reply through the door, clearly her mouth full of sandwich "Nice jeans and a sexy top will do just fine". Damn that super hearing ability, however at least with jeans it was making it less likely that the dreaded dancing was on the agenda. I had enjoyed dancing with Jake at the bonfire, but that had been a different kind of experience. The idea of going back to a bar, even with two and a half wolves for protection still really didn't appeal after last time.

I finally decided on my nicest pair of slim fitting jeans and a pretty vest top with a dressy black cardigan over it. I looked in the mirror, luckily this room having been the girls' it had the only full-length mirror in the house, I was pleased with the result. The door opened and Jake strolled in, water dripping from his short flattened hair, the droplets rolling down his gorgeous torso and abs and pooling into the small towel that was tucked dangerously low on his hips. I couldn't help the gasp that left my lips, he looked outrageously gorgeous. He lifted his arm to push the water from his hair and I almost lost the use of my legs. His eyes lifted from the floor and met mine, and I saw them darken as he registered my desire for him.

I was just about to move towards him when an outrageously loud moan could be heard through the walls. My mouth dropped open in shock and Jake thumped the wall "Cut that out and get dressed, I made a promise to your mother!" He shouted. My face heated with embarrassment for Leah, but also for myself. Just a few minutes more in Jake's naked, wet presence and I'm sure they would have been the ones hearing things. I feasted my eyes one last time on the glorious sight and then scurried out to wait on the couch, not trusting myself to behave if I remained in the room. Jake watched me move out of the room with a sexy smirk on his face and he ran the tip of his tongue across his top lip suggestively. I bolted out of the room and collapsed onto the couch breathing heavily.

Leah appeared sporting her trademark unimpressed pout. "Spoilsport" she hissed as she passed our bedroom door. "Bite me" came the muffled response. Although the interaction had been a little embarrassing, it made me happy that they were still at that kind of silliness level. When we had first got back and Jake was adjusting to becoming Alpha I had feared that any chance of us being a group of friends had been lost but it was a tribute to both of them how effortlessly they moved between the roles. When it was a pack matter, Leah observed her position and it was almost formal, I mentally flipped back to her clipped tone when she was translating for Jake yesterday. When Leah was tutoring, Jake was comfortably adopting the role of student, without challenging her authority or trying to pull rank, and then there were these times, were everybody suddenly seemed completely equal and it was as if all of the mythical world suddenly disappeared and we were just regular people again.

The guys were finally ready. Jake was wearing a white t-shirt that hugged all of his muscles and it was tucked into a pair of low slung jeans. He looked like he had stepped out of a magazine, every woman's pin up guy. I made a mental note to ask whether modelling was acceptable for the pack. Michael looked less comfortable, he was pulling at his top. "What's the matter babe?" Leah asked. Michael looked confused "They bought my stuff over, but it's as if someone has shrunk all of it. I used to wear this top over other stuff, but now it hardly fits", he complained. Jake chuckled "Welcome to my world, you'll go up a whole heap of sizes over the next few weeks, we'll need to get you back to work soon just so you can keep up with the clothes shopping".

We piled into Michael's truck. It was a much more modern than mine and had two rows of seats so we all fitted in. Leah began directing him and I soon realised we were heading for Port Angeles. "Is anyone going to tell me where we're going?" I whined. However the kiss that I received from Jake soon had me forgetting my question. He pulled up at a parking lot and Jake took my hand to help me out of the truck. I leaned in to him, suddenly feeling a little unsure of myself. Leah caught my expression and smiled "Relax Bella, we're going to an open mic comedy night, is that ok with you?" I breathed out heavily, comedy, I could handle that, sitting, a table, listening. I nodded and smiled. Even I couldn't come to harm whilst sitting down.

Leah had booked a table and our good-looking guys caught every waitresses' attention and they were soon buzzing around trying to please. I sat back and relaxed, this was perfect. The acts were a mixed bunch, some were terrible and had us groaning, but others had us laughing hard. The last guy did a whole skit on meeting his mother-in-law that had me laughing until my sides were aching. Both Jake and Michael had tears running down their faces and Leah was bent double snorting and guffawing. I looked around the table, my attention to the comedian lost. The life, the energy of these three overwhelmed me. I was utterly, blissfully happy.

After the comedy we headed to a little café to get some food. The guys kept reciting different lines and I nearly choked several times on my food, needing Jake to slap my back gently each time to get me breathing again. We were laughing again about the mother-in-law act. Leah was role-playing Renee and trying to establish Jake's 'intentions' towards me. She had Renee's mannerisms down perfectly, but some of the comments went a little close to the bone. I knew they hadn't gone on perfectly during the trip but despite all her faults I still loved me mother unconditionally. "Well not all of us have the benefits of being able to explain imprinting to their mothers" I interjected in an attempt to defend Renee.

It was one of those moments where it felt as if the world slows down suddenly. I saw the shock register in Leah's face and the smile she had been wearing all evening vanish. The glass in her hand began to tremble as she attempted to set it down, spilling over the table. Her eyes flew from mine to Michael and suddenly filled with tears. My hand flew to my mouth as if I was trying to push the words back in. I realised that we had been so caught up in the fact that Leah was not going to imprint that we had never discussed, never even thought of the fact that Michael would be available for imprinting from the moment he phased. Leah was beginning to shake violently and stood up, knocking over her chair "Leah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean, I'm sorry!" I pleaded but she just kept shaking her head and staring at Michael.

As she turned and fled, I spun towards Jake, "Stop her please!" I begged, Jake looked at me in confusion, Michael was now standing also, his eyes darting between the door and me "What the hell just happened?" he queried. I gestured in despair at Jake "Her…him…imprinting…fix this!!" His expression shifted with understanding and concern and he rushed towards the door, suddenly halting and turned around "Jake, please!" I begged, I felt horrible, evil almost and was desperate for him to remedy my mistake. "You" his tone was authoritative as he addressed Michael "Stay close to her". As the door banged behind him I felt as if it had slapped me in the face. Tears were pickling my eyes. How could I have been so cruel?

I put down some money on the table, probably too much money but I did not want to stay here any longer. As I walked outside I spotted a shoe near the door. I began to follow the trail of clothing, collecting the items carefully as I went, the tears stinging my eyes now. "Are you going to tell me what the hell just happened?" I could hear the thinly veiled anger in Michael's tone and gestured for him to stay some distance away. God everyone was going to hate me for this, it would be almost fitting to be mauled to death after treating my best friend so callously.

"When a wolf phases he is guided by the spirits to his one true mate, call it a supernatural dating agency if you will, they call it imprinting. Once the match is made, it is irrevocable for the wolf – she is his mate, his beloved, his wife, irrespective of anything". I began folding Jake's clothes neatly. I had found Leah's shoes but nothing else and I presumed it must have been shredded. "I told you before that Sam abandoned Leah" I looked at Michael then, "he was mated with someone else wasn't he" he stated. I nodded "We discovered that Leah can't imprint because she's female, it freed her and she was able to believe in happiness again". I trailed off, my soul felt wicked and I prayed that Jake was able to reason with her. "But now she's terrified I'm going to be just like him" he spat. "Why didn't she tell me? The things I could have told her, she'd know…she'd know she has nothing to fear".

I sighed "Until you phase, there's no certainty for her". I went to stand up and lost my footing, catching on to some wire fencing as the edge of the wooded area. "Don't touch that, it'll make you bleed" Michael said, the nurse tone in his voice suddenly evident. I looked at the faint pink line on my hand and looked back to him. He had to phase, I had to give him back to her, just as she had given Jake back to me. I reached out to the jagged edging of the wire fencing and closed my eyes, gripping it tightly. I felt the sharp pain as it pierced my skin and the waft of salty-rust hit my nose. I raised my hand over my head, not daring to look "Oh no, I'm bleeding!" I shouted loudly. "Bella what are you doing?" Michael asked furiously, moving towards me. I moved backwards, deeper into the wooded area. I knew I was taking a risk, but if Jake was right and someone was around, I needed them to help me, so that I could help Leah.

"I'm bleeding" I repeated loudly, waving my hand in the air. I was starting to feel faint now. "Bella!" Michael was getting angry, light shudders were rippling through his arms but he was trying to breathe through them, trying to keep in control, don't, please just give in, please. "Bella, what are you doing?" Michael asked again angrily, then his whole body stiffened "What the hell is that smell?" He gagged, the shaking suddenly becoming more and more violent. I began to scramble away from him, trying to put sufficient distance between us, but each time despite the violent shuddering he kept trying to step towards me. I suddenly realised that Jacob had issued an Alpha command before leaving, not just an instruction to stay close to me. Michael was now powerless to keep enough distance. Dammit! Why is there always a complication? I stopped trying to back away and Michael stopped moving forwards, his body was becoming a blur now. "I'm sorry" I whispered as I crouched down, trying to make myself as small as possible and wrapped my arms over my head to protect my face, visions of Emily flashing before my eyes.

I felt ice-cold hard arms encircle me as a vicious snarl tore through the air.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Ok, I know I was mean but hey, at least I haven't left you waiting long. It's short but it was either that or wait til Monday!. **

**Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from Twilight**

* * *

[JPOV]

"Leah!" I was running through the wooded area. It wasn't particularly dense so I was having to keep to the shadows. "Leah, don't make me Alpha your butt back here!" Her mind was on a loop. It was that moment that I had seen so many times before in her memories. The one were Sam does the whole 'it's not you, it's me' bit and walks away, but she's looping it, over and over again, mixing it all up with Michael's face.

"I can't do this anymore Jake, just let me go" she pleaded. I could sense Seth and Paul on their way to intercept us from the patrol but I kept them out of the conversation with her. "I can't deal with this again, please don't make me" she begged. "We don't know what's going to happen, you can't just give up at the first hurdle, that's not the Leah I know" I chided. "The Leah I know tries to get me to kill her just so I wake up, the Leah I know steps inside my mind when I've gone crazy and stands her ground, she makes grown wolves tremble and leeches run for cover". I felt a weak acknowledgement in her mind and pressed on. "So what, he might not imprint on you, so what?" I felt her mind flinch. "If he's worth it, he'd cut his eyes out rather than risk loosing you, and if he doesn't…well then he ain't worth you!" She laughed in spite of her anguish.

"What did that freak call you…do you remember?...Warrior woman. He might have been the sickest individual this side of crazy town, but he saw your strength right away. You are so much better than this". I came across her then, standing panting near a tree. I looked at her. "You don't NEED him, you want him sure, but he's not the reason you wake up in the morning and do what you do, so you cannot let him be the reason you fall". I pushed her with the side of my head. "Alright, cut it out" Leah snapped but there was no bite to her bark, "point made. Look I'm going to head home, I wrecked my clothes anyway. I just need a bit of space for a bit. Let Bella know I'm not mad at her. If I know that girl she'll have probably turned herself into a human sacrifice by now, just to try and apologise".

My heart stuttered, it literally skipped at least three beats. "Leah…I left her with Michael…"

"NO! GET AWAY FROM HER!" The roar tore through the barrier I had erected around my mind and Leah's.

"Michael??" Leah and I shouted at once. In that second I saw the flash of memory, Bella bleeding, Michael transforming, this…thing…wrapped around her.

"KILL KILL KILL" Leah, Paul and Seth's minds merged with singular intent as they barrelled towards the scene.

My heart was pounding as I forced my body to run as hard and fast as it could. My mind linked to Michael's, watching through his eyes. Whatever it was appeared in human form, shirtless, its body shining like marble in the moonlight. It was a leech without a doubt. But the Alpha in me recognised the posture. Whatever or whoever it was, it was not attacking her, not feeding from her. 'STILL' I commanded Michael, holding him in place and locking the pack communication away from him, their cries of 'KILL' fading as I did so.

I watched as he watched, taking in how its back was to him, using its entire body to shield her. It was unmistakeably male now, the width of it's back becoming more discernable now that Michael was still. I bounded towards them, less than a few hundred metres now, having left the others long behind me. As I approached it raised its head cautiously, its eyes narrowing as it took me in. I didn't recognise it, its dirty blond hair not what I was expecting. Its posture was unquestionably defensive, designed to afford my queen the best protection.

It raised its hands, backing away from Bella but placing itself between her and Michael. It clearly viewed Michael as the threat here. It looked me straight in the eye and immediately I registered the odd golden colour. 'STAND DOWN' I issued to all those who were running here. This was a Cullen then, and I had a treaty to enforce. Anger and hostility hit me in waves from Paul and Leah but I ignored them to tend to my queen.

I nosed her, she was covered with his stench but had not been bitten. Her eyelids fluttered as I licked her face gently. "I'm sorry" she mumbled. I rested my head against hers. What had she been thinking? I phased back and grabbed my jeans from the pile she had nearby. "Are you ok?" She nodded weakly "I'm sorry" she mumbled again. I looked at her in despair, "This was madness, do you get that? You could have been killed...or worse". I shot a glance at our visitor before returning my attention to Bella. Her hand had been wrapped up tightly, very tightly in fact, the tips of her fingers turning slightly blue. I realised it was a shirt wrapped around her hand. I looked from her hand to the shirtless leech in front of me.

He shrugged his shoulders "might be a bit too tight, I didn't want to take any chances". A little smile played over his lips and he looked to Bella "although Bella, I must say it is much easier to be around you now, that smell is quite off-putting". Bella stumbled to her feet, pulling herself up on my arm and rushed towards him.

"Jasper!" She exclaimed throwing her arms around him. I stood there and palm slapped my forehead in despair as Leah, Paul and Seth arrived. I shook my head. This sort of thing did nothing for my wolf street-cred. "Bella!" I hissed. Bella looked at me in surprise "Oh, where are my manners, sorry Jacob, this is Jasper, Jasper, this is Jacob. Jasper, that's Leah, Paul and ..oh hello Seth, that's Seth and the fuzzy one behind you is Michael".

I sighed, Paul was shaking his head. Seth just looked stunned, Leah and Michael...well they had other things to concern themselves with. "Bella, you are bleeding, and you are standing very close to a lee… a vampire. Could you at least try and see the danger in that?" I was getting very stressed at her apparent inability to even try and remain alive.

"Please, Alpha Black, let me reassure you, I mean Bella no harm." His manner was precise, military almost. "Who does?" I demanded. Jasper looked warily at Bella "perhaps we could continue this discussion elsewhere?" Bella's outrage was immediate, "Jasper Hale, how dare you keep secrets from me!" He put his hands up again submissively and his expression shifted, I smirked inwardly, he was clearly mated and used to dealing with female outbursts "No, Bella dear, I didn't mean it like that, honestly. But I would prefer not to have this discussion outdoors" he gestured meaningfully around him.

I wanted us out of this area quickly too, we were at risk of drawing too much human attention, as well as any further leech attention. "Get Michael back to La Push" I ordered Leah. I rummaged around the shredded clothing and located Michael's keys. I tossed them to Paul, who caught them as he phased out. As he slipped on his shorts I addressed him, "Take Bella to the hospital and get her hand sorted, take Seth with you". Bella went to protest but I shook my head "You can join us once you are stitched up". She pouted "but where will you be?"

I looked at Jasper, clearly I wasn't going to bring him on to the res. "We'll be at your dad's house when you are done". She nodded and hung her head sadly. I reached out and caught her chin, tilting it to me and kissed her lips gently. "I am mad at you. You put yourself in danger even after everything we'd talked about, but I still love you for eternity. I just need to unwind a little". She nodded sadly "I just wanted…" I cut her off, I couldn't hear her excuses now, my temper pushed too far "… to risk yourself so that I never get to walk you down the aisle and call you my wife, to get yourself killed so I never get to watch you push our child into this world and hold them in my arms, to be harmed so that I die an agonising punishing death as my mind collapses in on itself?" It was harsh and I knew my words hurt her, I could feel that acid dripping on my heart as the tears began to run down her face, her sobs getting louder. I picked up her wounded hand "when you cut your hand, you cut my heart". I held her hand against my heart as her cries blistered my ears, but I was angry with her, and disappointed.

Paul wrapped his arm around her and picked her up. Her sobs were muffled as he carried her away, but every one of them stung me. I loved her unconditionally, but that act had been pure madness.

I turned to Jasper, "I'll drive, you talk". He tossed me his car keys, I recognised the Lamborghini emblem. "Have you driven the Gallardo yet?" he smiled. For the second time this evening my heart stuttered.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Ok, so no one had guessed they'd be seeing Jasper, that's great! Love all those reviews, thank you thank you! I can't decide whether to give you a Leah POV next or carry on with Jake, so I'll let you decide.**

**Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from Twilight**

**

* * *

[JPOV]**

Ok, I'm purring. I don't care what anyone says about me right now! I know guys who would crawl through broken glass for a chance just to sit in this car and I'm driving it! I ran my hands lovingly over the steering wheel. Yeah it stunk to high heaven. I'd insisted on opening all the windows and putting the vents on full, but to be honest it could have been washed in pig crap and I still would have been here. I tapped the accelerator and felt the engine respond, my breath caught, oh she was a beautiful machine.

I could barely focus on why I was here "So spill", I twisted my face towards Jasper, tearing my eyes from the display. "Is this a solo trip?" I asked. Jasper ran his hand through his hand and leaned back in the passenger seat, putting one foot up on the dash. I couldn't help the gasp that left my mouth – sacrilege! He chuckled "I used to be like you, y'know. Part of me still is". I raised my eyebrows, likely, yeah right.

"I was a soldier, back in the human wars, damn good one too. It suited me, and I suited it. Everything makes sense when there are rules to follow". I nodded. He turned to me "You're a natural leader, no airs and grace, no agenda but the rules" I shrugged not exactly expecting a compliment from a leech. "Then I was turned for a vampire army, and I was outstanding at that. I mean, my name would cause vampires to quake before me". There was such bitterness to his tone I was really intrigued.

"But I'm guessing things didn't go to plan". I queried. "Damn straight they didn't. I find the woman of my dreams, one who brings me peace and calm after the war I was fighting is over, but the war inside me won't go away". I nodded, I could understand that feeling. He turned to me with a serious expression. "You do know that Bella is your mate don't you?" I hit the brake. "Excuse me?" The engine was ticking in anticipation of me pushing the accelerator but the wolf inside of me was ticking too, just waiting for the moment when this conversation got out of hand.

He spoke quietly, "She's your mate, she's not your lieutenant, it's not her war, it's not her rules to follow". I gripped the steering wheel. "She cut herself to incite a wolf to phase, when I had already told her there was a leech in the area". I glanced at him "No offence". He shrugged, "I call you worse". I breathed out heavily. "I see your point, but they don't, and to be honest, they shouldn't" he said calmly.

"We accept them for what they are, for the comfort they bring, and we suffer the pain they inflict without hesitation". He stared out the windscreen and I began to drive again. "I'm an empath". He said, 'Huh?' I replied. "Emotions – feel them, influence them, that sort of thing. Anyway, what you did back there, that was pretty much the emotional equivalent of beating her up". I felt my wolf go crazy, yet my body didn't react. The wolf was howling, screaming inside of me, desperate to attack but my body was as relaxed as a lazy Sunday at the beach. I swerved to the side of the road and wrenched open the door staggering out. The angry wolf inside my head was blurring my vision and I groped for the car trying to hold myself up.

"Interesting", he was crouched in front of me now. "What do you feel?" he asked. "Rage!" I spat at him. He sat down on the dirt in front of me, and remained motionless while I tried to calm myself down. There was no point acting on the anger, because sadly most of it was directed at myself. I knew I pushed it to far when I was talking to her. The imprint had me babbling on about babies, I mean where did that come from, we'd never even discussed that sort of stuff yet, and I'd even shoved the whole aisle and wife thing at her, despite the fact that it was a strained subject still. I was angry at her for disobeying me, yet this Jasper was right, she wasn't my lieutenant, who was I to give her orders? I slumped back against the car. I suck as a boyfriend. I'm a five-minute wonder in bed, can't understand Macbeth, lose my temper at her and then send her off in the arms of a guy who up til last week I wouldn't trust to hold my gym bag. I suck, I really do!

I looked sadly at him "Can we not talk about that anymore?" He nodded, "Probably best, with the level of serenity I was throwing at you, you should have been able to listen without issue, but it would seem my abilities are limited to the human side of you" he said in an intrigued tone. I picked myself and dusted down before getting back in the car. I didn't want to spoil the upholstery.

I leaned back in the seat and brought the baby back to life. "So, the knife in the door, are you the reason or the reaction?" I asked cautiously. Jasper chuckled "Oh, most definitely the reaction. Little theatrical for my tastes. You know fully well who was behind that. He's gone for now, he heard me coming, realised that Alice had caught sight of his little plan". I twisted my head "Fortune-cookie's your mate?" He smiled again and nodded. "So why'd you volunteer for the job, you don't feature much in the show n tell stories, apart from the 'trying to kill her on her birthday' one of course". I tried to keep my issues with that particular story in check, after all, his attempt did set their departure in motion. His expression darkened noticeably "I am what I am. I try but I find their desire to be so close to humans...difficult...to manage".

My brow furrowed. It was strange to think of them with different personalities, to be honest in my mind they just all merged in to one singular entity, a coven. He spoke again "She likes it, she likes the lifestyle, she loves the family, she even loves him because he can see inside her head and prove that she's not crazy". I smiled, now we were making some sense 'we suffer the pain they inflict'. Obviously his leech-mate wanted a life he didn't enjoy, but he enjoyed her and so...round and round we go.

He pushed back his hair "Do you have any idea what it's like to live with someone who can read your mind?" My eyebrows raised, so the discontent ran a little deeper than just the living around humans thing, good point to note. "But let me start from the beginning, it will make more sense. I was with the others, trying to help with the mess up at the Denali's". I tried to recall any info on these, but came up a blank. "The aftermath of Laurent's little party. Alice was beside herself that she hadn't seen what was going on, but she'd been so caught up in Edward's dramatic AWOLing I don't think it had registered. Anyway, Rose returned from her hunting trip and Edward immediately caught all of Laurent's thoughts about Bella".

I gripped the steering wheel hard, I'd put that sick freak out of my mind. "Don't worry, he paid and will continue to pay for eternity". I exhaled and caressed the wheel, hoping that I hadn't marked it. "So Edward began to demand information from Rose. Had she seen her, what was she doing, was Laurent telling the truth about her loosing her virginity". I gulped slightly, what the hell? Was my sex life a topic of super natural discussion now? Jasper turned to me with a serious expression, "Yes it is a big deal, and Edward definitely thinks so. I actually believe that he thought there was a chance she'd remain a virgin for the rest of her life. He never said as much but I suspect he wanted to perfect his control, so that he could drink from her without danger. I think he would have kept her human, kept her his and so...perfection!" I shuddered, I didn't know what was worse, the thought of him loving her, or the thought of him wanting her as his own personal walking blood bag.

Jasper sighed "but then there was me, a great big liability to his plan. He couldn't get rid of me, because he needed Alice, at least until Bella was old enough to leave Charlie. That screw up with the Phoenix business really made him reliant on Alice. Anyway, move us all, sort himself out, swoop back in and sweep her away". He shrugged nonchalantly as if it was an everyday occurrence. I thought for a second, God perhaps it was. I shuddered to my core.

Jasper continued "But, back to the story, so he's raging on and on at Rose, wanting to know what she knows. But...and here's my favourite part of the story...he can't read her thoughts!" Jasper was virtually bouncing in the seat with glee. His eyes were wide with excitement. "So he goes off in a big hissy fit, threatening this and shouting that, hence knife in the door and all that drama". Jasper made a 'whatever' gesture and it seemed that he had very little time for the behaviour of the man I despise more than anyone. "So Carlisle gets all excited and starts trying to figure it out. So then we get the whole story from Rose and discover your involvement, it all starts to make sense."

Jasper looked at me expectantly, like I had a clue what was going on. I creased up my forehead. "So you came here because..." I asked evasively, not wanting to to look like an idiot if I was missing something glaringly obvious. I pulled up outside Charlie's house but there was no sign of Paul. I leaned back and shut my eyes "Paul?" I whispered. I felt the wave of sickness as his mind locked to mine "What?" the angry voice sliced my consciousness. I looked through his eyes and saw my queen huddled up on the bed at home. She was fast asleep but even asleep I could see the worry on her face and the tracks of the dried tears on her face. I sighed. "She cried herself to sleep at the hospital so I just brought her home". I could feel his fury towards me, his protectiveness of her was so reassuring. "I'll be home soon" I whispered, I broke the connection and shook my head.

"It's you" Jasper said excitedly. I was still nauseous from talking to Paul and I couldn't make any sense of it. "You're the key. It's the perfect solution, and the best thing is they'll never have to know so it won't make Alice unhappy or feel she has to choose". I was really getting lost "What are you talking about?". He turned to me, his expression confused "Haven't you been listening? Do you know what vampires call me?" He looked at me and I shrugged, and he calls the other one theatrical. "I'm known as the God of War, people are terrified of me". I nodded, not knowing quite what to say. "Do you know what Edward calls me - unworthy, despicable, idiotic. I can fight any warlord and defeat them, but a pussy little fool whips me every time just because he can read my mind. I cannot take it anymore, but I cannot hurt her by asking her to leave them."

"When Rose came here and cut a deal with you over hunting Laurent, Carlisle thinks she somehow became part of your army, she switched her allegiance from the Cullens, to you." I took a sharp breath, and remembered what she had said before leaving, it hadn't been about the hunt, it had been the bit afterwards, the bit that she perhaps hadn't been honest with leech doctor about, when she offered me her card should I ever need any help regarding taking out one of their own. Could Jasper be talking sense, had I brought a leech into my pack? Jasper cut into my thoughts "Carlisle feels that as a shape-shifter, and more specifically as the Alpha, you would automatically be protected from the special abilities a vampire might process, hence why I couldn't calm your wolf side earlier, even though I can calm your human side. Carlisle suggested it might be a supernatural levelling of the playing field, so to speak. He also thinks it's probably why Bella's mind couldn't be accessed by Edward, if she was destined to be your mate".

I felt like my mind was going into overload. It made unmistakeable sense, the whole it doesn't work on us stuff, and Bella had not been able to explain why Edward couldn't read her mind, but if she was always meant to be mine, if she was born to be mine. My heart began to race, mine, I wanted her, needed her, right now, mine, Bella. I thought back to Paul's image of her huddled and tear stained. I couldn't stay here any more, I needed her in my arms. I had to tell her I was an ass and didn't deserve her.

Jasper chuckled "Go to her, take the car, I'll be at the house when you are ready to talk". I barely registered his movements as he got out of the car. He was round at the driver window in a second "but I need you to consider my offer seriously Alpha Black, I think you and I could both benefit greatly". I looked at him confused, my mind racing with thoughts of Bella "Huh?" I managed to articulate. He reached out his hand and I jumped as its coldness burnt into my skin "I want to join your army".


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Ok, apologies for disappearing, an evil battle with my ex was so soul-destroying that I didn't have any positivity to give to writing. I have no idea how this chapter will sound as my head is still a bit over the place but I wrote it this morning and have uploaded it straight. Fingers crossed, hope it doesn't suck but if I didn't get a chapter rolling I was in danger of loosing this story completely!**

**Big shouts to those who have reviewed and PM'd and tried to keep my spirits up in the bad times, I know you don't know me as a person, but taking the time to be so kind was really really sweet.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and My Name belongs to McLean!**

* * *

I leaned back on the pillow, watching the sunlight dance through the gaps in the curtain. I loved the way it curled across his back. I sat watching, memorised, noting how each breath my beautiful Alpha took moved through his body. I traced my fingers through his hair ever so gently. I didn't want him to wake yet. Part of me felt like this was still the dream I had just woken from, but the low throb in my bandaged hand was testimony enough to the fact that my crazy life was unmistakeably real.

Jake shifted slightly in his sleep, burying his head deeper into the pillow, such a starfish. I loved how he looked when he was truly peaceful. His face was healed now, no hint of the night marring it anymore. I winced as the memory assaulted me. I had woken in this same bed, cold and alone. The sound of furniture tumbling and shouts dragging me from my pitiful nightmares. I had run, stumbling into the lounge to see Paul's fist connecting fiercely with my beautiful angel's jaw. I had screamed as his blood was spilt. I had been so confused, why were they fighting? Why was Jake letting Paul hurt him when he could have frozen him with a single thought? I screamed again as Jake turned in my direction and I could see that it was clearly not the first blow that Paul had dealt him, his eye was bleeding from the brow, blood was trickling from his nose and now his lip was hanging ragged.

I had watched in horror as Jake had dropped to his knees at my feet, I could still feel how he had grabbed hold of my waist, wrapping himself around me like a drowning man holds a tree trunk in a flood. I had been so ready to beg forgiveness, to apologise and try to placate him with his favourite food. I had been unable to fathom what this was, what they were fighting about. I had wrapped one arm around Jake's head, holding it as fiercely as Jake held me, and reached out my other hand to Paul, my tears were blurring my vision. They had been getting on so well, the sight of them fighting nearly destroyed me. All I had wanted was for them all to be happy. 'Stop' I had begged him, sobs racking my body.

Jake hadn't moved, hadn't raised his head at all. Doubt had ripped through me, and for a terrifying moment I had stilled, was he leaving me? Was the next thing he said going to be one of those lines about me not belonging in his world either? I had felt the hole in my chest open in one single tear. He had moved then, so fast I nearly lost my balance 'NO!' That single word had been delivered with power it felt as if the wind itself had paused to listen. His cuts were already beginning to seal as he had stared intently into my eyes. He had put his fingers on my heart, tracing them gently against me 'Mine!' he had growled.

Paul had faded away, I hadn't even heard the door close but he suddenly wasn't with us anymore. The house was silent apart from the panting sounds of our breaths. He was staring and I was lost. What was happening? I looked down at his fingers, his warm safe hands. I had exhaled sharply as he had picked me up, carrying me to the bathroom without words. I had sat silently as he had run the water and peeled off my clothes. I didn't know what was happening, and I had been afraid to speak in case the bubble suddenly broke and I heard the words I feared the most. He had lifted me into the bath and bathed me like a child, it hadn't been seductive but it had been so tender, so caring. He had wrapped me in a towel and carried me back to the bedroom. I remembered how he had paused to pull the comforter that I had been wrapped in off the bed and tossed it into the bathroom as well.

He had sat back on the bed and pulled me against his chest, and sat there quietly towelling my hair. His voice had sounded so broken when he finally spoke 'I don't know how to be what you need me to be. I don't know how to love you right. Each time it's something big, I just get so confused and what makes sense when it's in my head just comes out all messed up.' I had rubbed my hand along his arm, I had wanted to tell him it was all my fault, that he was perfect and I wasn't, but something inside of me stopped. That wasn't it at all. He wasn't perfect, what he had said had hurt me, hurt me a lot, and fighting with Paul, that wasn't a perfect thing either. I had been wrong, and stupid, and taken a massive risk that in all reality should have got me killed, but he had been wrong to take his own fears out on me and try to make me feel guilty. I had come to a crashing conclusion, we were both wrong, and that was ok. Nobody needed to be perfect, nobody needed to say the exactly right thing, nobody needed to read each other's mind and say exactly what the other person needed to hear, we were just ourselves, imperfect, human, real.

I had reached out and pulled his lips to mine, smothering his objections. I wasn't trying to make him feel better, for once this was about what I wanted. I had hugged him fiercely. 'Show me how sorry you are' I had said with a boldness that I hadn't felt before. I had realised that he needed to make me feel better, and I needed to accept that I needed it too. I stopped holding on to my feeling of unworthiness. Jake wanted me by his side, I was worth his love. Jake had rolled me onto my back, kissing my neck gently, tracing his lips in a burning blaze that led agonisingly down my body. He had pulled me gently to the edge of the bed and knelt in front of me. He had savoured me and explored me until I was screaming his name and begging for him to complete me, to take me. As I thought on it now I was so greatly relieved that Sports Night had seen Billy tucked up safely at Charlie's. The words I had said, the things I had shouted had me blushing. I didn't cuss really in normal life as I thought it was crude and unnecessary but I had said words I don't think I have ever spoken before, the intensity of what Jake had done just too much for normal language. I had begged for him but each time he had simply murmured that 'tonight is all about you' before causing me to collapse into bliss again.

I had finally pleaded for him to stop, the pleasure too much for me to bear anymore, my body too sensitive to take anymore. He had crawled into bed pulling me back into his arms 'is that sorry enough?' he had asked with the smile I lived for. I had nodded, unable to find the words. We weren't perfect, but we were trying and for now that was all that mattered. I smiled to myself again as I looked at him now, I loved him unconditionally, and his errors simply made him human and so I loved them too, especially if he made up for them like that.

I heard the sound of the back door and wondered who it was, perhaps Michael was back. However, the fact that my bedroom door just flung open made it clear that it was in fact the least inhibited member of the wolf pack. "Bella!" Leah squealed as she launched herself onto the bed, wrapping me in a killer hug. I realised that pointing out that only a sheet was maintaining my modesty was irrelevant to her and so simply hugged her back. She released me from the hug and shoved Jake's leg out of the way so she could sit down. In any other scenario this would have been outrageous, but it occurred to me that she probably had seen Jake naked many more times than me in fact. I pulled the sheet over him anyway out of my own sense of decency. Jake made a grumbling sound and rolled over to the side of the bed with his back to us.

"So?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. Last night had been the big night, the first phase and judging by the fact that she wasn't in hysterical tears I had my fingers crossed for some big news. "I have got so much to tell you, but first we have to get over to mine as my parents' are throwing a huge pack barbeque this afternoon and you are so not leaving me alone with my mother right now". I took a deep breath, "because?" she was killing me, and she knew it, oh I get it, this was her way of getting back at me for yesterday. Leah jumped off the bed, threw a shirt at me and laughed, "two minutes, then I'm dragging you out of here however you are dressed".

As she closed the door, Jake lifted his head and gave me a lazy smile, "Mmmm barbeque". I swatted his arm "Are you going to tell me what happened with them?" I was dying to know. Jake shrugged as he rolled over "Wasn't paying attention to them, to busy with a certain little danger magnet, you'd better hurry, you've only got a minute left and I don't want the neighbours catching sight of any of my goodies". He reached out to me and caught my mouth in a breath-taking kiss, his hand running across his 'goodies' as he referred to them. I felt my desire spike, as pleasurable as his endeavours last night had been, I had an almost craving need to feel him inside of me, to feel completed by him. I leant into the kiss, but Leah banged on the door "20 seconds" argh! I threw Jake's shirt around me and reached into the drawer for some panties and sweatpants, high-class this look was not. His lips touched mine again for a brief second before I felt Leah grab me and throw me over her shoulder. She bumped her fist against Jake's "Sorry Jake, need to borrow this one for girl talk, food'll be ready at one thirty". Jake lay back chuckling away "Make sure you're mom keeps a pie for me as you're taking my chef away before she feeds me breakfast".

Jake blew me a kiss as I was carted away huffing. But I acknowledged that my put-outness was mostly for show. I had been so terrified that I had pushed them all too far last night and that come this morning I would be standing all alone having been pushed out of yet another supernatural existence, that being carried around like a sack of potatoes in inappropriate clothing seemed like a small concern. Leah plopped me onto the back of the bike, stuck the helmet on my head and jumped on. As we roared up to Leah's I could see Harry and Seth decorating the yard. This was not just any barbeque, this was a full on garden party type event. There was definitely big news being announced, come on girl, spill the gossip.

As we walked in I was grabbed in a huge floury hug by Sue. She dusted off the flour marks she left on me and I saw that the smile she was wearing was almost stretching her face in two. There was definitely news. "Ok smiley happy people, somebody needs to tell me before my brain explodes", I grabbed Leah's arm as she spun around next to Sue. "I can't take it anymore, tell me, tell me please, he did, didn't he?" Leah stopped spinning and gave a huge grin "Yeah, he did!" I never thought the moment would come when I would surrender so completely to a screeching female cliché but here it was. We each grabbed each others arms and then the three of us hopped up and down screaming royally. Tears began to run down my face but they were happy happy tears. Finally, at last Leah would know the happiness that had been denied to her for the last few years.

In the middle of the screaming Michael wandered down the stairs, he leaned against the rail and smiled. I broke free from Sue's grasp and rushed over to hug him too. He picked me up and hugged me gently. "You seriously are crazy Bella, but I understand why you did it, thank you" he whispered in my ear. He set me back down and gave Leah a kiss on the forehead. It reminded me exactly of how Jake kisses me, that tender adoration, that look, it's just perfect. "Now you've done the wake up call, I'm going to head down and see my Alpha and try and get some stuff sorted". He kissed Leah on the lips and they were both engulfed in another floury hug as Sue began to cry again.

As she extricated herself from the flour, Leah rolled her eyes at me. "See what I mean?" and dragged me up the stairs. We flopped onto her bed. "So…please I need details, long beautiful romantic details" I begged, I needed to hear the story in its full perfection, not the watered down for the bunch of guys version. Leah made a big theatrical arm gesture "Ok, so you know the part where the crazy girl gets herself almost killed?" she threw me an evil stare and I hung my head a little, peeking at her with a pout. She rolled her eyes again "anyway, so I was a little bit behind Jake in the run, well actually quite a way, that guy has some speed when it comes to you almost deading yourself again. So I'm just reacting to the smell, kill the leech, that's all that's rolling in my head, then as I'm almost there and Jake's got the situation under control it's like, oh crap, I can't let him see me, I can't do this. So I'm hanging near the tree line out of his sight. I can hear him in my head and he's begging me to come to him, because he's all still Alpha locked and frozen, but I'm stressing out completely. So then you get carted away and the leech and Jake head off." I raised my hand to stop her "Do you know what was said?" Leah shook her head "Sorry I was a bit caught up in my own drama".

I nodded for her to continue, "ok, so I'm near the trees but then Jake passes the order to take Michael back to the res." Leah stopped suddenly as the door opened and Seth stuck his head in with a wave "Are you going to help with all these stupid decorations or what?" he grinned. "Seth!" I wailed, what was with everyone and interrupting this story, I wanted out-pouring of love and declarations of eternity. Leah stood and turned him out, "No, Bella and I are having a girly morning, go and get her a muffin then I'm going to get her dressed". I looked at Leah in alarm "Dressed, isn't it just a barbeque?" Thoughts of Bella dress-up raced through my head. Leah turned to me with a smile. "Look, I want to tell you the rest of the story but hear me out, when I was phased in with Jake and he was thinking of you I caught snippets of a song that set my mind in motion. Now, I want to say thank you to the both of you for everything you've done in terms of helping me and Michael get together" Leah gripped my arm suddenly "although there won't be a repeat performance of the kill me now scenario will there?" She looked at me sternly and I shook me head, was anyone going to let me forget that?

"He had that 'My Name' song in his head and it got me to thinking, what do you think about Henna drawings?" I looked at her blankly. She grabbed a couple of books from the shelf and flipped them open. "Some cultures use Henna as a skin decoration, a bit like a temporary tattoo, but a bit more delicate, more artistic. I was thinking…" she faded off as she grabbed some paper and began sketching, "I have this top that would look perfect, and then…" she sketched out an image and my eyes grew wide. I took the paper from her and stared. It was perfect, it was a little raunchy but it was perfect, it was…it was the song exactly. "Do you think you can do it?" Leah beamed, "Yep, but it'll take some time, that's why I needed you first thing, go have a quick wash and then we'll get started and I can tell you everything that happened".


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews and PMs, you guys are outstanding. I'm going to try and get the updates a bit more frequent again now that life has settled down a bit. Thanks again for being patient!**

**Disclaimer: It all belongs to SM.**

* * *

I hopped out of the shower and padded back to Leah's room. She had laid a large towel on the bed. "Okay" Leah had her military agenda tone on, "sweatpants on, lie down on your stomach and then do not move while I get the outlines set". I nodded and obliged, I was desperate to hear the story and didn't want anything else to delay it.

"So where was I, oh yeah, you were carted off, they headed off. So anyway my grand plan was pretty much of the 'don't let him see me' variety". I snorted at this, I could envisage Leah playing a life long game of hide and seek. Leah made a huffing sound "well talk about being thrown in at the deep end, I didn't exactly have time to mastermind anything. So long and short of it, I ran". She paused and began applying whatever the stuff was to my back, the small brush tickled slightly but I was quickly getting used to the sensation.

"So I'm running and he's running, but of course I'm faster and more used to it. But he starts to get the hang of it, so I'm having to push harder, and all the time he up in my head begging me to stop, to look at him. The worst thing is I can't stop all the things I'm thinking of, seeing Sam leave me, imagining Michael doing the same, I mean it's horrible, I don't want him to know these things. It's like, remember when I phased when they attacked my house and all of your fears came tumbling out of my head and into Jake's, that horrible feeling of exposure". I reached out for her hand and squeezed it, I knew she still felt guilty for that incident and the fight we had afterwards, and I could imagine how raw it must have felt having someone have access straight into your worst feelings of self-doubt.

She went back to her drawing. "But then, it was like the weirdest thing happened. All of a sudden I'm seeing these memories, I mean it's like they are my memories but not if that makes sense. I'm seeing things I've done, but from another person's perspective. It's all like, what the…? Then I realise that he's showing me that he's seen me before, different times, different places. I had to stop, I mean it was like seriously weird, I mean I would have noticed if somebody had been stalking me, especially such a gorgeous somebody". I moved suddenly to sit up and felt Leah's crushing strength as she held me down. "I told you to lay still!" "I knew it" I gasped, "in the hospital, I knew he called you by your name, that's why I thought you'd imprinted". "Yeah", Leah giggled and she released the pressure on my shoulder "poor guy really thought he'd lost his marbles that day. That's why we came back here to talk to dad rather than heading straight back to you guys, but anyway, you're getting me all out of synch".

I settled back to allow Leah to continue. "So it turns out, well so far as dad can work out, when Michael took the meds each time he nearly phased, they basically they only worked on his body, but the wolf part of his mind was free to do what dad called 'a spirit walk', now I don't really know too much about this stuff, you have to be an Elder to be allowed to know the ins and outs about it, apparently it's quite dangerous stuff and there are whole heaps of rules about it. But of course Michael thinks he's gone completely schizo and imagining this whole other life, but dad thinks that his wolf spirit was essentially being guided home".

Leah paused to concentrate on part of the outlining and I tried to take it in, what it must have felt like, your spirit wandering to the place it's going to call home, and then waking up in your old life again. No wonder he'd taken to life on the res so comfortably, if he'd been drawn here over and over again. Leah began to speak again "So he's trying to get me to listen to him, he keeps on saying 'it's always been you, sometimes I felt like you might even hear me when I speak to you, that you might even feel me when I reach out to comfort you". Leah breathed out heavily "So I brought the memory up, that morning in your kitchen when I thought I'd gone crazy and was hearing things, and feeling things". I tried to twist again to look at her "What morning? You didn't say anything".

Leah huffed again, pushing me back into place "Well, duh, thought I was crazy didn't I? Look, I was sitting in your kitchen before we started school and I was having a bit of a 'feeling sorry for myself', then I felt someone hugging me and saying these calming words, but when I looked around, poof, nobody". Leah shifted positions and carried on "So I'm playing my side of the memories and he's showing me his side and I start to realise that whatever this is, whether there is going to be imprinting or not, that he deserves the chance. I mean in his head he really believed that he was going to imprint, so it wasn't fair on him not to let him try, but Bella, I was shaking like a leaf. By the time I could feel him in front of me, I was so close to crying. I could see through his eyes that he's trying to look at me but I almost couldn't put my head up".

She sat back on the bed, clearly caught up in the memory "It was like bam, boom, fireworks and lightening all at the same time. From the second that I looked at him, I could see the imprint right through his eyes, I watched him seeing his future with me, I saw us running together, I saw me asleep in his arms, I saw him kneeling in front of me kissing my huge pregnant belly, I saw him watching me feeding twins, I saw us for lifetimes and lifetimes, Bella it was indescribable".

"Okay, you can move now". I sat up holding the towel over me and hungrily devoured the two muffins that were on the plate near the bed. Leah picked up a mirror and angled it so I could see in the main one. "How does that look? I can do the colouring in once you've got the top on so you can sit up". I looked in the mirror and giggled, "Wow, do you really think he'll like it?" A huge grin crept across Leah's face and she nodded eagerly.

"So did you just come straight out and tell your parents?" Leah smiled, "That was Michael's idea, personally I was more interested in some quality time with my imprint, but I think he needed to redeem himself to mom, so anyway, we head back here. Now mom keeps a couple of dresses in a box near the back door, and some shorts as well, you know for if Seth or I get caught out. So we head up to the house and I'm slipping on my dress when the light goes on and mom comes out with a face like thunder. Now it had taken Michael a bit longer to phase back, it always does at the beginning, so he's just standing there butt naked with the shorts in his hand. Mom starts screaming for dad to bring the shotgun, and she's going on about she warned him."

I clapped my hand over my mouth, I could completely imagine Sue loosing her temper. After the show-down at Jake's earlier in the week, Sue had certainly established herself as not to be messed with. "But dad comes out and is all calm and 'Michael where are your clothes?' So he's holding Seth's shorts in front of him and shrugging his shoulders, 'they got ruined when I phased'. By this time dad's got his arm around mom, and he's saying everything all really slowly, 'you phased, and you have seen Leah, and…' and by this time mom's face has changed from thunder to a kind of baffled terror but then Michael just rushes up to her, throws his arms around her and says 'Hello Mom'. Then it's all crying and 'Michael put some clothes on' and hugging and well you saw the rest of it this morning."

Leah began to help me into the top, being careful not to smudge the outline. Just then there was a gentle tap at the door. "Can I come in?" I heard Michael say and the grin on Leah's face was priceless. He came in, kissed Leah and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. "So what are you to up to?" Leah gestured to me and I turned so that my back was facing Michael. Suddenly he let out a deep throaty growl which made me jump. I turned back, he was panting slightly, looking rather flush, "Sorry, I'm sorry, please don't think that..." he trailed off turning to Leah "I'm sorry, it's just…" Leah smiled and came over to him "I know, it kind of does something to you doesn't it". Michael nodded and gave Leah a melting kiss that had me turning away to give them some privacy.

He cleared his throat several times, "My apologies Bella, I seem to find the idea very nice". I laughed "So you think Jake will like it then? I mean if Leah was wearing one for you what would you think?" Michael turned very red, grabbed the towel that I had been lying on and held it over himself "I think I'll jump in the shower now, nice cold shower, excuse me". Leah and I burst out laughing as he scurried out. "Well we know what he's getting for Christmas then" I hooted.

Leah sat down behind me and began colouring in, she was using a bigger brush so it didn't seem to take as long. When Michael returned after his shower he seemed more composed, but I noticed that he didn't look towards the design anymore. He sat on the floor by Leah's feet and held out a clump of damp hair. "Time to lose it now isn't it". Leah nodded and smiled and took out a large pair of scissors, she made short work of cutting it all off and then took out some clippers and trimmed the rest neatly. I watched in awe as the final part of the transformation took place, he now looked like his pack brothers.

"Did you get everything sorted with Jake?" Leah asked cheerfully. Michael nodded and gave her a little push "and you said he was going to bite me". Leah smiled, "I just said he might that's all". "Hold on" I cut in, "what biting?" I was concerned, why would Jake want to bite Michael? "Leah shushed me, "Well Bella, the first phase is not normally so busy" she stared at me pointedly "so the new wolf will normally submit immediately to the Alpha and pledge himself, or if the new wolf is not taking their phasing very well, the Alpha may need to force them to submit". Oh, I thought to myself, that biting, I remembered that naughty episode in the woods and the feeling of biting Jake's neck. I blushed. Leah's eyes widened, "Anyway" she said, rolling her eyes at me "dad wasn't sure if everything was as it should be because of the leech presence and a certain disaster queen, so he suggested Michael should head over to Jake's and make sure everything was done right".

Michael ran his hand over his short hair "this is going to take some getting used to", he smiled and kissed Leah again. "I'm going to help dad with the grill". I leaned forward on my elbows smiling, everything was turning out perfectly.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: Ok, I'm back in my flow, the story is clear in my head again, let's go! I want to offer a big thank you to those who take the time to review. Some 376 people have this story on alert, and roughly 30 of you take the time to give me some encouragement. So to those people I want to give a little something back. To every story there is a back story, here we have the good guys story being told, but there is a bad guy waiting in the wings and so as a thank you, each reviewer will get pieces of the bad guy's story. It's not going to go into the main story so it's not a preview. I'll send these to you if you have PM enabled. Thank you again, you are the wind beneath my wings!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is SM's.**

* * *

I had listened to the sounds of everything getting ready and watched out the window, but Leah was adamant that I needed to make a grand entrance once everyone had arrived for maximum effect. We settled for styling each others hair to keep us busy. As Leah doesn't have very much I wound it into little pin curls with the tongs, luckily for her she's a wolf so the fact that I accidentally burnt her twice wasn't held against me. I'm not sure anyone else in the world would have allowed me near their head with a heated implement.

Leah swept my hair up into an elaborate rolling thing, which I swear she called a 'chig-nog' but that might just have been my general ignorance of all things stylistic. As I eased myself into the pair of slim-fit jeans that had miraculously appeared from my drawer, I stopped to take in the work Leah had done. The black satiny top was cut loose with wafty sleeves so it wasn't noticeable from the front that I wasn't wearing a bra, but the back tied at the top and bottom with some ribbony bits that Leah had securely fastened so that I wouldn't accidentally come undone. This left about a 10cm gap straight down my spine.

I looked at her work; Leah really had the gift of style. Each of the letters was written in a clear yet elegant script, the lighter colouring of the henna worked well against my pale skin, a dark colour would have looked harsh and possibly a bit trashy, but the warm honey colour of the henna perfectly picked out the word. As I looked over my shoulder in the mirror I smiled to myself. I wondered if he would realise what I meant. When I had initially looked at the sketches Leah had showed me, I'd thought of nothing more than making Jake happy. If I was to judge by Michael's reaction, this would definitely appeal to his wolf. But as I'd sat here getting dressed I started to realise that it was more than that.

The distress and confusion I had felt that day when Harry had talked about the beloved ceremony had all faded away. Now when I looked into the face of the man I loved I wanted nothing more than to belong to him, be marked as his, to be known as his. I felt pride and strength and so many different things. Although he'd made me cry last night when he was angry at me, the things he'd said, about walking down an aisle, about being his wife, I couldn't deny that I didn't want them too. I still wanted him to find the ceremony that was rightfully his, as the Alpha, but I did want that. Having seen Leah's bliss this morning, how perfect and right and unmistakeable it was, who was I to snub the gift I had been given? I was his mate, and as the leader of his people he deserved to be able to say that with pride.

I twisted one more time, watching the letters as they formed that perfect name, the name that would soon be mine 'Black'. I was interrupted by a huge rumble that sounded like a racetrack had suddenly opened right next to Leah's house. As I flew to the window I could see Jake and Paul climbing out of a ridiculously expensive looking sports car. At first I was pleased, judging by the laughter their fight last night was far behind them but then I was bewildered. The car looked so out of place amongst the functional vehicles that were the norm in the res, it looked like it would be far more in keeping outside of the Cullen's house. I nearly choked as the realisation hit me – Jasper! There was clearly a whole heap of filling in to be done and I intended to drill it out of Jake as soon as possible, after letting him enjoy his little surprise. The wolves had swarmed all over the car of course, letting their true boyish nature show, until I heard Sue banging the dinner gong, which had them flying into the yard just as quick.

Michael tapped on the door. "Will you allow me to escort you downstairs?" Leah was on his arm and I rolled my eyes as I stopped her to pick out what looked like some stray feathers from her hair. I did not even want to know what she had been up to while I had finished getting dressed. She giggled and Michael at least had the decency to drop his eyes bashfully to the floor. I took Michael's free arm and headed downstairs, feeling a little bit like a fairytale princess. As we went to the back door I could see most of the guys already sat at the tables munching on huge platefuls. I spotted Jake on the other side of the yard talking to Billy and Harry next to the grill; he was holding a plate in his hands but had clearly got distracted whilst filling it up as it didn't hold very much yet.

As we stepped outside a huge cheer went through all of them. I stayed on the step and let Michael and Leah walk into the middle of the yard. The guys were hooting and cat-calling, Sue and Kim were clapping with tears running their faces. I stood smiling proudly as they were mobbed with hugs and loving shoves from all of the pack. My eyes met with Jake's across the yard and my heart soared, he looked so happy. The others settled down and got back to working on their plates of food. Several were busy with some unruly joking with Michael. Leah walked back towards me and gripped my hand as I stepped down the stairs. As I began to move across the yard the guys on the table nearest to the house could see what I was wearing and Quil flew to his feet, the growl rumbling deep from his stomach. I saw as Jake's expression turned to concern but Leah continued to steadily move me towards him.

Paul was the next to catch sight of it and he let out a howl, quickly followed by growls and howls from the others around them. I paused, Jake was alarmed now and they were close to spoiling my surprise. I turned suddenly and theatrically raised my finger to my lips signalling for them to 'shush', and then I cheekily turned my head back over my shoulder to see if Jake had noticed.

Jake stood as if frozen, his eyes were wide and I could see the tremble running through his body. The plate that had been in his hands shattered with a loud crack, causing the food to tumble to the floor. I smiled, more important than food, now that was certainly a compliment from a wolf. He turned into a blur as he moved behind me in a split second. Suddenly his heat was pressed against me as his finger traced down my back. I could feel his breath coming in raspy pants. The low rumbling sound sounded something between a growl and a purr. He licked his lips.

I whispered quietly to him "I'm ready, call me wife, call me mythical tribal equivalent of, call me whatever, as long as you call me Bella Black". Jake tilted his head back and let out the biggest howl I have ever heard. I thanked my lucky stars Charlie wasn't here as I'm not sure how I would have explained that one. His lips crashed down on mine and he pulled me into the tightest hug I think my body could tolerate. When he eventually released me, Leah came over and hugged around us both. She leaned her head to Jake, "My way of saying thank you to you both, for everything". Jake ruffled her hair affectionately. Leah scoffed "Hey, I got multiple burns for this do, don't go spoiling it".

Jake didn't let me get off his lap for the rest of the afternoon. I think partly because the design had induced a degree of possessiveness, but also partly because it had had a distinct impact on his lower region that he didn't want to advertise. So as it was, we sat on the ground, me in Jake's lap, Leah on Michael's, Kim on Jared's, possibly all for the same reason, but I didn't want to dwell on that fact, it seemed that the imprinted wolves had already decided on their Christmas lists. The others lounged around chatting and laughing, whilst Harry and Billy told stories of things gone by and Sue busied herself making sure everyone ate pie.

As the sun began to dip, the conversation moved to pack business and new rotas now that Michael had joined. It was agreed that as soon as he felt he was stable, which Harry felt would probably be quite soon as apparently imprinted wolves have less issue with unexpected phasing as they can be calmed better, he could start thinking about work again. Harry seemed very interested as to whether Michael wanted to go back to Forks Hospital and there were lots of glances between him and Billy that the others didn't seem to pick up on. Or perhaps it was just that I was still somewhat suspicious about the secrets issues and maybe I was imagining it.

Jake briefly stopped stroking my back, something he had been doing all afternoon. "I will be going to meet with the leech soon". There were hisses and uncomfortable growls going round the group. "Paul I would like you to come with me". Several faces turned in surprise towards Paul. I admit that it didn't seem the most straightforward choice to me, Paul had always had the greatest issue with the Cullen's. Even Paul himself seemed slightly baffled, although proud. "And I presume you would like to come to?" Jake tickled my side and I nearly squealed with glee, then remembered the company and settled for an enthusiastic nod. Paul seemed to understand it better then and nodded knowingly toward Jake with a smile.

Leah spoke up "Are you sure you don't want me to come?" She looked towards me with concern. Jake reached out and squeezed her hand. "Remember, you are all I have at school, enjoy your evening". Michael wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "Dad, what are you up to this evening?" Jake turned to Billy. Billy glanced towards Harry again, I definitely wasn't imagining it. "Harry and I have some business to discuss with Charlie, Harry was going to do some fish fry here, and perhaps you four could join us later on?" Billy gestured towards me and Jake, Leah and Michael. Harry nodded sagely. I raised my eyebrow at Billy. Something was definitely brewing, and now that my dad was involved I was even more concerned.

Sue came up with what had to be the last pie, if I ate a single mouthful I would probably just burst into an Apple flavoured puddle. Yet, somehow each of the guys and Leah managed to fit another slice in, although Seth did begin to groan and rub his stomach pitifully. Embry laughed, "You keep forgetting you're not fully grown yet!" Seth rolled over with another groan then froze suddenly. All heads turned and the laughter died away as a figure emerged around the side of the house.

I heard the shocked whisper as it passed Leah's lips "Sam". I was surprised, it was as if he had just disappeared from my memory, I hadn't really thought of him once during the barbeque. Sam's expression was dark and fierce as he took us all in and the tremor set in as his locked eyes on Leah as she sat in Michael's lap. Michael had moved fast, leaping upright, his eyes narrowed as he stalked towards Sam. Despite the fact that they had never met, the resemblance between the two men was striking now that Michael had cut his hair. I felt Jake move me off him swiftly yet gently as he rose also. Sam stared at Michael as if he was a trespasser on his property. Michael's voice was laced with anger as he addressed Sam "You are not welcome here today". Sam's face split into a sneer and he pushed Michael hard. Michael barely flinched, since undergoing his transformation he was one of the larger in the pack, his age clearly contributing to his size.

A thought leapt into my head and I flicked my eyes between them, barely a difference except for the age, oh no! I leapt to my feet and shouted out "Michael don't!" It all made sense, he was the oldest Uley, if he challenged Sam, if he…Jake looked at me in confusion but Michael had already began, his voice strong as the sun began to set around us, bringing a sudden eerie chill "I demand that you leave here now". The confusion became clear on Sam's face followed by a look of sheer hatred, and I raised my hand to my mouth in shock, as did many of the other wolves as Sam let out a howl, then turned and fled.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: Ok lovely people, finally another update I was going to jump straight to the meeting with Jasper, but so many questions came up from the last chapter, that this one just wrote itself! Managed to get out Part 1 of the back story to all those who reviewed chapter 51 [except 1 person who had PM disabled], all those who PM'd back seemed to like what my crazy little head dreamt up. Part 2 will follow reviews for this chapter. If you missed part 1, go back and review :)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine.**

* * *

**JPOV**

I could feel the shock radiating through my pack. Michael's eyes were wide with confusion and fear. My gaze went to Leah. She hadn't moved at all. I saw Bella moving quickly to her side, wrapping her arms around Leah's shoulders and stroking her hair but it was as if I was getting nothing from her, no anger, retaliation, nothing at all.

There was an explosion of noise in my head, panicked thoughts, unspoken concern, some anger, as if all of them had cried out my name and locked onto me at once. The wave of sickness hit me and I grabbed for the handle of dad's chair to steady myself. "Enough" I called out and pushed them all out of my head, keeping only Michael's mind attached to mine. I let his thoughts wash over me quickly, his anger at Sam for the hurt he had made Leah suffer, his shame that he had acted quickly without consideration for the pack, his fury at… I stopped and looked at him hard. That wasn't good, he was trying to bury it quickly, ashamed of his thoughts. My eyes narrowed. I had been completely right about the Elders reasons for keeping them apart.

I turned back to them all, cutting the connection with Michael. He leaned down, resting his hands on the picnic table, hiding his face from the others. He knew it as well as I did, he had made a dangerous move now, one that could have serious repercussions for the pack.

Harry surprised me by speaking out "The bloodline has spoken and been claimed by the rightful, as was done by the Alpha, so shall it be for his second". Harry walked over to the picnic table and sat down on the bench, resting his hand over Michael's trembling one. I felt my heart sit into the pit of my stomach. This guy was cool, Bella had found him for us, and he was of course Leah's imprint, which made the world a better place for all of us that had to share it with her, but Sam had been my guide, Sam had stood by me when my mind turned in on itself with the damage of the separation from my imprint. Sam still bore the scars from standing by me, protecting that which was mine.

I stood solemly as Seth rose to his feet and went and sat by his father. I could understand it, Michael was his kin now. Bella helped Leah to get to her feet and as she moved to Michael's side he embraced her like a man clinging to a life raft. I recognised that too. A wolf terrified of his imprint, the fear that we might have in some way damaged the belief they have in us, and take away the only thing that keeps us alive.

I looked at the others, and as I did so Paul rose to his feet. I looked at him in surprise. I had expected…I didn't know what…but some kind of outburst from him. He patted Michael on the shoulder as he rested against the edge of the table. Jared, Quil and Embry remained where they had sat before. Suddenly Embry shot to his feet with anger blazing in his eyes "Are you going to let him do that?" He spat at me. "You taking over, I was cool with that, but him, who the hell is he to me? Sam's been everything, he's taken care of us, raised us, shown us how to become Protectors, and this is how you let him get treated?"

I caught Embry's head with my hands, bringing his forehead against mine as the emotion became too much for him. I could feel his pain, his despair. Out of all of us, this was always going to hurt Embry the most, Sam was the closest thing he had ever had to a father. Right now, despite his size and strength and everything else, this felt like the Embry I used to find hiding in the toilets when the other kids had been picking on him for being the only bastard child on the res. I tilted his face so he was looking at me "This doesn't change who Sam is to you, nothing can change that. I just need you to give Michael some respect that's all. Just let Sam calm down, get his head straight, then we'll work out a way to sort this all out properly. Ok?" I shook his head gruffly, like I always used to do, and he looked at me pitifully, before nodding his head weakly.

Quil stood, nodded at me and nodded briefly at Michael. I could sense that Quil largely wasn't fussed, but the same as always, wherever Embry's allegiance lay, so would Quil's. I turned to him "Can you get him back home, cool off for a bit". Quil nodded and pulled Embry by the arm. Embry had always been the sensitive one of the three of us, and I was sure that some time spent hanging out with Quil would settle him down. I would make some time later to sit down with him properly, away from the others as this was much more wrapped up in his own baggage than purely just a pack thing.

That just left Jared, who was sat Kim by his side, casually tracing out patterns in the dirt with a stick. "How about you Jared?" Jared looked up at me, he was one of the hardest to get a read on, he had spent a lot of time with Sam, learning how to mask his thoughts to protect Kim's privacy, and I could tell he was using that now. Jared spoke quietly, without emotion "I am a Protector. You are my Alpha. My pack are my brothers. I will do as I am asked". I could have reached into his mind and demanded his thoughts but to be honest, I didn't want to know. He was telling me he wouldn't fight against Michael's position, but he was also letting us know that he wasn't crazy about the idea. Sadly, it felt like it echoed my own thoughts.

I nodded, "Take Kim home, then you and Seth run the patrol." He nodded and walked away silently, holding out his hand for Kim to grab and she hopped up and ran after him. Dad reached out and patted my arm. "You did good son, you did good." He wheeled off towards the house and Harry followed him. I motioned for Paul and Seth to join them. Bella stood up too and gave me a little hug. She went to move towards the house and I caught her arm "Where are you going?" She looked at me with a little smile and cocked her head to the side "I thought you would want me safe and out of the way". I gave her a mock-evil glare, "Oh I get it, life and death dramatics and you want to be slap bang in the middle, bit of relationship drama and you try to slope off with the guys, I think not!"

She poked me in the side and stuck her tongue out. Part of me wanted to catch that tongue and slide it into my mouth, run my hands through her hair, slide my….FOCUS! As much as I loved what she had done today, it was frying my brain and I needed to be running on all cylinders. I turned to Leah "Are you cool?" She looked at me, her expression confused "I don't know honestly". I saw Michael tense, but Leah continued. "I mean I'm okay with it all strangely, to be honest I thought it might go down worse, I wasn't expecting the whole power take-over thing, but it seems only Bella was". I looked at Bella but she just shrugged, I had been completely confused when she had shouted out to Michael to stop. "We were doing Monarchy systems in Social Studies, the whole eldest heir stuff, remember Leah". Leah nodded vaguely, her attention elsewhere.

Michael reached out to her "I'm sorry" he whispered. "I should have handled that better, I just saw red and lost it". Leah sighed "It wasn't all your fault, he didn't need to be such a butt-head and start pushing you". I looked over to Michael. "I think it might be a good idea for you too to go for a run, get into each others thoughts before the others patrol". I saw Michael stiffen, so did the girls. Leah's eyes snapped between us "Why? What's going on?" I really didn't want to get into their business, but what was in Michael's head had worried me.

"Michael", Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts, "Is there something on your mind, something that might have troubled Jake?" Michael let out an angry sigh and pushed his hands through his hair. "Look, I know I don't know the guy, it's just that he makes me so mad". Bella looked at him with that searching expression "Because?" Michael pushed away from the table and began to pace around in angry circles. "Because, of everything, because he hurt you, because he stayed in your head even when he should have let you go, because he ruled you, and owned you and bound you to him when he had no right". Michael's words were tumbling out and I could see the tears forming in Leah's eyes. "Because, you're beautiful and wonderful and smart and sexy and he made you fell like nothing, he made you quit school, and give up". The tears were falling fast down Leah's face now but Michael was on a roll, he needed all of this out if he was going to make it in the pack, otherwise his darkest thoughts and fears would be out there for all of them to see.

Leah stood now reaching out for him but Michael still hadn't finished "I want to be the bigger man, I want to rise above it, but he took what was supposed to be mine and I hate him for it". I saw the shock on both Leah and Bella's faces, but part of me was relieved that he had admitted it. Bella had stumbled onto a part of my wolf that I didn't even know I possessed earlier, a part of me so wild and so animal and so driven that I could barely find the humanity attached to it. Bella was mine, marked as mine, claimed as mine, mated as mine. Her body knew no one else but me. It was not a conscious thought, not a human thought. I would love her no matter who she was or how she had chosen to live her life before the day that she had said she was mine, but the darkest part of my wolf mind loved that her body belonged to me, that she belonged to me.

I could understand the pain that Michael was in. He loved Leah, he'd loved her even before he'd imprinted, and in that way his feelings were as true and honest as mine were for Bella, but his wolf was angry and both of them were going to need to work on that. Leah threw her arms around his neck "I'm so sorry, if I could take it back, if I could change anything, you have to know I would", but Michael was shaking his head. "Don't say that, don't feel that. I don't want you to feel guilty. I just….God I don't know, Jake's right…I need this out in the open so that you can see that it doesn't change a thing about how I feel about you, but it's not going to be an easy thing being around him. That part of me that's not under control yet, it wants to tear him apart. It wants him dead so he can never have another thought about you. But I don't want to be like that, honestly I don't. I don't ever want you to feel that you are being made to chose or feel guilty. I just can't see how me being around him is ever going to work".

They were wrapped in each others arms whispering to each other now and I raised my eyebrows at Bella. Was this fixed? Should I say anything else? Bella nodded her head and took my hand, leading me away from the two of them. I looked at her cautiously. She screwed up her face and frowned, then leaned against my arm as we walked round to the car. I called for Paul as I stood there rubbing her arms gently, I traced the beautiful design down her back and rested my chin on the top of her head. She sighed deeply. "It's never straightforward is it?" I hugged her gently, there wasn't really an answer to that.


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: Ok, super fast update just because I got a minute to get this chapter down. Thanks for the feedback on part 2, just so you know part 3 will come with reviews for chapter 53. Love to you all and enjoy the weekend!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**

* * *

**

**[JPOV]**

I tossed the keys to Paul as he came out of the house. He stopped for a minute, staring at them before giggling and leaping behind the wheel. He gunned the engine noisily and the revs made a little shiver run down my spine. I did so love this car, and the thought of having to give it back today made me a little sad. I kissed Bella on the top of the head. "I want you to go with Paul, I'm going to run there. I think I need to try and talk to Sam". Bella frowned "Are you sure?" This surprised me. I was used to Bella seeing the best in everyone. "Look, I mean I know it's your duty, but they are fighting over Leah like she's a shiny new toy. She's a grown woman for goodness sake. There's something about this that makes me really uncomfortable. I know Sam is your friend, but I just don't like this at all, and it's going to tear her apart if it continues. I don't want to sound mean, but perhaps it's better for Sam and Emily to be away for a while, like you told them to be". She looked at me intently, "Really and truly, he disobeyed you by coming back here today, and he clearly hasn't got over his issues. It just doesn't seem fair that he spoilt such a lovely day for Leah and Michael, and now Embry and Jared are all uncomfortable with Michael, and all because Sam couldn't do as he was told. It's just not fair". She pouted her lips. I stood back and ran my hand through my hair, feeling quite thrown by her outburst.

I nodded and gave her another hug as she climbed into car. "I don't want you going in there until I get there" I said meaningfully. Part of me really didn't want her anywhere near this leech, but I knew she'd end up trying to see him anyway. She nodded her head. "I mean it, promise me". She gave a little smile and held out her finger "Pinkie swear". I kissed her hand as we swore and then headed round to the wooded area. I phased in slowly, trying to give Sam time to get used to my presence. I could feel his anger, his jealously and his shame. "Sam, talk to me, what the hell is going on with you?" He snarled in response. I could see his was on the run back to the cabin. "Sam why did you come here today? You promised you'd stay away for a while". I felt him skid to a halt "Stay away? Look what happened, you have a whole new pack now don't you, I step out of the way and you have her all cosy and a new second-in-command, no need for good old Sam now is there?"

I was getting angry "Why do you care?" I bellowed. "He imprinted on her, not you!" I felt the shock course through him. I realised that he hadn't sensed the imprint, or perhaps he'd been too blinded by his own issues. "This isn't just a crush, or a casual fling you can get in the middle of. The spirits have spoken, they have decided. You have to let her go now Sam, you have to!" His anger was overwhelming, he hated Michael, he hated imprinting, he hated me. His anger stabbed into me "I did nothing to you! That's not fair!" I shouted at him.

"You made everything happen, everything was fine before, then you and Bella start this whole tornado and my life gets torn up" he spat back at me. "Everything was not fine and you know it Sam. It wasn't fair that you didn't get to imprint on her, it wasn't fair on either of you, but what happened since wasn't right, you should have let her go. You are loosing everything because you can't let her go. It has to stop Sam, you have to stop this". I didn't know whether to plead, or demand, or issue an order. He was my guide and I had believed in him, but now I didn't know what to do.

"I'll tell you what to do!" He retorted angrily, "Leave me alone, don't come looking for me with that sick connection of yours, stay out of my head and I'll stay out of the pack's". "Sam, you don't mean that, you are part of this pack, you are a Protector, this is your duty". Then in a tired, aged voice he spoke again "Please Jake, just leave me alone. I just need to be left alone for a while". I felt him phase out. He wasn't all the way to the cabin but obviously would prefer to walk human style than spend any longer talking to me.

I lowered myself to the ground, he didn't want me to talk to him, that really hurt. He had called my connection to him 'sick', did he really feel that way, did the others? I know that being able to talk to people in their heads was a bit weird, but I didn't think any of them thought it was a bad thing. I realised that time was getting on and began the run to the leech place. I honestly never thought I'd be going there of my own free will.

As I arrived at the house, the smell of them made me gag. Despite the fact that most of them had been gone for many months, the cloying sickly sweet smell hung in the air. I could see Bella sat on the step. The hood of the car was up and Paul and the leech were immersed in discussion over fuel injection systems. I smirked to myself, fine bunch of Protectors we were, all the next coven would need to do is distract us with nice cars and we'd all roll over and wag our tails.

I settled on the ground next to Bella and she wrapped her arm around me. I loved how it felt. I felt safer like this, in this form. We were on enemy turf and I didn't want to let my guard down. The leech straightened up once I was comfortable and walked over. He stood straight in front of me, his eyes not flickering from mine and I appraised him carefully. I also remembered a key point from last night, he had the ability to control the human form, possibly contributing to Paul's very relaxed demeanour, I was definitely staying wolf then.

Paul wandered over and dropped down beside me with a lazy smile on his face, he gave me a cheery wave and I rolled my eyes. "Tell him to remove the mind control". I snapped. Idiot! Paul looked at me confused "Jake wants the mind control removed" he repeated. A mischievous grin played across the leech's face and Bella began to giggle. "As you wish Alpha Black" he nodded and turned his attention to Paul. Paul leapt as if his backside was on fire. He looked around in disgust "What did you do to me?" he yelled. "You…You…I felt like we were best friends…what the hell?" Bella held her arms out "Come and sit by me Paul, I'll protect you from the mean vampire". Paul walked behind us as if he was afraid to get too close to the leech again and sat close to Bella, his forehead creased and his eyes slitted in annoyance.

"Jasper can manipulate emotions, that's all, he was just helping you to relax". Paul began muttering all sorts of cuss words under his breath, and continued to eye the leech suspiciously. The leech took a few steps back and then sat down, he seemed calm, controlled and very aware. I could tell that the sitting was to appease me, as if to show he meant no threat. I pushed my head against Bella. I knew she would have lots to say. I would let her have her time whilst I tried to work out the leech's angle.

Bella smiled happily "So Jasper, how is Alice?" He leaned forward resting on his elbow. "She misses you, a lot. She buys you things. She has a Bella box. She gift wraps, then she changes her mind and gift wraps again – different paper, different bow. She does that a lot." Bella sighed "I miss her too, maybe we could write? Could we write Jake, would that be allowed?" I snorted, I didn't mean to honest, but it came out before I could stop it. The leech spoke for me luckily before I got my paw stuck too far down my throat. "That's probably not a good idea at the moment Bella dear, not as things stand, perhaps later, once problems are resolved".

"What problems?" Bella quickly asked. Straight to the flame my little moth. He leaned back then, staring at the sky as if it would guide him somehow. "Bella, how much did Edward tell you about himself?" I felt my skin crawl, it was as if his name was some kind of poison to me. Bella shrugged, "What do you mean, things he liked, his music, where he had travelled, that sort of thing?" The leech shook his head. "Bella, did you ever talk to him about sin, or damnation or anything like that?" She stroked my fur as she thought. I remembered some of the things she had said, mostly to Leah about the reasons he had given when he left. "He believed he was damned, soulless, that sort of thing. What does that have to do with anything?"

The leech seemed to contemplate, and I realised that he was struggling to say things in a way that didn't offend Bella. I smiled again, well as long as he felt as uneasy as we did around him then it was all even. "There were lots of things that Edward chose to keep to himself, like the thoughts he had about humanity. Don't forget, a hundred years being exposed to every single thought the world has will take its toll on a person's mental state". He paused, gauging Bella's reaction, and as she remained silent he continued. "After a while, he began to separate the world in very simple terms, good and bad, right and wrong, the virtuous and the damned. Most of us see the grey in the middle, as I know you do by the love that you extended to the family, despite what we are. But for Edward, it became quite absolute. He became quite enchanted with Dante, and the religious works of Pope Gregory. Are you familiar with Dante?"

I shrugged, now I was definitely pleased I had let Bella come, last night I hadn't had a clue what he was waffling on about most of the time, but Bella seemed to be following it clearly. "The Divine Comedy, I have read some of the translations of Inferno but I didn't really like Purgatory". The leech nodded "Do you remember the cardinal sins?" Bella smiled "Oh this was on one of my papers – Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Envy, Pride…Oh what was the seventh?" Paul cut in suddenly, "I saw this movie! It's sloth, remember Jake, that movie where the woman's hand is glued to the phone and the bottle of pills and he mashes her face up and she has to decide whether to call the ambulance but be disfigured, or top herself." Paul seemed very pleased with himself but my blood was running cold. I remembered that movie and it ended with the good guy's wife's head in a box in a desert. I really didn't like this conversation at all.

The leech continued "Bella, according to Dante's rules you were perfection – you didn't get angry, you didn't want people to spend money on you, you didn't want to be the centre of attention, you kept yourself busy taking care of Charlie, you were kind, and gentle and…" he paused for a minute and took a deep breath, I found that odd, he was dead, surely he didn't need to breathe? "pure" he finished carefully. "Oh!" Bella said quietly "but I'm not perfect, just like everyone, I would get mad and wish that Alice would stop buying me things, or I'd wish that I was a pretty as Rosalie, and I was definitely envious, I mean I wanted what you had, I wanted to be like you". I stiffened. The nightmare I had had of Bella with blood red eyes flashed through my mind. She gripped me tightly "I mean I don't feel like that anymore of course", she kissed my nose tenderly. The leech smiled "Of course you did, we all do, it's just human nature. But the difference was Edward couldn't hear your thoughts, so the only proof he had of how virtuous you were, were your actions, which you have to admit were definitely self-sacrificing."

Bella said "Oh" again in a little voice. Was that it? I thought there might be ranting and ravings, how could he? I thought he loved me? That sort of thing, you know kind of Maury style. She shrugged "Well, it's not as if it really matters now does it?" Wow, this girl just blows me away, I hope she has an idea of how much I love her. "Unfortunately, it sort of does. Do you remember in inferno, the animals that Dante encounters" the leech asked. What was this a pop quiz or something, it's Saturday, I don't want to think this much until school on Monday!

Bella breathed in deeply "wow, erm..was it a panther, or a lion maybe, a leopard…and a she-wolf". Bella gasped "No he can't possibly believe that?" The leech nodded. Ok I really hate it when people do this "Explain" I shouted at Paul and he winced. "Jake wants an explanation and he's shouting so please break it down simply". I huffed a little, I'm not stupid but this was getting to be a bit of a theme, talking amongst themselves,'ah-ha' and 'I see', first Paul's reading, then I'm sure there was something else after that, and now this.

"Dante wrote about a she-wolf who prevented him from finding the 'diritta via', the path to salvation. A wolf who might have pulled Bella to the path of damnation?" The leech answered slowly. "Well, that's just ridiculous, I mean utterly ridiculous, can't you just explain it to him Jasper" Bella fussed. He shook his head "Don't forget I'm one of the damned, I'm a sinner – too much wrath, too much pride, too much gluttony. My word is meaningless." "What about Carlisle? I mean, in Edward's eyes Carlisle must be ok?" The leech nodded sadly "But Carlisle won't intervene in this Bella, Carlisle believes we each must find our own way. Don't forget that Carlisle allowed him to reek his vengeance on the 'sinners' for nearly ten years without intervention. Do you have any idea how many people Edward killed over ten years, ten years, three hundred and sixty-five days in each year. Even if he fed only once a week, and that is very very doubtful, that's five hundred and twenty people Edward killed, with Carlisle's full knowledge.

I saw Bella go pale, and I understood, those numbers were horrifying and I would imagine very conservative, but she needed to understand. She gripped my fur tightly and held onto Paul's hand until her knuckles were white. "What is he going to do?" Bella asked in a small voice. The leech looked to the floor "I wish I knew Bella, I wish I knew". I turned to Paul "What is he proposing to do to prepare?". I played the possibilities over in my mind as Paul relayed my question. The leech looked directly at me. "As you know I have offered to join your army and serve under your command, in return for the benefits of that allegiance". Bella gasped "army? you mean you plan to fight him". The leech answered her calmly "Not exactly, I just wish for us to be prepared for every eventuality".

I spoke through Paul again "The Elders are not in favour of this, they do not trust you". The leech nodded, "as well they shouldn't. I am what I am, but I will prove to them that my presence can be tolerated in your army's best interest". I nodded for him to continue. "I request that you allow me to train your soldiers. I am highly skilled and what I have to share will benefit them greatly." I considered this, the training would be useful. But it would allow him the opportunity to learn their weaknesses, and even misguide them should he turn against us as some point. I stood up, shaking my fur, being careful not to unbalance Bella. I phased on the spot. I made no attempt to cover myself and I saw Bella blush deeply. I had nothing to hide from this leech. "I will consider your request but will need further information about your plans, location, numbers, timing. When you are ready you may contact us". He smiled. "I will draw you up an outline by the morning."

He made a movement towards Bella and both Paul and myself bristled. He stopped and looked towards me for permission before extending his arms to her. I rolled my eyes as she hugged him. I pulled my shorts from the binding and slid them on. I was probably going to have to carry Bella, it was a bit of a walk back. Paul handed over the keys to the leech and phased in. The leech chuckled and put the keys back into my hand. "You might as well consider it part of the gesture", he winked at Bella, "after all, you never can shift that wet dog smell from the upholstery". My jaw dropped and he turned on his heel and entered the house.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Wow, the feedback from you reviewers has just blown me away. Yes, to answer many questions part 4 will be given to all those reviewing this chapter. Given that I'm keeping in the T rating there is a pause in the middle of this chapter. I couldn't get it write to a T so I hope if time allows that I'll get a chance to put it as a seperate one-shot. No promises, I get a lot of ideas, and zero time to turn them into something.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM, and she'd probably hate what I've done to it, but hey.**

* * *

I took the keys from Jake's hand and jangled these in front of his eyes. He hadn't moved for several seconds. He blinked rapidly. "Bells, did he just…?" I laughed "Yes, he did. Jasper has clearly worked out how to get in your good books". His expression shifted, became guarded and I recognised the Alpha look that he wore. Over the last few days I had come to be able to identify it quicker. His voice grew quieter as he took my hand. "Bella, do you trust him?" I tilted my head to the side, it was an odd question, and honestly one that I didn't expect him to ask. Previously, Jake would have automatically assumed that I trusted him, but now, was it what Jasper said to him? Or was it that he was more certain in my position by his side, rather than something he needed to hold onto? "I don't know if trust is actually the right word" I answered finally. "What he is saying and his actions seem to have the same purpose, does that make sense?"

Jake looked at me deeply "Go on". I tried to put my thoughts into words "When Edward was here, nothing ever made sense. I couldn't understand why he wanted to be with me, it never exactly sat right. What Jasper says, as alarming and unpleasant as I find it, does make sense, it feels understandable. As for Jasper's actions, he wants you to tolerate him, he did not once ask you to trust him did he?" Jake shook his head. "He has openly said that he wants something from you, and is prepared to offer you things in return – the car, his training ability, and by the sound of it his allegiance in a battle. His actions and words seem quite transparent". Jake nodded. "Do you feel safe around him?" I took a deep breath, I had never felt as comfortable around Jasper as the others, even before the attack and he had never in any way seemed relaxed in the school environment, yet he had seemed truly comfortable this afternoon, as if he had no thirst for me at all, and even when he had shielded me whilst I was bleeding before, I mean I knew he had been holding his breath and he'd wrapped up my hand very tightly, but hadn't showed any inkling of blood lust. "I actually don't think he finds me appealing anymore, and he seems very comfortable around you guys. Obviously your natural scent to him is sufficiently off-putting."

Jake smiled and put his arms around me rubbing them up and down me, a naughty twinkle appeared in his eyes "Well we'll have to make sure you are well and truly scented at all times". He picked me up and carried me over to the car "C'mon, let's get back to the res, this place gives me the heebie-jeebies". He drove masterfully, clearly enjoying the vehicle. "Do I have time to go home and change?" Jake looked at me strangely then broke into a huge grin, "Did you mean Charlie home or home-home?" I blushed deeply, "Sorry, I meant your house, I…" I trailed off, wow that had been a bit Freudian. I'd just referred to my boyfriend's house as my home. I know there was a whole supernatural imprint relationship and my dad had imposed me as a temporary lodger but wow, did I really feel that, did it already feel like home? I felt Jake squeeze my thigh "Do you have any idea what you do to me when you do stuff like that?"

I giggled, feeling embarrassed, "Like what?" I don't know why I said it and I started to chew my lip as soon as it came out. I felt like some cheesy seductress in a movie. I knew that he reacted to it. I saw earlier that wearing his name had brought his wolf right to the fore, I knew that he was excited but something in me wanted to hear him admit it. I wanted to know what it made him feel. I shifted around in my seat, feeling little uncomfortable in the slim jeans. I wanted him, I wanted to hear his words of desire. I moved again, shifting in my seat, the uncomfortableness more recognisable now. Jake let out a moan as he breathed in deeply. "Bella" he hissed. I looked at him as he drove, his knuckles gripping the wheel as his free hand continued to hold my thigh. "Like what?" I whispered again. Jake swung into his drive way and drove right down to the garage area. It was empty thankfully as the Rabbit had been taken out to make room for Michael's truck initially and that was now over at Leah's. He leapt out of the door almost as soon as it stopped and kicked the garage doors closed forcefully. I stepped out shakily, my thoughts making me feel light-headed and my legs unresponsive to my commands.

Jake's body was pressed against me in an instant "Where are you going?" His mouth found mine and kissed me. It was a kiss that said so much that I blushed again. He was making me feel reckless and wild and at the same time so loved and safe, it was a feeling I'd never had before, a feeling of utter belonging. I felt brazen, desireable, adored and it made me feel powerful. I broke off the kiss, watching as his eyes blazed as I did so. "I don't want to wear these jeans to dinner". He looked at me oddly, then his eyes widened as I unfastened the button and began to slide them down. His tongue ran across his upper lip. I turned around and paused to slip them off my feet. I heard the deep growl and it pulled at something inside me. Jake wanted me, he wanted me so badly he could barely control the wolf in him, it made me breathless. He moved behind me "Baby" his voice was hoarse as if it was taking him every effort just to sound out the syllables. "Baby I love you and I respect you…" his voice trailed off, but I knew what he was trying to say. I loved him too, I loved the beauty in the way he loved me and caressed me, but right now, right in this moment, this was about the Alpha wolf and his mate.

I leaned forward a little, resting my hands on the car, letting the fabric of the top slip away from his name on my back and looked over my shoulder, into eyes that were fierce with desire. I found my voice eventually and whispered "Claim me, Alpha Black".

* * *

I lay my head on his shoulder as we stood under the shower. I felt exhausted, yet beautifully satisfied. He shut off the water when we heard the phone ringing. I lazily rubbed a towel through my hair as Jake went to answer it. He leant on the doorframe "Dinner in 20 minutes". My stomach growled loudly in response. I was surprised, the lunch I'd eaten should have filled me up for a whole day, but I suppose I'd used up a lot of calories in the last hour or so. Jake stood there with a dreamy expression on his face "You know you are amazing" he smiled. I nodded "So you keep telling me". I wandered into the bedroom and pulled out some clean clothes. He pouted as he dried off. "Do you have to cover it up?" he looked so sad, as if I'd killed his puppy. "Jake, its dinner with Charlie, I'm not sure he would appreciate it". He nodded and whined reluctantly "I guess so, does that mean we'll take the Rabbit instead? I'm not sure explaining a new sports car would be very easy either". I nodded, it was probably for the best.

For a second my mood darkened, I wasn't sure what this dinner was about and if Billy and Harry were cooking up trouble it was probably best to minimise the other complications. Jake came up behind me as I was tying my hair back, and kissed me on my neck. "Thank you for earlier" he said with a cheesy grin. I smiled "No thank you!" I turned round to look for my shoes and realised they were still in the garage. "There was one thing I meant to ask, you know with the whole protection thing, I mean I guess I should have asked before but you do have it under control right?" Jake nodded and smiled "It's all in the scent apparently. One day you'll smell really really good, and that's when we don't, apart from that it's ok." I frowned a little "So how do you know what really really good smells like?" Jake frowned as well and made a little face. "Hmm" he said uncertainly. I glanced at the clock "Shoot Jake, we're going to be late!" I hustled him out of the house and we jumped in the Rabbit.

Everybody was already around the table when we rushed in. Harry was sitting at the head of the table with Billy and Charlie on one side. Michael sat next to Harry on the other, his hand wound tightly in Leah's who was sitting next to him. Harry motioned to the empty chair at the opposite end of the table for Jake and I squeezed in next to Leah. I gave Leah a quick hug and looked her straight in the eye. I wanted to see how she was doing, but her expression was relaxed and calm, if slightly intrigued as to what we were all doing here. She kissed my forehead. "It's all good", then her attention returned to Michael and she leaned against his arm.

Harry motioned for Jake to serve and I caught Charlie's expression. Charlie and the others were of the old school and on occasions like this, it was always the man of the house who would serve. That old 'hunter provider' thought process. Jake stood and portioned out the fish with ease. He served Harry, Billy and Charlie first, then myself. He took three plates and heaped them equally for himself, Leah and Michael. I smothered a giggle as Charlie's eyes grew wider and wider.

As the food started to go down contently Harry cleared his throat. "You kids might be wondering why us old folks wanted you for dinner tonight". Jake leaned back in his chair "Is it our sparkling wit and dinner party conversation?" He played with his fork whilst eyeing Harry intently. Harry cleared his throat again. "Well, given recent events" he paused and clapped Michael on the back with a cheery smile, "we've been doing some thinking". He stopped and looked at us all. "Now we had an idea that we thought might suit, but it sort of depends on all of you". There was the noise of cutlery being set down as Leah, Michael and myself all stopped eating and gave Harry our full attention.

"Well, as it stands Michael is a bit between places at the moment. Now it would get a bit crowded for him to remain with the Black's, and well as much as he is now part of the family, it might not be the most appropriate for the two of you being here. I mean there is Seth to consider." Leah's face turned hot pink and she stared down at her plate. I was desperately embarrassed for her. Harry continued, appearing to ignore the fact that his daughter wanted the ground to open and swallow her. "And I think it's highly unlikely that you two are going to be comfortable living apart. So, well your mother and I have been putting money aside for a while, you know for a wedding and things, but we got to thinking that you might prefer it as the down payment on a place of your own for the two of you".

Leah's eyes went as large as saucer and she inhaled sharply. Michael looked like he couldn't quite decide whether to laugh out loud or pass out. I smiled, a moment ago the poor guy had been floating through life feeling lost, sick, confused and abandoned. Now he had a family, a life partner, a pack, and now a home. I let out a little happy giggle. Harry went on "Now, the two of you would need to make the payments, but between the hospital and the teaching stipends, and the price we've negotiated it should be quite manageable. Leah threw her arms around Michael "Our own apartment!"

At this point, Charlie was the one to clear his throat. "OK, well, not exactly". He turned his attention to me and shuffled in his seat "Bella, when you and your mom left…" his face clouded and my smile faded whilst he shuffled again "well, I started using the apartment at the station house. You should see it, it's a great place, has a bedroom and a pull-out in the lounge for sport's nights." He turned to Billy and they clinked their bottles of beer with a smile. "It was just a perfect size, but the lawyer's said you needed your old room so I kept the house on, and then when you moved back, well I moved back in there". Now it was my eyes that were wide. For the second time today pieces of a puzzle that had always seemed odd fitted into place. Was that why the house felt like it was stuck in some kind of time wrap, never altering never changing, and Charlie's chair and the flat screen seeming like the only parts that actually had any attachment to him. I had always been concerned that Charlie was still in some way pining for my mom, but was that just because he never changed anything in the house, never bought a female friend over for dinner. "So is Harry buying the apartment at the station house?".

Charlie's eyes flashed suddenly with emotion, "No! that's mine". He then looked bashful, "I mean well…" he trailed off and Billy shoved his shoulder "What your father is trying to say Bella, is that if you wanted, he would continue to run the house for you, but if however you were happy with the current arrangements, then he would like to sell off the house and move into the station house apartment permanently. It had always been the plan once you went to college, we just thought given the circumstances, we may be able to move up the schedule a little to suit everyone". I stared at Charlie and then jumped out of my seat running round the table. I threw my arms around him "Why didn't you ever say, I'd have been fine on a pull-out if it's what would have made you happy". Charlie hugged me back gently "It wouldn't have been right, you needed your own space". I stood behind him with my arms wrapped round his neck, I couldn't believe how many sacrifices he had made for my happiness, and I'd been ready to throw my relationship with him away to follow a foolish dream of becoming a vampire.

"So you're saying that Leah and Michael would buy the house?" I suddenly realised excitedly. Charlie laughed and patted my hand "Well, there is one condition". He reached out for Leah's hand and squeezed it. "You have to keep a bed and a desk available for her for if she needs to escape this one and his bunch of ya-hoos". Charlie motioned towards Jake who was still leaning back in his chair. I caught his expression and stopped. Jake was regarding Harry again

"There is a second condition" Harry spoke seriously now. "Given the status of the two of you, it would need the consent of the Alpha for you to move outside of the reservation". A silence settled over the room and all eyes turned to Jake. "What are the views of the Elders?" Jake spoke, his voice rang with power and authority. Billy was the one to answer. "The Elders believe that it will offer a peaceful opportunity for the Protectors to expand their base, but it has been left for you to decide". Jake nodded and turned his face to me. I unwrapped my arms from Charlie's neck and went to him "What are the views of my Beloved?" he asked. I felt the energy ripple through me and I smiled "I think it's a wonderful idea, a fresh start, a little space, and I can't think of anyone I would want living there more". Jake took my hand "And you do not want the house for yourself?" I looked at him and shook my head "I already have a home, don't I?" I saw his face soften and break into a smile. He pulled me into a hug as he turned to Leah and Michael "You have my blessing". Leah squealed and jumped, she ran around hugging Harry, hugging Charlie. Michael got firm handshakes from each of the men.

Jake just sat, with his arm wrapped around me, a calm expression on his face. I kissed him gently and after a while said softly "Are you ok?" He nodded as if pulled from deep thoughts and blinked his eyes. "Do you think there is any pie?" he asked quietly, I smiled and headed off to the kitchen turning in the doorway to regard them all. Whilst Leah was talking animatedly with Harry and Charlie about her ideas for the house, Michael was deep in conversation with Billy about the hospital.

But Jake was just sat there, not talking to the others, his expression still calm but concentrated, as if he was trying to work out a complicated maths problem. Once again I wished I had the mental connection with him that the others did, so I could see what he was thinking.


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: OK, so you love me for the back story [although some of you have been confused] but you hate me for the long wait for the update. Not going to give you big long explanations, I'm sure it's of no interest. This chapter was planned for slightly later in the story, but the plot bunnies demanded it right now. So hey, here goes, love it or hate it, if you review it, I'll still give you part five.**

**Disclaimer: SM probably barely recognises them now, but they still belong to her.**

**

* * *

**

I honestly felt like I was in the middle of a whirlwind. I could see the others, Harry and Michael talking about work, Charlie and Leah going on about the house, well Leah seemed to be going on about the house and poor Charlie was just listening, too frightened to move away while she was this excited. I could feel Bella and Dad's eyes on me, they knew something wasn't right but I couldn't find the words to explain what was happening.

If I had ever taken drugs or gotten drunk I might have words to describe what this felt like. I don't know if I'm hallucinating, no I don't think that's right, because I know what's going on but something else is happening too. I can see stuff, hear stuff that isn't right here in this room. It's like someone's playing a projector but I'm the only one that's seeing it. I can see places and people, but it's a if it's from a really old movie, everything looks like it does in the history books. I see people, wolves, lives, deaths, a baby being born, sacrifices, oh crap this is starting to hurt.

I try to look past it all, where is my queen? A noise by the door guides me to her, she's smiling with a plate in her hand but now she's frowning, why is she sad? It hurts, my head hurts. Bella hold me, I need you, but she's too far, talking to Leah, can't you see I need you? But Leah is going, almost dragging Charlie, demanding to see the house right now. Stuff the house, this hurts.

I try to lift my arms to hold my head but the pain is making me freeze. Bella please! But Michael is holding her, no she's mine. I make a sound but it's more of a roar. MINE! He let's go but she still doesn't come to me. I try to see in her eyes but all I can feel is her fear. It's so painful to my heart that it overwhelms the rest of the pain. I feel like I'm sinking, growing, shrinking, soaring, falling. I feel my mind turn in on itself and then it all goes black.

Ouch...

Urgh...

I can feel myself slowly coming together. It feels like I've been asleep for a week. "Jake?" the voice of an angel. "Bella?" I croak, trying to get my eyes to open. "Oh baby, how are you feeling?" I can hear the fear in her voice and feel it inside of me. "What just happened?" my voice sounds so weak, it's crazy. I tried to push myself up and my head lurched painfully again. "Easy son, you've had a bit of a well..." the voice trailed off, and I didn't recognise it either. I struggled to get my eyes open and looked around. I felt really disorientated as I assumed I was still at Harry's house but as I finally focussed I realised I was at the Elder's Lodge. I was on a rug on the floor and there was a cushion under my head. I reached out quickly, thankfully there was a blanket spread over me. It was one thing to hang everything out to the breeze around the pack, but not so cool in front of the Elders.

I flinched at a movement but then realised it was only Bella settling by my side. She raised a glass of ice water to my lips and held it as I sucked it thirstily. I hadn't felt this out of it since I phased for the first time. Even during those dark terrible times when she was away from me I'd at least woken up strong. But I felt like I been hit by a truck, that had then reversed several times back over me. I gradually began to make out all the faces. Bella was by my side, stroking my hair gently. Michael, Jared, Quinn and Embry were all pacing around looking stressed and tense. Then behind them was just about every Elder I had ever met.

"Ok, show's over" I wise-cracked quietly. "Now is someone going to tell me what's going on?" Suddenly all the Elders were talking at once. Words like "shifting" and "spirit forms" were being thrown around. My stomach flipped over from the pain in my head and I gripped onto Bella's arm. I could feel her getting upset "Will you all be quiet, you are just confusing him" she cried out. I was stunned at how strong she sounded, how powerful. My Queen.

"Jake sweetheart, you had an..." she paused for a moment. What had I had? The last thing I remember was a whole world of pain inside me. "Well, Jake you kind of changed..." Bella sounded unsure of herself. I tried to straighten up again "You mean I phased in the house? Was anyone hurt?" I glanced around for dad and Harry but they seemed fine. "No sweetheart, no one was hurt but this wasn't exactly your normal sort of changing". I looked over at Bella trying to focus on her, but it felt like my actual eyeballs were hurting. "Huh?" was the most intelligent thing I could come up with.

"Jake the Elders have been explaining some stuff to me, and they'll want to give you all the details soon but I don't think now is the time" she paused and I sensed her frowning at people. "Long story short, Alpha before alpha before alpha chose wolf because it meant something to him so you do the wolf thing, but it's not all you can do, for some reason your 'other' options" she made little air quotes "suddenly became available to you". I was sitting straight up now, looking at her with a combination of amazement and confusion "my other options?" She reached out to stroke my face "Jake do you remember being anything else?"

I sat back, trying to remember the feelings "I roared didn't I?" she nodded gently "Did I fly?" she nodded again "You did some other stuff too, but again we can talk about that later". I could hear lots of grumbling. Clearly the Elders weren't used to taking orders. She stroked my face again I caught her hand and kissed it. She made me feel so calm, even though this was weirdness central. "Any ideas why?" There was general whispering but no one seemed willing to cross Bella so I looked at her only, right now there was no one else in my world. She was the thread that was holding me to sanity. "They have lots of theories but if you want my opinion..." she looked at me nervously so I nodded. " Well the pack became wolves because the Cullens moved in, Michael started his transformation when he was at the hospital where Carlisle worked, and you just spent quite a bit of time in Jasper's company last night and today, it might be that the extra vampire exposure triggered it."

There were shocked outcries. I had briefed the key Elders but it wasn't general knowledge yet that I was rubbing shoulders with a bloodsucker. Hell I'd even driven around in the car with him. I looked at Michael and the others, hadn't some of them seem Jasper last night, but I get that was just in passing. I'd sent them all away, and it had only been myself and Paul earlier on. Hold on, Paul? My head whipped to Bella "Where's Paul?" after a second her eyes widened and she looked to the others. Quil and Embry shrugged. Jared spoke quickly "Can you call him?".

I held on to Bella, I really didn't like the feeling this gave me, and right now I could hardly hold myself up. I reached into my mind "Paul?" I could sense him but his mind was a blur, there was such panic and confusion and...shame? "Paul where are you? Are you ok?" I called out. "Jake? What the hell is happening to me?" I was overwhelmed by his panic again "Paul, calm down, are you phased?" it was hard to be clear on what he was, my head felt so messed up. "Yes and no" he replied. I nodded and spoke out loud so the others could hear us "yes you're phased but no you're not a wolf?" I could feel his agreement "Can you phase back? we're at the Elder's lodge trying to figure this out". I felt the strange sense of shame again. "I'm stuck, I can't seem to phase back" he admitted. I suddenly got a clear read on him and burst out laughing.

"Paul, what the hell were you doing when you phased?" I couldn't stop laughing and I could feel how pissy it made him. "I was just in the lounge, my head started to hurt and I fell down, I couldn't get up and all I could see was one of my mom's china pieces". The tears were rolling down my face now. I told him to get here and cut the connection. I was laughing so hard I could barely feel the pain anymore. Bella was looking at me with a very concerned expression "It got him too, he's got himself stuck in a phase, I guess he's too stressed to phase back" I managed to get out in between howls of laughter. Everyone in the room was looking at me oddly, especially the pack.

"Bella, do you remember his mom's china?" she looked at me and her mouth crinkled up beautifully "the ones near the dolls?" I nodded, I was laughing so hard I couldn't speak anymore. She clapped her hand over her mouth "he didn't?" came the muffled squeak. Tears were leaking out of her eyes now and she was bright red with the effort she was trying to put in to not loosing herself in the laughter. I put my arms around her and we laughed together in spite of all of the confused faces.

Several minutes later, the laughter spread throughout the room. Jared had seen him first and dropped to his knees howling. Paul made him way into the room heading straight for Bella. She scooped him up in her arms and cooed at him "Awww aren't you so sweet" she said in a little baby voice. I leant back on my elbows taking him in. He stood maybe ten inches tall. He was perfect, right down to the little balls of curls round his ankles and the end of his tail, but it was the colour that had me shaking my head. Here he was fearsome member of the wolf pack, now a very sweet, very pink, minature toy poodle.

Quil and Embry were on the floor rolling with laughter. Even the Elders were chortling away amongst themselves. Paul ran straight at Quil trying to nip him in the ankles, but Jared was too quick for him and hoisted him straight in the air, playing a very inappropriate game of catch. Bella ran into the middle trying desperately to catch him "No don't you'll get him all dirty" she complained. I was more worried for Paul if she did actually try to catch him, I'm not sure a poodle would survive a missed catch. Eventually Quil placed him in Bella's arms and she fussed over him.

I had managed to get to my feet by this time. Dad wheeled over and passed me some shorts from under the cushion on his chair. I looked at him strangely but he just smiled "figured you might need some at some point". I slipped them on and stretched, cracking my joints a bit. I really didn't feel quite right, it was just like when I had phased for the first time, that feeling of being slightly out of control. "Probably best just to sleep on it all for tonight and try to figure it out tomorrow, at least it's Sunday so I won't be writing you another pass.

I rubbed my forehead, damn school again. I looked at Bella where she was still fussing with Paul. "Dad I don't think I'm going to be up for school until I get this under control". I saw Bella's eyes narrow. "Jake you can't cut more school, remember what you said about the whole role model thing?" I nodded but stood up straight now "Bella, you just told me I turned into a Lion, some kind of bird, and who knows what else you haven't mentioned yet, he's stuck as a lap dog and you really want me to risk being in a school right now. Please sweetheart, don't give me a hard time about this".

I felt the hurt snap my heart through the imprint. Crap, fix it, fix it now. "What about home schooling? Just for a bit?" Ok hurt softening, good. Bella frowned tough "I'm not qualified yet, the state won't allow it". There was a clearing of the throat from the back of the room "I could do it, if the school would grant me a leave of absence". I looked up to see the Elders turning in surprise. Dad's eyes were so wide they looked like they might pop out of his head. "If that would be acceptable Alpha Black, after all you have made progress with your extra-curricular learning" I looked surprised at Ms Stillwell and smiled "well my beloved, would that be acceptable?" Bella rushed over a wrapped her arms around me. "I think that would be very acceptable".

The Elders began to disperse, Harry drove Billy home. Bella and I walked slowly along. I just needed a moment of peace with her, well with her and the pink ball of fluff that was trailling at her ankles. "Bella, are you still on board with all of this?" I asked as we walked along "I mean you signed up for an imprint who was wolf, not a crazy could be anything sort of guy, if you need time to think about this I'll understand". Bella stopped and turned to face me, she reached up and pulled me down to her lips "You're my Alpha Jake, no matter what shape you come in". I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding and smiled as she kissed me "even if I come home like that one day?" I gestured to Paul who let out an irritated yipping sound. Bella giggled then snorted "well as long as you let me put a bow in your hair..." suddenly her gaze turned to Paul "actually now I think of it..." Paul took off towards the house as fast as his little legs would carry him and Bella ran along behind teasing him about the bow.

I watched as they played. It made me feel a little better hearing her peals of laughter, but deep down I felt truly terrified of what I was becoming.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: Ok, don't panic if you don't have part 5 yet, I'll get them sent out asap along with part 6 for this chapter, but I got a minute to get the next chapter down so I thought I'd send it out straight away. Hopefully for those who were confused Bella's point of view should make more sense of it. As for those who asked if I was holding back chapters here's to show you I'm not, if I've got the time, you'll get the story. **

**Disclaimer: SM owes most, but fluffy-wuffy is mine!**

* * *

We got back home. I had finally caught up with Paul and scooped him up, he was just sooo cute I couldn't get over it. Billy was waiting near the door and looked at me in horror when I tried to hand Paul to him. "Can't he sit on a chair?" I huffed at Billy and settled Paul on a cushion. Jake just wandered out through the back door. I stood for a little while watching him. He was just staring into space as if the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders.

I had been terrified earlier when it had all started. I could see that something was wrong which was why I had asked Leah to get Charlie out fast, and of course her natural enthusiasm about the house made a perfect cover. Jake had been almost a blur by the time the door had banged behind them. I could feel Jake's pain and fear and my natural instinct had been to reach out and comfort him. But Michael had been fast, moving to prevent me. I had nearly passed out with shock when I saw the lion in front of me. I had become so used to Jake's wolf form it was almost second nature now, but to see him become something else was very unnerving. He had not been in control of the changes, that was for certain, because almost as soon as he had become one thing, he became something different. I lost track of what I saw, it was as if my brain could not process all of the information, but I definitely saw some kind of panther, a bear and then that amazing bird – a falcon maybe? It had almost been a relief when he collapsed.

Michael had been so fast to move him, carrying the bird…I still couldn't quite associate that form with MY Jake to his truck and driving off to the Lodge. I'd followed quickly behind with Harry and Billy, with Harry only briefly pausing to shout something down the phone. I had fussed around trying to make him as comfortable as possible ready for when he changed back, but it was really hard to look a this…this thing and try to accept that it was really him. When I finally saw his body begin to change back I had begun to cry quietly, wiping my face with my sleeves so he wouldn't see when he opened his eyes. I realised that this was probably what Emily and Kim had felt like in the beginning, whereas I'd always been completely comfortable with Jake's wolf, this was…well this wasn't so straight forward.

The Elders were chaotic, that was the only way to describe them, shouting and arguing amongst themselves. Quil and Embry had arrived quickly, with Jared soon after, all of them stopping to give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be ok. They had stepped to the side with Michael so that he could fill them in on everything, it seemed that the moment of stress had united everyone despite the outbursts and uncertainty earlier. I could hear them cussing a lot and the stress was palpable in the room but my attention had been solely focussed on Jake now he was back to his normal beautiful self. He had seemed so vulnerable when he woke up, so shaken and disturbed, I was almost glad that Paul had had his little 'incident' just to give everyone a bit of humour and breathing space. I shook my head at the little pink fluffy-wuffy as I came back in. I wonder if Jake will let me keep him if he can't get himself back to normal?

"Billy, do you want to get settled in?" I asked. Billy nodded, his face was etched with exhaustion. I wheeled him through "Did you want a soak in the tub?". "No, I don't think I could stay awake. I need to do some stretches though, I think the excitement has stiffened me up a bit". I helped him to transfer to the bed and arranged the pillows as Jake had shown me. As I rotated his ankle I asked "Did you know this was coming?" Billy frowned "not exactly, but I suspected it might" his voice dropped to a whisper "he's just so damned powerful, so much more than those that went before. It started with that mind talking stuff, that's not part of the usual package. Then all the other stuff that was going on Michael and Leah, your other vampires coming in to offer help, the spirits are preparing him for something big, I began to suspect they might give him more powerful shifting abilities too." I moved down to work on the knee joint, Billy was right he was very stiff. "Will he stop being a wolf?" Billy shook his head "I think the wolf will be his normal shift, but if he wants to be something different, like if he needs a particular skill or strength, he'll have the option. He'll just need to learn to control it all over again". I nodded trying to process it all. I worked Billy's knees slowly, gently pressing them back and forth.

"Bella, I don't know what to say to him anymore. I want to offer him guidance but I don't know the answers". Billy choked up and I set his leg down and scooted up next to him. I wrapped my arms around him as he started to cry. "All my life I've let him down Bella". I leaned back shocked. "What are you talking about Billy, he's perfect, and it's all thanks to you, you raised him". Billy shook his head "It's in spite of me, not because of me. Look at him, look how powerful he is, he deserves a strong father who he can lean on in times like this". Billy looked so tortured, I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my face. "Billy don't talk like this, you can't mean this". Billy gripped my hand "Bella I never told anyone, not even your father, but I tried to save her you know" I blinked, confused. "That accident, I never would have survived if it hadn't been for the wolf in my blood, like Paul's mom and that cancer, it pulled us through. I begged them to take my blood for her transfusion but they said I was in no fit state to donate, that there was plenty of blood in the hospital for a transfusion, but it wasn't good enough, I knew it wouldn't save her".

His face coloured and his eyes dropped to the floor. "I asked them to take Jacob's blood." He looked at me with shame in his eyes "He was a child Bella, and even then I was prepared to lean on him, I begged them to lean on him. They refused of course, thought I was crazy with grief. Someone bought him in to see her, to say goodbye, and I tried…I tried…" his sobs cut him off and I wrapped my arms around him again as he cried. I turned my head suddenly as I could feel Jake's presence as he stood at the door. "I remember" he whispered and Billy's head lifted with the shame clear on his face. "I remember you trying to hold me and…" Jake rubbed his wrist thoughtfully. "It was a nurse wasn't it…she stopped you". Jake moved to the bed. "Is that why we fight every year? Because you are ashamed of trying to save her?" Billy choked back the tears to answer "I shouldn't have done that, I should have been strong for you, they nearly took you away from me because they were worried I was a danger to you, why do you think they were crawling round here every five minutes?"

Jake shook his head "Feel no shame my father". His voice rang with strength, so different from the fear I had heard in him earlier. "My blood is your blood, is the blood of my sons and the blood of your father, you can feel no shame for taking what belongs to you". He leant down and kissed Billy on the forehead. "We will not fight again". He turned and left the room and I got Billy into his pyjamas in silence. Billy was almost asleep as I pulled the covers up, it had clearly been cathartic for him to get off his chest but I was worried that it might have been the last straw in Jake's extremely stressful day.

He was sat on the sofa staring blankly at the wall. Paul was still sitting on the cushion. I scooped him up again. "Come on fluffy-wuffy let's get you tucked up". I saw a little smile on Jake's lips and felt a glimmer of relief. "Should I put fluffy-wuffy in the spare room?" I asked Jake in a baby voice, and his smile grew wider although his eyes still seemed distant. Jake followed me as I carried Paul down to Jake's old room. This was certainly seeing a lot of guests at the moment. I pulled the covers over the little dog and smiled. Jake leaned in through the door "Goodnight fluffy-wuffy" he chuckled. Paul let out a tired yip and sank back onto the pillow.

I closed the door then suddenly realised that he wouldn't be able to open it with the handle so left it open a crack. Jake put his hand out "Come sit with me for a while?" he nodded outside. I slipped my hand in his and followed him out. There was a light drizzle falling now, typical Forks weather. Jake sat himself down on the ground some way from the house, resting his back against the stump. I climbed over him, straddling his legs and leaned my head on his chest, enjoying the warmth against the cold drizzle. "It's been a heavy day" I said quietly. I could feel him nod. I decided to try and keep the conversation light to start "Why do think Paul can't change?" Jake chuckled. "When you're a wolf you're a lot bigger so Sam taught us all to think 'small' when you wanted to change back. I think Paul's got himself in a muddle because you can't exactly think 'small' when you're only 10 inches high. It's like he's having to learn it all again. I expect once he goes to sleep his body will probably just phase back of it's own accord". I nodded, it made sense. "I'm sorry I snapped about the school thing, you've got a lot on your mind at the minute". He ran his fingers through my hair "No big deal, I just don't feel up to being around too many people at the moment, I kind of feel like it's taking all my energy not to drown". I squeezed him tightly. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Jake leaned his head back on the stump. "Tell me what to do, Bella. I'm lost and out of control and everyone is looking at me to be the answer, and the man I used to turn to doesn't want to talk to me, and my own father is afraid of me". I reached out to touch his face, tracing his jaw bone. I didn't know what the answers were either but I knew he needed some kind of help. "Where shall we start?". Jake pressed his lips to mine "Tell me what to do about …Jasper". He voice stuck a little as he said his name, I guess he wanted to call him a leech or a bloodsucker but was making the effort to be polite. I nodded "Ok, well you and Paul are already affected so I suggest only you two deal with him until everything is organised. Jake nodded and sat straighter. He was paying attention now. I began to realise that this is what he needed, just some help, some suggestions. He was going to have to do all the hard stuff but needed to feel like he wasn't alone, well I can do this, I just hope I don't get anything wrong.

"Now, clearly there is more power that the pack can tap into, not just you, although some of them might be a bit wary after they find out about Paul today". I let out another little giggle, I couldn't help myself it really was too funny. "Why don't you ask each of them if they want to have the extra ability, then if any of them do, you can build up their exposure to Jasper and then they'll know what to expect when it happens". He nodded, and I could see the sparkle of life coming back into his eyes "What about those that don't" he asked. I thought for a minute "Well then they'll need to be kept away from him, he staying at the house and that was far enough away that this didn't happen before, so all it means is that they won't be able to directly meet with him or attend the training". Jake nodded then frowned "but then they won't have the skills". I thought on this too then smiled "Well if those that don't want the extras still change at the same time, they'll be able to watch through the eyes of those that do". Jake smiled a bit. "You've got it all worked out haven't you". I smiled back and kissed him gently "Well I've got to prove myself haven't I, got to live up to the beloved of Alpha thing". His smile faded a little "You don't have to prove anything to me". He arms tightened around me "Just promise me you'll never leave me". I kissed him again gently "I promise".

We walked back into the house and I turned off the lights and closed the doors. He was already in bed as I crept in. My body still felt sore from our fun earlier but I felt he might need the intimacy to reassure himself so I didn't want to say anything. As I climbed into bed he arms wrapped round me and he slid down the bed resting his head on my stomach. I stroked his hair gently wondering whether to initiate something when I suddenly realised that his breathing had slowed and he was fast asleep. I leaned back on the pillow, still gently stroking his hair and wondered what sort of events tomorrow would bring.


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Wow - love the reviews, big thank you, and love your PM's too. Please please have PM enabled on your account otherwise I can't send you the backstory or answer your questions. Ok, so I know you'll all be too busy with the Eclipse screenings to read this but hey.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I just run amok with her characters.**

* * *

My eyes opened slowly and for a moment I felt quite disorientated. I also felt very very squished. Jake's head was still resting on my stomach with his arms wrapped around me but in his sleep state this had become a dead weight. I wiggled and squirmed gently trying not to disturb him. There was a scratching sound at the door and I realised that this was what had woken me. The scratching became more insistent as I tried to free myself. I eventually managed to slip out of the bed and padded over to the door. I pulled it open and gasped in surprise. "Oh no!" Paul was absolutely frantic and I moved quickly to the back door and tugged it open. He shot past me and out to the back yard. I sat down on the step. Jake had seemed convinced that Paul would have changed back in his sleep that it never occurred to me to consider the possibilities if he didn't. Poor little thing, he must have been bursting.

Paul trotted back over panting heavily and slumped by my feet with a whine. "Oh fluffy-wuffy what are we going to do with you?" He looked up at me with such a sad face so I rubbed his ears gently. This would be another major blow to Jake's confidence if we couldn't get Paul to change back. I breathed deeply. Ok Bella, time to think, you need to get this guy to change back so that Jake doesn't get upset. Think! I pondered hard, absent mindedly scratching Paul's ears. So Jake had said they had to imagine themselves smaller to get back from being a wolf. "Ok sweetie, give me one paw for a yes and two paws for a no ok?" I said with an air of confidence that I really wasn't feeling. Paul dutifully placed one paw in my hand. "Do you do the think 'smaller' thing to change back normally?" Up popped the one paw again. "Have you tried thinking 'bigger'?" One paw again, so that hadn't worked. I tried to imagine what Sam had been teaching them, I suppose the physical feeling of getting smaller, more human. "Did you try getting angry?". Paul cocked his head to one side. I 'hmpfed' at him "What? It helps you become a wolf". I let out a giggle. "Of course, we're trying to get you back to human, but why don't we try to get you wolf then human should be just straight forward". Paul let out a whine and wagged his tail eagerly.

We walked a way into the back yard. "Ok, so maybe if we try getting you cross". I took a deep breath. "You suck Paul, you're mean and I hate you!" A roar of laughter came from the back of the house and I turned to see Jake leaning against the frame. "Now that was worth getting out of bed for" he laughed. He turned his attention to Paul "What did you just call me? You kiss your mother with that mouth do you?" Paul was now yipping furiously at Jake. "Well why don't I just bend down and you can kiss mine then?" Jake retorted. "Jake!" I admonished. He grinned sheepishly "He started it!" He wandered over rubbing his eyes "but seriously Bells, he's already furious, I don't think it's going to work". He put his arm round my shoulders and I kissed his chest. I tried to think of things they had mentioned in the teaching books I had been reading. "I've got it - let's VAK you". Jake looked at me in alarm. I shook my head "I don't know what on earth YOU are thinking of, but I'm not even going to go there. It's a learning style assessment, so I work out the best way to help him". I knelt down on the floor. "Paul I need to establish how you process information best so that I can work out how to instruct you". He sat down on his hind legs and seemed to focus his attention. "There are three methods – visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. Do you know which is your preferred style?" He looked at me blankly. I turned my head, Jake was also looking at me blankly. He shrugged his shoulders "He doesn't have a clue what you're talking about, neither do I".

"Ok, what's your hobby Paul, your favourite thing to do when you have time?" Jake cringed "That's just nasty bro". I looked at him and then realised that this was Paul we were talking about. I swatted his little pink behind with my hand "Don't be disgusting!" He yipped a little. "Ok, well thinking about…that…" I paused, I am such a poor excuse for a teacher, I'm going to have no discipline in my classroom at all. I took a deep breath and continued "Do you prefer to look at pictures of…it…, listen to people talk about…it, or thinking about actually…doing it…". I was bright red by the time I got the words out. Jake chuckled "He likes the pictures best". I took another deep breath "Ok, that suggests you are a visual leaner. You learn best when you have images to guide you". Jake began snorting with laughter. I stood up "Oh for goodness sake the pair of you!" I went back into the house and looked around for some inspiration. Then I noticed on the wall above the fireplace there was a wooden relief carving of a wolf. I hadn't really registered it before. I unclipped it from its hanger and carried it outside.

I leant it against the bottom of the tree stump where Jake and I had sat yesterday. Then picked Paul up and sat him in front of it. "Ok, you can see the wolf. There is nothing but the wolf. See the wolf in your mind. See its paws, its legs, its fur. See the wolf inside you. See your wolf." I said quietly. I stepped back carefully to by Jake's side and listened as the fast little pants of the dog became slower deeper breaths, the breaths sounded almost too big for the little body. Then suddenly the edges of the pink fluff began to blur and Jake tucked me behind his back. It was only a short time before Paul's wolf was standing in front of us. He let out a howl. Jake shrugged "Look I know you're pissed, go kill something and I'll see you back here in an hour or so". Paul shot off into the woods and I felt a little hurt that he hadn't even said thank you. Jake turned round to face me. "You are amazing you know that?" He kissed me on the forehead. "Don't worry, he just really needs to make himself feel a bit more you know...not pink and fluffy again". Jake stood still for a minute, his chin resting on the top of his head while he hugged me.

"Do you think you can teach me?" I leaned back and looked at him in surprise. "Me…" I stuttered. "I don't know anything about it…I'm the last person…" he hugged me tightly. "Bella, you're the only person. You're the one that can take the books written for teaching in the classroom and get a pack of wolves to understand the plot themes of Macbeth, teach a poodle how to become a wolf, there's only you". I sighed quietly. I so wanted Jake to be as proud of me as I am of him. I nodded slowly. "Ok, let's give this a try". I sat down on the floor and he sat in front of me. "Ok, so my truck isn't working. You pop the hood, do you look at the engine to see what doesn't look right, do you try and turn the engine so you can hear the sounds it makes, or do you think about the engine and try to figure out from the inside?" Jake leaned back on his elbows. "I pop the hood", he paused, "I close my eyes for a moment and try to follow it, the starter, the pistons, the flow of the gas. I guess it's inside my mind. Then I check each of the points on the route until I can find the problem." I smiled "That's kinaesthetic, you try to imagine the feeling of doing, in this case what the engine is doing. You don't pick up a car manual and follow the instructions, you pick up the part and try to figure out how it works". He nodded with a smile "yep that sounds like me".

"That fits with what Sam taught you, the idea of thinking smaller. You found it easy to change back from a wolf at the beginning didn't you?" He smiled again "Oh yeah, not like Embry!" "Do you want to try now?" He stood up and put his hand out to me to help me up and slipped off his boxers. I was so glad they didn't have any neighbours. I tried really hard not to distract myself by enjoying just how good he looked. "Bella, I want you to give me a lot more space than you usually do. I'm no where near in control of this yet". I nodded and sat back on the stump and he moved quite a way back. "Ok, I want you to imagine a bear. Feel his height, how tall he is when he stands up. How powerful and strong the legs are. Feel how heavy you are. Feel the claws. Feel the strength". I pulled my legs up to my chin and watched as Jake closed his eyes. He stood tall, his breathing slowing. I watched as the shimmer became a blur and then let out a tiny gasp as he took on the shape of a bear. He stood still for a bit, then made a small movement with his feet. I realised he was trying to establish his sense of gravity. He looked towards me "Ok, good, can you go back to human? Try to feel normal, feel like yourself again". He began to blur but instead of becoming Jake again I could distinctly see him change through into a wolf shape before his human appearance became visible. He shook his head and frowned "I got in ok, what you were saying was really cool, but getting out is a lot harder". I stood up and wrapped my arms around him "But that's ok, maybe that's the best way for the minute for both of you, use the wolf as the stepping stone. I mean you didn't settle into the wolf, just passed through it on the way". I hugged him again "So what does bear feel like". Jake rubbed his hair "Odd, really heavy and clumpy, it's very strong through, a lot of power." I smiled, if I could help like this, maybe he'd get more comfortable with things sooner.

"How about we put together a kind of journal or a workbook maybe, you could try and work out what is the best trigger for the animal and then we can note down what its strengths and weaknesses are, and situations it might be useful for. I mean after a while it will probably be second nature but for the minute it might be helpful, also if you are training others". Jake kissed my head "Now see I never would have thought of that". I smiled again pleased with myself. "Do you want to try anything else and then I'll get breakfast". Jake nodded "Just one more ok, something harder maybe?" I settled myself back on the stump "Ohhh…I've got it, ready? You might want to lie down for this one". Jake lay down on the ground, raising an eyebrow to me. "Feel yourself getting longer, feel your arms disappearing, feel your skin covered in scales. Feel how your body becomes the snake." I tucked my legs back up. This was a challenge for me as well. I'd always been quite frightened of snakes, but I needed to accept Jake in every form. I watched as his body began to change, foot by foot, growing and elongating. I watched as he twisted on the ground. I could feel my skin begin to crawl oh God, this wasn't just a snake this was some kind of giant anaconda out of a terrible horror movie. He was huge, 40ft, 50ft I didn't know, my mind barely functioning right now.

He switched back, first through wolf then back to himself and rushed over to push his arms around me. He frowned "Why did you do that to yourself?" I sighed, burying myself in his chest "I want to teach myself to not fear whatever you change into, even if normally it would frighten me". "I don't want to frighten you" he whispered. I nodded "But you are going to, and we both need to be ok with that. I mean what if we are somewhere and you need to change into something to protect me, or Billy or something. I don't want to be freaking out and complicating matters. So if I work through my fear here, where we're safe them when it matters I'll be all ready". Jake swung me up into his arms and walked back to the house "Only you could think like that you know." I shrugged my shoulders.

We came up to the house and Billy was rolled up close to the door. "Was there just a great freakin' snake in my yard?" Jake chuckled "Cool huh?" He patted Jake's arm "Very cool son". I loved the way that no matter what went on between them, they never let it hang over them. I felt like I needed to get some time with Billy today though in case there was more he needed to get off his chest. "Ok, who's hungry?" I hummed happily as I rustled up breakfast. There was a bang at the door and Paul strode in, he still looked very disturbed. "Not a word, not a single mother…" "Paul!" I interrupted and pointed to the chair. He slumped into the chair. I served up the plates and leaned against the counter. I nibbled on a piece of toast, still feeling a bit unsettled from earlier, whilst the guys chowed down on their eggs. "So what's the plans for today?" I asked. Billy smiled "Game!" Jake and Paul mumbled "Jasper" and "leech" respectively with their mouths full. I nodded "Are you here for the game Billy?" He shook his head, chewing and trying to swallow politely before speaking "Flatscreen". Ah, that meant Charlie's. I wondered for a minute. "Perhaps Leah and I could come over with you, start doing some planning. It would be good to get some more of my things together. Would that be ok with you Jake?" Jake looked up from his plate, and looked thoughtful for a moment, "Michael" he mumbled before scooping in another mouthful. I served the rest of the eggs up to him and Paul., I really wasn't in the mood for them, perhaps I could pick up some nice fruit from Sue on the way, I saw some left over from yesterday. "Ok sweetheart, we'll take Michael with us, he'll probably want to watch the game too". There was a grunt from them all in response.

I picked up the phone and dialled Leah's number. It was answered on the second ring by Sue. I heard Leah bouncing down the stairs to the phone and quickly relayed the idea. "I love it" she squealed. We'll pick you guys up just before lunch". I was just about to hang up the phone then I thought "Hey Leah, how about we invite Angela over too". "I love that too, in fact I just love everything this morning" Leah laughed "I'll call her now". I kissed the top of Jake's head as he carried on eating and headed off to the shower. Today was going to be a good day, I was sure of it.


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: Thank you for your lovely reviews, and your great PM's about the back story, I was stunned to notice that I am moving towards 2k reviews, how unbelieveable is that, you guys absolutely rock. I feel like I should have a little party to celebrate if I do ever get there! But instead what I decided is that which ever person leaves review 2,000 I will write you a personal one-shot. What ever you want, whatever characters you want, whatever rating you want. So you can either go back and review chapters you missed, or just review all the 58 chapters in one go if you haven't left any reviews at all, but number 2,000 will get the one-shot chapter of their choice, either related to Unexplained Connection or something completely different.**

**Disclaimer: If SM recognises any of her characters anymore she's welcome to claim them, otherwise I'll just keep having fun with them!**

* * *

[JPOV]

I sat, quietly stunned. I fully expected that the moment the leech's name had crossed my lips then Bella would have been itching to join us today. But instead, she just seemed…well frankly uninterested. It wasn't that it bothered me, I mean in actual fact in was really quite cool that she wasn't jumping up and down for the leeches but it was just odd. It also wasn't the fact that she wanted to do something that didn't involve me. I love spending time with her but I also like that she has her own things that's she's interested in. I wouldn't want her to feel like she can't just go and do what pleases her, well as long as she's safe and protected that is. I mean I feel like I dominate a lot of her life now, she's moved in here, she had to give up that job with what-his-face because of tutoring the pack, and her college stuff is all about the res too, so I am fine with her doing her own thing, really I am, so why do I feel so 'not fine' about it?

Maybe it's just the stress of the last couple of days, I've got a lot to deal with getting my head around this new leech-alliance, and the whole shapeshifting thing too. That must be it, I'm not a clingy guy, that wouldn't be cool, it might even remind her of…him… not good, definitely don't want to go there. Ok, too much thinking, brain hurts now. No clinging, even if I do feel really over-protective right now, like I just want to wrap her up in a blanket and carry her round with me all day. Ok Jake, enough! Got a war to plan, man up!

I threw myself together and got Paul moving, he'd been whispering away to Bella while I was having a wash and I knew whatever it was he was trying to keep it out of my earshot. I could have listened in but I left them to it. She'd had a huge grin on her face so it seemed that he had said his thank yous and that was cool with me.

We jogged over to the leech house, this place still sets off alarm bells in my mind but there were no further scents so it appeared that Jasper had not had any other visitors. He opened the door as we approached and I noticed that his face fell slightly when he saw that it was just the two of us. I stopped in my tracks as I saw him try to cover his disappointment. Paul paused two strides on when he noticed I was no longer walking and I eyed Jasper carefully. Why was he disappointed? Did he expect me to bring the whole pack this morning? Did he want to know our numbers, how strong we were?

His expression shifted again becoming more open and he put his hands up in a gesture of submission. "Alpha Black, your distrust is palpable, will you allow me to explain?" he asked calmly. There was something in his tone that made me more tolerant. I checked my emotions, aware of what he had done the other night, no I'm pretty much certain that it's me that's feeling ok, wow this was too weird to try to process. I motioned for him to continue while I kept monitoring myself for any unexpected shifts in my emotions. He stood still and placed his hands to his sides, his solider training evident, "my expression was merely related to Bella's absence, nothing more". I tilted my head and spoke slightly mockingly "You have bloodbag intentions for my woman too?" Paul looked at me in shock and Jasper began to laugh.

"Lord no Alpha Black, I'm not stupid enough to bring down the vengeance of a wolf pack on myself. It's just well…she feels nice" he shrugged. I smiled, I could relate to that and I'm not a weird emotion sensing and twisting type person. I nodded "Yeah, she does, doesn't she, and its Jake, the Alpha Black thing is cool but it's a bit formal for me". I took a seat on the grass facing Jasper "so what does she feel like to you?" It was Jasper's turn to smile, "The happiness just slips all over you like a warm bath, it's like being cradled by your mother, embraced by your lover and holding an innocent child in your arms all at once, it just feels so good, so right". I noticed how he wrapped his arms around himself as he spoke and I could tell once again that he was used to the comfort of a mate by his side. "Will she be joining you?" I asked, Jasper looked surprised, "your mate I mean?". He shook his head and looked to the floor. "It's best she doesn't, if things go badly she might feel she was being forced to chose sides, and she is very close to him. She could get hurt by being caught in the middle". Again, I definitely could relate to that idea.

"So where does she think you are?" I asked. Jasper chuckled "Well she's doing the fashion shows in Milan, Paris and London, so that should keep her very occupied and a safe distance away and she thinks I'm visiting some old friends down near the border". Paul piped up suddenly "but isn't she like the Oracle one? Won't she know?" Good point I thought and turned my attention back to Jasper who was shaking his head "She doesn't approve of these particular friends, so she certainly won't go looking for anything whilst she thinks I'm with them, she'd definitely prefer not to catch any glimpses of them or their activities". I felt a twinge in my stomach "they drain humans don't they". Jasper shrugged and nodded "Alice has never touched a drop in her time so she can be a little intolerant of others". I leaned back on my elbows, intolerant, well there was a polite way of putting it.

We were interrupted by a noise and Jasper leapt to his feet in a defensive crouch. I recognised the scent immediately and pulled myself up "Quil, Embry, what are you doing here?" I barked at them, "You know what Bella said about over-exposure to the leeches". I turned and raised my hand in a gesture of apology to Jasper. Both of them were grinning at me like idiots. Quil was the first to speak "Yeah dude, that's why were here, want to get my animal mojo going on!" Embry joined in "Yeah, like maybe I can be a shark and it would be like something out of Jaws". He put his hand up on his head and began darting around "durnnnnnt-duuurrrnnnnt.-durnt-durnt-durnt". I palm-slapped my face as Jasper looked on in bemusement. Quil started in "Yeah, and I can be an alligator", he made large arm jaws and began snapping around "Yeah…a poodle-eating alligator!" He snapped his arms at Paul who immediately punched him and soon they were rolling around on the ground.

Jasper continued to look at me with raised eyebrows. I walked off to the side as Embry dive bombed on to the top of the heap of bodies. Jasper walked over and sat down next to me "Is there something I should know about?" I sighed deeply, what a bunch of idiots, what if I hadn't wanted him to know?. "Being around you caused Paul and myself to shift into more than wolves" I said calmly, despite the uncomfortable flutter it made in my stomach. Jasper looked shocked "so I'm keeping the rest away until they make a decision on whether they want the extra power or not. It would appear that these morons have already decided". Jasper frowned "Do I have to do anything to them?" he looked unsettled. I shook my hand "Nah, it appears it will just happen by itself from being around you, well so Bella thinks". He nodded as if this was a perfectly normal conversation and watched the brawling trio. "Do you want them calmed down?" he asked.

"What was the dose you gave Paul yesterday?" Jasper smiled "friendship, brotherly love, that kind of thing". "What else do you have?" I asked. He grinned widely "how open-minded are you?" I grimaced as I picked up on his insinuation, "closed, very very closed minded, caveman level closed in fact". He nodded and shrugged "ok, but it's funny, Emmett still won't go into a locker room after an incident about three schools back". He thought for a minute "what about adoration, religious devotion?" I nodded "alright let's see how good you are". His eyes glazed over slightly as he focussed on the brawling trio "it's harder with you all, especially in numbers, humans are much easier to manipulate" he whispered as he concentrated. The brawling stopped and Embry was gazing at Paul like he was a shining star. Paul dropped to his knees and began to pray before Quil, who was waving his arms in the style of the Dance of the Spirits towards Embry. I smiled, this was going to be quite a useful party trick. "One thing I need to make clear right now Jasper" I said seriously "you pull this stuff on me or Bella at any point and I will separate your head from your body". He nodded "duly noted".

"Alright morons knock it off" I said loudly and watched the confusion appear in each of them as they straightened up, Paul looked particularly horrified as he realised what had happened again "That's blasphemey - I'm telling Bella you did that!". "Enough time wasting, phase in and let's start training" I barked at him, what a mummy's boy! I sat back and watched as Jasper began to drill them. I immediately realised how beneficial his input was. He was definitely highly trained, and despite how odd it was that he had been trained to assassinate his own kind, I wasn't going to loose any sleep over it. I was definitely going to make use of these skills.

After several hours I called time and sent them on a food hunt. I phased in and faced up to Jasper. Alright, let's see what you are really made of. I had watched hard whilst he was drilling the others, but he surprised me a number of times with even more advanced moves. Harder and harder I was pushing myself, relentless in the attack. I loved this, this was absolutely amazing. We had left the area around the house and were flying through the woods. I began to realise how much the leeches used the trees, scrambling up and down and leaping around. In wolf form we were limited to the ground and what we could jump up to. I began to see how it all worked, as if everything made sense. Face to face combat with them was the least of our concerns as they were more likely to use evasion as a technique. I paused on the ground. I had briefly lost sight of him and his scent trail did not make sense. I drew myself inside, and reached out through the life of the forest, tracing the flow of energy until the interruption was clear.

I stared directly up and could make him out at the top of the tall trees. I pooled the energy inside me and wished for the capacity to get up there. I heard Bella's advice in my head as I began to imagine the wings, the strength to rise, to attack him. I felt the shift and the sudden rush of air as I propelled myself upwards. I didn't want to look down, really I didn't. I was huge, I could tell that by the way the smaller branches waved about in response the beating of my arms, well my wings, no still too odd, don't think about it, just attack. I reached the top of the trees in barely a few seconds and Jasper looked both shocked and dismayed. I reached out to strike him and suddenly dropped several feet until I realised that there was no punching ability in this form. Jasper was beginning to scramble down the trunk quickly and I reached out to grab him with my feet instead. The tearing sound echoed through the trees and a huge chunk of Jasper's upper arm was suddenly attached to my feet, well talons, oh crap razor sharp talons, hadn't exactly thought of that.

Jasper's expression was murderous and I swooped downwards quickly to drop out of his reach. I landed clumsily back on the floor and began to concentrate on the feelings of being a wolf as I shifted back through. He landed back on the ground a few moments later and grabbed the chunk of flesh from between my feet. I shifted back into human form "Dude, I am really sorry, I just meant to pull you off a bit not well…." I trailed off, firstly not hugely comfortable apologising to a leech and then well that do you say about ripping lumps out of people?

Jasper was scowling as he sat down. "It will heal but it takes time to fuse" he manoeuvred the lump back into place "does it look even?" I walked around to his back and nodded "as far as I can tell". He frowned again "Alice gets very uppity about scars, I've got too many already, I hope talons don't scar". He looked at me pointedly "I try very hard not to get any new ones, can we agree no emotional manipulation on yourself or Bella in exchange for no gouging, tearing or ripping?" I laughed, we really were whipped by our women despite being supernatural soldiers. "Sounds like a deal, but how will you train them if you are worried about that?" Jasper laughed "Your pack are good, but they are not as good as me, I'll be safe during their training. But yours on the other hand, well we'll need a gentlemen's agreement about the rules of combat".

I grinned "So you saying that you think I'm good enough to beat you then?" He looked at me seriously "There's no doubt about it, I was researching your histories last night on the internet, looking at folklore and tribal stories. Now some of them, the one's I saw the other evening for example, they fit the concept of your stories 'Protectors' I believe you call them. They would be what I consider the home guard, they can attack but their responses are defensively orientated, they will attack to defend if that makes sense to you. Now yourself, and the other three I saw today, your make-up is very different, your fighting stance is different, everything about you four is different. You are the invading front, you seek the war and destroy the threat, you don't wait for it to come to you". I sat back and considered this for a while in silence. Did this make sense? Did I have a 'home guard' and an 'invading front'? Well, I suppose if you look at who we were and how we were, Leah, Michael and Seth made a perfect home guard. Essentially they were a family, every element about them tied them together and to protecting the res. Leah was already on altered duties as Bella's personal protection, I had no idea what to do with Michael other than keep him near Leah and home and Seth was too young to be out in warfare constantly, Sue would never forgive me if any harm came to him.

That gave me Paul, Quil and Embry, all now with the additional exposure that would open up the shapeshifting options. So if the Clearwater group were the Protectors, what were we? Did that mean we were...the Destroyers then? That our role was to hunt out the leeches and destroy them systematically? And what of Jared? What was he going to want to do? He had suggested that he would follow whatever was required of him. He would need to make a choice, would he remain with the Protectors or was he going to be a Destroyer? I felt a sudden chill come over me, what was Sam going to want? Was he ever coming back, the sadness ate at me, should I find him? Tell him that I might be splitting the roles, offer for him to be part of the Destroyers so that he wouldn't need to work directly with Michael and Leah, should I try to reach him with my mind, even though he'd asked me not to?

Jasper moved suddenly, flexing his reformed arm and it brought me back to the moment, and the fact that my stomach was grumbling loudly. "Ok, let's call time, I need to eat". Jasper nodded and we began to head back towards the house.


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: Ok, wow! Over 2k reviews, I'm just blown away. My biggest problem is that the fanfiction website won't show me anything after 1,977. I've tried on three different computers but I just don't know what's happening. So if you are lucky number 2,000 and you can see it on your screen, do PM me with your one-shot request. I have sent out the part 8 back story to all those who I could see had reviewed, if I've missed you out by accident again, do drop me a PM and let me know. I've waited several days in the hopes that it would get fixed, but have decided that the update can wait no longer!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor it's characters, so you can't blame me if they are naughty from time to time!**

* * *

I weaved my way around the kitchen tidying up after them all. I piled the plates in the sink and let the bowl start to fill. My mind was drifting through everything when a tug on my shirt bought me back to reality. I glanced over my shoulder. Paul had hold of the hem of my shirt and was twisting it round his thumb as he stared at the floor. He raised his eyes shyly. "I'm sorry I didn't say thank you before" he said quietly as he let go of my shirt. I rubbed his arm affectionately "Oh Paulie, that's ok, it has been a bit stressful for you hasn't it, I'm just pleased you got everything sorted out". I smiled. He looked at the floor again "Are you? It's just…" his voice trailed off into a whisper and I didn't catch his words. I tried to catch his gaze "sorry what?" He looked to the floor again "you seem to like me a lot as …you know". He picked at the edge of the table. "Oh Paulie, I like you just fine as you are too, I just never got a chance to have a puppy when I was little and I always wanted one, and you were just so precious and fluffy". I reached up and rubbed his hair. He lowered his voice even further and I had to strain to listen "If you want, every once in a while, I could…but just between us, you could never ever tell Leah". I giggled loudly and gave him a hug. "I promise not to tell Leah!" I whispered back, still laughing.

He wandered off to the tv and I set to the dishes. Billy looked at me in disbelief "You have them wrapped round your little finger don't you" he smiled. I giggled again and then headed off to get the laundry started. I loaded the machine and then ran Billy's bath for him. I felt like Wendy in Peter Pan sometimes, surrounded by the lost boys, all needing a mother figure, when I'm barely old enough to take care of myself. After seeing Jake and Paul off I helped Billy into the bath. "How are you doing today?" I asked seriously once I was sure the guys were out of hearing range. I began cleaning the bathroom so that Billy didn't feel like I was watching him. Billy sighed "I'm sorry for getting out of sorts yesterday, it just all took me by surprise". I nodded as I tidied. "Did Jake tell you that Sarah's anniversary was coming up?" I sat down on the stool, "he mentioned it a while ago, but didn't tell me when it was specifically". Billy sighed again "I get all a bit sideways around this time, can't stop myself from bringing up things that should be just left alone". I reached out for his hand "Everybody handles things there own way, I mean I know it doesn't even compare but I know I was a complete zombie and I hadn't gone through anything nearly as traumatic".

Billy nodded "I'm just pleased you let that boy of mine take care of you when you needed it". I leaned back against the wall and thought for a moment. "Billy, do you think maybe the spirits had something to do with that too?" Billy looked at me in surprise. "What do you mean?" I leant forward resting my elbows on my knees. "Well I'm starting to learn that everything is connected. I mean what if meeting the Cullens, being with Edward was meant to prepare me, make me ready for Jake, ready to help him be Alpha. I mean what if it was to get me over the initial weirdness factor so that I didn't freak out. Otherwise, I mean I'm just Bella Swan from Phoenix, but instead by the time Jake phased for the first time I already understood the idea of supernatural beings, I've got insight into the life of a vampire and I've seen the danger that they can pose." I turned over my wrist and rubbed the mark "I've had time to realise how important life is and how fragile it is".

Billy nodded, looking ever bit the wise Elder "I think you understand the Spirits a lot better than those who were born into them. How much they plan, how much is just coincidence, we never can tell, but there is something about you Bella Swan from Phoenix, that makes you just right for all of this." He paused and smiled "Now let's get me finished up before I wrinkle like a prune."

I continued cleaning and tidying as Billy got himself organised after the bath, knocking politely after a while to see if he was ready for his clothes. As I was putting his socks on Billy cleared his throat slightly. "Bella, can you sit for a minute?" I put down the shoe I was holding and sat on the edge of the bed. "You asked me the other day about things I'm not telling Jake". I inhaled sharply as I looked at him "well something has come up over the last few days that I haven't mentioned to Jake and I don't intend to just yet. He's got enough on his plate at the minute". I looked at his sternly "I won't lie to him, whatever it is that you are going to say, know that I won't lie to him". He shook his head rapidly "I would never ask you to, I just want you to know so that hopefully you can distract him if it comes up". My mind was racing and I felt a bit sick. "It's just with the anniversary, normally his sisters will make contact and Becs will of course anyway, but I had a call from Rachel's landlord the other day and it seems she skipped out on him leaving him high and dry on the rent. Well I made contact with the school and found out she'd quit a while back, but because she's an adult, well I guess nobody felt they had to tell me." I looked at him in shock "Do you think something has happened to her?" Billy smiled glumly and shook his head again "Oh no, nothing like that, Rachel is more at risk from her own wildness than anybody or anything else. No, I think she'll turn up eventually, when the money runs out, or whatever guy she's fallen for this time gets tired of her." Billy sighed "She's not a bad girl Bella, but after I lost Sarah, well I don't know what happened with the girls, Becs handled it one way, married young, kids, family, but Rachel went the other path. She'll find her way back to us, but until she does I just want to try and keep Jake off the subject, if you know what I mean, especially if he's expecting her to make contact".

I sighed and picked up his shoe again. I could understand his point, and it wasn't exactly a huge matter, and it probably would stress Jake out if he knew about it. I looked back at Billy as I did up his laces "And is that all, the last of the secrets?" Billy let out a huge laugh and patted my head as I put the other shoe on "Bella, I'm an old old man and I'm full of secrets and stories, and in time I promise you I will tell you them all, but some things are like Christmas presents, where would the fun be if I told you what was inside?" I hmpfed at him. I could do without any further surprises at present, but at least he was being more honest with me so I wouldn't push it at the moment.

I heard the crunch of tyres outside and went to find my shoes. Michael and Leah wandered in and there were hugs all round. Leah squeezed me tightly "How are you holding up?" I smiled "I'm good with weird remember". We loaded up in Michael's truck and headed down to the house. It was strange, with everything I had learnt yesterday I didn't really consider it to be Charlie's anymore. I must make a point of asking to see the infamous bachelor pad. Once the guys were all settled in front of the game, Leah picked up a number of cartons from the back of the truck. We went straight up to my old room and I got stuck into boxing up all of my belongings. I started with the computer, I would need to find a spot for it, probably in the corner of the front room, but it would come in very handy to have it for school. "Bella", Leah interrupted my thoughts "do you want us to keep this room as it is?" I looked at her strangely "for what?" Leah smiled "remember Charlie wants you to have the escape option". I laughed, "as if I would want to be away from Jake for anything! No, I want you to decorate any way you feel, I mean judging by the looks you two can't stop giving each other you might need this as a nursery in the next few years!".

Leah sat down suddenly and stared at me "Bella, didn't Jake tell you, I don't know if I can have kids, I mean my cycle stopped when I phased". I pushed her shoulder "No way, what did you tell me yesterday about the imprinting? What did you see?" Her eyes went huge and she clapped her hand over her mouth "I totally forgot, I didn't connect that to this, I know that doesn't make any sense but I really didn't. Bella I ..I mean we…haven't been using any protection because I just assumed…" She looked quite stunned. "Jake said something about tracking the smell, I presume the fertility cycle or something". She looked at me and frowned "but if I'm not getting the whole monthly thing then how do I?…Do you count the days round just to make sure he's got it right?" I was the one frowning now "No, I guess I haven't exactly been paying much attention, tell you what in study hall tomorrow we'll have to sit down and work it out from when you last remember and then work out an approximate cycle for you." I suddenly had an idea "Or maybe your mom has some of those hormone test things that women who want to have a baby use". Leah looked at me as if I'd suggested she adopt fluffy-wuffy. "You want me to ask my mom to measure my hormone levels so I can get my freak on, seriously Bella, do you know how nasty that conversation would be?"

We laughed at the thought of Sue and her shotgun again, even though she was over the moon about the imprinting I'm sure Sue would want Leah to actually finish school this time. "What about if you made it into a quiet study area, and just kept a fold-up bed in the closest for any overnight guests?" Leah nodded, "that could work, I mean it's already got the bookshelves". "Say, what happened to Angela?" I asked, suddenly remembering that she was going to join us. Leah chuckled "My little brother happened! She turned up as we were getting ready to leave and suddenly he has an urgent report due tomorrow that he can't possible do without her help. The kid nearly fell over himself with delight when she agreed to stay and help him."

I headed down stairs and began fixing some snacks for everybody. Popping my head round the corner I caught Charlie's attention. "My stuff didn't take up all the boxes Leah bought, do you want me to put some of your clothes and things in them so you can take them back to your real home", I raised my eyebrows pointedly as I stressed the words and Charlie pulled himself out of the chair and came to my side "You're not mad at me kiddo are you?" I gave him a squeeze "Of course not, just a little shocked that nobody mentioned it, that's all. Can I come and see it sometime?" Charlie looked at me intently "Bella, you will always be my baby girl, and the door will always be open to you. It's just that, and don't ask me why because letting my little girl live in sin with a high school kid isn't what I had planned for my career as a parent, but this thing with you and Jake, it just feels right to me. Like it's the way it should be. Or maybe I'm just a silly old fool but I just feel there is nowhere safer in the world for you to be". He kissed my forehead and a shout from the others made him rush back to the game.

Leah was emptying out a cupboard in the hall and I started putting some of Charlie's clothes into the box. As I turned to put yet another fishing shirt in the pile something caught my eye out of Charlie's window. I walked over to the glass and looked carefully at the trees, then I saw it again. The wolf was one of the larger ones, too big to be Quil, Embry or Seth. Michael was downstairs, it certainly wasn't Paul or Jake. That left who, just Jared…or was it…?

I rushed to the hall almost tumbling over the box Leah was working on and got close to her ear. I didn't want to risk saying it out loud and having Michael get stressed again. "Leah what colour is Sam?" I whispered as quietly as I could. Her eyes flashed to mine and I gestured to the window. She headed over and looked out, her breath catching as she did so. She grabbed my hand and lifted me quietly down the stairs, we crept past to the kitchen and out the back door. She sat me down on the step and gestured for me to stay put. Glancing around she slipped off the dress and phased moving quickly into the trees. There was a sudden whine and I rushed forward into the trees. The two wolves were circling each other, it didn't look right, even to me it didn't look right and as Leah's body began to constrict back into human form the Sam wolf stopped right in front of me, his eyes were focussed on me, staring deep into me.

Leah had barely had the chance to move in front of me before he had spun and shot off into the forest. She looked at me in alarm, shaking her head. "I couldn't hear him, I couldn't hear him at all". I picked the dress up off the ground and pulled it over her head, she seemed frozen with shock "What do you mean you couldn't hear him? Was he blocking you in some way?" Leah shook her head "No, I mean he's not there at all, there's no connection, it was silent, as if no one else was phased". My body felt cold, really cold "Leah, call Jake now, right now". Leah seemed to stiffen even more as she whispered his name. I put my arms around her as she began to shiver. "Is he coming, what did he say?" She nodded "They're not far, he's with Paul, Quil and Embry. He's got the leech with him, he wants him to stay back so he doesn't affect me". Suddenly Michael appeared behind us making me jump "You were afraid, what happened?" Leah curled into his side. Barely seconds passed before the four wolves hurtled in, Jake phasing out quickly.

"What happened with Sam?" Jake's tone was serious and powerful. Leah continued to shiver "It's like he wasn't there, like I had imagined him, if Bella hadn't seen him I would have thought I made it up, Jake he wasn't there, there were no thoughts". Jake looked pained and he reached for my hand. I crossed to stand by his side and felt him tense as he tried to seek Sam out. After a few quiet seconds he gasped "I can't find him, I can't see him or connect to him". Michael suddenly let out a growl and began to shake. Jake's head spun round "I told you to stay back" he barked. "Michael, Leah move as far as you can over there and still hear me, I don't want you in the same space".

I turned and saw Jasper with a worried expression. "Who is lost?" he asked. Leah retorted angrily "it's none of your business leech". Jake raised his hand and narrowed his eyes at her. "I cannot access the mind of one of my pack, he has been away for some days, there was a …a disagreement when he came back yesterday". Jasper looked horrified "He has been outside the treaty line, does he have any vulnerabilities?" Jake looked at him intently "His imprint was with him, but he did not return with her yesterday, he left her at the cabin". Jasper's lips curled and slammed his fist into a tree, punching a hole deep into the trunk . "She has been captured and he has been turned against you". Leah cried out in shock "No he'd never turn his back on the pack, it's not that…it can't be that, he's one of us". Jasper regarded her with disgust "It stands to reason doesn't it, if he mind cannot be accessed by you, then he doesn't belong to you". I looked at Jake in fear, this can't be happening but his eyes were dark and angry. Leah was crying now "he wouldn't turn on us, he wouldn't". Jasper cut her off "Alpha Black, what would he sacrifice for his imprint? What would you sacrifice for yours?" Jake looked at me and his voice was barely a whisper "anything".

Leah howled and phased, Michael a second behind her and they both charged away. "Jared" he spoke quietly "take Kim to the Clearwater's, do not leave her alone". Suddenly his face crumpled and I gasped as it did so. Jake turned to Jasper "He knew. He's felt compelled to hold on to her all day long, as if he couldn't bear the thought of being away from her." Jasper snarled "You need to go after your wolves, she is too fearful to be effective". Jake twisted "Quil, Embry go now follow her trail, she will lead you right to the cabin". Jasper stared at Jake intently, "They may be running to their slaughter, you know you are the only one strong enough to take him out". Jake growled menacingly, his hold on my arm tightening as Jasper spoke again "You can trust me Alpha Black, I will protect her". Jake was shaking with rage. "Paul, stay close to her, and no matter what happens, you do not phase back to human".

I threw my arms around him "Find Emily, bring them home safely, I'll be fine". I gripped his hair and kissed him hard even as the shaking was taking over, then stepped back and he phased completely. I walked back into the house leaving a wolf and a vampire standing by the trees. Luckily Charlie was in the bathroom. I rushed to Billy's side. "The pack has had to go, Paul is with me but I can't take Jasper back to the res. I'm going to take the truck, can you say that I've gone with Leah and Michael to start shifting the stuff?" Billy nodded and gestured for me to go quickly.

I jumped into the truck, Paul was tucked into the flat bed and Jasper started it up quickly. As we drove at vampire speed towards the Cullen house, fear and nausea began to creep up my spine, then suddenly a feeling of bliss and tranquillity trickled into me. I sunk back into the seat. "Jasper, are you messing with me?" Jasper smiled and his eyes twinkled. I could hear Paul's desperate whines from the back of the truck and although I knew he was seeing whatever horror the pack was witnessing, it no longer screamed at my mind. As we pulled up in front of the garage Paul's whining increased. I climbed out and rushed round to him, the tranquillity flickering away and the panic returning.

"Paul, what's happening?" I pleaded as he whined more and more frantically. "Paul!" I grabbed his fur "Paul, is it Jake, what's happening, please?" Suddenly he phased and I jumped back as he became human "Bella, it's not Jake, but they got to the cabin, there are two dead bodies here, and one is pretty messed up. The leech has been all over the place, Emily's gone, Sam's not there and Leah found a pregnancy test. Emily's pregnant. The blood-sucking killer has Sam's imprint and his baby". He said it all in one long breath and I saw the shudder as he went to phase back but in that moment his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped back into the bed of the truck.

I spun round, Jasper's eyes were glazed and he turned his focus on me. "Isn't it funny Bella? Isn't everything ever so funny?" I started to respond, of course it's not funny, poor Emily must be terrified, and Sam must be out of his mind with fear for her and the baby. But suddenly the giggle burst out of me, and then I couldn't stop laughing, tears rolling down my face. Jasper smiled at me "That's right Bella, it's all so very very funny". He took my hand and lead me towards a dark car in the garage, opening the door and buckling me in as I continued to roar with laughter. I caught his arm and in between snorts I managed to struggle out the words "Jasper, where are you taking me?" Jasper smiled and tenderly stroked my face, "Bella dear, you don't have to worry about that, after all, you are so very tired now aren't you? why don't you have a nice little sleep just like Paul?" I nodded my head, so weary now and let Jasper softly close my eyes.


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Wow, I've never had a chapter that caused so much potty-mouth in the reviews, you've gotta love the passion! Many of you wanted me to tell you straight away what was happening, many people didn't believe what Edward was thinking in the back story, well here it is from the horse's mouth, well from the cowboy's a least. Be warned, if you haven't worked it out yet, my vampires are not as clean cut as SM's. If you want sparkly vegetarian safety and abstinence until marriage - bye bye!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

* * *

The guys had returned with very large pizza boxes and were already in the process of devouring them. I picked up a box and regarded Jasper. He nodded his head away from the others and we moved around to the rear of the house. There was a large deck and I slumped onto one of the benches and flipped open the pizza box. I inhaled it deeply, enjoying the way the greasy smell eased the cloying sickly sweet scent that Jasper gave off.

He was pacing around nearby and I regarded him coolly. Ever since his little admission about my power, he had seemed thoughtful, slightly troubled and this had me intrigued. I bit hungrily into a slice, not taking my eyes off him.

Finally he spoke "How does it work, inside your mind? What do you see in the others? Is it just words, like silent conversations?" I leaned back and chewed another slice while I thought. Why was he asking this now? I swallowed noisily. "No, it's not just what they say, in some ways it's like I am them, I see what they see, hear what they hear, think what they think. It used to be what you are thinking, but now it's something very different". I pulled myself upright on the bench and looked at him. "You came to me because you wanted out of Edward's control, but you need to understand that you may just be trading one problem for another, whatever it is you are hiding or trying to hide, you won't be able to, and judging by how twitchy you are acting right now, that's got you pretty concerned".

I picked up another slice of pizza and folded it over so the toppings didn't slide off. "Here's the thing, I still haven't decided if I trust you, and until I do, I'm not going to grant you what you want. You are hiding something from me, if you want to keep it hidden you have until I finish this pizza to start making tracks. If you intend to stick around, you need to start talking, no bull, no Dante and other airs and graces nonsense. Just tell it as it is, it's your choice".

Jasper walked over and sat down. "Will you be in my head all the time?" he looked pained. I shook my head "When I'm wolf or anything else I guess, I will be. I don't know, but that's how it is for the others. When I'm like this, I have to make a choice to connect, or you can kind of dial in to me, but I'm not a big fan of how it makes me feel so I tend to keep it short and simple". He pushed his hand through his hair, "Can they keep secrets from you?" I stared at him now and shook my head "Only one has been stupid enough to try, I caught a thought he didn't want me to see, but when he tried to hide it away like we used to do, I went hunting for it, inside his mind. I pushed through his thoughts and memories until I found the one I wanted and I watched it from start to finish".

Jasper exhaled loudly, which was weird as he didn't need to inhale in the first place. I picked up another slice. "How much do you know about us Jake?" he asked warily. I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly "You're dead, you're up yourselves, the red eye ones are for killing, what else is there to know?" I looked at him coolly. I would play the idiot for a bit. Jasper wrung his hands together "How much do you understand about a vampire's nature? How we exist? What we are?" I kept staring at him "You know in all honesty I really don't care. But here are the rules, sum it up, I don't want a history lesson or a lecture in social studies or politics. Let's start right here, what didn't you tell her and what are you scared of me knowing?"

Jasper leaned back and put his foot on the table. "I'm not a Cullen, that's the first thing you need to know. Carlisle is their maker, and he's an oddity in vampire society, so they were made differently, raised differently. Alice…well Lord only knows how Alice came to be what she is, but she's a Cullen by nature even if not by blood. But I'm not, not remotely. I was made the traditional way and raised the traditional way, and therein lies the problem. Bella has no idea what a vampire actually is, she thinks that James and Laurent were bad vampires, that Edward has just lost his way. Bella thinks she knows our world, but all she really knows is Carlisle's odd little creations. Jake you need to understand that we are hunters, animals in the truest form, we are the top of the food chain and we exploit it any way we desire. James and Laurent were normal vampires, and despite being insane that's all Edward is doing, just being a normal vampire now".

He paused for a moment and looked at me "I hide what I am, every day, every moment. I hide it from humans instinctively, but I hide it from my mate, my family, everyone. I learnt after years how to hide most of it from Edward too. But you need to understand what you are getting yourself into Jake, I'm not even the same species as them. I'm not controlled by the same rules or reasons. What I have done is not going to sit easily with you. But also how I think, how I am every day, even now is not going to sit easily with you".

"What are you afraid of Jasper?" I asked him again, he was hedging round things and I was beginning to see how he operated. He talked around an issue, hoping that by saying enough in general it would detract from the fact that he hadn't actually said anything. "Is not just that you have killed, there is something else about it isn't there, something that you are afraid is going to make me want to kill you. You talk about yourself as 'we' when you talk about other leeches, so tell me what makes you the same as them". H e twisted his hands together again. "Angry hunting is messy, risky, for a human to go down fighting risks drawing attention, it can be fun when you're in the mood but for the most part it's just too much hassle, too much clearing up. That's why most of us are nomads, that way there is less clearing up, just another unexplained body dump".

I nodded, this much I suspected. "Go on". Jasper looked at the table "You understand that I'm an empath and you see now how that works. Well that was the problem for me. When a person is fighting for their life, the emotions they give off are overwhelming, and even if I could just dump the body, I couldn't dump the emotions they left me with. The fear, hatred, despair, guilt, everything that a person experiences in those last moments is disgusting and it wore me out. I have turned a lot of humans for the wars, and at first it was so hard to control the thirst that I ended up killing them, but then I was taught how to distract myself, to focus on something else so that the thirst wasn't the only drive I was listening to, and then I started to find that even if I did take too much, their emotions weren't the same when they died, it was as if they barely even noticed, it was much more satisfactory. I began to do that all the time".

He looked up and I was suddenly hit with what he was saying, the image of each of the fresh female leeches that we had taken out when the freak was running around. The image of that freak crawling over Bella in the meadow flooded my mind. I put down the pizza I was holding as my stomach started to bubble with disgust. "That's how he turned them, he didn't just bite them and leave them be, he was …" I could barely bring myself to form the words "he raped them so he could concentrate on turning them?" Jasper sighed and looked down again "it's the traditional way, the most effective". He looked at me suddenly "I need you to know I never once forced any of them, not physically nor emotionally, they gave themselves to me of their own choice". I almost laughed "And that makes it ok in your world does it? Just because a woman agrees to share your bed you are free to kill her or turn her then, as long as she doesn't feel bad about it?" I was shaking with rage now and gripping the edge of the bench to control myself.

"But the rest of them do don't they?" I could hear a hint of hysteria in my voice. Jasper shrugged "Think of it like chicken, whether the chicken comes of its own accord when you put out the handful of corn or you have to run around the yard chasing it, you're still going to cut off it's head and stick it in the oven. At least my way their last thoughts were a blissful pleasure, a euphoria even."

I sat, trying to collect my thoughts as he began speaking again "Like I said, the Cullen's are the exception to the rule, mainly because of Carlisle's particular beliefs. That's why Carlisle is the only one who does the turning, he's the only person who can be around the blood, or taste it without needing any distraction. That's why I think Edward struggled so much, he knew he could taste her, he'd seen it in my mind, he knew he could do it if he could distract himself, but because of Carlisle's religious influence he didn't want to pollute her in order to do so. After he left here I think he went around the world trying to find a vampire who could drink safely without using sex as an outlet".

I put my hands to my head, trying hard not to imagine Bella caught up in this depraved world that she didn't even understand. Then my blood suddenly rang cold "You said he had to get you away, you said the family, but you meant you didn't you? That night that you went for her, it wasn't just to drink from her was it? This is what you are afraid of, afraid of me seeing. Tell me what he saw that frightened him into running everyone away."

Jasper stood up and started to pace around again "It started the day he brought her home to the family. I had been so long without that feeling, the heat, the warmth as they hold you, the sensation of sliding into that warmth…." I slammed my fist down on the table and glared at him, He put his hands up as if apologising. "I had some mistakes, earlier on, when Carlisle used to want us to pretend to be siblings, real siblings. The girls in the schools were so flirtatious, so warm, it was so difficult. Then after the last incident Carlisle decided it was safer to make us foster children, so that I could be openly paired with Alice and keep everyone at a greater distance. It made for more moral questioning of the family, but it was much safer for them. I was always chaperoned, kept at a distance, until Edward brought Bella home."

I closed my eyes as I listened, sinking deeper into despair at what danger she had been in. "I began to realise that I was going to slip eventually, I couldn't help myself, I was so drawn to her, to the scent of her innocent blood. But I made a promise to myself that I would never kill her, I'd simply turn her and give her back to Edward as his mate, and to Alice as a sister. That was the decision that caused Alice to have the vision of Bella as a vampire. Alice just assumed that in her vision Edward had turned her, or Carlisle, or at least that's what she said. In all honesty she might have known, but she is a very forgiving creature. She has never judged me for those mistakes, only for the killings. Unfortunately Edward became suspicious and that's when I realised he had no intention of ever allowing her to be turned. Otherwise he would have just accepted the vision as a natural course of events, and then there was that bizarre behaviour of stopping her transformation when she was bitten by James".

I barely felt myself move but I was suddenly far from the house, Jasper's throat clenched in my grip as I slammed him into a tree "you fantasised about being with Bella! Is that what I'm going to find inside your head? Do you still, is that why you wanted her here today? She is MINE!" Jasper raised his arms and pushed back with all his might, I staggered slightly, having less strength in this form but still willing to kill him.

"I promise you on Alice's existence I will never kill Bella, and as for everything else, your smell repulses me, it coats her, I can even smell you inside of her. Trust me it's a very effective thrill-kill. I'm honestly not sure that even bathing her in Chanel No 5 could help me get it up." I dropped him in disgust, overwhelmed by information.

He pulled himself up and dug his hands in his pockets. "Think of it this way though Jake". I glared, interrupting him, "sorry, Alpha Black, think on this, I've read your legends, she is the key, the key to your strength and your life, but what if you never had to lose her, what if she could be by your side for all eternity". I gripped his throat again and squeezed as hard as I could. I knew the gesture was meaningless, it's not as if I could cut off his air supply but I just desperately wanted to stop him talking, I didn't want him to say it. "I will never let you lay with my wife, even if it was to keep her forever. I'd rather kill myself than let it happen".

I threw him aside and stalked back to the table. Sinking back into the chair I put my head in my hands. The Elders were right, I couldn't bring a leech into my pack, no matter what kind of fighter he was. All this time I had been worrying about Edward, but all that leech wanted to do was feed on her, this one in front of me was much more disturbing.

Jasper sat down opposite me and I flinched in disgust. "There is one more thing for you to consider Alpha Black, have you heard the phrase 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'? You may hate me right now but if I am part of your army at least you will be able to control me. Yes you will know what does through my mind, yes you will see what I and every other vampire is capable of, but you will also be able to control me in the way you do your others. Your alternative is to refuse me, in the full knowledge of what I am capable of and then have absolutely no control over what happens next".

I glared at him "I would kill you". Jasper stared back at me and winked "You'd have to catch me first".

Suddenly another voice tore into my mind "Jake" Leah's panicked voice cried "It's Sam, something is wrong!"


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Yes, for those who got muddled, the last chapter occurred inside chapter 59. Everybody wants to know where everybody is...is Sam going to fight Leah? what's happened to Paul? But the overwhelming majority wanted to know what the hell Jasper was up to...so here we go...**

**Disclaimer: I get nothing from Twilight but your reviews are ambrosia!**

* * *

I blinked my eyes in a daze, I felt like I had slept for a whole week. I stretched out and rolled over, my face rubbing against the softest pillow I had ever encountered. I blinked again and tried to focus, "Jake?" I called out. I turned over again and tried again to focus. I rubbed the side of my head groggily as I realised I was still wearing my clothes, but I was in bed, but what bed? I tried to make out my surroundings but the room was quite dark. I felt confused and disorientated, where was I? There was a click of a door handle and the sound echoed through the silence making me jump in surprise. Light entered the room as double doors were opened, illuminating my surroundings. I was in a huge luxurious looking bed, it what was clearly some overpriced hotel suite. I immediately took in the room service menu and tv information that gave it away. I looked up in confusion at the man who had entered.

"Jasper, where am I?" I mumbled. Jasper smiled warmly and walked over to an armchair on the left of the room. He sat down gracefully and parked a foot on the coffee table next to the chair. "We're not far away Bella, we're in Seattle at the moment". I gulped as the memories returned – Leah charging off after Sam, Jasper revealing that Edward had Emily, Jake's look of distress as he left me with Jasper and Paul. Oh God, Paul…

I turned abruptly to Jasper "Why did you abandon Paul? What if something terrible happens to him?" A wry smile crossed Jasper's face "Bella, I thought I had anticipated everything you might possibly say, yet still you manage to surprise me". I frowned at this and went to move towards the door. "Bella" he spoke sharply, interrupting my movement before the smile softened his features again "everything's fine, think of it this way, Paul was going to insist on remaining in his wolf form, but that would make it very difficult for us to be inconspicuous. It is best if we ensure your safety discretely remember, you remember how important it was to lead any threat away from the people you care about, you remember this don't you".

His voice was so confidant, so reassuring and I was drawn back to the hotel in Phoenix were we had stayed before. He was right, it did make sense. I trusted Jasper. I smiled brightly "Everything's going to be ok this time isn't it?" I noticed an odd dreamy sound to my voice but as soon as I registered it, the thought flittered away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of trust and complacency. Everything was going to be fine. Jasper moved to the end of the bed and perched on the end "But remember what happens if you don't listen to me", he reached out gently and took my arm running his thumb across the scar that James' had left me with "so you'll trust me this time won't you Bella?" He raised his eyes to look directly into mine "You'll listen to me won't you Bella?" I nodded my head happily, I felt so contented, so safe right now.

He sat for a moment and felt his thumb continue to trace the scar, I shivered involuntarily, the cool touch now so alien to my skin. He grimaced slightly and wrinkled his nose. "Why don't you have a nice relaxing bath, I can have them deliver some nice toiletries and things" he paused for a moment and then smiled "strawberries, that was it? You always did love strawberry things". I smiled, how strange that he would remember such a thing. He moved rapidly into the other room and dialled. I walked to the window and looked out. We were very high up, I could see all the way across Seattle from here. I didn't know very much about the hotels here. Renee had always been more of a motel and road trip sort of person. I could tell by the furnishings that this was a very expensive setting. I drifted out into what appeared to be a lounge area. I felt very comfortable here despite my usual dislike for all things so obviously over the top. There were comfortable looking sofas and a bar area. I noticed another door off to the other side and reached out for the handle.

My breath caught as Jasper was suddenly in front of me, my hair fluttering in the breeze his movement had made. "Bella, that's not the bathroom, you were looking for the bathroom weren't you? You were going to have a lovely relaxing bath". I felt myself being turned round, I was sure I was looking to see if that was another bedroom, wasn't I? I couldn't quite remember anymore and a bath did sound lovely. After all I was supposed to listen to Jasper wasn't I?

There was a quiet tap at the door and Jasper moved from my side to open it, ushering in a stern looking maid. She nodded in my direction, her arms laden with various items. I stood and watched as she bustled into the bedroom, setting down her load. I was transfixed by her efficiency and stood motionless watching as she stripped the bed and changed the blankets. I tried to protest "Oh no, it's not dirty, we only just got here" I smiled. She looked at me strangely, then Jasper made a strange tutting sound and she looked, what did she look? She looked afraid for some reason, why would she be afraid, after all it's only Jasper? She continued making the bed even quicker than before.

I looked at Jasper in confusion "We did just get here didn't we? It is still today isn't it?" Jasper reached out his arm and took my hand "Of course it is Bella, today is still today". I felt reassured and followed her through to the en-suite bathroom The maid closed the door behind me and turned on the taps in the huge sunken bath and began adding the bubble bath. Soon the room was filled with the smell of warm strawberries and the water gushed loudly. Suddenly she took my hand and whispered quietly "Are you ok miss?" I smiled and patted her hand "Oh course I am, everything's going to be just fine this time".

There was a sudden rap on the door before it swung open and the maid jumped away from me. "I think the lady can handle it from here thank you", Jasper tone was stern and his face looked dark. I frowned, why was Jasper cross? He placed a number of bills in the maid's hand and escorted her out. I felt myself motionless again, as if I couldn't remember what I was going to do next. There was a blur of motion and Jasper was by the bath, turning off the taps. He smiled and breathed in deeply "Now that seems very appealing doesn't it Bella". I breathed in and the warm strawberries filled my senses again, I felt comforted and nurtured.

Jasper stood and moved towards the door "I'll be just outside if you need anything". I nodded but noticed that his eyes had become very dark. "Jasper, maybe you should hunt?" He frowned and glanced to the mirror. "You were always very perspective Bella" he looked back to me "perhaps later". I continued to stare in confusion as he closed the door.

The bath did look so appealing. I peeled off my clothes and went to lay them on the side but noticed that there were some new clothes next to the pile of towels. I reached for them. There was a simple white cotton dress, similar to the kind that Leah often wore, although I couldn't quite imagine her in a white version. It looked like the sort of thing I used to wear to go to church when Renee went through her organised religion phase. There were also some simple white panties and a matching cotton bra. I regarded them for some moments, what an odd set of clothes, but there was probably a limited choice at this time of night I guess. The maid had left a little bag on the side and I slipped my current clothes in there. Hopefully that would mean I would get something sensible back soon. I raised my eyebrow at the dress again and then stepped into the warm water.

The bath was huge and I felt like I was in a lovely warm swimming pool. I reached to the side and found matching shampoo and conditioners, I was going to smell like one big giant strawberry by the end of this. I paused for a second, that made me think something, but what was it. It was as if the thoughts in my mind were slipping away as soon as I had them. I felt a wave of relaxation roll over me, oh wow this bath was good.

I lounged and floated for a ridiculous amount of time until the water began to cool, then I stepped out and dried off on the soft fluffy towels. There was some lotion in the things as well so I applied some of that too. I had to chuckle, even the deodorant was strawberry! I slipped on the clothes and regarded myself in the mirror as I towelled my hair. I really did look like I was off to bible class. All I would need would be little white ankle socks and some polished Mary Janes and I'd be set. But I wouldn't be ungrateful, perhaps Alice had been doing all the shopping for so long that Jasper didn't know what regular people wore anymore.

I opened the door and wandered out, the TV was on now and Jasper was sat in the chair watching some music video station. He turned as I entered and a look of shock crossed his face. It felt as if a huge wave crashed through me, I felt such overwhelming desire as if I was transported back into the garage the day of the barbeque, a ferocious physical need that made me stagger and reach out the door frame, but as quickly as it came it was wrenched back out of my body and I placed a second hand on the frame to steady me. What was that? I tried to calm my breathing and staggered to the edge of the bed sinking down on the smooth fresh sheets.

"Jasper what's going on?" I gasped He took several breaths and seemed to be trying to calm himself, then looked up as I felt a gentle sense of comfort and safety lull me back into relaxation. A cellphone ringer cut through the silence and Jasper regarded the display warily. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly before taking the call. I couldn't make out the caller as clearly he wouldn't need to have the volume very loud and laid back on the bed listening partly to the music and partly to Jasper.

"It's not a good time" he said, his tone seeming tense. He stood up and begun to pace the room. "I am not having this conversation right now". He stopped and looked out of the window. "my thoughts are my business, nothing is decided". He spun round quickly and I found him staring right into my eyes and he spoke very quietly "I'm not going to kill her I promise".

He hung up the phone and continued to stare at me "Who was that?" I asked timidly. He looked troubled for a moment "Someone who cares about you". He reached out and stroked my hair "It suits you like that" he whispered, he turned my face so I could see the TV "It looks like hers". I looked over and saw that a music video playing I recognised the artist as one that Quil and Embry paid a lot of attention to. Her hair was spread out over what looked like fur and she was twisting and contorting around. "You could look like that, move like that" Jasper whispered next to my ear. The volume on the TV seemed to go up considerably and I began to feel very confident and liberated. I began to shake out my hair, pushing myself up on my hands like the singer was.

Jasper was right, I could be just like her. I was brilliant and talented too. I twisted around like the singer did, rising up on my knees and arching my back. I felt empowered, strong and sensuous. I twisted again and leant forward as Jasper stood at the bed. He was staring at me, his eyes as dark as coal as I rocked my hips in time with beat. I was proud, fierce, excited. I began to crawl forwards across the bed, sliding like the singer was, stalking towards him as Jasper raised his hands to his throat and began to unbutton his shirt.

I leant even further forward, then rocking back on my hips as the singer was doing, I was powerful, exotic…erotic. My head spun and the memory of Jake's body hard behind me made me gasp out with lust and desire. I wanted him so badly, I wanted to feel every inch of him claim me again and again. I moaned loudly and then a loud roar tore into my mind. I was suddenly, dizzingly aware of where I was. I felt raw, exposed and disgusting. I looked at Jasper in horror taking in his shirtless form and unbuttoned jeans. His face was contorted with anger and he charged from the room slamming the door behind him. I leapt from the bed, pulling the twisted sheet around me like a cocoon and rushed for the door. I reached for the handle and locked it firmly, collapsing against it.

I felt…Oh God I felt, these were my feelings. I felt shame and self-hatred, what had I been thinking? The remote was lying on the floor where Jasper had dropped it and I turned off the TV disgusted with the images of her cavorting provocatively. How could I have done that to Jake? What was wrong with me? Tears of humiliation ran down my face. My poor sweet Jake, I have betrayed you while you were out trying to save everybody and I was here acting like a cheap whore in a hotel room. The tears turned into sobs of despair and I hung my head in shame.


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Once again, my lovely, passionate reviewers have spurred me on to get another chapter uploaded! Also, people have been asking if I'll load the backstory up, so I figured, I wrote it for you, do you want it uploaded? Answers in a review and I'll go with the majority :) Also I have been given the outline for the 2K review story, and it's coming together in my mind so there will be a short delay before the next update so I can get that one up. All I'll say for now is it's a Bella/Edward/Jacob triangle with the working title 'I never said I'd fight fair', so make sure you've got the author alert box ticked :)**

**Disclaimer: As always, SM owns Twilight.**

* * *

As I stood there, the world seemed to swirl in slow motion. So many things were happening at once. Me, I, Jake – I was terrified, I looked at this beautiful women I called my queen and the leech standing just behind her, and I was terrified, of him, for her, of everything that might try to separate us. My wolf was angry, his rage at all of them was almost out of control, almost to the point of phasing on the spot. The anger and the fear were crippling, one wanted to run and fight, one wanted to stay and hide her away with me.

But then there was the Alpha, the power inside me, he was outraged. He was vilely disgusted but he was also calm, controlled, calculating. I fought my other emotions down and listened in to my own mind. I could hear the hum of ancient words, I could feel its need to assume control of the situation, and so I let it.

With pain in my heart I knew I had to leave my beautiful queen, my mate, my life. I wanted to bind Paul to her but I remembered my mistake with Michael and how that binding had nearly hurt her as well. I prayed to the spirits that he would listen to me. I could hardly bring myself to acknowledge the leech. When this was over I wanted him out of our lives, I did not want he and after what I had learnt today I couldn't allow him to become part of the pack, to share his sick mind with my brothers. Their ways, their thoughts were too different, too wrong to be overlooked.

I phased into the wolf, listening in as the others barrelled through their frantic race. My Alpha was already processing what was going to occur and I knew it made no sense to follow them. Leah was not going to find Emily at the cabin. I tried to use what Jasper had told me to work out what was going to occur. For Sam to turn his allegiance to a leech, that leech must have Emily. This leech wasn't going to stick around in a cabin that we knew. He would be on the move with her.

I registered my queen leaving with Paul and the leech. I shifted suddenly, almost instinctively. I didn't know why, but now instead of the normal wolf form I found myself as a black panther. The senses were different like this and I was aware of how I felt physically. I crouched and sprung up into the trees, finding it easy to move higher through the large sturdy branches. I looked in to Leah's progress. She was almost at the cabin.

"Jake, were the hell are you?" her emotions were all over the place. I realised that she alone had registered that I had shifted form, she had thought I was coming with them and was angry now she felt my presence differently. I realised yet again the difference between them all. I don't know why it was on my mind now in the middle of everything but it felt like so many things were oddly making sense.

I realised why I had locked Quil and Embry to her, not to Sam's trail. I hadn't even noticed it when I'd done it. Michael was going to stay by her side no matter what, but they were going there for her protection, not to find Sam. "What are you talking about?" her fears were taking her over, "Why not to find Sam?" her voice was panicked.

"Leah", I felt old, heavy with knowledge all of a sudden. "Sam's going to come for you". I showed her the conversation from before, where Bella and the leech had discussed that stupid Dante stuff. I felt Leah flinch and almost stumble. She recognised the text and was disgusted by the accusation. "You think he's going to send Sam after me?" I could feel her choking back the tears. "Leah, stay strong for me. I've had a taste of leech thoughts today and it is nothing like we could have imagined. But I think I understand a lot more now. This isn't just a chase and destroy fight, we are going to have to out-think and out-smart them." I paused, contemplating my words. "Leah, we are going to need to think like them and I need to work out how to do that best. Until then I need you to keep your thoughts to yourself. This communication goes between you and me only. I need you to lead the others, to check out the cabin exactly as you would want to do, but then you are to wait, to stall for time. Check out everything, tear the area apart as if you are looking for clues, dig up the ground, go through the trash, but I want the other three around you at every second. I want you to wait for the strike as if you are not expecting it, but the moment it comes, those three need to take him down. We have to disable him completely, he's fighting for his imprint's life and he is going to be powerful, but silent. He's not going to know what you are thinking, only the words that you say".

I knew what I was going to have to do to Sam and I felt horrific, but I couldn't allow him to endanger my pack. Leah reared in shock as my thoughts merged with hers "You can't Jake, that's…that's just evil". I winced, it was, it was a cruelty I wouldn't wish to inflict on anybody, but it was just what a leech would do, and for that reason I knew it would work perfectly. "Remember, keep busy, and when he strikes, let them do their job, do not fight him, phase out immediately so that he and the leech can hear you". I felt her acceptance, still shocked at what I was proposing.

I cut that communication and turned myself outwards. I channelled the energy outwards and began to search for the aberration, the deadness, as I had done when we were hunting the sick freak and his creations. I flittered over the dead spot I could feel near the Cullen place and widened the search, I could feel my Alpha being drawn, pulled almost. I tried to focus but the energy, the sensation was so strong. I stopped searching and dropped to the ground. It was as if there was a giant ball of string being dragged in front of me, the desire to run after it was so strong. I gave over my conscious mind and allowed the Alpha to be pulled to whatever needed it.

I was racing through forest, my panther much more agile than my wolf, and I realised also, much more discreet as I moved through more open areas. I felt bolder than I usually did, and found myself running close to the roads, where I would have buried myself much further in the tree line. My head snapped suddenly as the strong scent of human blood made itself known. I cautiously entered the parking lot, running close to the wall. The older beaten up vehicle was parked in a dark corner but I could tell the smell emanated from it and my heart quicken for a moment in fear of what I might find. The scent of the leech was present too, sickening and cloying. I took in the drenched back seats and my stomach tightened, someone had died here, but there was more blood in the front, different blood, on the door fabric, as if someone with a grazed elbow had rested it there, this was the blood that smelt like Emily, although not quite like the Emily that I remembered.

I frowned for a moment trying to work it out when Leah cut loudly into my thoughts. She was standing in the cabin, there was chaos all around her but it was the little white stick in her hand that had her full attention Her panic went out to all of us, and I felt the panic for Emily and her unborn child touch from Bella as well, it gripped around my heart for a few moments, almost paralysing me in place, then suddenly it was replaced by calm and I was able to focus again.

I felt the pull inside me and called out in my head to the spirits "Can you feel it? Can you feel the Quileute blood in its veins? Where are my people? I roared inside myself. I felt the ancient words bubbling up, my mind being coated with the energy of the Spirits and then it was as if hundreds of little lights when on inside my mind, little throbbing lights. Inside the ancient words I heard my fathers voice talking to Bella about my mother and I heard my own voice inside me 'My blood is your blood, is the blood of my sons and the blood of your father' and I realised I was feeling the heartbeats of all of my people. I pushed my mind away from the reservation and took in the two heartbeats moving quickly not far from me, one quick with fear, and one a gentle flutter, like the wings of a hummingbird.

I allowed a smile to cross my lips, the leech may have forced his allegiance but he could not turn the hearts that beat. Sam is mine, his imprint is mine, his family is mine and I will protect them. I began to race now, my soul locked to the little hummingbird wings. I'm coming for you leech I smiled. I was further comforted as darkness began to creep in around me. I entered the city limits, this form perfect for scaling rooftops and buildings. I locked in on the buildings as their movements slowed. I sat calm, my Alpha was waiting. Whereas once I would have charged in anger, now I sat in controlled calculation, waiting for the window of opportunity.

I locked to Leah again as Quil and Embry cried out in alarm. Sam crashed through the forest and was tackled by both of them ferociously. I saw him immediately disadvantaged, the leech expecting only a surprise attack. Leah phased out with Michael at her side, Sam struggled further in his distraction. I felt Michael's rage as he sought to shield her body with his own but I locked him firm. I channelled my mind and my strength in Leah as she called him out in her strong voice.

"Samuel Uley, you are accused of treason against the people of the Quileute. You have violated the codes of your ancestors and brought shame upon your heritage". I made her pause and waited for the reaction. For a second my confidence wavered, but I was sure he would rise to the bait, after all if soldier boy was anything to go by, these leeches couldn't get enough of the sound of their voices, even Barbie leech had talked in riddles.

Seconds later I was rewarded as Sam phased into human form, his face contorted with anger "You dare to cast accusations you devil-whore!" Leah's mind recoiled as if he had slapped her. "Leah" I called to her "remember it's the leeches words, you need to destroy the leech, give him everything you've got".

I felt Leah strengthen herself and stand tall "How do you plead traitor?" Sam's face twisted into a sickening smile "Bitch, I'm going to watch you burn in hell!" Leah's eyes closed for a second as she steeled herself. "For the crime of treason against the Quileute people, by order of Alpha Black, Samuel Uley, you are sentenced to death".

I felt the terror in the other wolves and saw the look of shock run across Sam's face. Then he sneered "And where is your polluting Alpha now? Too afraid to face me in person so he is sending his whore to do his job?"

I felt Leah smile now, and the glimpse that came from Quil's mind was that she looked as terrifying now as she had when she had torn apart and tortured that freak. "Samuel Uley, for your crimes against the Quileute I am your judge, jury and executioner". I stilled her heart as I told her the rest, holding her mentally as she fought against the words I was supplying. Her voice wavered and cracked before finding its strength again. "Samuel Uley, for your crimes against humanity, Alpha Black will be the law. Confusion registered on his face. Leah continued "Samuel Uley, for the crime of allowing two human lives to be destroyed in your presence, how do you plead?" Leah walked purposely over to the side of the cabin where they had respectfully arranged the body of the man and the woman under the sheet and dragged the sheet back. As Leah inhaled, I recognised the scent as the blood that had been in the back of the car. I saw as the horror registered in Sam, in his true wolf, his true Quileute nature and he dropped to his knees.

Leah advanced on Sam now "For your crimes against humanity, Alpha Black has deemed that your sentence be increased to death by torture, death by despair…" She paused, Sam's eyes wide with horror. Leah's voice was harsh and filled with hatred now, although only I knew that this hatred was directed at me for what I was making her say, to the rest of them she looked exactly as the leech perceived her, the embodiment of the devil in a she-wolf. She gripped Sam's face as Quil and Embry continued to hold his arms.

"Samuel Uley, you are sentenced to death by imprint". Leah spat fiercely in his face, and I knew she was talked directly to the leech right now through Sam's eyes. "You asked where MY Alpha was? He is her executioner. He is coming for your imprint." Sam's head rolled back as he screamed and may heart was cold as I remembered the sound, a scream that had left my own mouth as Sam had held me as the darkness took hold of me, as the fear and the madness claimed me. Leah was shaking as he continued to scream "You will feel her fear as he finds her, you will feel her agony as he ends your bloodline and your heart will beat its last as he rips hers from her".

Tears fell freely down my face as I listened to his screams as the darkness cloaked him. He believed in me, in my strength, and I watched in sadness as his belief in my unstoppable power turned his mind inwards on itself. I saw his eyelids flutter as his eyes eventually rolled back in his head and the screaming stopped. I saw the tears in all of them as I opened my mind to all four now. "I'm sorry" I whispered to them all, but their shock and revulsion was hard to bear. Even Michael began to wonder how I was capable of something so cruel.

Michael was holding Leah as Quil and Embry bound Sam onto the makeshift stretcher. I honestly didn't know if he would wake up again before I reunited him with Emily, but I did not want to take any chances. I strengthened my resolve, I had done the worst part now. I had separated the leader from his army, now all I needed to do was wait for my window to rescue Emily and once they were back together, within my pack, I would lead them all and we would destroy him.

I leaned back quietly, tracking the dead aberration and the two heartbeats of my people, waiting for my moment to strike. Several sensations ran through me at once, first there was a howling rage as Paul locked onto my mind, his memories of the last few seconds that he remembered – staring into the leech's eyes as the leech led my queen away by the hand, then there was an overwhelming sickness as the sensations of Bella's arousal and pleasure began to build in my body. My horror caused me to almost lose my footing on the high roof as the realisation hit me. Jasper had disabled Paul, just as I had disabled Sam, the leader separated from his army, and he had waited for his own window to take what was mine. I reached out with my mind, but with no pack attachment there was nothing for me to find, and there were numerous dead things walking in this city.

The sensations of pleasure were like a ticking timebomb inside of me. I reached down deep inside myself, into the furious darkness that I shielded away from everything and immersed myself in the dangerous powers that the Elders feared. I pulled the words I didn't know from my own mind and screamed them out in ferocious growls and snarls. I didn't know what I was channelling and I didn't care, I had to reach her. I felt my conscious slipping from my physical feelings, and for a moment I remembered what I had seen in Michael's memories of separating from his medicated body and being with Leah.

I was in a rage as I felt my conscious streaming across the city. I felt myself drawing closer and closer, the loud music pounding in my ears, a least I could no longer feel the physical sensation of her arousal, although my mind was aware of it. I roared with my heart and soul as my awareness filled the room. He was removing his shirt and beginning to undo the buttons of his fly as he watched her writhing. I tried to strike out at him but there was nothing of me there to make contact.

I howled again as I tried to cover her some way, tried to coat her with my spirit to protect but if she registered me at all it seemed only to increase her desire as she pressed back as if she knew I was there. I could see from her eyes that she was not a part of this, her eyes glazed as if she was dreaming. I tried to grip her face to make contact with her eyes and her head moved as if in response to my touch. I remembered quickly then, my spirit was connected to her, she could feel my touch even if I couldn't get a grip on his undead head and smash his sick face in. I gripped her as hard as I could with my whole body and placed my lips against her ear and let out the same roar I had given her at the barbeque, then one in response to the henna tattoo she had presented me with. I felt her body tense as my call overwhelmed his control of her and I grabbed at her damp hair, pushing it away from her back.

I was watched in satisfaction as his face curled with anger as he took it in, the damp white dress becoming see-through at the back, and the letters of MY name clearly visible. I smiled in satisfaction as he stalked from the room and then registered her pain as my beautiful queen became aware of her terrible circumstances. I took one last look at her then allowed my spirit to be pulled back out of the room. I was going to need my body to beat him to a pulp.

I felt myself rushing back through the city, careful to note how to find my way. It was a suddenness as I returned to the physical form and felt a massive strain on my energy and my strength. I turned to regard the building I had been watching before and cussed loudly as I realised that the dead space and the two heartbeats were gone. I howled in anger, I had missed my window. All that planning, all that pain and he had destroyed that as well. I was going to kill every last one of them, but I was going to mutilate that soldier first.


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: Ok, here we go again, advance warning - some of you may not like part[s] of this chapter - there are dark themes in it, from the beginning Jake has been evolving into something very powerful. All my lovely reviewers seem to have very specific thoughts about what is going to happen, but ultimately this has been the story right from the beginning. This chapter of Jake's development is almost complete [almost 1 whole month has passed since they imprinted!]. I need to decide whether to start the next part as a sequel, or continue here [in which case this story could get rather epic]. The first part of the back story is up as 'Seven Deadly Sins' and contains Parts 1 to 10, only the reviewers have parts 11 and 12 etc. **

**Also, the reward story for the 2,000th review is now started and loaded, the first 3 chapters are up for 'I never said I'd fight fair'. It's not in any way related to this story and starts in Eclipse, it is for grown-ups ONLY, as it is under the M rating for dirty thoughts, suggestive behaviour and cussing - but it is a story with a plot, not just a whole load of smut. Thanks to 'Hello there-I didn't see you' for the brilliant suggestion and to D.H. Lawrence for writing Lady Chatterley's Lover.**

**If you like it and fancy a story of your own, perhaps we'll run a 3k review competition ;)**

**Disclaimer: As ever, SM owns Twilight, and she would probably pray for their souls if she saw what I'd done to them all.**

**

* * *

**

My paws clattered across the roof tiles as I charged across the city. There was not a second to waste. My heart was beating a painful rhythm in my chest. I was shifting effortlessly now, leaping up and morphing from paws to wings and back again, anything to get me closer to Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella, it was as if my heart was pounding out her name with every beat. I finally saw the balcony I needed and launched myself at it with full force. Glass and wood shattered around me but I no longer felt any pain, any discomfort. Bella, Bella, Bella...The full force of the imprint was hitting me now with a savageness I hadn't felt since Leah woke me. Mine! The dark wolf inside of me roared.

I phased out to stand before my rival as a man. The fury within me threatening to spill at any second. "Wait, Jake, you need to listen" I heard him say, his face contorted with concern but my fist slammed into his jaw before he could speak any further. I bought my two hands together, raising them above my head before slammed them down against his skull. He dropped to the floor like stone and I pounded my fist into the table nearest to me. I felt the wood splinter, the table collapsing in the centre and I grabbed one of the broken sections. Again I raised my arms high above me, slamming the shattered piece down into his torso, wedging it deep in to the floor.

He cried out and I pummelled my fist against his face again before spearing him again with more of the broken table, each time jamming it deep into the floor until he was spread out as if being crucified. I rammed my knee onto his outstretched wrist, twisting it as it crunched under my weight. I slammed my fist into his fingers and roared "You dared to touch what is mine!".

I heard a choked sob and spun, crouching for another attack and my breath was taken away. My beautiful queen stood sobbing. Her eyes caught mine and she reached out her hand "I'm sorry" she whimpered, "I'm so sorry". I raised myself up and felt my heart beating through my chest - Mine! This belonged to me! I pulled the sheet away roughly, backing her up against the wall, everything stunk of him, the cloying sweetness was suffocating my senses. I could smell it on her hair where he had touched her. I leant close to her, bracing my arms against the wall either side, needing to know, needing to be sure if he...

I inhaled deeply at her shoulders, growling steadily. I sunk lower to my knees, inhaling again and again, needing to be sure. I pushed up the dress and cupped her calf, pulling her knee towards my shoulder. I was past the point of controlling my animal instincts and I buried my face between her thighs as she gasped. I inhaled the heady scent that was solely hers and rumbled a sound of satisfaction – mine!

I felt her shudder in response and smelt the warmth as she responded to me. I pulled myself away from her sweet centre and rose to my feet, continuing to cup her calf as I pressed myself against her. "Who were you thinking of?" I snarled, unable to control my voice. Bella's eyes were wide with alarm and she shook her head "Just you, I felt as if you were with me" she whispered. I growled again. My voice was harsh as I continued "You are mine!" She nodded, threading her arms around my neck, pulling me tighter against her. "Only yours, always yours" she panted breathlessly.

I felt the power, the ancient strength curling around my mind and my spirit as she guided me with her hand, letting me tear aside the covering items, so that I could surround myself with what was mine, only mine. I groaned as I buried myself in a place that belonged to me alone. Unlike before when the power had reached outwards, curling across the land, it felt now as if it were collapsing inwards, as if there was nothing but her in this existence as if the planet, the stars, everything had ceased to be. I moved myself within her, calling her, claiming her, allowing the spirits to channel their power through my words. She was mine, body and soul. Her arms pulled around my neck tighter and tighter, burying my face against her neck and I could feel her veins pumping with her life-force against my lips.

I thrust again, harder and harder, her moans filling my ears with a symphony of her pleasure, her pulse beating its rhythm against my lips. More words poured from me and I gripped her buttocks as the pleasure began to course through me. I opened my mouth against her neck feeling the urgent pulse of her own pleasure matching mine. I howled as my seed began to spill into her, and then closed my eyes as the dark wolf engulfed me and I bit down.

As my mind began to clear I felt her weight pressing against me. She was slumped on me and for a terrifying moment I feared that I had really hurt her. Then her head swung lazily to the side and a contented little smile was evident on her sleeping face. I lifted her from the wall gently and carried her over to the bed. Only when she was settled comfortably did I let myself slide from herdepths and she whimpered slightly. She rolled over and I pulled a cover up over her.

I felt satisfied, calm almost and that made me feel ashamed. I'd lost track of Emily. I needed to see how Sam was doing in his unconscious state and I had an impaled leech not thirty feet from me who needed to have his head separated from his body. Yet despite all of this, the only thing I had been able to think about was getting my freak on in a very nasty way. I stood up and walked out of the bedroom, eyeing my first problem with disgust. He had been able to work some of the makeshift stakes out of his body but I'd still left him in a pretty bad way.

His eyes glazed over as I approached and he began to pant. His gaze focussed on my mouth hungrily and I realised that I could still taste the saltiness of Bella's blood in my mouth. Part of me continued to feel ashamed of what I had done, but part of me felt determined to taunt him with it. I knelt down and put my face close to his. "This is the closest you will ever come to her" I spat at him. He inhaled greedily but tried to calm himself "It wasn't what you think" he pleaded. I gripped his face in disgust. "Really? Because when I spirit walked my ass in here earlier to your little strip show, it looked pretty clear what YOU were thinking". He looked horrified "You were here? How?" I snarled at him "Who do you think got in the way of your game?" He looked at me in confusion "Look, please just look. Look at her, it was all an act, don't you see? I wasn't my fantasy, I did it for you".

I stared at him and gripped his face harder. I was sick and tired of them all and I was going to kill him anyway, what did it matter if I took a look first. I glared at him and let the spirits guide me "Accept me as your Alpha" I snarled. His eyes went wide and he nodded eagerly "I submit to you". I closed my eyes as I was overwhelmed by thousands of images. I shuddered in disgust as thousands of killings passed through me. I felt the thirst, the painful agonising hunger that could never be satisfied, that over rode almost every other sensation he was capable of. I saw his desires, and his failures and his shame.

I saw the intrigue in the pack, the genuine desire to belong to something. I saw his fear of rejection, and then I saw the fatal decision to take what was mine. I slowed down the images, like slowing an old fashioned movie reel.

I saw a woman, a woman who he felt love for, a woman who would see him take Bella, a woman who would recognise this very room and relay it to someone else. I saw Edward and snarled, I saw him smiling a sketching a picture of my Bella, dressed like she was today. I saw his military objectives, his desire to bring the fight to himself, so that he could take Edward's head and present it to me in exchange for acceptance into the pack.

I blinked in confusion, but he only wanted the pack to be rid of Edward's mind-reading? I waded back through his thoughts and memories watching him realise the possibilities of the pack, the capacity of the Destroyers, his growing sense of belonging, his admiration of their fighting skills, his wish to be part of something again, something that he could understand, something he was good at.

I tried to push it all aside and forced my way to his memories of this room, of Bella. But instead I found him in this room, on his knees sobbing, begging for his mate's forgiveness. I felt his pain, his shame and self-hatred. I watched as she tried to console him. Then her words ran through my mind as clear as if she spoke to me directly. The intensity of their emotions made my chest heave. "Don't Jasper, please, I don't have much time left, please don't spend it being sad". I reeled as his mind shifted across time to the same woman as she told him of visions of being taken against her will to serve a leech ruler, of being starved until she finally accepted the human blood she was given. His memories paused as if locked, playing the moment that she had begged him to promise to destroy her before they could turn her into a monster.

I heard Jasper choke and felt his sadness to my core, his fear of losing her almost as strong as my own for Bella. I turned to him in confusion "If you love her that much, how the hell can you think of any other, how can you even imagine yourself laying down with someone else?" He shook his head, "I told you, you have no idea of our true nature, hell we don't even know how we came to exist, but it's like there is me inside, the man – who loves and lives and reads and writes stupid sappy poetry because it makes her smile and plays the guitar so that she'll sing to me", his face turned dark and I felt his emotions churn. "Then there is this thing, this spirit, the part that Carlisle calls the demon inside us – the vampire. It doesn't love, it doesn't care, all it craves is the blood. We bind them up so tight, but they rage against the binds. I even gave mine a name", he chuckled despairingly. "Carlisle said it was the strongest demon he had felt in many years, 'The Major' fights constantly, he needs their blood, he craves their flesh, he wants power over them". He shifted wearily into a sitting position, trying to reset his fingers from where I had crushed them.

"Jake please, you are the only thing I've ever seen that was stronger than The Major, and if you are stronger than me, then you are strong enough to destroy them all. Jake, you can fight me even in human form, and you are getting stronger everyday. I needed you, I needed your army so that I can fight them, so that I can take them down before they come for her. When I felt your disgust earlier, and how much you didn't trust me, I panicked. I thought if you could see what I would do for you, you would trust me".

I shook my head in disbelief, but could sense his honesty in my mind. "So explain again how treating my wife like your whore is supposed to make me trust you" I asked sarcastically. I felt his memories open up to me again. I watched as he meticulously planned his actions so that would appear correctly to his mate. His pain at having to hurt her again as part of it. I watched as he genuinely planned to stage it for Edward. I hissed then as I watched the plan collapse, as the idea of focussing on the remembered strawberry scent for Edward's benefit stripped away the protective mask of the wolf scent. I felt his horror as he realised that he did not have control over 'The Major', and then his attempts to focus solely on not killing her. I watched as he watched her, barely noticing in fact the tattoo that I thought had protected her and angered him.

I exhaled heavily, and rested on my knees. Did any of it matter? If anything I now knew that I was dealing with a leech with a split personality, half of it hell bent on saving its mate from some kind of slavery, the other half equally focussed on screwing and draining any human female it came across. More importantly, he admitted he didn't have full control over that half. I shook my head, my wolf didn't care any more, he wanted nothing more than to destroy this demon in front of him. I stood up, intent on my task.

I walked towards the shattered door and picked up a long shard of glass. It glinted in the moonlight like a sword. Jasper's eyes looked sadly at me and he nodded, pulling himself up on this knees. I watched thoughtfully as he steadied himself, he was weak and in pain. He clasped his hands behind his back and leant his head forward. It was noble almost, how he prepared himself for his execution. He turned his head towards me "Will you grant me a final request?" I paused in my step and listened not wanting to agree until I knew what it was. "Find her, tell her I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise myself..." he paused and choked again "and then kill her really gently, don't let her feel any pain".

I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and closed my eyes. The spirits whipped around inside my mind, pulling though his memories and thoughts searching out information. I could sense their intrigue. I stepped up next to him. The spirits were fascinated by the leech ruler, finding images of their kingdom and pulling them up for my attention. I sighed and set my jaw. I lifted the shard of glass and pressed it down. His eyes shot to mine, growing wide with alarm and I gripped the back of his head by his hair pulling it up.

"Shut up and drink".

I tried to distance myself from the physical act. I felt shame run through me at having anyone so near to me. My eyes were closed and turned away from that side of me, my arm extended as far away from my body as possible, when the warmth and calm appeared from the other side. I opened my eyes as Bella's lips gently touched mine. I stood awkwardly, one arm wrapped around Bella in her sheet, I flinched at the sight of the wound on her neck. She seemed to be watching Jasper with intrigue as he drank.

Holding on to her almost for my own mental safety I allowed my mind to open again. I felt my blood as it passed into him. I could feel him, sense inside him and I frowned, concentrating as I sought out the demon, 'The Major'. I felt the root of it, its hold of him, the place where it wound into his spirit and claimed him as its own. My mind took a hold of the demon, mental hands wrapping around it. "I am your Alpha, you will yield to me", it was strong, its will was powerful, but I was stronger, "Yield to me" I demanded and this time I felt it give. Jasper collapsed to the ground, his body seemingly convulsing. I wrapped both my arms around Bella and clung to her as the demon's knowledge joined with the spirits inside me. I was panting, gasping as they were united.

I felt her hand gently stroking my face "Hush, you'll be ok in a minute Jake, just give it a second ok." I stared at her, my lip trembling "Bella, what have I done?" Her face softened "You did what you had to do Jake, whatever you have now, its what is meant to be." I pulled her tight to me, stroking the angry wound gently "I can't believe I hurt you like that". She nuzzled against me. "We should get back to the res, I think you might need to talk to the Elders about all of this".

I let her go and watched as she pulled the sheet tighter around her and crouched down to Jasper. "Jasper, are you ok?" His eyes began to focus and he looked at her in confusion. He sat up swiftly and she stepped back carefully. He got to his feet and tried to move towards her. I growled and locked him in place. He turned to me with an amused grin, "I don't feel hungry", I rolled my eyes "should think not, I'm sure I've got about 3 pints less than I'm supposed to". Jasper threw back his head and laughed "and no offence Jake, you taste awful, but you are not hearing me – I don't feel the hunger. I've been hungry for over two hundred years no matter what or who I drained, but for the first time ever, I actually feel full".

Bella's hand laced through mine and she turned to me with a smile "See I told you that you were a God, you're going to save them all".


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: OK, OK I know I disappeared for a ridiculous amount of time and I'm sorry! Real life holds you hostage some times. Because of the HUGE pause I have taken the liberty of running a recap here (a) to remind myself and (b) to get you back into the flow, jump past the italics if you don't want to read it. Yes, I didn't get the backstory updates out to the reviewers of the last chapter, these will come I just felt an update was desperately overdue. Please excuse the flow if it's a bit jarred, it's been a while and I'm out of practice. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**

* * *

**_Bella is approached by Laurent in the meadow and is saved by the wolves. She experiences an unexplained sense of connection towards one of the wolves which shocks her into realisation about her behaviour since Edward's departure. The wolf begin appearing around her during her daily activities and following hints and help from Harry and Angela realises the secret the Quileute have been hiding, but for some reason her wolf is not willing to reveal his identity to her and after issuing an ultimatum, Bella heads off to visit her mother, with her new friend Leah in tow._

_During the trip, Leah learns the pain that she has caused by separating the wolf from his imprint, and after rescuing Bella from a spiked drink begins to try and convince Bella of the wolf's love for her, all the while silenced by the Alpha command that hides his identity from Bella. Shortly before their return Leah learns that a misunderstood phone call from Bella has caused the wolf to fall into a coma, believing that his imprint has abandoned him._

_On their return the girls are rushed to the reservation where Bella discovers that the man she is in love with, is also the wolf she is imprinted to and Leah takes her life in her hands to wake him from the coma. Reunited, yet still dazed Jake invokes unknown power and rips the Alpha status from Sam. Jake struggles to gain Bella's acceptance of their new relationship whilst fighting a rising wave of newly turned vampires._

_Jake arranges for Leah to return to school with Bella, at the _same_ time learning more about his powerful nature and the secrets that everyone around him appears to carry. He learns of the previous pack and the devastating damage that was inflicted on their families during their phasing. He also becomes aware of how much Charlie knows about the Quileute secrets when the vampire threats become focussed on Bella._

_As Laurent is revealed as the source of the dangerous obsession with Bella, Leah is assaulted as she fights to protect Bella, and the wolves become aware that the vampires are not solely focussed on feeding, but have other powerful predatory drives as well. In the chase that follows Leah is joined by Rosalie and they exact a terrifying justice on the abuser. Rosalie leaves after issuing Jake with a warning about Edward and offering her assistance to the pack._

_Bella and Leah begin supporting the pack with their education, during which they discover that Paul is almost illiterate. As Bella seeks to help him despite Jake's reservations, she is injured by accident and during treatment encounters a male nurse who causes her to question Billy about the wolf pack. To Bella's concern and Jake's disgust it is revealed that the nurse in question is in fact Sam's cousin and that the Elders have allowed a web of lies to be woven preventing him from joining the pack._

_Jake's anger at the Elders causes a rift between him and Billy that Charlie intervenes to repair but Bella becomes aware that Billy is holding more secrets, and despite her growing love for future father-in-law she is wary of the damage his secrets may cause. Sam fights against the newly revealed potential wolf due to his growing relationship with Leah, causing Jake to send Sam and Emily away for a while so that Sam can work on his priorities._

_Michael, the nurse and Sam's cousin, is brought over to the reservation after a confrontation with Paul and Jake gets out of hand and he rapidly adapts to his new life until Bella inadvertently reminds Leah that Michael has not imprinted, causing Leah to panic. In an attempt to put things right, Bella acts as bait while alone in the city with Michael. She draws a vampire to her bleeding wound and causes Michael to phase for the first time._

_Jake is shocked to discover that the vampire is none other than Jasper, who has sought him out after learning that Rosalie can no longer be heard by Edward since pledging her support to Jake. Although suspicious, Jake, Bella and Paul begin to spend time with Jasper, learning about Edward's intentions for Bella and Jasper's desire to join Jake's 'army'._

_Leah's happiness with Michael is cut short when Sam gate-crashes the BBQ to celebrate their imprinting and in the subsequent argument between the two, Michael's age and status as the first born Uley descendant allows him to tear away Sam's last remaining position as second-in-command. In his anger at Sam, Michael casts him out of the res, causing a rift within the pack at his sudden rise in power. Mistrust of Michael is further deepened when he reveals his disgust that Sam took what was rightfully his – Leah's innocence._

_Leah and Michael work to overcome their issues and are delighted when Harry makes arrangements to buy Charlie's house for them. Bella is shocked to realise that she knows very little about her own father after learning that he only lived in the house for her sake and actually preferred his apartment over the police station. She begins to realise that staying at the Black residence is now a permanent possibility._

_Jake's powers begin to escalate rapidly as he spends more time with Jasper, his shifting now no longer constrained to simply a wolf form. The news is ill received by the Elders and even Billy appears frightened of the changes his son is going through. Bella is further surprised to learn that Paul has also been affected, but while Jake begins to shift effortlessly into any animal, Paul gets stuck as a miniature pink poodle to Bella's delight._

_Jake begins to prepare for Edward's return but learns more about the vampire sexual nature from Jasper and begin to fear that he cannot trust him at all, after learning Jasper's true intentions the night of Bella's birthday. When Sam suddenly returns no longer linked to the pack mind, the situation spirals out of control as Leah, Jake and Jasper all race to try to destroy Edward and rescue Sam and Emily._

_Leah is forced to confront Sam and the pack bears witness to Jake's terrifying power as he torments Sam psychologically with threats against Emily and her unborn child until Sam collapses in mental agony. The pack is left scarred and disturbed as to what their leader is capable of, unaware that Jake is in fact rapidly closing in on Edward and his hostage Emily using his powerful spiritual link to the blood of his people._

_Jake is just about to rescue Emily when he becomes aware that Jasper has over-powered Paul and disappeared with Bella. In his rage he calls upon dark powers and finds the ability to Spirit Walk, discovering Jasper in the midst of seducing Bella. In a terrifying rage he hunts them down and disables Jasper before losing himself in his fierce wolf desire to reclaim his mate. As he prepares himself to execute Jasper he chances a look inside the vampire's mind, and is startled to discover the separate identity of 'The Major' and Jasper's true if misguided attempts to protect Alice, and The Major's destructive impact on their relationship. With the powerful spirits intrigued by The Major, Jake relents on the execution and instead feeds Jasper, an act which causes The Major, as well as Jasper to submit to his control._

_

* * *

_

[BPOV]

As I stepped away I could hardly see his face in the shadows cast by the thick curtains. I'm not sure at what point the lights inside had gone out but the sun had yet to rise and the crisp dawn air was sharp against my skin. Jake stuttered a few times, then a tear ran slowly down his cheek as he reached out to touch my neck. His fingers skimmed lightly yet I flinched. Until that moment I hadn't realised how sore my neck was. He shook his head as a second tear followed the first. "Bella, I'm not a God", he choked out. His face seemed to crumple "Look at what I did to you, I'm just as much of a monster as they are. It's no different…" His voice trailed away as brought his hands up to the sides of his face, shaking his head more and more violently.

Jasper was barely a blur as he reached out for Jake's shoulder, spinning him towards him. "No!" He said loudly. "Don't do this to yourself Jake, I know it doesn't make sense right now, don't let him twist your mind up".

I could feel myself starting to panic. "Jasper, what's going on?" I begged. Jasper's expression was full of concern, "It's not what I expected, I didn't think it would be like this". I could feel my eyes getting wide as Jake continued to shake his head, "Like what Jasper, what's happening?" I felt like slapping him, what had he done to Jake?

"Jake please, listen, I'm going to get Bella downstairs to the car, can you shift and meet us?" Jake acted like he hadn't even heard Jasper speak. He grabbed him roughly again by his shoulders, "Alpha Black, my Alpha!" Jasper shouted so loud my ears began to ring but I saw immediately that Jake's had focussed on him. He seemed to listen this time and nodded in response. His fingers traced my face again but he pulled his hand away rather than lingering on my neck this time. I stepped back as he shuddered into the phase, and I was startled to see the bird form instead of his usual wolf, but as he launched himself out of the window I realised it made more sense.

I turned to Jasper in a daze "What's going on?" Jasper was tearing through the room, stuffing things into a bag and trying to tidy up some of the general destruction. "I'm not sure to be honest Bella, it's The Major, I can't stop him talking, they are locked in some intense debate and I have no control over it. I thought before that I knew what was going to happen, but that was before the blood, I think the blood changed everything. They are linked now".

I threw my arms up in despair "Well what are they talking about?" Jasper slowed, coming to a stop in front of me as he handed me the bag. He shrugged, a gesture that looked so oddly human on him now that I regarded him for a minute. The realisation struck me hard, Jasper now looked as human as Carlisle or Emmett, the tautness of his face, the severity of his eyes was gone completely. Everything that had marked him as separate from the rest of the Cullens had evaporated. Even his physical presence was different now, as he stood in front of me, he was actually slouched a little, instead of his usual poker straight posture. He shrugged again and raised an eyebrow "I don't know" he paused, "I don't speak Native American".

He turned around again and walked to the phone, talking with the front desk and checking us out. He laughed amicably and apologised for a 'party' that had got out of control, insisting that they billed all damages to his credit card. He reached out his hand and took hold of mine, leading me out of the room and into an elevator. I followed blindly, my mind numbed into silence with shock. Only a few hours ago, this man, correction, this vampire, had tried to seduce me, tried to make me violate my relationship, probably had tried to kill me or at least turn me into a vampire. Now here I was allowing him to hold my hand. I flinched at that realisation and pulled my hand away from his.

Jasper looked at me intently "I'm sorry Bella, I hope in time you will be able to forgive me, not just for what happened earlier, but for everything that went before". I felt my lip curl in disgust. "I don't want to discuss that now. My only concern is what is going on with Jake." My voice sounded steadier than I felt, and I knew that part of the disgust I felt was still directed at myself for what I had allowed to happen earlier. But part of me felt strangely calm and contented. I turned to regard myself in the elevator mirror and let out a gasp of shock. My appearance gave everything away – the dress was crumpled and torn, the shoulder strap was stained with blood from the wound on my neck. I gasped again as I looked closely at it. I barely remembered any sensation of pain, everything else that I had been feeling was so overwhelming. But this must have hurt, there was no denying it, this wasn't a hickey or something silly. I unconsciously held my wrist up to my neck, the pale scar visible under the fluorescent lighting.

I realised then what Jake had meant, under the crusting blood I could make out every tooth, top and bottom, this was not something light and meaningless, this was fierce, this would scar, this was real, this was a mark. Something clicked in my mind and I turned back to Jasper abruptly. "How do you mate?" I blurted out as the blood rushed to my cheeks. The doors to the elevator slid open and I was relieved to see that we were in the parking garage. Jasper pointed the way to the vehicle "Sorry, just to avoid getting myself in any further trouble with Jake can you clarify what you mean by that Bella".

I stopped by the door, my face burning at the thought of what I wanted to know. "Not the sex part, I get that, but when it's forever, like marriage but more so, I mean is it the normal ring deal…" Jasper's face cracked into a grin "Rings come in and out of fashion, but your mate, your wife, she wears your mark for all existence, that's why we typically bite the wrist for a normal turning, unless of course you're turning the one who is going to be your mate." Jasper moved to open the door, looking closely at my neck as he did so "but then you already knew that Mrs Black" he said with a wink as he ushered me into the back seat.

I sat down and buckled my belt with trembling hands as Jasper pulled quickly out. I was staring at my hands in my lap. I did know it, and I think Jake did too, which was probably what had scared him so much. Was it the Alpha wedding ritual he had been searching for, or was it a vampire mating ritual instead, or even more strangely, were they possibly the same thing? I was pulled out of my thoughts as Jasper made a sharp turn and came to a halt. The door next to me opened and Jake climbed in looking shaken. The interior light bathed his face in its artificial glow. I reached out my arms to him and looked at him, really looked at him, I could see the drying red flecks around his mouth. His eyes were closed and he froze in place. "Jake, look at me". He shook his head again, letting out a choked sob. I gently placed my hand on his chin and tilted his face to mine, "look at me please". Jake's eyelids flickered then opened as tears ran down his face again. "I'm sorry" he whispered. I fought every emotion inside myself, every thought that threatened to bubble up to the surface before trusting my voice "Its ok". I traced my finger across his eyebrow, willing myself to be calm. This was no different I told myself again, this was no different from any other power he had. I looked deep into the eyes of the man I loved, looking past the fact that I loved waking up to his deep brown eyes and knowing in my heart of hearts that I wouldn't love his any less regardless of the fearful red that was shining back at me now. There would be no way to deny it, he had not only marked me, he had clearly drunk my blood. Yet I was alive and well and therefore as far as I was concerned this meant nothing at all. Jasper closed the door behind him and then returned to the driver's seat, pulling away sharply.

Jake didn't move, his eyes were locked on mine. "I'm not good" he whispered, "I used to be". I pulled off the belt and climbed over him as he sat back in the seat. I remembered how I had climbed on to him when he had first woken up after that terrible coma. I rested my forehead against his as he continued to whisper "I'm not made to save anyone Bella, I'm not meant to be what I am". He let out a long breath, his hands winding around me, pulling me into a tight hug against him.

"Jake", I went to continue but he cut me off with a kiss. "Bella, they are going to tell you things, terrible things about me, about what I've done, about what I've done to you", his voice was choking with pain. "Hush" I whispered back "I know Jake, I know". I thought back to what I had said to Billy, it seemed like a lifetime ago now, but in fact it was only the morning before. "Do you think I'm afraid of you, of what you've done? Jake I was made for you, look at me". I pulled my head back and looked deep into his eyes. "I was made to know the difference, I was bitten in anger, in hate, so that when it was time I would know what it was to be bitten in love, in desire, in mating, so that I would not fear what you needed to do, what you needed to be. You are what you are meant to be, and you are mine, and I am yours alone".

Jake's arm enveloped me and pinned me to him as sobs racked his body. "We'll get through this Jake, whatever happens next, we'll get through this". I leaned my head against the top of his, stroking his hair gently until the sobs began to fade into a steadier rhythm. I wondered how long it had been since he had last slept. Days seemed to have lost all meaning and it was as if we were living a lifetime every minute that passed us by.

I twisted round slightly, trying not to disturb Jake as I looked to Jasper. I regarded him coolly in the rear view mirror. He was humming quietly to himself and for a moment I felt anger as I looked at his eyes. "Why are yours still golden? I saw you drink from him, how come his have changed and yours haven't?" I could hear the irritation in my voice even though I was whispering. Jasper's gaze fixed mine through the rear-view. "He drank human blood, it will fade in a while, maybe a day or so, I don't know". I could feel the anger starting to bubble inside me "You didn't answer the question Jasper" I pointed out angrily. He took a long sigh "Actually, I think you'll find I gave you your answer". I stared at him, irritation making me clench my fists as I thought about what he was saying, "Jake IS human" I bit back, "he's just special, that's all". Jasper shrugged again, a gesture I was rapidly beginning to dislike "The eyes would disagree with you about that Bella". I huffed and folded my arms across my chest snuggling back into Jake's warmth.

I looked out of the window and saw the familiar surroundings of the res, it made me feel safe, secure almost. For a moment, a brief second at least then Jasper slowed the car abruptly. "Bella" Jasper's voice wavered, uncertain and I looked around for whatever was causing him concern. "Bella, you need to get out of the car and show them you are ok". I frowned, "Show who?" I looked at Jasper and gasped as his eyes widened in shock and he clamped his hands over his ears "Oh God" he shrieked, "they are so loud and so angry". I felt Jake move suddenly, his eyes flying open as he awoke abruptly. He tilted his head to the side "QUIET", it wasn't a shout but the power in his voice rippled through me still. Jasper collapsed his head against the wheel with a moan. I felt Jake's hands on my hips turning me round "Show them" he said simply and then opened the door.

I stepped out of the car, blinking in the bright morning light and watched as the pack stalked towards us. Paul was at the front and I watched as he shuddered out of the phase. His face was red with anger but I stared straight at him regardless, ensuring that I didn't glance down as he seemed to have no intention of putting some clothes on. I raise my hands in an appeasing gesture "It's ok Paulie, everything's ok". His expression bordered on incredulous "Ok? Ok? He BIT you, that goddamn leech bit you!" His tone spewed venom and hatred. I shook my head "No, no Paulie, Jasper didn't bite me, I'm not turned, look" I grabbed his huge hand, feeling how it trembled with rage and the attempt to control himself. I laid his hand softly over my heart rubbing my thumb across his knuckles. "See, everything is fine, ok, everything is fine".

Paul looked at me in confusion "Then what happened, who hurt you?" I shook my head "Nobody hurt me ok, I'll explain in a little bit". It was his turn to shake his head now "No Bella, where's Jake? You tell me who hurt you". The pack began to phase out now, Leah moving forward past Paul with tears in her eyes "Bella, tell us who hurt you please, let us make it better".

I felt movement behind me and gritted my teeth, this may not be the best time for him to come in front of them. I moved over slightly so that Jake could climb out of the car. I was holding my breath, willing with every part of me that this would go ok. I turned to Jake who was staring at the floor and gripped his hand firmly in mine. "I'm here" he spoke quietly. Leah moved forward "Jake what's going on, who hurt Bella?"

Although I wasn't looking at him directly I knew the second he looked up at her. Her terrified gasp tore through the eerie silence from the rest of the pack. She staggered back, one arm outstretched in horror as if it would ward him away from her. She bumped into Paul causing him to stumble as he stared at Jake. Instead of retreating though, Paul strode forward again, never taking his eyes of Jake for a second until he stood directly in front of him. Paul raised his arm and placed it on Jake's chest, just the same as I had made him do to mine. Paul sighed heavily, shaking his head and dropped his hand, "What the hell have you done?"

The question hung heavily in the air as Jake stepped back and climbed back into the vehicle, "Go to the Elders" his tone was flat and lifeless and his face was cast back into the shadows of the vehicle. I reached out and took Paul's hand in mine again, trying to smile, "Go on, we'll meet you there" I said reassuringly. His eyes flickered to the driver's door "What about the treaty?" he asked quietly. There was a low growl from behind me and I flinched slightly, regaining my composure as Jake spoke again in monotone "He is mine". I turned my face to the rest of the gathered faces, trying not to let their confused, saddened faces eat at my heart until Leah spoke again, her voice barely a whisper as I climbed back into the vehicle, back into the safety of Jake's warm embrace, "So what are we then?"

I shut the door behind me and Jasper pulled away, I presumed he was heading for the Elder's Lodge. I rested my head against Jake's forehead and breathed a deep sigh, what are we indeed?


	65. UpdateSequel Announcement

Author update:

I apologise to those dedicated readers who felt that I had abandoned them. Sometimes life just gets in the way.

For those you who are still interested, I'm going to tidy up Unexplained Connection and it is now listed as complete [if you get other update notices for old chapters please ignore them, it is just me fixing and tidying].

I will be starting writing the sequel this week. I will post the first chapter as soon as it is typed.

I will also pick up I never said I'd fight fair again and get that one moving also.

To everyone who sent me notes and encouragement, I thank you. Even if I didn't respond, and sometimes it took me several weeks just to get the courage to read them as I felt so disappointed with myself for not being able to write.

For those who asked, and those who remember, I work in a secure ward. I was seriously beaten by a patient and have spent the last 5 months on meds to control the extreme headaches it left me with. The meds stopped me dreaming, I never knew that it was impossible to write when you can't dream until I tried.

But hey, enough self-pity, and on with the show!


End file.
